Welcome to my website. Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which might not appear elsewhere. And to have some fun.
Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that. So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)
There is a contest every two weeks when this column appears and the first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly will receive vouchers worth at least 3,000 baht in food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, The Old Dutch, Electric Blue, The Big Mango, PJ's Steak & Rib Grill, and Bourbon Street Cafe. The prizes will build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get quite interesting. It will double to 6,000 and, if still no winner, to 9,000, etc. Second prize is one of my books. And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers, waitresses and hostesses).
Sawatdee pi mai, khrab! Wet enough for you?
The gentlemen in this photograph of soi Cowboy apparently do not approve of our lifestyle. I believe they are Jehovah's Witnesses or something like that. I have heard they also make appearances at Nana Plaza as well. But they look very well built, less like religious fanatics and more like Secret Service types protecting the president. Maybe they're actually deep cover CIA types watching for Muslim suicide bombers. Great cover! At least these religious fanatics are not interested in blowing anybody up.
A friend of mine walked into one of his favorite bars the other day and asked for one of his favorite girls. The bartender said she no longer had to work there or to work at all because she had "won the lottery." My friend asked how much she had won. The bartender laughed. "No, I mean she latched onto a farang customer and he bought her a house and car." Oh. So now you know what "winning the lottery" means in Thai.
The Muslim guy who drives the decrepit four-wheeler Subaru van out of my soi has some ornaments on a string hanging from the mirror. They are not religious, just a couple of hearts and a whistle. But as we approach each speed bump he reaches up and holds the ornaments otherwise they tap against the glass. So he drives with one hand while holding the ornaments. Inasmuch as these are not religious ornaments, and they are a pain in the ass for him, I would like to ask the question why doesn't he take the stupid things down? But I suppose that would be too logical a question. Anyway, I'm not sure how to say "tap against the glass" in Thai. Maybe there is no such expression in Thai. And did you know that although "sadeet" from sadist is used by the Thais for "sadism" there seems to be no word in Thai for "masochism." That explains a lot. And don't you wish you had known that before you married your Thai honey!
I was in the Tavern pub on Sukhumvit, soi 4, the other night and heard a story from a guy who was in a pattaya go go bar on Walking Street and noticed a cute dancer who also noticed him. Sure enough, as mushrooms follow a spring rain, he barfined her and took her back to his hotel. He went in to take a shower and heard the door slam. He ran out with a towel wrapped around him but she was fast and quickly gone. It was late and the bar was closed so he went to the Thai tourist police guy on Walking Street and complained that she had taken his mobile phone. The guys asked how much it cost and then said why not buy another one? So much for the tourist police so the next night he went back to the bar and told the owner or manager about it and said she was a Cambodian and her number was 84. The very uninterested farang owner mumbled something about having a lot of girls and when pressed said "I don't know!" I won't mention the bar's name because I believe it has been sold and there is a new owner now. But the guy admitted his mistake was that when he took her to his hotel lobby and the hotel was going to check her card, he said, "Never mind, it's OK, she's with me." That was a basic mistake. Don't you make it. Because even though a dancer from a bar rarely will take anything, it can happen and it can certainly happen with freelancers. So do let the hotel desk check the card, even photocopy it in case the girl runs a scam involving more than one card. Nuff said?
Juxtaposition of lifestyles. Above, folks live in air-conditioned splendor; below, in shacks on smelly water. Is it karma because of what they did in past lives? If so, in my next life I'll be lucky to find myself in such a shack.
My friend Leigh told me an interesting story, perhaps one that could only happen in Thailand. He made a date for dinner and a movie with a girl he had just met. She asked if she could bring a friend and he said yes. You know the routine: good girls have to bring a friend the first time to prove they are good girls and for safety sake. So they agreed to meet at a skytrain station. The doors opened and there she was with her friend next to her who smiled at Leigh as well. He greeted the girl and said to the friend, so you're going to have dinner with us and see a movie? She smiled and shyly said, "I guess so." So off they went to dinner and then a movie and then when it came time to go home and decide how many taxis they needed, Leigh asked the girl where her friend lived. The girl replied: "My friend? I thought she was your friend. I didn't bring a friend." It turned out each had thought the "friend" was with the other. Leigh asked the "friend" how she dared to go with them and not be afraid and she replied that he was a farang and well dressed and seemed nice so she agreed. Only in Thailand, kids, only in Thailand.
The photo at left is of the lovely curved hands of an employee of Lucky Lukes, Nana Plaza, which also has the "I Support Single Moms" shirt on sale at right. The other photos are also of Nana. God knows how much makeup is used in that square alone every evening. Carnival Bar on the third floor has the cool neons above on the outside. Unfortunately, inside the bar, all is boring. In years past this used to be one of the best bars at Nana. What caused the decline I do not know. I do know that the gentlemen who owns the Hollywood bars is having his problems with the boys in brown. Do not bite the hand that feeds you; and do not bite the hand you have to feed to stay in business. Bar owners should learn that expression and write it on a blackboard 100 times.
So many Thai men in the countryside leave their girlfriends as soon as they become pregnant. I wonder if the girls could turn that around and use it to their advantage: Whenever they want to get rid of their Thai boyfriend all they have to do is to tell him they are pregnant and zoooooom! dat boy gone! An American friend and I were discussing the way Thai women are treated by their men. Generalizing, of course, but nonetheless Thai society obviously favors the male. We were debating as to whether or not that is why such a high percentage of Thai women are bisexual, especially women at the lower end of the wage scale. That is, they need somebody close who really cares about them. What started this conversation was that my friend has a bargirl friend, not a girlfriend, whom he has known for a long time. She is living with her girlfriend in a tiny apartment. Both are go go dancers and each pays about 2,000 baht a month. Well, the male cousin of one of the girls moved to Bangkok and moved in with them. Not only does he do no housework; he also pays nothing. The girl explained to my American friend "he is a man; men don't pay." As if that weren't enough, the guy then takes a girlfriend and brings her into the tiny apartment as well. And because she is the girlfriend of the man, she doesn't have to pay anything toward the rent either. Yes, I know this "men are kings" attitude helps all of us farang guys as well; but sometimes it goes too far and the lack of justice involved makes me sick.
If you can't enjoy yourself on Soi Cowboy, then you're probably dead. But as you can see from a few of the pictures above, there are nights when there isn't too much for the girls to do but wait for hansum men to show up. The one in black looking real cute is a 27-year-old bartender with no boyfriend (so she says). Lots of folks still talk about how Shark bar has some of the best looking girls on Soi Cowboy. They are also aggressive and attempt to get you to buy them and another girl drinks. That is to say, they double-team you. Not to my taste.
I've written before about the negative aspects of Patpong Road: the ripoff upstairs bars, the crowds, the katoeys. But it is quite possible to have fun there as well. The latest branch of Lolitas is open for one and all, i.e., gentlemen of discriminating tastes, as is the nearby Barbar with its S&M paraphernalia. And of course the Madrid, started in 1969, is still there and is a great place to escape the heat and crowds and have a few beers with the ladies and locals inside. I have yet to fathom what the Pink Panther is up to. It is always empty when I go by. But they still have boxing matches at midnight. I hate to be one of these "You should have been here 25 years ago" guys, but when it comes to Patpong in its glory, you should have been here 25 years ago.
By the way, that pink ball in the picture of equipment at BarBar is a ball gag. I mention this because you may have read the following:
Israel has recalled its ambassador to El Salvador after he was found drunk and naked apart from bondage gear. Reports say he was able to identify himself to police only after a rubber ball had been removed from his mouth.
"We're talking about behaviour that is unbecoming of a diplomat," she said. Haaretz website reports that police found Mr Refael in the Israeli embassy compound where he had been found bound, gagged and naked apart from sado-masochistic sex accessories.
The man or rather the legend known as Polecat in Pattaya has decided to contribute regularly to this column. So be advised should you be planning a trip to that NeverNeverland by the Sea, you might wish to check the latest here first.
The Polecat and various of his slinky friends have been gobsmacked, flabbergasted and generally pushed off the pavement by the hordes of ethnic Russians swarming through the beachside thoroughfares and malls since the New Year. The Tourist Authority of Thailand (TAT) has done an amazing sell to the Siberian permafrost and the howling plains of Central Asia, jetlinering in to nearby U-Tapao airport barrel-chested Ivans and bleached-blonde Natashas (together with their gangly offspring) from Vladivostok to Volgograd, flush with roubles and shop-till-you-drop attitude. Local retailers are rubbing their hands with glee, and learning that a good day means never having to say do svidaniya.
Even in all-male groups they generally shun the farang bars, knocking back bottles of Stolichnaya in the hotel and then roaming the streets to pick fights with weedy little Thais and are surprised to wake up in Pattaya Memorial Hospital nursing multiple bruises, or worse. They've even got a bar, GALAXY in Walking Street, with its glass dance-booth overlooking the street boasting European girls! Drinks start at 200 baht and when you check your bin you'll find a menacing Boris standing over you saying, Galina sit with you one minute, now you give tip, 100 baht. Like the Uzbek hookers regularly pulled in on Walking Street, the hostesses here are said to ask three times the Thai going rate, which Asian men are apparently happy to pay.
The double-murder at dawn of the Russian girls on Jomtien Beach is still sending shock-waves. They've arrested a Thai guy, but the full story hasn't emerged yet, and doubtless never will. This is just the latest in a series of blows to Thailand's Land of Smiles image, and doom-mongers around the bars are saying Pattaya's finished, while estate agents grin glassily and point to 'high-end condos sprouting like toadstools, insisting business has never been better. Only time will tell, but now, with the city really beginning to cook in the summer heat, and holidaymakers returned home to work up their next wad, there are a lot of worried faces as the end-of-season book-keeping is done, and already the bar-owner talk is of retiring or moving on to Cambodia, Vietnam, wherever.
So with even the top go-go operators anxious about empty seats, itกฏs truly miraculous that the downmarket Thai-run Nui group (NUI'S CLUB 2, HOT GIRLS, NEW STAR, and the new, improving PINKY GIRL) has opened two new agogos in Soi 15 off Walking Street, apparently identical little red-lit bars with topless dancers in minikilts on 4 small platforms, and (except for 55 baht draught beer) trademark high drinks prices. Letกฏs see if I can distinguish between these siblings, on the basis of a single brief visit:
ก๑ ROCK GIRLS plays rock; FUN ROOM plays disco
ก๑ ROCK GIRLS has a guitar-themed dcor, with Strat table-tops; FUN ROOM has a playing-card-themed dcor
ก๑ ROCK GIRLS has a sexy nude dancer who's on something very good but won't give me prescription details; FUN ROOM has a tall attractive poleworker who, when I said, Do you like dancing? answered, No, but I do like cash.
ก๑ ROCK GIRLS regular dancers would be much more at home working in the market, or in the rice-fields they rock about as much as a lump of lead, and you may well think the mamasan is the sexiest thing in the bar (she is seriously hot!); FUN ROOM dancers are cuter and try for a raunchy dance-style but keep fumbling the moves.
ก๑ FUN ROOM also has a section of the narrow floor low-walled off to make a rudimentary bath, but like PINKY GIRL the soapy act only happens if there are enough customers. The single toilet is usually in use by staff.
Note: unlike the other bars in this group these 2 bars don't open in the afternoon จC not yet, anyway.
So taste and try, if you're curious; but be warned that neither of these bars adds anything to the sum of go-go knowledge, unlike WHAT'S UP and ANGELWITCH across the street, where you probably really want to be.
Staying in Soi 15, two other nearly-new bars, BABY DOLLS/XXX and CLUB 69, have recently been taken over by the English owner of lesbian-heaven THE WINDMILL CLUB (Soi Diamond). A major re-fit of both bars is underway, with exciting new acts planned, including the lather-and-writhe girl-on-girl action pioneered by the What's Up playgirls. Meet the lovely new dancers they've headhunted (go early to catch them) including some who find clothing to be an irksome convention. They're very eager to make a good impression, and thus build a strong customer base. Draught beer only 45 baht.
By the time this column appears the PATTAYA ADULT BABY FESTIVAL aka Songkran will be in full sploosh, and next month COBRA GOLD will bring shiploads of genuinely hansum men with bucketfuls of dollars, so all power to these entrepreneurs for creating new entertainment options despite the gloomy predictions.
The Polecat is sad to report that, having converted his liquid assets into liquid assets for so long in the selfless service of this column, he has to return to his cold little island to set up more fly-by-night schemes to keep him in the state of disrepute to which he is accustomed. So this will be the last posting for a while, and he'd like to leave you with a few star bars where you might want to raise a glass to him:
ก๑ HAPPY agogo (Walking Street). An incorrigible face-and-legs man, the Polecat is always on the hunt for the Holy Grail: 100% stonkingly gorgeous dancers in one bar. Happy has just drafted in fresh young flesh from the Isaan catwalks, it seems, with now up to 50% of their Hi-NRG hoofers ringing his กฎsupermodel! bell on any one night.
ก๑ LUCKY CAROUSEL is the name given to two revolving bars with stools outside Carousel agogo in Diamond Arcade. They take 2 minutes to perform a complete revolution, one turning clockwise and the other anticlockwise. If you've been celebrating a little too hard, just stop to check which way the worlds turning, then get on the bar going in the opposite direction.
ก๑ JOY BAR, Second Road, top of Soi 1. This long open-air bar at the back of the mini-complex dresses its workers in white blouses and short pleated skirts (a different colour every day). At 8pm they mass on a central stage and dance to Thai country music for 20 minutes, and after that rotate, some doing disco or gogo dancing while others chat with customers. Petite, perfectly formed Ding has the gift: her slightest move is the apotheosis of the dance.
ก๑ LAS VEGAS, Jomtien Complex, just north of Hanuman statue. 200 baht gets you a game of naked pool no, not you, put your shirt back on, you animal! your bargirl opponent.
ก๑ MICKEY AND MINNIE, Soi 2. Join Korean tour-groups for some Seoul-singing along to the bar-bands renditions of far-eastern oldies but goldies.
ก๑ TRAMPS SHOWBAR (Soi Diamond, upstairs) now has more and cuter go-go dancers, Happy Hour from 7.30-9pm with draught beer at 45 baht, house spirits at 50 baht, and the sexy show dancers start early.
ก๑ CLASSROOM 2 (Soi 2) dancers now wear skimpy white blouse and pleated skirt กฎuniformกฏ, not as attractive as the figure-hugging 2-piece noted here on 15 December, but never mind, pretty shouters and service girls in cheongsams make up for it.
ก๑ BLUE LAGOON (Centre Condo, South Pattaya Road) now has a jacuzzi for pool-ball-diving mermaids to soap down in.
Whatever changes the future holds, Pattaya will no doubt continue to be a gold-mine for both local millionaire investors and beauties from the boondocks and even the odd farang managing to buck the old joke that to end up with a small fortune here, you have to start with a large one. And who could fail to be fascinated, and appalled, and delighted, by this extreme city where total, fleeting bliss can still be had for as little as 300 baht, and every whim satisfied? As the old-timer said, If you can imagine it, someone's doing it, here in Pattaya.
For crackingly up-to-date news and views on all Pattaya's go-go bars, go to www.thaianxiety.com/gogo.asp
Quote of the Week
Professor Brody said it made sense in evolutionary terms for standard heterosexual sexual intercourse to be associated with a wide range of positive effects on behaviour. He said: "A growing body of research shows that it is specifically intercourse, and not other sexual behaviours, whether alone or with a partner, that is associated with a broad range of psychological and physiological benefits. "And greater frequency of intercourse is associated with greater benefits."
Click here to watch a minute of a very sexy pole dancer:
Let's raise a glass to Kurt Vonnegut, a fine writer, who died recently. And by the way even though I twice typed in the 15 March column in bold letters that there would be no column on 1 April I had a lot of letters asking where the 1 April column was. So much for paying attention after several beers.
I am a proud member of the TLC (Thailand, Laos, Cambodia) Brotherhood from the Vietnam War days. Some of the stories the guys have to tell are very interesting, especially from the point of view of the more things change in Thailand the more they stay the same. Many of them were Air Force in Nakorn Phanom (NKP). Here are a few of their tales. I think you'll enjoy them:
OK then - time for a war story from NKP about these cards. As y'all know the
girls working in the bars were supposed to have ID cards showing they were
current in their VD exams - and (supposedly) clean.
The SP's had "town patrol" in downtown NKP in the evenings - SP's in uniform
riding with Thai police. Once a month the medic who ran the VD clinic on
base rode along with the town patrol to stop in each bar and inspect the
working girls' cards and assure they were current. My last month at NKP I
ran the VD clinic, so I did the town patrol ride once.
First bar we checked, the SP, the Thai cop, and I went in and met mama-san
who was behind the bar. She laid the girls' cards on the bar in front of me
along with several 500 baht 'red-notes'.
Being young and naive, I didn't grasp the relationship between the cards and
the baht - so I diligently looked through the cards, some of which were
outdated. When I pointed this out to mama-san, she gave me a nasty look and
layed a couple more 500 baht notes on the bar. I was so naive, I asked her
"What's the money for?" - which got me another nasty look from mama-san, who
then looked at the Thai cop with a "where did you find this idiot"
expression on her face. The Thai cop grabbed the money with one hand,
pulled me by the arm with his other hand and said "We go now!" as he hustled
me out the door.
Once outside, the Thai cop pocketed a one of the baht notes then offered me
and the SP the rest. I just stared with a dumb look on my face and said "I
don't want any money". The SP shook his head NO, and the Thai cop pocketed
the rest. By then I'd figured it out, and asked the SP if that was going to
happen in every bar - he said yes. I asked if he had ever accepted the
money. He just shrugged and didn't repy - so I assume he must have turned it
down this time because I did. Each bar we went into after that I simply
shuffled through the cards without really looking at them, let the Thai cop
pick up the money, and I didn't say shit.
The next day I went to the hospital commander and reported the previous
evening's events. He said the only thing he could do would be to put the
bars off limits that had girls with expired cards working. But he explained
that doing so would get the Thai civil authorities involved, who would just
get paid off to update the cards anyway - so we would stir up a local
political brouhaha that would accomplish nothing in the end. He said he
respected me for refusing the money, and since I didn't see the SP take any,
there was nothing to report about that. As for the Thai cop taking the
money - that just how things worked there, and it wasn't any of our
For me that episode was one of those in life where a light goes on, and you
see how things really are in the world - where you learn there are some
things you just can't change. It's why I consider the year I spent at NKP
to be as important in my education as all the college degrees I've obtained.
Medic - NKP (73-74)
Re VD: That's what I thought, Brother Dale, until a young troop with a bothersome condition pointed out my 'love-me-long-time' Teelok as his contact on our Ubon Clinic "Hot List".
She must'a got it off a toilet seat...OOPS...she didn't have a toilet...Hmmmm 'SpyDoc'
When I arrived at Udorn in Aug. 67, we had the usual "don't
eat the food off base, or drink the water, etc." briefing. This Lt.
Col. doctor was giving the briefing, and closed it with, "and before
you come to the dispensary and try to tell us you "got it from a
toilet seat," I'll remind you that there are only two people in the
Air Force that can catch VD from a toilet seat---Chaplains and
Project Big Eagle
Military VD clinics didn't treat the local girls - those pictures came from
the "mug book" which had pictures of all the girls, same-same as the picture
on their ID cards. The system worked like this:
You go into town, and when you decide on the girl of our dreams (for that
evening at least) you check her card - which of course is current (otherwise
you tell her no, right), meaning she is disease free. (If you aren't
laughing so hard you can't read further, then proceed).
Three to five days later, when you feel the burning sensation as you whiz,
and notice yellow ooze dripping from your Johnson, you report to me at the
VD clinic at 0830 - whereupon you furnish a specimen of that ooze onto a
slide. I tell you to drink lots of water, and come back at 1300 hrs.
Before you return at 1300, I will have prepared a gram stain of your
specimen slide, and looked at it under a microscope. If I saw gram-negative
intercellular diploccus (GNID), I've confirmed you have a gonnococal
infection (the clap). If you're lucky, it will be a GNID strain sensitive
to antibiotics (there were some we'd culture that we could only kill by
pouring grain alcohol on it in the petri dish and lighting it on fire).
When and you report back to me at 1300, and I confirmed you have the clap,
you will be required to do two things. First drop your drawers, grab the
table and grit your teeth while I inject a horse-needle full of procaine
penicillin in each check (or Trobicin if you're allergic to penicillin).
Second, you will report down the hall to the public health office for your
VD briefing where the totally bored Doc who got stuck with the duty that day
will explain that you got this infection by having hot, nasty, monkey sex
with an infected Thai female.
At the briefing you will, among other things, be required to look through
the "mug book" and pick out the girl who infected you. (You did look at her
card that night, and were sober enough to remember what she looks like -
right?) That way we can a) report her to the Thai civilian health
authority who will of course see that she gets treated and doesn't work
until she's clean again, and b) keep track of which girls cause the most
infections, so we could put their pictures on the wall of the VD clinic for
Gary Pruitt and others to see.
You can tell how good that system worked because the VD rates fell over
time; no one ever got more than one dose of the clap; and that girl wasn't
allowed to work anymore. There's a tooth fairy who leaves money under your
pillow if you leave a tooth there too!
Medic - NKP (73-74)
The best "I couldn't have gotten it from my teelock because she'd never cheat on me" story I heard was from the GI who told me he must have gotten it from swimming in the ocean at Pattaya when he was on leave there with her! When I expressed a degree of disbelief in his theory, he got REALLY pissed that I was questioning the fidelity of his teelock and offered to kick my ass - not a wise offer to the person about to stick two very large needles in your ass! Gary Beatty Medic- NKP (73-74)
I remember one of the announcers at AFTN NKP (the one who wore the Mickey Mouse watch) telling me that after they finished reading the daily Card Numbers (accompanied by Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire), the phone would start ringing. "Did you say Nr. 105?" After receiving an affirmative answer, they would would drop the phone with a heartfelt "Oh shit!!"
Once I saw posted on the ubiquitous blackboard at a NKP bar, "100% girls NKP have VD." At least they were kind enough to warn you!
Norm Talley NKP/TFA 68-69
Gary....one of my language school classmates was at Ramasun with me. He was a third year seminarian before he enlisted and of course they then sent him to Thailand. About a month before he is is due to DEROS and ETS, he comes down with the biggest set of testicles that anyone had ever seen. Found out that he contracted some bacterial infection that made his testicles swell up to the size of grapefruit. They shot him full of ampicillin, swelling went down over the next day or two and he goes out again to get laid instead of taking the mandatory 30 day hiatus that I think was mandatory...along with no booze, or no milk, no sodas and whatever other food restrictions he was given 2-3 days later he wakes up swollen as big as before and they give him some other massive dose of some type of sulfa drug (tetracyclin or something?). He then has to have a shunt inserted in his balls to get the accumulated fluid out. The antibiotics do no good so they put a shunt in his arm and put him on drip IV antibiotics. Swelling never faded and they would have to ETS him like that. They sent him on a med evac flight back to Wilford Hall at Lackland and Brooks Army medical Center as a case study to see what would work. I think he had to stay around for an extra year before they finally cured him.....It was pretty frigging painful looking but he brought it on himself. Chuck
If he monitors his drinking, chances are he'll be the last man standing at
closing time, and have his pick
of the litter.......
And if you don't monitor your drinking, doesn't matter, cause they all look like beauty queens at closing time anyway! I remember this girl at NKP that had one gorgeous body, but a face only a mother could love. I often wondered what it took for a guy to be seen with her. About 2 months later, after an evening of numerous Singha's, I found out!
Project Big Eagle
Click on the above to learn why staring at a woman's breasts is a good thing.
By the way, this year is the 25th year that Memoirs of a Bangkok Warrior has been in print. What if anything special I'm doing for that I don't know yet but I have added the three opening chapters on the Books on Thailand and China page of this website as well as the covers and chapters of two books set in China (Hangman's Point and Don Quixote in China: The Search for Peach Blossom Spring) and one with a Chinese Detective set in New York (Murder in China Red). If I do anything at all to celebrate the quarter century mark, it will be depraved, decadent and utterly reprehensible. Whore House Charlie lives! But, OK, as part of the quarter century celebration of Memoirs and Whore House Charlie, and through the generosity of Peter, PJ, and Jason, you can win an "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt. You must live in Bangkok or be about to arrive in order to pick one up. And, unless you're psychic, you better have read Memoirs of a Bangkok Warrior. The T-Shirts come in 100% cotton, Black or Gray and in sizes L, XL and XXL and are otherwise 350 baht each at Suzie Wong's, Shebas, Apache, Playskool and Lucky Luke's. OK, to win one of these sexy T-shirts and thereby impress your favorite Entertainment Provider, be the first to tell me the name of the girl who worked in the laundry; And what was the guy's name who was crazy about her? And I promise in the near future to put up a picture of a sexy lady wearing the shirt. Been traveling, you know.
Proof of God's Existence - A short reading on YouTube with slides of Thai women.
It began at the end of March. The police sweeps through Nana and Cowboy, usually one thin female cop and about 20 male cops. I was told they were making sure the girls were all covered up in bikinis (which in Thailand is about as covered up as nightlife girls get). They also wanted to make certain there were no girls under 20 working in the bars. Needless to say, this emptied out the vast majority of the bars and there were left only skeleton crews. Later I also heard that CNN had brought in one of their heavy, big name, journalists to report on the slave trade in Thailand and that was the reason for the crackdown. Whatever the reason, sanuk is not so easily extinguished in Olde Siam.
Cute kid, but a shame the topknot ceremony is so seldom performed on kids these days.
Soi Cowboy gets more colorful all the time! Elvis and Marilyn made it to Deja Vu.
Didn't pub girls look cute and pixyish in those Guinness hats on St. Paddy's Day?
In case you hadn't noticed, there is a new nightlife magazine floating about called After Dark. I believe volume 2 recently appeared on newsstands and in various nefarious places. It features girls in local clubs and is a glossy, soon-to-be monthly which features what their publishers claim are Penthouse quality photos. There are also stories and interviews and the magazine is priced at a Tequila ladies drink, more or less, at baht 150. I will endeavor to run a few photos from it in the future and meanwhile it is available in various bars such as Angelwitch, etc. The website is www.afterdarkasia.com. I checked out the website and it is fun and yes it does have some hot Thai chicks. Disclaimer: I am in no way connected with the magazine but I suspect this could grow into something interesting. But in the age of the internet, how will they avoid the drop off in readers that Playboy and other print magazines face? Perhaps by filling a void out here in Asia regarding interesting magazines that have something to say plus sexy women and by keeping it closely connected to their website and by sponsoring dance contests and other events perhaps? Time will tell.
Many people don't realize how difficult managing a go go bar in Thailand really is. There is an enormous strain and constant tension and of course constant temptation all around. Many bar managers have fallen by the wayside but I am happy to say that one at least - none other than Dave the Rave - is still going strong. However, even he has changed somewhat during the several traumatic years he has been working at Nana Plaza. Here, for example, is what he looked like just before he started work as a bar manager in Thailand. What can I say?
Click on this picture to see how much fun living in the States is.
Hiya Mr Barrett: Love your articles they keep me going whilst im away from the los,im going on my third trip in april (4th) for songkran etc,I have read somewhere that sex toys vibrators in particular are illegal, please advise me if this is so,as i was thinking of a little trip to ann summers shop on my way out, only to bring a smile to those poor unfortunate girls who get very little pleasure out of life? all i really want to know is if its a real crime or worth taking the risk.Alternatively is there an ann summers or equivalent in thailand, as ive visited the eden club i know toys are available i hope you can help.
Keep up the good work might see you on soi cowboy if i do i shall repay the advice with a few of your favorite drinks. Thanking you in anticipation. Yours faithfully Alan B
Alan, thanks for yours. It is deeply moving to see that readers think I have great expertise regarding Thai laws and sex toy vibrators, and I hate to disappoint, but I know very little about Thai law in that regard. You might try the yellow pages wherever you are and check out barristers or solicitors (You signed "Yours faithfully" so I am assuming you are British) and see if you can find one listed who specializes in sex toy vibrator laws in various countries. I do know there is a place in Pattaya that sells fetish gear. And I do know, excuse me, I should have said, I have heard there are lots of S&M clubs, houses of domination, Eden club, Hell club and two Angelwitches who seem to have quite a supply of such gear so they must get it from somewhere. But if you would prefer to bring it in, I do not believe there is a special law against it; so go through the Nothing to Declare lane. Getting it on board an aircraft from wherever you are departing might be the real hassle. They might want you to demonstrate that it is not a bomb. Finally, Alan, I should point out that this column is written as fun for the whole family so in the future you might want to direct your enquiries to the Thai Ministry of Culture. By the way, who is Ann Summers? I remember the late Beate Uhse (sp) in Germany became famous for adult shops, etc. And of course in the States there is Victoria's Secret, etc.
Links You Might Enjoy
A video of a five-minute walk down Soi Cowboy. Click here and then click "preview videos."
Like to check out some bars in Thailand? Try
Like to know what music is playing where in Bangkok each week? Try http://www.bangkokgigguide.com.
Like to know more in depth about what music is playing where in Bangkok each week? Try this great site:
Tired of shoveling snow? Check out Bangkok's sunshine.
Bangkok's weather report.
A great site for listening to Thai Morlan music and other folk music of Southeast Asia.
A bit of black leather never hurts. But she does.
Our Lady in Black
Like to learn a bit about retiring in Asia?
Maps of all the provinces of Thailand
Links You Might Not Enjoy
T-Shirt Hell: for lovers of very black humor only.
Politically incorrect rants and raves from Uncle Fred.
Girlfriends looking for Taliban boyfriends.
Taliban Singles Dating Page
Do you have a product or service you would like to advertise on this website? You can, you know. In fact, you don’t have to have a product or service at all; you can just send me money. Or perhaps you would like me to plug a product or service that you are involved in? Sure, just send me cash. Be sure, however, to mark the outside envelope:
“Birthday money for Dean Barrett –
Absolutely No Bribe Enclosed”
Got feedback to this column? Got information on Thailand you would like to share? Happy as a dung beetle to be living in Paradise? Been ripped off? Just write me.
Last column's picture of the beautiful Thai lady was taken at Bourbon Street and she was selling Tiger Beer and she had a tiger on her dress. Lots of happy winners or at least one or two happy, the rest were too late. So enter and win 3,000 baht in food and drink vouchers, second prize is one of my books, third prize the usual Nada diddly-squat. For those of you hung over, look to your right to find the picture. Just tell me where the picture was taken and be the first to tell me and you are a winner.
That's all for this fortnightly column. Drop by again. Explore the rest of the website. Meanwhile, as the girls used to tell me during the 1960's: "I no lie you, GI, I love you long time; you number one!" And, remember: nothing says goodbye like a bullet. And the more people I meet the more bullets I need.
Dean Barrett can be flamed at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Back to the Welcome Page
A Christian named Eli Soriano in the Philippines referred to Muslims as killers. Just to show how wrong he was about peaceful Muslims, they now call for separating his head from his body. Some of them are smiling so I guess these are the "moderate" Muslims we keep hearing about; the "good" Muslims. Ah, yes, Islam: the religion of peace and tolerance. Coming to a Thai bar area near you soon. Any guesses as to when the first video of a Thai being beheaded by Muslim fanatics in southern Thailand hits the internet?
Excellent short article in a Philadelphia paper about my pet peeve: how Western feminazis are quick to hit out at perceived inequality in the West, but keep their mouths shut about the plight of women in Islam. Below is the Muslim militant's idea of freedom and equality. He really wants to "negotiate." Yeah, right.