Thailand Nightlife Roundup

Welcome to my website.  Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which might not appear elsewhere.  And to have some fun.

Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that. So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)

There is a contest every two weeks when this column appears and the first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly will receive vouchers worth at least 3,000 baht in food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, The Londoner, The Old Dutch, Electric Blue, The Big Mango and Bourbon Street Cafe. The prizes will build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get quite interesting.  Second prize is one of my books or else a 500-baht book gift voucher from Dasa Books.

I will also add information to a column as I receive it or report on nightlife as I encounter it so check back now and again as there may be much new even within a week or ten days.  And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers, waitresses and hostesses).


I can't speak for everyone but I was quite moved by the love the Thais showed for their King during the recent ceremonies.  I was inside the Londoner Pub on the evening of the 9th and candles were distributed and almost everyone went outside to join with other crowds waiting for the right moment to sing the Thai King's Anthem and other songs.  Of course, many people were wearing yellow shirts as H.M. the King was born on a Monday and therefore yellow is his color.  Contrast this kind of gathering throughout Bangkok and throughout the Kingdom with the horrors of China's Cultural Revolution, Nazi Germany, etc., etc. where crowds gathered for all the wrong reasons.  Despite problems, Thailand still has a lot going for it. 

At last, the Londoner Pub has picked their new girls!  And here she is: Noknoi, the replacement for Mam, the former door goddess, at the Londoner Pub.  In fact, she is one of two, Nang being the other.  But Nang is still having her uniform adjusted.  Or something. Although, truth to tell, since I took the photograph I haven't seen much of Noknoi.  It's beginning to look like Mam's role as hostess is a hard one to fill.

Whatever you do, don't forget this is mango season and that delicious desert of mango slices, sticky rice and coconut milk is now available in restaurants.  I had such a desert at the Oriental the other day.  Absolutely delicious.  Although, as I paid the Oriental price, I am still paying it off in installments.  And if you are fortunate to have a Thai girlfriend or wife, ask her to make you the desert.  Sure, a bit fattening, but what a treat!

It seems the Thai undercover police very recently went to Erotica Bar in Nana Plaza as if looking for work.  They saw all the nudity and promptly raided the bar.  But rest assured the bar (with both real girls and ladyboys) is still open.

Town Without Pity

This is a strange town.  Whenever I head out somewhere for a cultural evening I somehow seem to end up at Soi Cowboy or Nana Plaza.  And, sure enough, I headed out the other night intending to read a cult fiction novel, my favorite kind, because the authors are usually nuttier than me, giving me the illusion of sanity. 

I was thinking that maybe one of the better Starbucks might be a good place to relax and enjoy reading.  But then I was inexplicably in the mood for a tuna sandwich at Subway and ended up there.  But it was the Subway near Soi Cowboy because I had just made it to the post office near there before they closed.  So after the post office visit, I made it to Subway, devoured my tuna sandwich and began reading but remembered I needed a 1-2-call card for my cellphone so ambled across the street to 7/11 which, alas, put me on the same side of Soi 23 as Soi Cowboy. 

I decided I would have just one beer before going back in to read some more and ended up at the outside corner bar.  I figured that way I would not see any actual go go dancing and would not be tempted; I would just enjoy watching the elephant with its flashing red How's My Driving No Passing type warning light on its tail, bargirls being driven to work on motorcycles by their boyfriends, and vendors of various much-in-demand beetles, worms, cockroaches and bugs.  But I had just returned from the Land of the Big PX and had very bad jet lag, and the beer and heat and humidity were knocking me out so I decided I needed air-conditioning immediately which somehow led me into the bowels of the Suzie Wong bar.  And sure enough there was one of my (not so) old favorites.  She smiled at me and her dancing was even more erotic than I remembered.  And before you could say "no, no, no" five times fast I had asked her if she wanted to go back to my place and she had said yes.

While she was getting changed I realized how dumb I was being.  Absolutely stupid.  Not only was I not going to get any reading done but if experience be any guide when I have jetlag (and I get it bad) my performance in bed with a lady is, to employ an understatement, not something for the record books.  But what was done was done so off we went for a quick stop at the Londoner Pub so she could have some dinner (and it being Wednesday I knew drinks were 2 for 1 all evening).

When we arrived at my apartment, we watched part of an idiotic Star Movie on TV and then she went off to shower.  When she finished I did the same and when I emerged from the bathroom there once again was the most beautiful site in the universe: a curvaceous brothel-brown complexioned Asian beauty with long jet-black hair wrapped from the waist down in an emerald green towel.  We tumbled into bed but, fearing the worst, I nevertheless explained jetlag to her as best I could, mumbled some excuses about the beers I'd had, the heat, the humidity, and anything else I could think of just in case John-among-the-maids failed to perform.  John-among-the-maids performed valiantly under the circumstances which is to say not all that well.

But I told fair maiden not to worry and I gobbled a Kamagra in front of her.  She asked me what pill I was taking and I could have said a sleeping pill (I had to take one of those also because jetlag was waking me up at five) but I told her not to worry; in the morning she would get her just desserts.  Well, OK, maybe I couldn't actually say "just desserts" with the right nuance in Thai so she probably thought I was going to give her some kind of Thai sweet for breakfast which may be why she keep looking at me strangely.

But, to make a long story short, in the morning for whatever reason (sometimes that ole early morning testosterone does the trick all by hisself, don't you know?) John-among-the-maids performed beautifully and the situation was saved.  I do wish to make it clear however that I seldom need any artificial stimulant for that purpose.  There are only two times I need to pop a Viagra or its equivalent: during an eclipse of the sun and not during an eclipse of the sun.  Anyway, my advice to those of you who occasionally invite a Thai Entertainment Provider (EP) into your home is this: Buy bath towels rich green in color.  The contrast with their lovely butterscotch skin is fantastic.  Hmm umm good!  That's what Campbell soups are, all right. 

I never worry much about Bangkok's soi dogs.  When I lived on soi 31 off Sukhumvit I bought some treats for them but whenever I tried to toss a few at them they ran like hell.  I think most of these dogs have been kicked or whacked so much they generally cower.  Unlike the Chinese chows in Hong Kong, I might add, which loved to cause trouble during the 17 years I lived there.  But then in comes friend Matz through the door of the Londoner struggling with crutches.  Yep, sure enough, Matz was sitting on a street corner (I almost wrote "on a curb" forgetting that this ain't Chicago or "on a stoop" forgetting that this ain't Manhattan) drinking with some Thai guys in the early morning hours when a dog came trotting over.  Matz assumed it was friendly and reached out to pet it.  Nope, it weren't friendly.  Thet thair dog bout as friendly as Uncle Buba's fart in the Save-My-Ass-First Baptist church was durin' Easter, Scarlet, honey, I'm here to tell yah.  Anyway, friend Matz had the first of five shots he has to have.  So from now on I think I will pay a bit more attention to soi dogs that amble up close and friendly like.  And, of course, the restaurant that owns the dog says that they don't really own the dog, they just let it stay there and they named him.  Uh, huh.

Ask yourself this question and think carefully before answering:  Would you rather get in a fight with the Thai police or with irate bargirls?  The answer is if you picked the Thai police you go to the head of the class.  Because as reported in the Pattaya Mail (I like to give credit to hardworking newspaper reporters in our seaside Sodom and Gomorrah whenever possible), the officers were checking bars to make certain no alcohol was being sold because the honorable senate was having elections.  It seems unlike other bars, the Meeting Point bar didn't pay very much attention to either the rule or to Pattaya's Finest trying to enforce said rule.  "...but as the officers led the cashier from the bar the serving girls set upon them, tearing their uniforms and knocking them down."  (Have you ever considered the very real possibility that all of Thailand is some kind of new Sony video game and we're just characters in it?)  Anyway, "the patrol radioed for help" blah blah blah.  The picture of two of the girls at the police station shows them looking neither afraid nor disturbed; just sleepy and bored.  One of them "refused to accept the charges or to sign an acknowledgement.  The case continues."  Yes, indeed, that story next to the headline "Woman in pickup shoots two men during Songkran Revelry" and just above the headline "Man Killed by Lightning on the way to Mother's House to Celebrate Songkran" makes me happy to be in Thailand but not to be in Pattaya.

I've mentioned before some of the good deals in Bangkok regarding early hour drinks, etc. But I forgot to mention that if your bill at the Londoner Pub comes to 1,000 baht or more, you get a card which entitles you to a 50 percent discount which can be used on food on Mondays and Tuesdays.  And of course the pub still has it's two drinks for the price of one policy on Wednesdays until closing, during the other days until 7 p.m.  Also, bars on Soi Cowboy such as Dollhouse have really low prices during Happy Hour.

I was up at Hollywood Carousel the other night and caught the show.  The show was OK, two girls each wanting to eat the same banana, that kind of thing, but it wasn't until the soapsuds part of the show that I stared enjoying it.  Watching lovely women soap themselves and one another up should be a turn-on for any man.  I also like the three girls dancing in the cage.  They really dance.  One problem was after the show was over that particular main stage went dark for over ten minutes, leaving customers on that side of the room with no dancing to watch at all.  I was beginning to feel like a black man at at Klan rally.  So I left.  I think the management needs to work on their timing a bit.  That main stage should never be left dark.  As you can see if you click on the photo, Angelwitch and Hollywood Carousel believe in advertising.

A friend of mine went through the usual airport customs check but he speaks fluent Thai.  He said no matter how much he takes out of his pockets, something usually sets off the alarm.  So, sure enough, the alarm rang, and a Thai girl began checking him but giving him apologies for patting him down.  He chatted with her and joked and said it felt good and she should continue for as long as she liked.  She thought he was a lot of fun and to make a longer story shorter he ended up getting her phone number.  Now, I wonder what the chances of something like that happening would be in the West.

Several people have suggested in e-mails as well as in person that I should build a list of readers and send out reminders when my column is up.  Well, it's like this.  The column is up on the 1st and 15th of every month and I do my best to write novels as well as to write this website.  That leaves little time as it is for a roll in the rice with the lovely ladies of LOS every now and again.  I could, for example, make up a list now or I could go back into the bedroom and have yet another roll in the rice with she who is soon to awake.  So you know what you can do with the reminders list, right, mate?  Just don't hang by your thumbs until you get one from me.

Heng Thung, author of the memoir, The Pigeons and the Witch Doctor: Adventures of a Modern Mapmaker, will appear for a “Meet the Author” session at Dasa Book Café on Saturday, June 17, 1-3 p.m. The Pigeons and the Witch Doctor details Heng Thung’s five decades of travels around the world, during which time he worked as a geologist, project consultant, and mapmaker. During his time in Southeast Asia, Dr. Thung was the coordinator of aerial surveillance of poppy fields in the Golden Triangle area, as well as conducting aerial photo analysis to determine what caused the decline of the Khmer Empire at Angkor.  (Apparently the decline was not caused by an overabundance of entertainment providers as I had suspected.)  

A fellow at Nana's Big Dogs was telling me about his recent trip to the States.  He said he was in a pub-type bar and started chatting up the waitress with the kind of question we ask and are asked here in LOS, e.g., where are you from, how long you lived here, what's your name.  He said within ten minutes the manager came over and said he was freaking out the waitress and he wanted to know why he was asking her all these personal questions.  Yep, when I hear tales like that it makes me check my Thai visa to make sure all is up to date and I won't ever have to go back to Paranoiaville.

I was at the Old Dutch Corner the other night on Cowboy and, as usual, ordered the super breakfast which comes with two cups of coffee.  The guy brought over a coffee and less than a minute later the waitress brought over another coffee.  Sure enough the menu does say two cups of coffee but, in general, one would not prefer both served at the same time.  She was obviously new and trying hard, and it cracked me up too much to explain, so the guy apologized and took one back.  Then he explained things to her.  Some of these menus should say "Western logic extra charge."  

Believe it or not the young lady above had just begun work at Lucky Luke's when I took this picture.  It was her first night.  And it may be the first time since I first heard that line that it was the truth.  And this being Thailand it could still be her first night because, in case you didn't know, Entertainment Providers in This Kingdom of Make-Believe have an unlimited supply of "first nights."

A beautiful young lady at the Big Mango, Nana Plaza, looks out over her domain awaiting the arrival of Prince Charming.  If you click on the photo you will get a better view of her perfect figure-8 figure, luscious complexion, delicate hand.  Perhaps her prince could be you.  Or me.  Or Hasekiro.

Speaking of the Big Mango bar, I ran into the owners, Nick and Michael, the other night on Soi Cowboy of all places.  I guess they must have been slumming.  Anyway, here is picture of Michael feeding an elephant and the next picture is of their friend Mike inside the Five Star Bar having a whale of a good time.  It seems Mike had a wealthy roommate in college who wanted to marry a woman.  The woman had a very rich father who gave the roommate and Mike an all expense paid round the world trip, brothels included, for two weeks and said if you still want to marry my daughter when you get back after having seen the world, then fine.  If you have changed your mind, no hard feelings on my part at all.  And off they went to two week's of barely imaginable pleasure.  Well, the guy didn't change his mind but the trip sure opened Mike's eyes to Bangkok.  And so here he is.

A friend of mine has been taking pills for hair loss (or rather to prevent hair loss) for quite some time.  He says it isn't Rogaine because that one is for hair loss beginning in the middle of the scalp whereas his was from the front.  In any case, whatever he was taking was in a drawer just inches from his Viagra stash.  Well, one fine night, when he was in a hurry, he reached in and took what he thought to be his prevent-hair-loss pill.  By the time he got to the restaurant, his friends were waiting.  As soon as he sat down, the Thai waitress whipped the napkin off his table and placed it in his lap, her hand brushing his lap.  Whoopseedaisy!!  Yep, that boy done took the wrong pill and the napkin rose up faster than a scantily clad, floating lady in a magician's show.  He didn't say what the waitress said but he now places his Viagra stash in a separate drawer.

I went to Skoob Books at Penny's Balcony (2nd floor) recently.  This is just at the corner of Soi Thonglor and Thonglor soi 16, across from the Au Bon Pain.  It isn't bad and is worth a look but it is a small shop and so doesn't have the depth of a few of the other used book stores such as Elite and Dasa.  It must be an incredibly classy store, however, because I found two of my books there.  While I was at Au Bon Pain, I saw an Asian woman wearing a shirt which said "Smoking seriously harms you and others around you."  She might have been an International School chick from the West, but if she is a Thai, it is sad to see in-your-face healthnazism spreading to Thailand.

Some of these Spas are incredibly expensive as are some of these cooking schools and classes.  If you are really into learning how to cook Thai food, I think it is much cheaper to marry a Thai woman who can cook rather than pay outrageous prices to hotel cooking schools.

Customers outside a Pattaya bookstore riot when told The Go Go Dancer who Stole My Viagra is sold out.

In the (incredibly boring) movie, Da Vince Code, the woman is told that she is the last living descendant of Mary Magdelaine and Jesus.  And she tries to act appropriately, as if grappling with that overpowering revelation.  I think if I were in that position, of being told I was the last living descendant of Jesus and Mary, my question would be: "So does this mean I can't go to Soi Cowboy, anymore?"

I went to Chao Phraya II Massage Parlor the other day on Sri Ayudhya Road.  Alas, I went about 8 o'clock when I should have gone two or three hours earlier.  There were plenty of Bororn Traditional Massage older ladies available and on the opposite side there were plenty of not too attractive body massage ladies.  But those in the middle, the Superstars, were few and far between and I ended up drinking beer for an hour without getting a massage.  But the decor of this place is quite amazing.  A huge wall to wall carpet and tables for men to eat and drink while waiting for a lady they would like, and we look though a series of glass circles at the girls, as if a huge shark had opened its mouth and we are looking through its teeth.  And where the girls are is amazing: Long rows of pink bleachers, a sofa, splendid arrays of flowers, curtains with fringe, a painting of a deserted beach, orange wall stripes behind the girls perpendicular to the pink bleachers, and girls and women in every sort of outfit from those which would not be out of place in the manager's office of Bangkok Bank to those which are incredibly daring.  The gaudy decor of the fishbowl shouldn't work but somehow it does.  It is like looking into a fairyland of some sort.  The place even has a Tiger Beer Girl now, and even though I was drinking Heineken, she poured my beer for me.  Anyway, next time I shall arrive earlier.

I was watching a lovely Thai girl sit on a stool chatting with her friend.  She wore a tight blouse and her skirt kept crawling up her legs and she kept pulling it down.  She was a real turn on and I was getting aroused.  And then I remembered I was in a go go bar and, except for their boots, the dancers on stage were naked.  And yet I found the dressed girl more interesting.  I think it is true: When it comes to sexual attraction, form and mystery win out over bare flesh every time.

I guess you saw the article about Hun Sen in Cambodia.  His wife and others have convinced him to ban the third generation of mobile phones because women could send tempting messages and seduce men with photographs, etc.  Is Cambodia weird or what?

Happy staff at the Londoner Pub, soi 33, Sukhumvit.

It is no secret that there seems to be animosity between Western men and women.  This can be seen in the (boring) remake of the Poseidon movie.  A well dressed, good looking guy meets a woman and asks the woman something about her child's father joining them and the woman turns bitchy asking the guy is this how you glean information from women you meet (or something like that)?  What is it about Western women that they can't take a man's interest in them as a compliment and instead have to get nasty about it?  Isn't that it in a nutshell?  Asian women, Latin American women, etc., etc., don't mind providing information about themselves if they see a man is interested in them.  But so many American women are hostile as hell.  Until that attitude changes (and don't hold your breath until it does), LOS will be even more attractive.  It's not any fear of smart women, stupid, it's your attitude.

And this just in from the Soi Nana crowd.  It seems the best way to pick up a lady for the night is to wait until about 3 in the morning when what they really want is a place to stay and then say OK you can stay at my place but I won't be paying you.  According to some, this idea works like a charm, and of course with a man and woman in bed together you know what happens.  But in the morning, sure enough, he doesn't have to pay.  I do hope people who do this give the girl breakfast and taxi money, though.  What's fair is fair.  As for me, I'm not up that late so it is one technique I won't be trying.  And what is this rumor I keep hearing about the manager of The Big Mango bar actually having been barfined by women more than once?  Other than youth and income, what's he got that I don't have?

Recently visited Carnival Bar, third floor, Nana Plaza.  It used to be a really fine bar but then went downhill a few years back and alas it is still downhill.  It is fun, however, to watch the girls as well as inebriated punters attempt to ride the mechanical bull.  Two of the girls worked out a system in which they sit facing each other on the bull and hold hands.  Their hands are out and above them and this helps them keep their balance.  They stayed on quite a while.  I understand allowing a woman several pounds overweight to dance but I cannot understand owners who allow really fat dancers to dance.  Aren't fat women in the wrong profession on a go go stage?  Somebody should tell the owner of Carnival.  And a few other bars.  As you can see from above, they do have nice neons outside the bar though.

Some friends and I went into Playskool a go go again and once again it was full of good looking women with good - sometimes great - figures.  We were bowled over but that might also be because we had just come from Carnival.  And have you ever noticed that these bars have moods of their own?  I mean, compare Carnival to Hollywood to Playskool.  The atmosphere and mood of the bar is really different.  And of course so is Rainbow 4 where rumor-control insists some of the best looking girls are getting quite wealthy.  Right, well some are also getting an attitude.

Another bar really looking up is Soi Cowboy's Deja Vu.  The bar wasn't much of anything long ago when I entered.  Now there are some good looking dancers downstairs and also dancing on the glass ceiling upstairs.  Those upstairs wear a cute and flimsy two piece white outfit.  Those downstairs are not overburdened with apparel.  Pool tables and other interesting opportunities are upstairs.  I believe that the owner of this bar is the same owner of Spice Girls and Midnight.  He should really replace some of the overweights in Midnight and get that bar going again.

Here's a horrifying statistic: "More than 100 million women worldwide have undergone genital cutting, mostly in childhood, often without anesthesia or sterile technique. Pain, bleeding and infection are immediate consequences. Doctors suspect that the procedure is also linked to a risk of urinary infection.  The procedure varies in severity, from a full excision of the clitoris and labia, to a lesser procedure in which only the former is removed."  This stuff is still going on in Africa and especially Muslim countries and even in Western nations Muslim immigrants often continue this clandestinely.  What a disaster.

Some guys have all the luck.  Here is the author Steve Leather with his lovely Koong at Big Dogs in Nana Plaza.  Not only can he make a living as a writer but he also gets the prettiest girls.  Good thing I'm not the jealous type.  Steve's non-fiction book on a farang detective in Thailand should be out soon.



I was explaining to a Thai girl the other day about how when I was studying Chinese we used to like to have a Chinese girlfriend so that, in effect, we had a "Walking dictionary."  I mentioned this because I knew she was studying English and had a farang boyfriend.  I asked if he was her walking dictionary and she immediately said: "No, he's my walking ATM machine."  Oh yeah.  That's one lady who has her priorities straight.

There are world issues such as hunger, Muslim fanaticism, nuclear weapons that must be discussed from time to time and then there are the really urgent issues: The fact that Starbucks coffee houses in Thailand have no runoff bin for coffee when the cups have been filled too full.  You see, I remember when I lived in Manhattan Starbucks did in fact have special bins or whatever they are called so that if you add milk and sugar and the coffee starts to overflow you could empty some into the bin.  They don't have those here so when they give me the coffee it is too full, especially when sugar and milk are added, and it spills on the way to my seat.  And while I'm discussing such urgent issues, why doesn't Starbuck have sugar substitute such as Equal or Sweet and Low as well as the sugar?

Don't you just love the low season in the nightlife areas of town?  Some of the girls are getting desperate enough to want to go with me.  I'm getting more and more phone calls and e-mails from Entertainment Providers who miss me.  I mentioned one before who took my pillow and hogged the covers.  I just had one who took my side of the bed!  When I got out of the shower I found her asleep there so I had to sleep next to the wall.  But I have water, sleeping pills, condoms, books, eyeshade and lots of good stuff in the drawer on my side of the bed.  I can't fall asleep if I'm not on my regular side of the bed.  I may have to put up a sign.

Yep, the royal barge ceremony sure was great; too bad I didn't get to see it.  I took a friend of mine from the States and we got off the Skytrain near Patpong where I figured I might get a taxi to brave the traffic jams.  The first one wouldn't go near the river, second was going off duty; third said OK he would get us as close to the river as possible but then we would have to walk.  So he took us to the Thonburi side of the river and dropped us off where thousands of Thais were waiting.  We figured they must know what they were doing, right?  Wrong.  After waiting three hours in the heat and being jostled by crowds a few barges appeared and then stopped way over on the Bangkok side of the river.  It was the finish line.  The boats never passed by us and we only saw a few barges at a distance.  I told my friend from New York that it was OK we learned a lot for next time.  She said that for her there wouldn't be a next time.  Sigh...

China has kowtowed to Christian fanatics and pulled the movie The Da Vinci Code from the theaters.  Christian fanatics in China claimed it hurt "social stability."  There is nothing more dangerous in the nuclear age than religious fanatics of any stripe.

As anyone living in Thailand knows, there is often a two-tier pricing system based on race: cheap for Thais, expensive for foreigners.  This is a blatantly racist policy and would never be allowed in Western countries; and yet a few foreigners living in Thailand using tortuous logic and very convoluted reasoning, attempt to defend the practice.  I love Thailand but I don't patronize the Thais; when I think they are wrong I say so.  So I wrote this letter to the Nation.  (Which never printed it.)

I must disagree with those who feel that the racist pricing of tourist attractions in Thailand is simply a matter of Capitalism's take it or leave it policies.  When people travel thousands of miles to visit Thailand and then find they must either pay far more than locals or else not go to the attractions, it turns off anyone who detests racism.  This racist policy is most abominable in the Thai banking system where several of the largest banks do not allow foreigners to gain interest on savings accounts.  Those Thais working where I bank described the system as horrible but the orders come from the fat cats who set up the system.  Middle class Thais also dislike the racist system at tourist attractions and have told me they wouldn't want to face such discrimination against them when they travel abroad.  Racism is racism and cannot be excused on the grounds of either income differences or the cost of tourist sites in foreign countries or dismissed as simply the way Capitalism works.

From the Mail Bag

Don't know where you got my email address from, but I had a good half hour's fun and amusement looking at your web-site mate. You are obviously a very intelligent and humorous American person, and I shall look for updates to your web-site. But I'm one of those sad individuals who comes to the land of smiles 3 times a year TO GET LAID! I'm back again July 1st and staying at the Nana hotel, (but only for 2 nights) after which I'm off to Chiangmai with my beloved Nong.  Peter

Dear Peter,

Quite a coincidence.  Because I got your name from a lovely lady in Chiang Mai named Nong right after we made love.

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Like to know more in depth about what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try this great site:


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Bangkok's weather report.




A great site for listening to Thai Morlan music and other folk music of Southeast Asia.




A bit of black leather never hurts.  But she does.


Our Lady in Black




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Maps of all the provinces of Thailand


Links You Might Not Enjoy

T-Shirt Hell: for lovers of very black humor only.


Politically incorrect rants and raves from Uncle Fred.


Girlfriends looking for Taliban boyfriends.

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Do you have a product or service you would like to advertise on this website? You can, you know. In fact, you don’t have to have a product or service at all; you can just send me money. Or perhaps you would like me to plug a product or service that you are involved in? Sure, just send me cash. Be sure, however, to mark the outside envelope:

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Absolutely No Bribe Enclosed

Got feedback to this column?  Got information on Thailand you would like to share?  Happy as a dung beetle to be living in Paradise?  Been ripped off?  Just write me.




Last week's photograph was taken on the sixth floor balcony of Bumrungrad Hospital, a very beautiful building-long walk with trees, gazebos, fountains, etc.  Nobody got it so I assume I am the only one who occasionally stops in hospitals to hit on nurses.  So for 9,000 baht in food and drink (assuming you are the first with the correct answer and you live in Bangkok or soon will be here), where was this photograph in Bangkok taken?  Let's make it easy: it is a hotel.  Name the hotel and the road it is on.  In fact, I will give you two chances.  Either name the hotel and road or give me the title and author this quote is from: "At five o'clock that morning reveille was sounded, as usual, by the blows of a hammer on a length of rail hanging up near the staff quarters."  That is the opening sentence and it is a famous book and famous author.  Second Prize is one of my books and 500 baht worth of books at Dasa Books.  Third prize is Diddly Squat Nadazip.

That's all for this fortnightly column.  Drop by again.  Explore the rest of the website.  Meanwhile, as the girls used to tell me during the 1960's: "I no lie you, GI, you number one!"  And, remember: nothing says goodbye like a bullet. 

Dean Barrett can be flamed at:

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