Welcome to my website. Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which might not appear elsewhere. And to have some fun.
Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that. So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)
There is a contest every two weeks when this column appears and the first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly will receive vouchers worth at least 3,000 baht in food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, The Londoner, The Old Dutch, Electric Blue, The Big Mango and Bourbon Street Cafe. The prizes will build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get quite interesting. Second prize is one of my books or else a 500-baht book gift voucher from Dasa Books.
I will also add information to a column as I receive it or report on nightlife as I encounter it so check back now and again as there may be much new even within a week or ten days. And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers, waitresses and hostesses).
Have you noticed that the Thai government, egged on by puritanical bureaucrats, has been getting more politically correct than even Americans? Can't show cigarettes in stores, no liquor sales at certain times during the day, no alcohol advertising (with exceptions), and meanwhile farang vegetarian fanatics in letters to the editors spew forth their demands that we stop eating meat. Let us hope these lovely girls selling beer in the pubs, etc., will not soon become a fond memory. Apparently, they are to be allowed to stay without the advertising on the dress. Huh?? Oh, well, TIT This is Thailand. But will the Singha Beer sign be allowed to remain in this Soi Cowboy gateway? Will Soi Cowboy be allowed to remain? Will I be allowed to remain? And, meanwhile, the areas which formerly had bars along Sukhumvit soi 23 near the end of Soi Cowboy are being redeveloped big time! The beat goes on...
There is still not a great deal of action at the bars along soi 22 off of Sukhumvit near Larry's Dive. A pity, because some of the young ladies working behind counters there are a lot of fun. Lots and lots of foot massages, though.
Halloween night was quieter than most bars wanted but not that quiet. Long Gun was as usual quite packed even though it was mainly (for a while) girls fully dressed and winning or losing prizes. Deja Vue was quiet but had lots of pretty girls dancing. Baccarat has undergone a facelift outside but is the same inside. Most of the prettiest dancers upstairs had already been barfined by 10 o'clock. Persistent reports from Rumor-Control Headquarters has it that that bar is making a fortune, and so does the mama-san. They can thank the customers for that in which case they would have to say arigato gazimas. Sheba's was so packed that I sat at the bar for 15 minutes before one of the girls noticed I didn't have a drink. Which was OK with me. While not packed, Rawhide was doing well and some of the ladies in a lot of these bars were well into their cups. Of course, the most fun during holidays is sitting outside watching the action: the weird tourists, the fun-loving girls, the meandering elephants, the busy vendors, the kids, the flower sellers, and all the rest.
Are you tired of these avaricious idiots attempting to scam you with their bullshit? Especially the Nigerians? Well, here is a guy who did something about it. And so can you. Check it out: http://www.419eater.com/
If you go up the backstairs to Nana Plaza or even hang about the main balcony on the second floor pretty soon you are likely to wonder if you are in a go go area or a hair styling training camp. Some of the go go dancers seem to think that when they get just a bit long in the tooth (which in Bangkok nightlife could mean mid-twenties) they can always fall back on their hairdressing skills. Problem is, there is now a hairdressing place on every corner of the city, more even than 7/11's. Anyway, it all adds to the exotic ambiance of Nana Plaza.
When I left for the States, I left through dear old Don Muang airport and when I returned, I had to go through Suvarnabumi (Suwanapoom). It was a long walk to immigration but they do have some moving sidewalks and I had no trouble following the signs. No lines at immigration! Wonderful. But then once through the customs area, sure enough, once again, I was accosted with all kinds of people asking me if I wanted a taxi which of course was a scam for their expensive limousines. So I went outside and no taxis were there but a guy offered me one so I said how much and he said 900 baht so I told him what he could do with his taxi. Fortunately, I turned around and noticed the reflection on the building one floor below where taxis were lined up. So I turned around went in and down the escalator and out into the taxi line where there was once again no line of frustrated travelers, only lots of taxis (This was about 5 in the evening). So except for not knowing where the taxis are the experience was quite positive. Of course, for non-speaking tourists just arriving in Thailand for the first time, they are most likely going to get ripped off by the limousine touts. Isn't it strange no one does anything about that? Couldn't be money is changing hands, could it?
A friend of mine who hangs about Soi Cowboy quite a bit - well, more than quite a bit - took a really sexy young dancer back to his apartment. The type we all like: with the pouty mouth and you-don't-interest-me-much attitude. And although he is certainly not lacking in experience and technique, once in the sack, the girl was yawning and nearly falling asleep. One of those types who look great up on stage dancing but who then proceed to starfish on a guy when he takes her to bed. My friend ceased exerting himself and wiped sweat from his forehead and looked at her and said you don't really like sex much, do you? And the sweet young thing in question said "no."
So my friend got out a pornographic video of a Thai movie star who ran into a lot of flack about 18 months ago once her pornographic video was shown on the internet. Yep, the poor lady had to go to Canossa on that one, and if you don't know the historical reference to going to Canossa, that's OK, it just makes me feel superior. Anyway, let's just say the poor lass was up a well known estuary without a visible means of transportation. So my friend played that video and the girl was absolutely fascinated watching the star moan in ecstasy, etc. But when it was over, my friend asked the girl what she thought. Her answer dashed all his hopes of having got her excited. She said, "That poor girl, she was having such pain. Why was he torturing her?" There is a moral there somewhere, but not certain what it is.
For those of you into Thai pop stars, Sek Loco is going to be live at Hillary 2 Bar on Friday November 10th. Word on the street is that it will be even more crowded than an I'll-pay-you-for-your-vote Taksin rally, and that if you don't book now you won't get in.
Here is a bit about a new book on the Japanese nightlife scene Pink Box: Inside Japan's Sex Clubs which I saw when I was in a New York bookstore. Joan Sinclair, the woman who wrote and photographed it certainly got into her subject in a big way. Go into the URL below and be sure to click into the high resolution images. Yes, it is true, there are mock-ups of subway cars with girls dressed as school girls so the Japanese men can grope them, etc., etc. Compared with Japanese kinkiness, I feel so innocent and pure.
Here they are, the talented young lady band at Titanium on Sukhumvit soi 22. Some good looking women hostesses there as well. About twenty percent of the young ladies do not go out with anyone, the rest do. So your chances are one in five. Better than the Thai lottery. And don't forget to visit the freezing vodka room upstairs.
Tesco has been condemned by politically correct parents for producing and advertising a go go doll pole dancing kit. "Unleash the sex kitten inside...simply extend the Peekaboo pole inside the tube, slip on the sexy tunes and away you go! Soon you'll be flaunting it to the world and earning a fortune in Peekaboo Dance Dollars". Fortunately, many of the comments people wrote in are in favor of this uptight couple lightening up. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=412195&in_page_id=17
The man or rather the legend known as Polecat in Pattaya has decided to contribute regularly to this column. So be advised should you be planning a trip to that NeverNeverland by the Sea, you might wish to check the latest here first.
1 November 2006: It’s that time of year again – a new high season in Pattaya, and the girls are streaming in from the villages, jostling for a place on the beach promenade under the bright lighting so thoughtfully provided by the city authorities, their freshly made-up smiling faces clustering to greet Western men out for an evening stroll.
The bars and agogos, too, are busy with girls exchanging baggy shirts and pants for crop-tops and miniskirts, frowning over the bargirl English phrasebook (where Lesson 1 ends with “How much money can you give?”) and making their first awkward moves at the chrome pole. Their lumpy bashfulness is offset by the gleam in their eyes; these sweet young things really do believe Pattaya’s streets are paved with gold.
Farang bar-owners have the same gleam, a blind faith that no military coup or adverse exchange rate is going to stop them hitting the jackpot this time around. The north end of Walking Street, formerly a stretch of souvenir shops, Sikh tailors and seafood restaurants, has become the new location for go-go bar expansion, following the construction of the side-street called Covent Garden at the south end last season. In a development called The Pier, built over the beer-bar complex just before the Walking Street entrance barrier, is a cluster of upstairs bars, including Highway Star agogo, moved from central Walking Street into this much larger space. The interior is red plush, with amphitheatre-style seating overlooking a big square stage which the modest number of less-than-gifted dancers easily gets lost in. Draught beer 65 baht, good service.
A hundred metres into Walking Street, on the right, the shouters for the new Silver Star agogo will try and entice you up a narrow passage into another red-lit space. Related to the bar of the same name in Soi 8, one of Pattaya’s friendliest, raunchiest gogos, this one seems to be going for a high-end reputation, with draught Heineken at 95 baht and 110 baht for bottled beers and spirits, and lots of girls in various get-ups, from birthday suits to bikinis to little black dresses to Suzi Wong mini-cheongsams. The dancers on the elongated well-stage are a bit non-committal, still finding their feet, so to speak. But the highlight, following Club Boesche and What’s Up, is the jacuzzi, with two laughing lovelies soaping each other and improvising with tongues and fingers for more thorough deep-cleansing. When a Korean businessman, after long and appreciative contemplation, invited them home, the pretty hostess next to me said, “That’s the third night running they’ve been barfined!”
After Beavers, the narrow table-top dancing bar which last year was the first agogo to open on this section of the street, you come to Soi 14 on the left with the revamped Secrets bar. Though marketing itself as a classy meeting place for drinks and food (not a show or dancing bar), it has hostesses and a complement of beautiful dancers in denim cut-offs and boots gyrating on little stages round the bar. Check out their great website, http://www.pattayasecrets.com, for holiday and nightlife information. Next door is Top Girls, where for beer at 130 baht a bottle you can watch average dancers and a 40-minute show of girls doing things with darts and ping-pong balls. Best left to the tour-groups.
The next little street on the left, Soi 15, is rapidly becoming wall-to-wall agogo territory. Pass the perennially packed (because the girls are stunning) table-top dancing bar Beach Club and you get to Angelwitch (Pattaya branch opened earlier this year), with its mass of dancers in the trademark black straps and a variety of energetic and colourful shows, some exploiting the high ceiling and 5-metre poles. You pay full price for drinks, but it’s always busy, and you can keep watching the show through one-way mirrors when you take a leak.
Next door is a staircase up to Fantasia Showcase, which is more girls playing with darts and ping-pong balls; while downstairs is the same firm’s What’s Up agogo, newly done out in white with UV lighting, where dancers in white fishnet hold-ups and skimpy white underwear compete unsuccessfully for attention with winsome lovelies, who’ve somehow lost their underwear, soaping and lolling in erotic poses in a jacuzzi and writhing and beating each other on a white PVC-covered mattress. Some look like they should be at home writing tomorrow’s GCSE history assignment, and I have to confess that I need to get my blood-pressure checked after visiting this amazing value bar, draught beer only 65 baht.
Directly opposite What’s Up are two just-opened single shop-front agogos, Baby Dolls and XXX, with a third, larger bar soon to open on the site of the old Nui’s further up, all owned by the same Brit interests, draught beer 55 baht. The two hot naked coyote dancers, graduates of the best bars in town, work hard but don’t quite compensate for the rawness of the house dancers, unless gaucheness is your thing – and why shouldn’t it be!
These new openings, which no-one would seriously question the need for, a bring the number of go-gos in Fun Town to a magical 69. If I sound lukewarm about the charms of the dancers in the new bars, well, maybe it works like the soccer Premiership: as the clubs develop a following, a reputation and most importantly a fat wad of cash, the top talent will surely follow.
Stay tuned next column for more of Nightlife in Pattaya by the all-knowing, all-seeing, Polecat in Pattaya!
Nana Plaza a go go from http://www.Chriscolesgallery.com
Reports keep coming in that Kloster beer has disappeared from Nana Plaza but is available on Soi Cowboy. If I didn't know that in Thailand all is above board, I might suspect something strange or someone up to no good.
When I lived in Hong Kong the 1997 restaurant on Lan Kwai Fong in Central was just that. The year of the Chinese takeover was still in the future. Like the year 1984 was. Now, as you can see, they have added the "post-97" as well. So I guess it means you can still eat there; they just decided to go with the flo.
Angry customers at a Bookazine store in Bangkok argue over who should get the last copy of Murder in China Red.
Needless to say, the Thai sense of fun, or "sanuk", was in full throttle during Halloween. Above, from left to right: The Londoner Pub on Sukhumvit Road, soi 33, celebrated Halloween in style, beginning several days before the event. And the lady at right with the skeleton is at Nana Plaza. Below are some shots of Soi Cowboy during Halloween:
Links You Might Enjoy
A video of a five-minute walk down Soi Cowboy. Click here and then click "preview videos."
Like satire on Thailand? Try
Like to know what music is playing where in Bangkok each week? Try http://www.bangkokgigguide.com.
Like to know more in depth about what music is playing where in Bangkok each week? Try this great site:
Tired of shoveling snow? Check out Bangkok's sunshine.
Bangkok's weather report.
A great site for listening to Thai Morlan music and other folk music of Southeast Asia.
A bit of black leather never hurts. But she does.
Our Lady in Black
Like to learn a bit about retiring in Asia?
Maps of all the provinces of Thailand
Links You Might Not Enjoy
T-Shirt Hell: for lovers of very black humor only.
Politically incorrect rants and raves from Uncle Fred.
Girlfriends looking for Taliban boyfriends.
Taliban Singles Dating Page
Do you have a product or service you would like to advertise on this website? You can, you know. In fact, you don’t have to have a product or service at all; you can just send me money. Or perhaps you would like me to plug a product or service that you are involved in? Sure, just send me cash. Be sure, however, to mark the outside envelope:
“Birthday money for Dean Barrett –
Absolutely No Bribe Enclosed”
Got feedback to this column? Got information on Thailand you would like to share? Happy as a dung beetle to be living in Paradise? Been ripped off? Just write me.
New contest is for 6,000 baht first prize in food and drink vouchers. You must be the first with the answer and you must live in Bangkok or be about to arrive. Second prize is a 500-baht voucher at Dasa Books. Third prize is Diddly-Squat. Last column's picture (at left) was of statues on the beach in Pattaya right out in plain sight. Maybe the characters are part of Sunthorn Phu's poetry? Taksin and his former cabinet? In any case, I know I have a lot of pattaya readers but alas they are usually too drunk on Walking Street to ever get up toward the north end of the beach. So the prize doubles!
Now just be first to tell me where this quote is from: "When you drank the world was still out there, but for the moment it didn't have you by the throat." Ah, yes, the novel has been made into a movie. Or, if you can't get that one, give me the author and book title of this one: "But really these are irrelevant matters; I am not concerned with so-called sex at all. Anyone can imagine those elements of animality. A greater endeavor lures me on: to fix once for all the perilous magic of nymphets."
That's all for this fortnightly column. Drop by again. Explore the rest of the website. Meanwhile, as the girls used to tell me during the 1960's: "I no lie you, GI, I love you long time; you number one!" And, remember: nothing says goodbye like a bullet. And the more people I meet the more bullets I need.
Dean Barrett can be flamed at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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