Thailand Nightlife Roundup

Welcome to my website.  Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which might not appear elsewhere.  And to have some fun.

Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that. So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)

There is a contest every two weeks when this column appears and the first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly will receive vouchers worth at least 3,000 baht in food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, The Old Dutch, Electric Blue, The Big Mango, PJ's Steak & Rib Grill, and Bourbon Street Cafe. The prizes will build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get quite interesting.  It will double to 6,000 and, if still no winner, to 9,000, etc.  Second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt.  And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers, waitresses and hostesses).

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Notice: Extensive laboratory testing has proved the following: This column is an excellent source of whole grain and fiber.  Absolutely no MSG is used in the creation of this column.  Only the most pure strains of bymedrinknamide and pay4playcloride are used as ingredients.  Only women fed with the purest of antitoxins are photographed for this column.  Read on with the confidence of knowing you and your loved ones are starting the day the healthy way.

The lovely Boi inside the cozy Tavern Pub, Sukhumvit soi 4.  Scott knows how to hire!  Boi oh Boi!

 

 

 

The photographs above are thanks to the Odnac Group who took them in the early to mid-1960's.  They are photographs of Seri Court, Patiphat Road, Saphankwai (Buffalo Bridge), Bangkok.  I first arrived at Seri Court in March of 1966 and stayed in a building at Seri Court which was not yet built when these pictures were taken.  But if you click on them you can see some of the rest of the city in that area, beautiful neighborhoods, peaceful and flat.  Seri Court, a compound for American enlisted men, commanded by a Colonel, eventually closed and it became a love hotel, rong ram man rood (curtain hotel), and I visited it once about 6 years ago when it had changed.  I suppose you could also call it a jing reed motel, a "no tell" establishment, with rooms rented by the hour.  I have heard that Koreans have bought it and are, or already have, leveled it in preparation to put up luxury flats but I haven't been out there to confirm this.  As you might have guessed, the characters in Memoirs of a Bangkok Warrior were based on life around Seri Court in the 1960's.  Many things have changed for the better in Thailand and I hate to be one of those you-should-have-been-here yesterday types; but it is true some of the beautiful lanes with Thai houses and tree-lined klongs should never have been destroyed.  (Just as New York City realized too late that razing Penn Station was not a good idea.)

 

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How you appear to Thai bargirls during the high season:

 

 

How you appear to Thai bargirls during the low season:

 

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The entrance to another slooow night at Nana Plaza.  But click on the left photograph and look at the cutie on the right.  She has a pink cap, pink hair ornament, pink Happy Hours 8 lettering on her shirt and pink and black boots.  What a stylish young lady! Rumors of bars and a hotel closing in Pattaya.  Claims by bar owners that business is the worst they've ever seen it.  Certainly the dancers know that and make no bones about it.  If you ain't a hansum man in Bangkok now, you never will be.

Cool story: I have two policeman friends, both from North Carolina.  Don't ask me how that happened but it did.  Anyway, one of them told me the story about the other.  It seems after he married a Thai woman she was lonely in the town they were living in in NC.  So he tried every way he could to find some kind of support group for her.  Nothing worked, be it in person or on the internet.  Then one night he arrested a guy for drunkenness and when he went through the guy's wallet for ID, he found a photo of the drunk guy with a Thai woman.  The Thai woman was his (the drunkard's) wife and as it turned out she was in a support group of over 100 Thai women within a 20-mile radius of where they were.  And so it came to pass that the cop and the guy saw more of each other and of course the cop's wife also joined the group.  Sometimes, life is stranger than fiction.

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One more letter to the editor local papers refused to print:

Dear Sir, 

The problem with Eric Bahrt and other health fanatics is that they seem unable to state their case and leave it to us to make our own decisions.  I have no doubt that the day will come when not only cigarettes will be off the shelves and out of sight but also meat and milk and Laffey Taffey and Twizzlers and Munchos and Zonkers and Crazy Dips and Pinwheels and Hohos and DingDongs and Devil Dogs and Zingers and Ring Dings and Yodels and Funny Bones and Snowballs and Blue Bunny's fat free brownie fudge fantasy frozen yoghurt and just about every other junkfood that makes eating worthwhile.  My friends and I dread the day that Eric and others of his persuasion turn their attention to Viagra and declare it dangerous and it too disappears from the shelves.  For some of us that would be (to quote Churchill out of context) a disaster of the first magnitude.  Dean Barrett

 

Sometimes it is hard to tell if Soi Cowboy is a nightlife area or a staging ground for an elephant roundup.  And these were definitely not small elephants.  When I fed one, he was in such a hurry that he gobbled up the bananas while still in the plastic bag.  Hmmm, I wonder if they recycle the bags?  And in case you haven't noticed, business is definitely slow on Cowboy as well as everywhere else.

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Khun Leigh's Corner

Click to enlarge

Khun Leigh is a savvy local expat who keeps in shape by hitting most of the bars of Nana Plaza as often as possible.  From his vast experience, he will enlighten and entertain us with his recollections of the bar scene be they humorous, tragic or somewhere in between.

I have an English friend in Bangkok who has gotten himself into quite a mess.  This guy has the same “disconnect” that I see in so many western men in Thailand.  Let me explain what I mean by “disconnect.”  When I meet educated, successful men from Asia, Latin America, Africa, or anywhere other than Europe, North America,  Australia etc., these guys always know that they have value and any woman who wants to be with them better be someone very special.  They are right.  Everywhere on this planet women are seeking men who are intelligent, educated, and successful and know how to treat a lady with respect.  Any man with these qualities can pick and choose from all the available women regardless of where he happens to be residing.  If he happens to be living in Southeast Asia, he will be easily in the top 1% of all available men.  Somehow the men who come from the western world just haven’t figured this out.  Countless times I see western men who are master of their domain in every other aspect of their life, but yet have chosen a low class uneducated gal for a girlfriend/wife and are allowing her to walk all over them.   Some of my western friends and ALL of my Asian friends are absolutely baffled by this phenomenon.  My English friend referred to earlier is a classic example.  Went to a fine university, executive for a top European company, flies all over the world teaching rich people what to do with their money—but yet he has a horrible Thai wife who treats him like a dog!  This is NOT a reflection on Thai women.  Most women will treat a man with disrespect once they have seen that he has no self respect.  Guys, no matter how horrible it may have been for you when you were living in Farangland, PLEASE  PLEASE never forget that you most likely possess most of the qualities women are seeking, and if you move to Thailand, be confident in the fact that you are desirable and sought after.

Last month I returned to Bangkok from my semi-annual trip to my little corner of Farangland.  One very simple chore will shed light on the difference between my social life here and my social life in the U.S.  When I landed in the U.S. I unpacked and put away all my belongings the very first night.  Well, I was back in Bangkok 2 ½ weeks before I got around to unpacking my bags!! Yep, my bags sat on the floor of my apartment that long before I got around to doing something about it. 

Speaking of the U.S., one interesting thing to note is the reaction of my best buddy there to the photos of a few of my favorite Thai ladies.  His first reaction was to say he believed they were all professional models. I’m not sure how much of this is a reflection on how beautiful my lady friends are, and how much is a reflection on how ugly the ladies are in my hometown. His second reaction was to say he had never seen such a big smile on my face as I had in the photos.  Now, how can I possibly explain to him why I never smile that big in the U.S.? He’ll just have to come here if he really wants to find out!

One dilemma in hanging out in the naughty bars so much is that most guys don’t know the proper term to use when referring to their favorite Entertainment Provider.  I think I just proved this point by stealing Dean’s term “Entertainment Provider!” Bar girl doesn’t work because some girls who work in bars don’t sleep with men for money.  Terms like prostitute etc. are offensive to most of the guys here as they have a negative connotation in Farangland, and really the ladies here give so much more of themselves than a normal prostitute would.  Girlfriend also is inaccurate as you certainly don’t pay your girlfriend to be your girlfriend.  Anyway, I was practicing my Thai by reading the Thai newspaper the other day and I found the perfect term.  Ladies in Thailand who entertain gentlemen for money use a term in Thai that translates as “sex worker.” That’s what they are! It isn’t negative (like prostitute) and not unrealistic (like girlfriend) it simply explains the nature of the work without being overly negative or positive. Now how do we get this term to catch on…?

One thing that really irritates me is all the bad press that Thailand gets in the western world.  There are so many negative stereotypes thrown around recklessly and with a certain amount of contempt.  Khun Leigh is here to dispel one of the most common negative stereotypes that Thailand often has to endure.  Countless times in the western press Thailand is referred to as a place where middle aged fat western men come for the singular purpose of soliciting sex.  Well, this sounds pretty good to me, but believe it or not this is considered to be a bad thing by many people. Anyway, this week I read in the Bangkok Post that Thailand has the highest percentage of female tourists of any country in Southeast Asia.  Yes, 41% of the visitors to Thailand are female.  To further illustrate my point, the other day I was at the Immigration Department in Bangkok and there was a really good cross section of visitors there.  Doesn’t matter if you are male or female, young or old, from Zimbabwe, Switzerland or Taiwan, you have to take care of the visa requirements.  Well, out of around 200 people there I believe I saw 6 western men.  Seldom have I seen such a wide variety of people.  I thought I was in the United Nations!!

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WHY I HATE HEALTHNAZIS

TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THE PICTURES ABOVE.  A PHOTOGRAPH OF JACKSON POLLACK PAINTING AT LEFT AND THE SAME PHOTOGRAPH USED AS THE BASIS FOR A POSTAGE STAMP.  NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT?  YOU GUESSED IT!  HEALTHNAZIS HAVE REMOVED THE CIGARETTE FROM HIS MOUTH.  IN OTHER WORDS, BIG BROTHER KNOWS WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND IF IT MEANS ALTERING REALITY TO "PROTECT" YOU FROM SEEING WHAT BIG BROTHER DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SEE, THEN BIG BROTHER WILL DO IT.  AND IF YOU PUT ASSHOLES LIKE THESE IN THE POLITICAL ARENA, I GUARANTEE YOU THEY WILL TURN INTO DICTATORS AND PASS DRACONIAN LAWS, FOR YOUR OWN GOOD OF COURSE.  IN THE 1994 STAMP OF THE BLUES GUITARIST ROBERT JOHNSON, THE POST OFFICE DID EXACTLY THE SAME THING.  APPARENTLY, THE POST OFFICE HAS SUCCEEDED IN WEANING PEOPLE AWAY FROM THEIR HABITS - POSTHUMOUSLY.

Click on the photo to see the amazing decorations going up in Washington Square in preparation for my book signing at the Texas Lone Star Saloon on the 15th...Oh, I might have made a mistake.  This might actually be a photo of papier mache elephants forming an archway to welcome King Chulalongkorn back from his European visit in 1907.  My bad.

Please note that October 23rd is Chulalongkorn Day and there will be celebrations in the honor of this great King, Rama 5th.  It is also known as Nansuuchokdee Day (Book Lucky Day) in which it is considered very lucky to buy books, especially books on Thailand, especially by expatriate authors, especially by expatriate authors of a certain age....  So, OK, maybe I made up that second part, so, anyway, there should be such a day.  Why not start one?

I saw something really cool a few days ago.  A guy barfined a girl from Erotica Bar in Nana Plaza and he was one of very few customers in the bar and there was no business and the dancers were looking a tad glum.  But when it was time to leave with the guy the girl who had been barfined went along the first row of dancers and reached up to each one with her forefingers extended.  The dancers held their hands in a fist to receive the forefingers as she moved them quickly several times back and forth inside their fists and then moved on to the next dancer to do the same.  It was to bring them good luck in getting somebody to barfine them as well.  I have seen many kik ceremonies sometimes with water or sugar or garlands or whatever but this is the first time I saw this.  It was charming and sensual and suggestive and cute and bizarre and lascivious and childlike at the same time.  Only in Thailand!

A very short but hilarious advertisement.  Just click here and then click on the video: http://www.darlugo.com/?id=7&hp=1

Here we have Al Eberhardt sitting in the Madrid Bar, Patpong, on a Sunday afternoon.  Al has been in Bangkok for 41 years and counting.  Still doing his thing with Letter Ads, and still hanging about such notorious pubs as the Londoner and Renoir.  Very seldom does the door of a bar Al is in open whereby he doesn't know the guy coming in.  In the middle we have the (separated-at-birth?) boys, Jannik and Roland.  Ah, my kingdom for a hairpiece, as they might say.  And of course the lobby of the Oriental Hotel.  The Oriental's Lord Jim has a great buffet on Sunday for (only) 2,000 baht apiece.  Have you ever noticed how food tastes so much better when someone else is picking up the tab?

Here's another ad, very short but equally wise (and very funny) in its message: http://www.darlugo.com/?id=182&hp=1

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Chris Coles latest: A Thai shrine in a Bangkok Japanese karaoke bar. www.chriscolesgallery.com

 

Angelwitch Bangkok has two new dancers; one is really amazing in her sexy acrobatics.  And Noy's younger sister is there now bearing a striking resemblance to Noy.  The shows are expertly done but don't forget to notice one of the mamasans who often wais various directions in prayer, presumably for business.  Superstition, religion, business, fun and sex.  It's all there.  TIT.  This is Thailand.  And unlike Angelwitch Pattaya, there are no ladyboys in the show.  A lot of cute young ladies still dancing at Erotica.  The upstairs is usually closed as there are not enough customers so the dancers are only downstairs.  The referendum night at Nana was a very quiet night indeed.  More ladyboys around Nana Plaza than customers.  Meanwhile back at Soi Cowboy both Rawhide and Shebas have added a few new dancers, quite cute as well.  You heard it here first: The Old Irish Pub on soi Cowboy is set to become the Shadow go go bar!

I mentioned before that this column is writer-friendly and I will place covers of new books up if they are about Thailand from any writer and a short blurb about it; also I will be happy to announce signings for other writers in Thailand.  Another site that tries to aid writers is www.thailandstories.com.  They have a lot of stories on Thailand, some very good ones.  They are always looking for new stories and I hope you will give their site a try.

http://www.ClubElectricBlue.com

 

An article by Richard Bernstein on farang husbands and their Thai wives in northeast Thailand.

 

OK, admit it, there is one thing you really always wanted to see and hear but were afraid to ask for.  Well, here it is: Yes, that's right, Tiny Tim singing Earth Angel in the style of Elvis.  From bass to falsetto he is amazing.  No really, I mean it.  Very talented and very funny.  Wait'll he starts banging the stage (no, not that kind of banging).  I think Tiny Tim died about ten or 12 years ago.  If this doesn't bring a smile to your face, check your pulse, you must be dead.  Just click here: http://www.darlugo.com/?id=693

 

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Nakorn Pathom, the great Phra Pathom Chedi on a rainy day.  127 meters high.

 

 

I enjoyed watching and listening to a monk-teacher make the kids laugh as he was imitating the sounds of animals while showing a movie.  He seemed to really know how to keep their interest.  There are Buddhas in just about every pose imaginable.  You can make a one-day trip to the Bridge on the River Kwai, the cemetery, the museums, and stop at the great chedi on the way back to Bangkok.  It is an interesting temple to spend an hour or so exploring.  The city of Nakhon Pathom is situated on the overland route which for centuries linked India to Siam via the Three Pagodas Pass.  The Mons built the original chedi in the 10th century, and there have been many restorations and additions.  The ashes of King Vajiravudh are buried there. 

 

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I'D WALK A MILE FOR A CAMEL

or

The Camel that Broke the Sheila's Back

An Australian woman was killed by a pet camel given to her as a 60th birthday present after the animal apparently tried to have sex, police said Sunday.  The woman, whose name was not released, was killed Saturday at her family's sheep and cattle ranch near Mitchell, 600 kilometers (350 miles) west of the Queensland state capital Brisbane, state police Detective Senior Constable Craig Gregory said.

The 10-month-old male camel — weighing about 150 kilograms (330 pounds) — knocked the woman to the ground, lay on top of her, then exhibited what police suspect was mating behavior, Gregory said."  I'd say it's probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing," Gregory said, adding the camel almost suffocated the family's pet goat by straddling it on several occasions.

Camel expert Chris Hill said he had no doubt the camel's behavior was sexual.  Hill, who has offered camel rides to tourists for 20 years, said young camels are not aggressive, but can be dangerous if treated as pets without discipline.

The fate of the camel was not known.  The woman was given the camel in March as a birthday present from her husband and daughter. "She had a love of exotic pets," Gregory said.

 

And did you see where the head of Australia's Labor party has apologized for getting drunk and disorderly and asked to leave while visiting a strip club in Manhattan?  It was in Scores, a club I visited two or three times.  The women are very good looking but it is of course an expensive place and at least at one time was mob-connected.  There were mainly white chicks, but I spotted one Vietnamese and one Thai so I managed to corral the Thai.  She was cute as all get-out but alas as she put it "Here is same same Bangkok but not same same."  In other words, instead of 2,000 baht, think dollars.  (Better still, think flying to Bangkok for the money you would have to spend to get her out for all night.)  Anyway, pundits speculate that this straight-laced, church-going politician might have helped himself by showing another more hidden side of himself.  G-dye, mate.

 

 

During the six or seven years that Asia Books published books instead of just distributing them, they published a lot of gobbledygook but they also managed to publish some books which are really top notch.  And Byron Bales's The Family Business, is one of them.  Byron is an actual licensed investigator and has decades of experience in several countries.  I finally got around to reading his book and was amazed at the quality of planning, plotting and writing.  I mean it is really good.  The characters come to life, there are lots of betrayals, a beautiful women who gets her comeuppance, a street-smart, saavy, wise-cracking, no-nonsense, hardboiled insurance investigator who will remind you of some of the best creations of Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler.  The investigation takes the protagonist to Manila, Bangkok, New York and elsewhere and is always interesting and the story really flows.  It is genuinely one of those almost impossible to put down titles.  Do yourself a favor and get it.  You'll love it.  Byron can be reached at www.firstPI.com.

 

A cute bartender at the Tenderloin on Sukhumvit, soi 33.  Barry Shay is the new owner and while drinking some delicious wine I ran into none other than Baron Bonk.  He was in fine, convivial form, as always.

 

The Bangkok Post is becoming more and more biased and anti-Semitic in its news coverage and especially in its letters to the editor section.  The following is self-explanatory but they also recently allowed a letter to run by a nutcase who somehow linked mom and pop stores in Thailand vs. Tesco/Lotus to dumping on the Jews in Palestine.  A real fanatic.  If a letter is anti-Jewish or anti-Israel, it gets published in the Bangkok Post, although no reputable newspaper would run such virulent hate.  I did not expect the Nation to publish the letter below, but I sent it anyway and it was not published.  And, by the way, so many people wrote to the Post complaining about their allowing a blatantly anti-Semitic, neo-Nazi letter full of hate for Jews to be published they had to put up this notice on the 30th of August: 

 

EDITOR'S NOTE: We have received numerous letters and complaints regarding the letter in question ("Killing competition" by Alan Kramer, Aug 30). While Postbag is intended as an open and free forum for readers to express their views, inflammatory, racist or disingenuous remarks should not and will not be tolerated. We regret any distress that this incident may have caused. (What liars!  They allow inflammatory, racist and disingenuous remarks in the Muslim fanatic's column every other Sunday!  They also violated their own rules by allowing a columnist to respond to a letter in the letters-to-the-editor column.  Anyway, here's my letter)

 

 

Dear Sir, The other night there was a lecture at the Foreign Correspondents Club of Thailand by Professor Barry Rubin entitled "Is the Middle East a Threat to Asia?"  As you might have guessed, the anti-Israel leftists were out in force shouting and rudely demanding to talk (rather than ask questions) and attempting to hijack the speech about the Middle East in Asia to a diatribe about Israel and the Palestinians.  The moderator and the vast majority of people there were appalled at the lack of manners on the part of three or four individuals and the moderator even threatened to have one escorted out.             The Muslim columnist at the Bangkok Post wrote up a very distorted report of the event.  Even more ludicrous than his distortion of the facts was his description of a speech at the FCCT in Thailand as being part of some conspiracy "to prepare global public opinion for an attack on Iran."  But anyone who has read Imtiaz Muqbil knows that distortion, exaggeration and misrepresentation is what he specializes in.

And so I wrote to the Bangkok Post to correct the biased viewpoint, using my own name, and pointing out that I had been there.  Not surprisingly, the Bangkok Post refused to print it but did go on to allow their Muslim columnist to give a "rebuttal" in the letters column to a letter written by the FCCT.

The Bangkok Post encourages people to use their own name when writing letters which I do and yet my letter was not printed but a letter with the (somewhat Orwellian) pseudonym "friend of Clarity, Credibility and Transparency" agreeing with their Muslim columnist was.  No doubt the "friend of Clarity, Credibility and Transparency" was one of those who caused the problems during the speech as he also claimed to have been there; but for reasons best known to himself did not have the courage to sign his own name.  

Everyone in Thailand watched in disgust when the Bangkok Post kowtowed to Taksin and so I do not expect integrity or courage or objectivity from the Post, but I do hope you will print this letter so that people will know that those in charge of letters to the Bangkok Post do not offer a level playing field, particularly when a letter disagrees with their Muslim columnist's point of view.

It is obvious that if one wishes to know what is happening in Thailand, one should read the Nation. Dean Barrett

 

 

Those of you who know the ebullient Dave the Rave will join me in wishing him heartfelt condolences and all the best while he is in England as his father recently passed away. 

 

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Mail Bag

THE EXCITING CONCLUSION OF THE DEAN & BARBIE LETTERS!

Dear Pedophile,
Your condescending letter leaves little to the imagination.  You accuse people of religion and attitudes which you make judgments upon knowing little or nothing about them. Your insinuations are sooooo "LIBERAL WHITE TRASH" Yeah, I do my part... so I can fuck up the rest of the world.
1.  If anyone should be offended by this crap you send out, it should be and will be by me!  When you put yourself out there and send me shit (BTW, I don't even know you) you will be subject to ridicule from the real world and not your warped fantasy world of beautiful asian nymphs ever ready to do disgusting things to you so that you can lie to yourself and say that you have it when you REALLLY don't. What you REALLY do have is no hope of ever having a real conversation or relationship with anyone over the age of 12.  (hmmm..maybe that's your IQ... so in that case you're doing very well. )

2.. Again look in the mirror... it is "White men" or "Farang" who have poisoned everything they touch in Southeast Asia. You are one of them and doing your part to make it a better place to be exploited. Keep up with the hellful job! But do not put down the rest of your people by saying "white savior". Maybe it's the rest of the global community who needs to reexamine and is trying to clean up the mess that white farang assholes like you make in order to it a better place.

3. You hate religion. Why? Because it makes you look in the mirror and you REALLY don't like what you see. You try to lie your way out of it, but the mirror never lies.... you are what you are and I wish you luck in all that you corrupt and defile. I will not waste anymore time with this dribble. I feel sorry for you, but I feel more sorry for the poor kids who because of economic strive will do what they have to in order to survive. Building a pool....giving toys...ice cream  hmm... they really need a pool... Typical American thought to priority... "yeah.. they are starving and destitute.. Yeah let's give them a pool!" ice cream.. "yeah, lets make them fat like my fat white American ex wife who really fucked me up mentally so I am here to find a  young uneducated submissive child...yeah.. she won't argue with me... I am the SUPER FARANG...LOTS OF MONEY AND LOTS OF SEX".  You are really pathetic...
These kids need education and mentors and a reason to live a better life.

4. Does Amnesty International know you are a dirty old fart? LOL
If you truly believe what you do and what you are is acceptable, then I DARE you to send that picture of your pathetic self to your family and the rest of the world including AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL, UNICEF, SAVE THE CHILDREN, UNESCO etc. You won't do it.... you won't b/c you know it is wrong... LOOK IN THE MIRROR!

5. Bitter... you have no idea what it is to live a bitter life. Life is on big happy endless orgy for you and everyone like you. keep living in that world.... Just don't send me anymore of your unsolicited crap.

PS.... I am ASIAN and proud of it!!

ALL THE BEST,
BARBIE

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Hi Barbie, Sweetie, thanks for yours.  You slay me, you really do.  You are very funny.  Unintentionally, of course, but hilarious, nonetheless.  I have been called many things in my life, but never "liberal white trash."  Also, I confess I cannot quite grasp your logic.  In my previous letter I said that as far as I was concerned you can hang men who muck about with children, and yet your response began with "Dear Pedophile."  What's up with that, sweetie?  And, again, you say enough of this "dribble" which I interpret to mean "drivel" but obviously neither logic nor grammar are your strong points.  Perhaps English is not your first language?

I have in fact had conversations with people over 12 but they use big words like you do and I get all perplexed and disoriented.  "It is white men who have poisoned everything they touch in Southeast Asia!"  I love it.  Hey, Barbie, good thing you don't paint reality with a big, broad brush replete with generalizations born out of hatred for men, right? 

No, Barbie, I don't like religion because religions make people feel guilty, steal their money, dictate what they should do, cause wars, create fanatics, and are built on lies and hypocrisy, tribal myths and fairy tales to give power and riches to the elite of the religion, almost always men.  Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson didn't have many nice things to say about religion, either, so I am in good company.

Wrong again, Barbie, the kids at Dr. Pierre's orphanage were not destitute or starving and unlike yourself we had no agenda of our own and so we listened to what the heads of the orphanage said their needs were.  It was too hot out for the kids to play outside during the day and they were cooped up inside so she thought a wading pool with overhead shelter plus a building for a cafeteria and classes would be the best for the kids.  So that is what we (83rd Radio Research & Special Operations Unit) (white men who poison everything in your words) gave them.  But I am not surprised that a smug feminazi like you would denigrate and belittle the efforts of others. 

Nope, I wasn't married to a fat farang; I was married to a Hong Kong Chinese who was never fat.  Inasmuch as you are also Chinese (well, Chinese-American), and inasmuch as the League of International Jurists says that China killed one million Tibetans and now imprisons hundreds if not thousands of dissidents, religious and otherwise, shouldn't you be tromping your fat ass around Tibet, making amends for what your people did, rather than playing Godmother in Cambodia and sending people off to recapture a girl who tried to get away from you and your group?  (Young girls just wanna have fun, Barbie, remember the song?  But kidnapping is illegal, even in Cambodia, no?) But kids do need education; as opposed to indoctrination from Christians from the west with agendas and who dictate to them what to wear and how to wear it and even how they should wear their makeup.

Actually, Barbie, it is you who should look in the mirror.  You are, to put it politely, more than a few pounds overweight, and you are indeed a bitter, humorless, arrogant, puritanical, know-it-all feminazi who probably does as much harm in Cambodia as good. 

As for my family knowing about the picture, not only do they know and like it but my 96-year-old stepfather loves showing my photobook, Thailand: Land of Beautiful Women to his neighbors in Florida.  Not everyone in the world is up-tight and anal-retentive, Barbie.  And if you send me the addresses of the organizations you mentioned, I will be happy to send them the picture of myself and the lovely twins.  Although, as I am sure you know, both UN organizations and NGO's have had their own sex scandals in Cambodia and elsewhere, right, Barb?  So I doubt that anyone working in those organizations would be shocked by seeing me with Asian women much older than they themselves normally take to bed.  But I am sure you are busy telling people what to do and how to do it so I shall let you return to your, um, life.

Dean Barrett (western scum) (horny old man) (pedophile) (dirty old fart) (liberal white trash) (white farang asshole)

P.S. Dori's first name isn't "Hunky," is it?

................................

Dean, I will be watching as the fire builds between you and the virago. In my opinion, she is speaking out of her pain and since you are injuring no one, however much hurt she has in her own life, she is in the wrong to criticize you in your life. You have her dead to rights when you say"..people who are happy in their lives and relationships do not worry about the relationships of others." Maybe you can ask her to Thailand and find a nice looking Asian man who is a little short of money to be her escort as they gallivant around the countryside. Be of good cheer. Regards,  G. L.

 

 

Glenn, I realize the lady has issues; I just hope she doesn't call too many guys in Cambodia a pedophile.  People have been blown away there for less.  And I have to wonder if a woman with so much hatred inside her can really do anyone any good in Cambodia or anywhere else.  In the movie version of The World of Suzie Wong, William Holden says he is pushing 40 and Suzie isn't even 20.  God knows how upset Barbie would be over that age difference; she would probably call Holden a pedophile too.

 

.....................

     Hi Dean,  I read your last newsletter and thought the Dean and Barbie stuff was great. The thought occurs to me that many people, like me, who grew up in the west have a mindset that might be full of shit. A book I enjoyed, maybe four years ago, was "Bangkok 8",and as I recall the author made some points that might be unsettling to some folks in the American Bible Belt but who is to say that fucking is bad? Moreover, who is to say that fucking to make a living is bad? (And whatever that harridan says to the contrary, many of the world's good looking gals-not just in Thailand-make a damned good living.) I have spent some time with "working ladies", treated them nicely and they treated me the same. After making friends with them, I asked them questions. Some are women who hide what they are doing from their families but they want money to start a business with, others are probably not thinking about anything but they don't mind the life because it is not such hard work, the money is good and they get to do what they might be doing anyhow, for free.  Dean, I will give you a lot of credit. You are a brave man, to speak out in public the way you do requires cojones.  Roger S.

 

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Thanks, Roger.  But I'm afraid Barbie's criticism has hurt me deep inside where I live and I probably won't get much sleep tonight.  Oh, wait a minute, I almost forgot - the twins are coming over again tonight, so I won't be getting much sleep, anyway, so that's OK then.  Cheers!

 

.....................

 

Dear Dean,  (In your latest half-monthly) a masterpiece of a tremendously effective job replying to the "feminazi" and her goody-goody eunuch. Just had to forward it onto a couple of friends, one married to a younger Korean and one to a much younger Filipina, titling it an expat doing a job on a feminazi. Just wanted to tell you it's greatly appreciated.

Several years back in Saigon (the preferred name oft hose actually living there, the vanquished), there was a goody-goody NGO foreigner woman on a crusade against Westerners exploiting Vietnam's young women.

Not a shred of a peep out of her since, for subsequently the lady Vietnamese Minister of Social
Affairs, responsible for confronting "social vices," in a well-publicized statement, noted that the problem of the exploitation of Vietnam's young women came from corrupt Party officials.

I notice that these NGO women in Vietnam (and Thailand) don't ever go for the source of the problem when it comes to the exploitation of their young women, Party officials in the case of Vietnam. For here's what would happen: In the case of Vietnam (no doubt Thailand too), the system would be patient -they'd wait for her visa-extension time. And she'd be out of the country. Yes, none of these goody-goodies have any of the courage to go after the real problem in the subject regard - the highly-placed local men. Figuratively, they have balls the size of jelly beans.  Sincerely,  Lewis Hitchcock 

 

Lewis, Thanks for yours.  I agree.  For every case of a Gary Glitter or other Western pedophile there are hundreds of cases of girls being molested by an uncle or some other family member or as you say by highly placed local men.  It seems much easier to get the Thais angry at the few Western pedophiles who show up rather than admit what is going on in their own neighborhoods, if not their own families.  And of course no one in Thailand wants to talk about how hundreds of mothers willingly sell their kids or send them off in a career of sex for money.  Good article in the Nation recently by Steve Suphan on this subject.  I love Thailand but accepting responsibility is not one of the strong points of the Thais.  Always remember what I have come up against many times in Asia, especially in Thailand: DRBTF (Deny reality; blame the farang).

 

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I howled laughing at your response to the leg shaver barbie and her wanker follower.  Good work Dean and, The comments, True comments, about the Muslims who started the whole thing more than 1000 years ago. I wonder how things would have been if that Constantine Roman Prik wouldn't have brought the Judea Christian thing to Britain, and we would still be in touch with out real selves in touch with the earth and nature spirits?

This e mail is a little enchanted by the grape, although I wish it was enchanted by a Beer Singh and an enchanting thai bar girl from the 70's sat on my lap, Those were the days, My kingdom for a time machine, or, an air flight to paradise, and a load of spending money, I must get a new charity going, The send steve to bangkok fund, Looking forward to your next column, Steve.

 

Steve, no problem if your letter is a little enchanted by the grape as my columns usually are as well.

 

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Dear Dean--Sorry I won't be able to make it to the book signing, but thanks for putting together a wonderful, funny website that reminds me why I intend to return permanently.  Your bar scene glossary about sums it up--"don't ever expect to really understand what's going on in Thailand."  And yet isn't it sanuk trying... 

Watching my dad grow old here is a shocking reminder of what I've known ever since I was stationed at Ubon RTAFB in 1970-71--I'm truly at home in Thailand and will never "readjust" to what people here call "society." 

I may move slowly, but I will buy you that beer some day.  I bought Joe Cummings a Singha while his band was on break up in Chieng Mai last summer.  It will be fun deciding whether to settle down in Bangkok or Chieng Mai.  You remind me of how much I've enjoyed my visits to the Foreign Correspondents Club (even late at night when it was only the Thai staff having a birthday party...)  Joe told me about the Writers' Cafe, which still beckons (I was getting an ESL certificate at AUA and working my butt off right up to the day my visa ran out and I had to fly home...) 

Your article on travel photography was terrific.  I spent twenty-five years as a "cameraman" in Hollywood (in reality as a focus puller and a camera operator, mostly on sitcoms), and yet it was the travel photography I did on my own that brought me joy.  Given that I'm essentially a shy person, it opened a lot of doors for me in my travels that I wouldn't have dared open otherwise.  Terrence Harkin

 

 

Thanks for yours, Terrence, and where is the Writers' Cafe and are drinks at a discount for writers there or what?

 

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Hi Dean  Your website is interesting as usual. 
 
"'And look at cute little Khun Golf in the fifth picture from the left.  She is 22 but looks about 12.  I've always wanted to take her to the States because I know that when we're on the plane the Captain will radio ahead and by the time we land the police will have surrounded the plane and I'll be dragged off as a pedophile despite explanations and documents.  "But, but, officer, she's 22!  Thai girls often look a lot younger than they are!"  "Yeah, right, pervert, just keep moving!"'
 
It just reminds me of Baccara, where all the women look young although they are over 18.  It goes along with trying to appeal to the Japanese. Apropos of this, have you heard of the Japanese female vocalist Yuki.  She looks like a child and sounds like a child.  I don't know if youtube works in Thailand, but the following is a video of her song Joy that came out recently.  I do not know if you like the song, but she looks young. 

  
http://youtube.com/watch?v=U59vEZNealk  Similarly, in the following video Hummingbird, she looks like a 12 year old child prostitute.   http://youtube.com/watch?v=TqmDMfzCfiI&mode=related&search=.  The only thing is, she was born in 1972 (30s), is married, and has a child.  Many asian, no cross out, I mean oriental women look younger than they are.  I attached a picture of her in case youtube does not work. 
 
I thought I would finish a thought from the email you quoted:  "I have seen western scum like you prey on young women" and isn't it absolutely glorious!  Just the thought of such a thing puts a smile on my face.  You are my hero and you make me think there is hope for the rest of us, especially and including me.   
 
Congrats on the new book. I wish I could make your book signing, but alas, I am stuck in the land of Femnazis.  Cheers,  Steven   

 

 

Steve, Thanks for yours.  I can't say I ever heard of Yuki but she sure does look younger than 35!  Wow!  This being Thailand we cannot get Youtube as it is banned but of course we can get it simply by going through such proxies as www.unblockyoutube.tv and www.proxydoll.com. And while www.YouTube.com is banned www.youporn.com is not banned.  Go into the Japanese sections of the latter and ask yourself if maybe the Japanese win the gold medal when it comes to being kinky!  I'm not even in the same league!  Cheers!  Youtube is now unbanned in Thailand.  But keep such proxy sites handy to see other banned sites.

 

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Links You Might Enjoy

A video of a five-minute walk down Soi Cowboy.  Click here and then click "preview videos."

http://www.pbar.info/videos.html

 

Like to check out some bars in Thailand?  Try

http://www.bangkokbarfun.com.

Like to know what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try http://www.bangkokgigguide.com.

Like to know more in depth about what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try this great site:

http://www.bangkokjungle.com.

 

Tired of shoveling snow?  Check out Bangkok's sunshine.

 

Bangkok's weather report.

 

 

 

A great site for listening to Thai Morlan music and other folk music of Southeast Asia.

 

www.monsoon-country.org

 

 

 

A bit of black leather never hurts.  But she does.

 

Our Lady in Black

 

 

 

Like to learn a bit about retiring in Asia?

 

http://www.retiredexpat.com

 

 

 

Maps of all the provinces of Thailand

 

http://www.thailand-guide.org/maps/index.htm

 

 

 

Contact Direct Line for Travel Insurance in the UK

 

 

 

Links You Might Not Enjoy

T-Shirt Hell: for lovers of very black humor only. 

http://www.tshirthell.com.

 

Politically incorrect rants and raves from Uncle Fred.

http://www.fredoneverything.net

 

Girlfriends looking for Taliban boyfriends.

Taliban Singles Dating Page

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Do you have a product or service you would like to advertise on this website? You can, you know. In fact, you don’t have to have a product or service at all; you can just send me money. Or perhaps you would like me to plug a product or service that you are involved in? Sure, just send me cash. Be sure, however, to mark the outside envelope:

“Birthday money for Dean Barrett –

Absolutely No Bribe Enclosed

Got feedback to this column?  Got information on Thailand you would like to share?  Happy as a dung beetle to be living in Paradise?  Been ripped off?  Just write me.

 

*********************

So enter and win 3,000 baht in food and drink vouchers, second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt, courtesy of Peter, PJ and Jason, third prize the usual Nada diddly-squat. As for last column's contest this is the winner's response less than three hours after I put up the column:

Dean, I really want to win this one! This is one of my 5 favorite movies of all time and made me fall in love with Thailand........
 
1. He fired the mortars to keep his men from being captured alive
2. The movie was filmed in Ceylon
3. Alec Guinness , dying, falls on the detonator and blows up the bridge
4. Although the other gentlemen are striking examples of manly beauty, Dean Barrett wins the hansum man title hands down.

I'm especially pleased that he got the last question right as there were a few who actually named William Holden (but had other questions wrong as well).  This column's prize is worth 3,000 baht in food and drink vouchers.  Just be the first to tell me where the picture at right was taken.  You do not have to give me the name of the hansum man in the picture or the type of buffalo that is on the wall.  An easy one!!

 

Attached Image

 

 

That's all for this fortnightly column.  Drop by again.  Explore the rest of the website.  Meanwhile, as the girls used to tell me during the 1960's: "I no lie you, GI, I love you long time; you number one!"  And, remember: nothing says goodbye like a bullet.  And the more people I meet the more bullets I need.

Dean Barrett can be flamed at: deanbarr@loxinfo.co.th

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More news on "The Religion of Peace"

 

An American tries to save the life of an Iraqi girl caught in a bomb blast by Al-Qaeda.

 

An accused informer is dragged about and beaten to death by Muslims; no trial of course.

 

A Muslim mother's idea of child care: Suicide-bomb training.

 

 

 

The Religion of Peace visits New York's World Trade Center.

 

 

 

The religion of peace visits Northern Iraq killing over 500 people in car bombs

 

 

 

The author, Taslima Nasrin, says Muslim men do not respect women enough, so Muslim men decide to beat sense into her.  Nuff said?

 

 

The "Religion of Peace" visits India (killing 36, injuring 60).

 

 

 

Look mom: Human hands and feet!  Great souvenirs!  Allah be praised!

 

From the "Holy" Koran:

5:33:  The punishment of those who wage war against Allah and His Messenger, and strive with might and main for mischief through the land is: execution, or crucifixion, or the cutting off of hands and feet from opposite sides, or exile from the land: that is their disgrace in this world, and a heavy punishment is theirs in the Hereafter; [Anyone who disbelieves in Islam and speaks against it is considered to be waging war against Allah and his messenger]

 

 

 

The Religion of Peace continues to visit southern Thailand

8/8/07 ( Pattani, Thailand ) -          Muslim gunmen storm a medical clinic and murder two workers.

8/8/07 ( Yala, Thailand ) -              A 66-year-old man is brutally shot to death by Islamists as he is walking in his orchard.

8/10/07 ( Narathiwat, Thailand ) - Two men are shot by Muslim radicals.  Only one survives.

8/21/07 ( Yala, Thailand )           -  A man is shot to death by Muslim terrorists while sitting in a tea shop.

8/25/07 ( Pattani, Thailand ) -       A Buddhist woman is cut down by an Islamic bomb attack in front of a grocery.

8/26/07 ( Yala, Thailand ) -           Two rubber tappers are murdered by Islamic radicals while on their way to work.

8/28/2007 ( Pattani, Thailand ) -   A 40-year-old Buddhist woman is shot to death by Muslim militants as she arrives for work at a rubber plantation.

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Decapitated heads left next to bomb in Thai south
 
NARATHIWAT, Thailand

Islamic separatists in southern Thailand dumped the heads of two decapitated men next to a roadside bomb in an upsurge of violence that has left 11 dead in three days, police said today.  Militants beheaded the elderly Buddhist men inside their homes yesterday and set the houses on fire.

Their heads were found later next to a bomb in the middle of a road several kilometres from their homes in Pattani province, police said. Police had to defuse the device before they were could retrieve the heads, police Lieutenant Colonel Prathom Thammasek told AFP.  Straits Times

 

 

In the Belly of the Beast: Muslim training camps are now found throughout America.

 

More Muslim hypocrisy:  Afghani Muslims recently demonstrated against America for giving them soccer balls with Allah's name on it but never demonstrated against the Taliban kidnapping of Koreans or the blowing up of the great Bamiyan Buddhas, or the killing of innocents in market places by insurgents and terrorists, etc., etc. etc.  Click below to see a short video of Thai police at the scene of four dead, murdered by Muslim terrorists in southern Thailand.

 

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=347_1188187980

 

 

 

 

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