Welcome to my
website. Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer
rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an
overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which
might not appear elsewhere. And to have some fun.
Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their
special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so
but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to
offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free
beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that.
So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)
There is a contest every two weeks when this column appears and the
first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly
will receive vouchers worth at least 3,500 baht in
food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, Shadow Bar, The Old
Dutch, the Big Mango, Electric Blue, The Duke of Wellington pub, and Bourbon Street Restaurant. The prizes will
build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the
eventual winner could get quite interesting. It will double to
7,000 and, if still no winner, to
9,500, etc. Second prize is a "I Support
Single Moms" T-shirt. And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of
my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers,
waitresses and hostesses).
What a smile! No, no, I mean the girl, not me. Paul was supposed
to take my picture with her but when I checked, he had of course somehow only
managed to take her. So under threat of physical damage, he was obliged to
try again and take me with her. She sells Federbrau. I haven't tried
it and suspect it may be a "German" Thai beer, kind of like Haagen Daz ice cream
is made in New Jersey. Whatever the case, she is adorable. Yummy!
Her name is- Ha, like I should be so dumb. Screw you! And,
yes, this being Thailand, we are in the same age bracket, so there!
No one knows yet what will happen to Washington Square early next year.
If the leases will be extended or all will be pulled down for redevelopment.
Whatever the case, I took these pictures of the wall outside Bourbon Street so
that there will be a record of them. I forgot to ask Doug who painted
them. Whatever happens, with the death of George Pipas, owner of the
Lone Star, the Square will never be quite the same.
Warning: Do Not click on the
picture below if you are living in a Western country. Because then you
will know what you are missing and feel bad. And I wouldn't want to make
readers feel bad.
What I'm hearing from Pattaya is that business is not good. In fact,
very bad. Club Boesch on a Friday night at ten, very few customers.
Peppermint Lounge is resorting to a lesbian show. Happy a go go is doing
OK. Angelwitch is doing OK and I'm happy to report the ladyboy element of
the show seems to have gone with the wind; at least that is what I am told.
But an awful lot of long faces among bar owners down that way. So if you
want to be an especially "hansum man" this is your chance. Go for it!
By popular request: Here again: More shots of the Mojos dancer. And below, a
few shots of Sukhumvit Soi 33.
Coyote Dancers at Mojos, Sukhumvit soi 33, rockin and rollin.
And here are a few shots of Sukhumvit, soi 33.
The Pattaya Polecat’s Back in
The winds of change blow hard in an uncertain world – so
the Pattaya Polecat grabbed the chance of a GBP520 Thai Airways London-Bangkok
return ticket before oil tops USD200 a barrel and puts regular return visits to
the Land of Post-Orgasmic Smiles beyond his reach.
In fact, next time he comes he may be unable to
afford to return to England! Which would break his ailing mother’s heart,
but make all those girls in Soi 6 who called him a sexy man yesterday very happy
He’s delighted to find Pattaya thriving; indeed, there
seem to be more girls in bars and gogos than ever before, which this low
season should mean big discounts on pay-for-play, but watch out for the Thai
logic expressed by one young lovely in Jade afternoon short-time bar (off
Thappraya Road, free barbecue lunch on Wednesdays), “no have farang, have to
charge more for boom-boom.” Despite the girls’ expectations rising with the
increasing cost of living in Thailand, a purple note should still take care of
most non-agogo short-time encounters, and a brown one adequately compensate for
an overnight stay. Plus optional generous tip, of course, if she makes you very
What’s Up (aka Playgirls, off Walking Street, Soi 15)
continues to hold number one position in Polecat’s Hall of Gogo Fame, with its 2
unique selling points: steel rings suspended by chains from the ceiling, which
the main-stage dancers hold on to instead of poles; and the mostly goodlooking
playgirls on the side-stages and in the shower professionally contracted to keep
up a constant erotic dance-motion. The latter are now kitted out with white
leather bondage straps and collars (but no knickers, of course), and, when not
wrapping themselves round each others’ bodies, or flailing
customers with lengths of rubber hose, like to pull themselves up on the rings
and somersault, scissoring their legs gracefully or remaining suspended, hanging
like bats. Take care if you sit in front of the shower, though – a sleek naked
body is likely to descend on you and squeeze your head between its soapy brown
thighs. Draught beer is now up to 85 baht – but even at that price, for this
much fun, it’s a steal. The barfines for the playgirls are 800 baht short-time,
1,200 baht long time, with an expected 2,000 baht short-time fee – which of
course helps keep them in the bar.
A close second is Baby Dolls across the street, always
busy, with 2 shifts of pretty dancers barefoot or naked on the main stage and
hot nude lesbian action (customer hands-on participation requiring tips) on the
mattress-stage near the front-door, while 2 more girls soap each other in the
jacuzzi near the back. Shift-changes are rapid, and the girls proactive, heading
for customers as soon as they come off the stage and clocking up a good drinks
total over the evening, I imagine, especially the more shameless ones (don’t we
just love them!)
A few doors away is the new Club Mistys, relocated from
Pattayaland 2, a gleaming colourful 2-storey interior and a generous complement
of above-average girls, the nude overhead-gantry and side-stage dancers said to
be earning 15,000 baht monthly. The night I went in, early evening, I was one of
only 3 customers, and all of the young, attractive staff desperately wanted to
spend time with me – a tonic after the long English winter! Clearly a lot of
money has been put into this centrally located project and it deserves to
To complete a tour of Soi 15, which in scarcely over a
year has become the gogo heart of Pattaya, also hosting Angelwitch, Beach Club
and 69 Sakura (USP: all nude main-stage dancers), the Polecat enjoys a dessert
at Smile Girls (formerly Rock Girls,) a narrow little bar with a dozen dancers,
a handful of whom are as pretty and playful as any you’ll meet in Pattaya. One
ladydrink gets you a lot of attention – a 100-baht note gets you some very
intimate attention, I noticed last night – and it doesn’t take long to
become a spoiled regular. Soapy/lesbian show around midnight.
Walking Street bars maintaining high standards continue
to be Peppermint, Happy, New Living Dolls 1 (USP: free glass of draught beer or
Thai whisky) and, just off the main drag in Marina Plaza, Coyotees, with its
beautiful sexily dressed showgirls. In Soi Diamond Heaven Above and lesbian-playshow
favourite The Windmill Club stand out, while nearby in Naughty Girls
no-longer-young but still sexy women are disposed to give a very warm welcome;
and upstairs Shark Club currently has an attractive spread of game young dancers
now in white ankle socks and little skirts with nothing underneath who also will
stop at nothing to encourage you to spend further time with them in the adjacent
Nui’s No.2 is a great afternoon venue, lots of eager
players and in-house nookie for 1600 baht.
Away from Walking Street Club Oasis in Soi Buakhao, now
open from 3pm, has energetic and friendly dancers and does a lively trade. In
Soi 8 the last-year renovated Sexy Girls has an eye-pleasing selection of
dancers, some crass, some coy, especially fetching on Friday nights in their
skimpy starched nurses’ uniforms. However, at 150 baht you may want to avoid
buying your favourite cutie a Tequila. The two Silver Star gogos (Sois 7 and 8)
are popular, with friendly dancing and service staff, but the bathrooms get
crowded when young Thai men pursue you to the
urinal offering neck-massage and
then a damp towel to dry your hands – accept the towel, and ignore the men. On Soi Post Office Hot & Cold, Far East Rock and Club Nevada continue to offer
classic rock soundtracks, some clothes-free dancers, and afternoon/early evening
delight ranging from 1,000 to 1,500 baht all-in – though the Polecat was
astonished last week, in Club Nevada seduced out of his usual contemplative
torpor by a ravishing “just arrived from the country” 19 year-old, and having
paid the 1,300 baht fee up front, to find that the mae baan was knocking
‘time up’ on the door after just half an hour. He quickly finished and raised it
with the mamasan, who said it should have been 45 minutes.
Talking of short times, in Soi 6 the Polecat still rates
Betty Boup the No.1 bar, with its full gogo complement after 5pm and its pretty
outfits (also nurses on Friday night. Recently pressed to go upstairs, he
complained of a genuine headache and sore throat, whereupon the tender dancer
replied, Never mind, I’m a doctor.) The mamasan now requires the 1,000 baht
room-plus-girl fee up front – a sign of the times.
For those who occasionally like to take a walk on the
wild side, the Pattaya ladyboy scene is still very fragmented, compared with the
concentration of bars in Bangkok’s Nana Plaza. Stringfellows (Soi Yamato),
Pattaya’s first ladyboy agogo, comes and goes in quality, while La Bamba, a bar
at the other end of the street, has a couple of cute larger-than-life ‘girls’.
The dancers in Obsessions, a splinter-off from Kitten Club agogo in Pattayaland
2, harass you for drinks and tips the minute you enter. The best newcomers to
the scene are the two Pooks bars, in Soi 6 and Soi Buakhao, where ladyboys dance
on stages open to the street from mid-afternoon, and are friendly but not
over-demanding (but watch out for 150B spirits ladydrinks here as well).
Otherwise they can be found in girlie-bars all over Pattaya, especially on
Second Road near Big C; and Walking Street after midnight is a fashion-parade of
hopeful hookers of the third gender. (Picture at left is Pattaya Beach
And three to avoid:
The Polecat doesn’t like to single out any one bar for
criticism; however, some agogos are clearly superfluous and could be closed down
tomorrow without any loss.
1) Tiger Club (Walking Street). Pretty ‘nurse’ shouters
giving out ‘2 drinks for the price of 1’ tickets at the foot of the steps – but
the bar upstairs is a chilly air-conditioned pool bar, with a small stage of
plain women in unappealing getup who can’t dance for toffee. And the charge for
2-for-1 glasses of cheap Thai whisky or other spirit is a whacking 130 baht.
2) Honey Girls. A sad new little agogo in the
redeveloped Soi Honey Inn. One half-decent dancer, the others hopeless and
follow the English boss’s example by standing around smoking and chatting. There
are several gogos like this scattered around town, clearly rich men’s playthings
since they can’t possibly make enough to pay the bills.
3) Insomnia (Soi Diamond). This agogo should be renamed
‘the cure for insomnia’. Some attractive dancers who try out sexy coyote
moves on platform-stages but show no interest whatsoever in the customers. Maybe
they come alive to Tom Cruise lookalikes under 35. I needed emergency
resuscitation after 20 minutes.
The tipping point
In the low season it’s more glaring than ever how many
bars are stuffed with freeloaders and hangers-on. At one Beach Road agogo the
Polecat counted 10 service girls to only 6 customers, while bars like Classroom
have a constant traffic of waitresses, shouters, managers and mamasans who’ve
been there for years but actually do very little. The Polecat sees no reason to
add a voluntary surcharge to his bill to keep these scroungers in idleness. But
he’s happy to give generously of green or even red notes to any staff-member who
makes a positive effort to make him feel welcome and give him a good time.
Three final Polecat observations on his lightning pass
1) A big welcome to the new Pattaya Beer Garden, in a
stunning location overlooking the bay at the back of the Pier Complex (where
Beach Road joins Walking Street). Same idea as the Bangkok Sukhumvit Soi 7 Beer
Garden, but as yet very empty. How long will it take for the freelancers to
decide to relocate from sitting along Beach Road or trawling the late-night
discos? When the punters start drinking there in large numbers, and that’ll
only happen when there’s plenty of girls. So a chicken-and-egg stalemate at the
2) The Hell Club (Soi L K Metro, off Soi Buakhao). The
Eden Club in Pattaya: the standard three-some, with that famous line on the
wall. Cost: at 3,600 baht a fraction more than going with two gogo girls
short-time (or cheaper, if you’re comparing with the pricier Walking Street
dancers). A 90-minute session, as long as a footie match. Uniforms, videos,
toys, more wild games than you ever imagined. The gorgeous operatives never let
up, yet instantly adapt to your needs and desires. Go there.
3) Pattaya is suffering a rash of pickpocket gangs on
baht-buses. Typically 3 or 4 women of different ages, or less well-kempt
ladyboys, will get on and spread themselves around, one sitting close to you (if
they don’t already fill up the bus, which makes their job easier). They may
carry large, empty bags. One of the women may be carrying a small child. They
may talk loudly to each other, to cover them scanning the passengers, one might
seem a little crazy or drunk or on drugs. One may stage a distraction – drop a
mobile phone and scurry after it, say – or the driver himself might do a
suspicious amount of braking and lurching forward. A motorcycle may be riding
alongside the baht-bus, waiting to catch the stolen goods. You may not discover
your loss until after you’ve paid the driver. These teams travel at any time of
the day or night.
Bag-snatching from motorcycles is also reaching epidemic
proportions, hitting Thais and tourists alike.
It’s sad that in a city till now virtually danger-free
to any tourist who takes reasonable precautions (i.e. not walking around with
lots of jewellery on show, or drunk at night with a wallet stuffed with cash),
we have to compromise our sense of safety and be on guard on public transport.
But commonsense habits are simple to acquire, and cost nothing: don’t carry more
cash than you need, leave cash and credit cards along with valuables in the
hotel, and on a crowded bus keep your hand on your wallet.
Finally, if forced up against a wall with his arm in a
half-nelson, the Polecat will confess that his happiest moments this short stay
have been in two gogo bars: We Are No.1 (Thappraya Road, Jomtien) and Tim Bar
Beer (Second Road). Why? Because gogo girls come and go, but rock and roll, on
luscious big screens, lives for ever. Choke Dee!!
Did you catch the article about how watermelon yields Viagra-like effects?
It contains citrulline
which can trigger production of a compound that helps relax the body's blood
vessels, not unlike what occurs when you take your Viagra. Problem is you
have to take a hell of a lot of it for it to treat erectile dysfunction and
maybe prevent it. Scientists say it is a great way to relax blood vessels
without any drug side effects. This gives new meaning to those photographs
or drawings of black folk eating watermelon in the old days in the American
south. No wonder those guys were better in bed than honkeys!
Is you girlfriend hinting that she is a bit tired of the same old wham bam
thank you ma'am? Does she seem a bit bored with vanilla sex? Worry
no more. Pattaya now has a shop with the clothes for madam that you've
been looking for. So hurry on down to Boutique Sexy. Buy a few kinky
outfits for m'lady and watch you sex life pick up again! Tell 'em Groucho
sent you. (You're probably not old enough to get the Groucho sent you
A friend of mine in the film business wanted to date a Thai chick working on
the film but she said they were on the same project so she couldn't. So
after the film was finished he called her and then she said she couldn't because
they were still in the same circles. So my friend said he had quit the
film business and was working as a garbage collector in Klong Toey. So she
said, OK, she would go out with him but wondered if he would like to tamboon,
i.e., make merit, at a temple instead of going to some fancy restaurant.
My friend said of course he would like that. She said, good, we can go to
the temple where they have funerals for impoverished people with no family and
then we can give blood. Hmmm. Do you suppose this chick is weird or
just trying to put my friend off? By the way, he later flew to Haad Yai to
meet her for a date (weird fellow, I know) got a car at the airport and drove to
meet her but ended up meeting a different chick. Thailand: Land of
Surprises. To each his own, of course, but this being Thailand: Land of
Beautiful Women, would you fly to Haad Yai and rent a car and drive
somewhere into the boonies to meet a chick?
An interview with the talented writer, Colin Cotterill, another
Thailand-based writer. But unlike other Thailand-based writers, Colin specializes in novels set in Laos starring an
elderly coroner who has to watch his ass when dealing with the dead and with
Communist officials. Extremely well written and highly praised by reviewers and
readers alike. I have read some and they are both very funny and very
knowledgeable on Laos. Colin recently moved from Chiang Mai to southern
Thailand and is married to a lovely Thai lady. He is younger than me but
yet far more mature, which must count for something. He is also a
cartoonist and has a cool website. Anyway, track down his books in the
stores and try them. You will enjoy them.
you bookmarked this website? Can you remember that this column
changes on the 1st and 15th of every month? Are you aware that I'm not
going to send out anymore reminders? Did you- Oh, hell, enough
Another provocative After Dark cover. Some photographer is
having a ball. speaking of balls:
Bangkok Post: "Health authorities will take legal action against clinics
providing commercial castration services after the Council of State ruled the
surgery was unlawful and could cause health risks. Deputy director-general of
the Health Service Support Department Wisist Tangnapakorn said yesterday the
agency was investigating whether it could prosecute Thep Vejvisit, owner of
Pratunam Kanpaet clinic, which offered castration surgery."
Damn, I didn't even know clinic's offered castration surgery. I miss out
on all the good stuff!
******************* ******************* *******************
There were three days of prayers at the Church of the Holy Redeemer on soi Ruam
Rudee for the late owner of the Texas Lone Star Saloon, George Pipas. And
then on Monday morning there was a mass and a VFW ceremony at Wat Dithongsaran (Mahakkam).
After which we all went to the Lone Star and tied one on and bought drinks for
the ladies of the Lone Star. George will be greatly missed and is
irreplaceable but the Lone Star goes on. Yet no one knows for sure what
the fate of Washington Square will be early next year. Let's hope it isn't all
destroyed and a new shopping center built on the spot. I photographed the
klong just on the opposite side of Petchburi Road from the temple showing yet
again how beautiful Bangkok was in the old days. Yet the picture next to
it shows how it also looks today on Petchburi road just before turning into the
No More Japanese Panties?? Sniff or Sob, which is
A friend of mine from Japan told me that the Japanese are no longer selling
female panties in vending machines; that somehow the Antiquities Dept. or the
police decided to call them "antiquities" and you cannot sell antiquities in
Japan. So, much to the disappointment of kinky Japanese men, if my friend
is correct, they no longer can buy used panties from the machines. The
good news? He says the latest trend is now "school girl spittle." Spittle from schoolgirls is put into vials and the vials are dated. Not
sure if the vial is labeled as to which school, etc.
I have a very soft spot in my heart for "kinky" but sometimes I have to
wonder if the Japanese are a bit beyond kinky? Like, waaaaaay
By the way, here is a very short but very funny banned advertisement in
Japan. You'll love it!
By the way, Rumor-Control Headquarters has it that beginning August 1, Thai
mini-marts have to turn liquor bottles around, including beer. I think
they mean facing the wall. That way nobody will want a drink anymore.
Surely, even Thai politicians cannot be serious in this. Or are they?
Please tell me this is not true. And now George Bush and his wife are
about to visit Thailand. I wonder if he'll be sneaking out to Cowboy like
most married men do. And, oh yeah, the remaining Khmer Rouge in Cambodia
say they are willing to fight the Thais over the border temple. Just what
we need: Khmer Rouge with walkers and oxygen bottles massed at the border.
Another letter to the Bangkok Post (which they wouldn't publish)
Your fawning article on the wealthy,
tenured professor Noam Chomsky was the kind of one-sided, leftist,
anti-American article one expects to find in your newspaper. Chomsky is the
man who denied that the Khmer Rouge and Pol Pot were involved in mass killing
during the Cambodian Holocaust and viciously attacked anyone who said they
were, a man who idolizes any dictator of the political left such as Fidel
Castro, gloated over the September 11 attacks, indulges in Holocaust
revisionism, and was described by the historian Arthur Schlesinger as "an
intellectual crook" for his predilection for changing positions and then lying
about his original position.
As for your columnist, he writes that
when America A-bombed Japan, Chomsky went into the woods to brood on such
savagery. You may be certain when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbour, he did
no such thing. May I suggest for a very different view of Chomsky, your
readers go to Google and type in "The top 100 lies of Noam Chomsky." As for
your columnist, he mentioned "earlier" US weapons sales to Burma and those of
the UK and Israel yet never once mentioned the nefarious role China is playing
in that country. Even Larry King never threw such softball questions at
someone being interviewed.
Unfortunately, it seems to me the Nation newspaper is imploding.
Roger Beaumont and Jim Eckhardt and others have been given notice and I am not
certain exactly what the Nation is doing. As it is or was the only
challenge to the establishment Bangkok Post this is sad news. I
don't say it is folding, only becoming a very strange paper indeed.
New special bathrooms and their signs for transsexuals in a few Thai schools.
What about special bathrooms for oversexed guys like me and Khun Nana?
************************************** ******************* ******************* ******************* *******************
Khun Nana's Corner
Khun Nana is a
savvy local expat who keeps in shape by hitting most of the bars of Nana Plaza
as often as possible. From his vast experience, he will enlighten and
entertain us with his recollections of the bar scene be they humorous, tragic or
somewhere in between.
Had a strange thing happen this week that reminded me
just how stupid we can be when we drink too much and end up thinking with our
little heads. I was invited to a very expensive and trendy Thai disco in the
Ekamai section of Bangkok by a girlfriend who is a nurse at a local hospital. I
arrived a bit late and she was partying with a group of hospital employees that
included 4 or 5 nurses and a couple of doctors.
After spending WAY too much time chatting up the
extremely simple minded lasses at Nana Plaza this week it was really nice to
have some intelligent and thoughtful conversations with educated and
accomplished people. The doctors in the group, being higher in status than the
nurses, insisted on paying for everyone in our little party. Again, it was so
refreshing to actually be treated to an evening’s entertainment for a change.
It is not often here that I am not the one having to pay.
All was going well and then seven Thai fashion models
came strolling into the place. All heads turned as these tall, slim, perfect
looking beauties confidently entered our group and without hesitation began
helping themselves to our whiskey. It turns out one of the gals was dating one
of our doctors. I was feeling a bit drunk by this time and must admit I
flirted a bit too much with one of the models. I really was happy to be sharing
the company of my nursing friend and in retrospect I definitely stepped over the
line by flirting so brazenly while out on a date with another lady. Yeah, maybe
it’s the booze and not my little head that makes me so stupid? Maybe it’s
both? Or maybe I am just a hopeless womanizer who only cares about satisfying
his own animal lust? Naah, that can’t be it.
Anyway I am digressing. I really was laying it on thick
in my very best Thai with this model (even though she spoke perfect English) and
then excused myself to go to the toilet. I know I was really drunk because I
didn’t even notice that she was following me down the steps to the rest room.
Suddenly, she grabbed my wrist and dragged me (I wasn’t really kicking and
screaming) into the men’s room. Then she locked the two of us in a stall and
proceeded to literally ravage me. It got so rough that we knocked the stall
door off of the hinges. When we finished (I finished anyway) I slinked out of
the bathroom and was really embarrassed to see the Thai male attendant grinning
from ear to ear. I slipped him a 500 baht note and told him it was to repair
the door. Surprisingly he refused to accept the tip and told me for sure he
wouldn’t be the person who would be making the repairs! I guess the free
entertainment was payment enough for him. Honestly she acted like a complete
I slithered my way back up to the disco area and was
really hoping that nobody would be any the wiser. Imagine my shock and horror
when this whacko broad proceeds to tell the whole story to our entire group! I
was totally humiliated and really didn’t know what to do, so I returned to the
toilet and joked around with the attendant for 10 or 15 minutes hoping some
sanity would return my consciousness. No magical answers or alibis came to me
so I begrudgingly joined my friends again and prepared myself for the worst.
The doctors were laughing their asses of over this mess,
but my date was quietly crying in the corner. I tried to console her and
explained how I was drunk and really the whole thing happened so fast I was just
taken by surprise. Then the big shock came. She wasn’t angry at me, she was
angry at the other girl! She explained that being a man, I was really powerless
to fight off the advances of a world class beauty such as that model, and that
since the model had pursued me and not the other way around I was blameless! Is
this a great country or what? When I spoke to the oldest doctor again, he and
his friends were all in total agreement. I was the victim in this
scenario! I suddenly began recalling all those horrible Thai soap operas where
one really ugly Thai guy has two gorgeous babes fighting over him while he just
sits around innocently as if totally blameless and clueless. That evening my
nurse friend made love to me better than she ever has before. Man do I love
Quote of the week comes from yours truly. I was
partying in Angel Witch bar in Nana Plaza recently and bumped into an old
friend. He proceeded to tell me that he had met the love of his life and was
getting married this autumn. I know that social protocol in these situations is
to congratulate the other person. Problem is that when I have had a lot to
drink I am just completely unable to bullshit. So I told him exactly what I
thought; that he was an idiot and should reconsider this moronic decision. I
know that you all are thinking Khun Nana sure is a sensitive bastard! Anyway, I
asked him why the hell he would want to do such a thing and his answer was that
he wanted sex and companionship. My response was “getting married in Thailand
because you need sex and companionship is like buying an office supply store
because you need a paper clip.”
(Khun Nana, another
great column, but I am disappointed that you went for an empty-headed Thai (luk
krung?) bimbo model. I thought you had more character than that.
Um, do you have her number by any chance? DB)
Until next time.
************************************** ******************* ******************* ******************* *******************
How Desperate are Western Men for Sex?
Here's your answer!
BELLEVUE -- Police say a man was caught on tape
having sex with a picnic table.
Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four
occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic
table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close
proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.
The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his
deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to
have sex. The most recent instance took place March 14, we're told. A neighbor
"The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the
umbrella and have sex with the table," Johnson says. Police say Price
admitted to the crimes -- four charges of public indecency. Usually these sorts
of things are misdemeanors, but in this case, they are felonies.
"What boosts it up to a felony is that the statute says if it's likely to be
viewed by a minor," Johnson explains. The Price family did not want to
talk with us, but neighbors did. Some are not happy Price was released on his
"He shouldn't be allowed just for the fact that he could do that again -- and
nude that close to a school. That should be zero tolerance," says Brice Jacobs,
a neighbor. Price is married with three school-aged children. Neighbors
tell us they're now worried about the kids.
"Hopefully it stays between the adults and the kids don't get a lot of the
information so they aren't so cruel to the little kids," says Emily Grote, a
neighbor. This case has police in this small town shaking their heads.
"Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around," Johnson says.
This was in Ohio, I believe. As a
"leg" man I can only hope that the table had great legs. Be happy you live
in Thailand, my friends.
A Hit Man will Kill you unless...
The Office of Consumer Protection says an SMS scam which has
targeted dozens of people across the state is the first of its kind in Western
Australia. Police have told people to ignore the messages which say a hit
man will kill them unless they send $5,000 by wire transfer to Thailand.
Consumer Protection says it has no evidence anyone has sent money as a
result of the messages.
Stephen Meagher from Consumer Protection says SMS messages are an unusual way of
trying to extort money. "This is the first time that we have heard of this
extortion type scam through SMS," he said.
"We have previously heard of other extortion type scams in February this
year via email but this is defiantly the first SMS. "It is just a mass
circulation, with just random numbers and we are confident that they don't have
the personal details of the people."
Afghanistan: US soldier's Patch says: "Doing the Work of." Flags below
the line are France, Germany and Russia.
When I was a much younger man, way back in 1973, in fact, I had the privilege of
interviewing one of the last Mandarin officials of China. The Ch'ing
Dynasty fell in 1911, but it was when the Imperial Examination System ended in
1905 that the Mandarin class was fated for extinction. I interview one
here in Hong Kong in the old Asia Magazine. Just click on the
Revisiting Taiwan after
My friend on Taiwan was kind enough to take
me around to a few pubs and show me how things work. He is in no way
enjoying himself in these pictures; just putting up a brave front for my
benefit. The girl at left is a Filipina. There are some Thais and
Filipinas working in the clubs, but not nearly so many as in Hong Kong.
The pubs were fun but not nearly as much fun as most nightlife establishments in
Bangkok. There is no coyote dancing on Taiwan or go go dancing and the
nightlife is far more sedate and subdued. Still, nice to know it is there.
By the way, did you know that during
martial law on Taiwan, there were some American military personnel who referred
to Chiang Kai-shek as "Shanker Jack" and to "Sun Yat-sen" as Sunset Sam?
**************** ******************* ******************* *******************
Letters from Readers
was reading your article on Cambodia and CWCC with interest. When I was in
Siam Reap last time, I got a quite a lesson on NGO operations in Cambodia. Upon
my return I did a little reading and research (including digging up some info on
ECPAT), seem that many of the NGOs are there for the common good but there are a
number of them that have used dubious methods. I was also told by my source that
NGO kingpins (mostly Westerners) live in nice villas in good areas of town, also
of note that some of the principles are of dubious character indeed, many would
not be able to get jobs selling hot dogs at 7-11, rather, are in Cambodia
running NGOs. No problem though, they are riding the back of a crocodile for
now and it's only a matter of time before they get eaten!
Comments on your last column
1) "Best Of Luck" to George ("Papa Bear"?) Pipas. Do you think that it would
help him to recover quicker if he had attractive women occasionally visit him?
2) I believe that it's best to continue fantasizing about the mysteries of true
love in Thailand. Usually, reality doesn't match up.
3) Wow, 'Renoir Club' has 70 (not 17?) women working there during the low
season? I wonder how many are there during the high season! And I wish that I
could get an enlarged image of that long black hair. (Hint! Hint!)
4) Regarding getting onto YouTube, I have a trick that I use to get onto
hard-to-get-onto Web sites. If I know that I'm going to have a problem, I do
the following -- (1) Open up an Internet browser program and type in http://youtube.com
in the URL box BUT don't actually go to it. (You'll understand why in
minute.) (2) Open up a MS-DOS window (Start, Run, cmd). (3) Then I type ping
<Web-site address> (for YouTube -- http://youtube.com). (4) When it responds
with something like "Reply from 22.214.171.124: <blah-blah-blah>". (5) Last, I
immediately switch back to my Internet browser program, click on the URL box,
and press the <Enter> key. (I hope that this strategy works for you, too.)
BTW, if you don't get the "Reply from 126.96.36.199: <blah-blah-blah>"
response, continue trying it a few times. If it still doesn't work, then I'm
fresh out of ideas.
5) Regarding Firefox, I've had the same problem with Netscape Navigator. That's
why I put my bookmarks on my Web site. It's not as convenient, but it's
6) Was King Narai the king of Siam when the Burmese destroyed Ayudhya?
7) It's too bad that the coyote dancer put on so much makeup.
8) That video just about made me call my travel agent!
9) Great "Two Stories Of Bangkok"!
10) That graffiti IS cool!
Thanks, Craig, Nope, King Narai was not the king when Ayudhya fell. He
died in or about 1688; Ayudhya fell in 1767. Thanks for the tip on YouTube
but it almost sounds as easy to get out of the computer and go back in again.
Firefox sucks. Yes, it is too bad the coyote dancer uses so much make-up
and just as fast as I lick it off she puts it on again. Baaaad girl.
The prizes will build up in case anyone
doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get
quite interesting. It will double to 7,000 and, if still no winner, to 9,500,
etc. Last time I checked, 3 times 3500 was 10,500. Cheers
Come on, now, Bob, did I ever say I majored in math? If you want to
know about Hong Kong in the late Ch'ing period, I'm your man. If you want
to know how many bargirls fit in a changing room at any given moment based on
certain mathematical or sexual factors, count me out. Cheers.
Thanks for sending me the newsletter!! I really enjoy keeping up with news
in BK. I look forward to seeing you in a couple of years when I get over
there.. I am so tired of the crap here in the states and the economy is going
to pot. I have started riding my motorcycle due to the high gas prices. Damm!,
that After Dark cover is smoking!
Keep up the good work Dean. George S.
Links You Might Enjoy
A video of a
five-minute walk down Soi Cowboy. Click here and then click "preview videos."
Like to check out some bars
Like to know what music is playing where in Bangkok each week? Try
Like to know more in depth
about what music is playing where in Bangkok each week? Try this great site:
Tired of shoveling snow?
Check out Bangkok's sunshine.
Bangkok's weather report.
A great site for listening to Thai Morlan music and other folk music
of Southeast Asia.
A bit of black leather never hurts. But she does.
Our Lady in Black
Like to learn a bit about retiring in Asia?
Maps of all the provinces of Thailand
Listen to RadioBangkok.net
A fine independent Pattaya Bookstore:
Links You Might Not Enjoy
T-Shirt Hell: for lovers of very black humor only.
Politically incorrect rants and raves from Uncle Fred.
Girlfriends looking for Taliban boyfriends.
Taliban Singles Dating Page
you have a product or service you would like to advertise
on this website? You can, you know. In fact, you don’t have to have a product or
service at all; you can just send me money. Or perhaps you would like me to plug
a product or service that you are involved in? Sure, just send me cash. Be sure,
however, to mark the outside envelope:
for Dean Barrett –
No Bribe Enclosed”
Got feedback to this column? Got information on Thailand you would like
to share? Happy as a dung beetle to be living in Paradise? Been ripped off?
Just write me.
So enter and win 3,500 baht in food and drink vouchers, second prize is
a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt, courtesy of Peter, PJ and Jason, third prize the usual Nada diddly-squat. As
for last column's contest
the lady with the sword was of course on the cover of my book, Dragon Slayer.
Lots of correct entries. Best caption winner: "I warned them not to
throw the babe out with the bath water!" Second best: "Don't put Descartes
before the whores." This column's prize is
worth 3,500 baht in food and drink vouchers.
Just send me the most humorous caption to the photo of the three Thai ladies at
That's all for this
fortnightly column. Drop by again. Explore the rest of the website.
Meanwhile, as the girls used to tell me during the 1960's: "I no lie you, GI, I
love you long time; you number one!"
And, remember: nothing says goodbye
like a bullet. And the more people I meet the more bullets I need.
Dean Barrett can be flamed at:
News on the "Religion of Peace"
The "Religion of Peace" continues to visit Southern Thailand
7/14/2008 (Songkhla, Thailand) - A
local security patrol is ambushed by Islamic militants, leaving one member dead.
Thailand) - Islamic terrorists shoot three villagers to death.
Thailand) - A local soldier is killed in an Islamist bomb blast.
7/23/2008 (Pattani, Thailand) -
Islamists gun down a school bus driver in a drive-by shooting.
7/31/2008 (Pattani, Thailand) - A
57-year-old schoolteacher is shot to death by Muslim militants at close-range.
Click on this - a great picture!
MORON OF THE MONTH!
Sex Pistols 'praise Allah' at EXIT Festival
Sex Pistols singer Johnny Rotten was booed
by fans on the final night of EXIT Festival, after encouraging the crowd to
Another great Pat Condell video telling it like it is about Islam
Years ago, all three Israelis were killed by the murderer, Samir Kuntar.
Kuntar was exchanged by Israel recently for two dead Israeli bodies. Among
other things, he bashed in the brains of the 4-year-old boy. Here he is
arriving in Lebanon giving the Nazi salute and promising to kill more Islaelis.
All the Palestinians wildly celebrated him as they celebrated after 9/11.
Fuck the Palestinians.
In addition to
Islamophobia, over the past week
devout Muslims killed
elderly and plenty
children in at least
adulterers and those
out of Islam weren't
Muslims in Norway, once a country at peace
(before they allowed in immigrants from the "religion of peace")
The "religion of peace" visits India, kills dozens, wounds hundreds
How Muslims treat Minorities. In this case, Coptic
Christians in Egypt
Whenever they are in a minority, as in southern Thailand, Muslims demand
people respect their religion and cultures and customs, blah, blah, blah.
Here is a very typical example of how they treat minorities when Islam is in a
majority. Muslims are doing this to their minorities around the world
every day. And getting away with it. In Egypt:
- Stones were hurled at St Mary’s church shattering the windows
- Stones were also hurled at the house of Father Shenouda Moussa
- A hairdresser’s salon was vandalised and the hairdressers beaten.
It was however spared from burning because the owner of the building is a
- A chemist owned by a Christian local, Dr Adeed suffered some
- Damages to two phone/internet facilities owned by Christians
- A truck owned by Gamil Hanna was completely destroyed
- A chicken farm owned by Gamil Hanna Farag was looted and burned
- A two story building owned by Boulos Fouad was burned
- Mr Ezzat Labib, member of the city council was beaten and his
brother Kamal Labib also seriously injured
- The mob attacked the house of Hanna Melik and beat him and his
- A wholesale deli owned by Milad Awad was looted
- Mrs. Mimi Awad’s home was broken into and burgled
Dutch Critic of Islam in Hiding from Muslim
Looks like we now have another item to add to our ever growing LONG
THINGS THAT OFFEND MUSLIMS.
Muslims, in Great Britain, are complaining that police "sniffer"
dogs - used to detect bombs, drugs and.....terrorists are
against Islam. That these
valued members of the police and military - who undoubtedly have saved
thousands of lives through their training - are considered "dirty" by
muslims. (Let's not profile
who have been the
terrorists of late?) So these "British" muslims
do not want these filthy police dogs sniffing their sacred muslim robes. Yes
- NO touching of muslims by dogs is the demand. Of course to abide by this
demand would adversely affect the highly trained dogs from doing their jobs.
Muslims say dogs sniffing their luggage is fine but absolutely no smelling
the muslim passengers/people.
But it would appear that muslims have a habit of "picking and
choosing" just what "unclean" dogs they will or won't let defile their
muslim bodies (& cars). For instance, service dogs used as guides for the
blind and many other life saving reasons - are too unclean to sit in muslim
taxis - in fact muslim taxi drivers have been know to leave
blind passengers stranded because they had a guide dog. At least, for now in
the UK, disability seems to trump muslims distaste for service dogs and the
law has been changed accordingly.
Whereas helpful dogs seem haram to muslims -the heinous act of
dogfighting has become rampant in England - with the
majority of perpetrators being muslim. Helpless dogs, often puppies, have
been seized upon by vile dogfighting muslim groups and raised to be forced
into excessive breeding, fighting and eventual death. Clearly these
despicable, barbaric acts involve muslims touching their four legged victims
- but apparently it is OK to touch dogs as long as the dogs are being
tortured, maimed and killed - all for "sport". Says a lot doesn't it? For
recent instances of muslim individuals and group involvement in dogfighting
Of course - to add to what is obviously a confusing relationship
of muslims and dogs we also had the recent example of
a dead dog being worth 15 child brides. Does
this tell us that muslim little girls are even lower, on the muslim caste
scale, than dogs? I'll leave the answer to that question up to the reader.
Getting back to muslims considering themselves "no sniff" zones
when it comes to police dogs, I agree with the critics who say this is yet
another example of muslims using their religion to force Islam into British
laws and culture. Let's hope that the often softheaded dhimmi British
judges, who will likely be called upon to rule on some future lawsuit
regarding this issue, agree with Tory MP Philip Davies:
“As far as I am concerned, everyone should be treated equally in the face
of the law and we cannot have people of different religious groups laying
the law down. I hope the police will go about their business as they would
do normally.”- The Opinionator
Yet Another "Honor Killing" in Britain by Muslims
Victim Shot and Left to Die
The "Religion of Peace" Visits the Indian Embassy in Kabul, killing 41 people
Why Muslim Terrorists Commit Suicide
(Thanks, Steve Powell, for sending this)
Everyone wonders why Muslim terrorists are so
quick to commit suicide. Let's see now:
No beer, no bars, no radio, no television, no Playboy or Penthouse, no
Teasers, no rugby, no football, no basketball, no baseball, no golf, no
dancing, no music.
No bikinis on the beach, no nude beaches, no summer mini skirts and braless
No BBQ pork, no ham, no bacon, no hot-dogs, no burgers, no lobster, no
shellfish or even frozen seafood sticks. No Christmas!
Rags for clothes and dish towels for hats. Constant wailing from the guy next
door because he's sick and there are no doctors. Constant wailing from the guy
in the tower.
You can't shave. Your wife can't shave. You can't even shave your wife.
Sand is everywhere. Sand gets into everything. You wipe your backside with
your left hand without toilet paper and if they catch you stealing they chop
off your good hand and you must eat with your shitty hand.
You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel
The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils
at all times.
Your bride is picked by someone else. She smells just like your camel.
Then your leaders tell you that when you die, you get 72 virgins and it all
So........... Nope....... No mystery here!
Two Afghan women prepare to be
executed by Islamic
fundamentalists. The second picture shows their bodies. If Muslims in the
West truly oppose this, then why do less than 10% support the effort necessary
to keep the Taliban from reclaiming power? The women were accused of being
prostitutes. Below is a graphic video of their executions:
Even Egypt is Disgusted by Iranian fanaticism
Cairo (dpa) - Relatives of the late Egyptian president
Anwar Sadat, enraged by an Iranian film glorifying the leader's killer,
urged the Egyptian government Tuesday to take legal action against Iran a
day after Cairo summoned an Iranian diplomat to protest the film. "
"We did not expect this from an Islamic country that ought to have respect
for the dead," Sadat's nephew, Mohamed Anwar Sadat, told Deutsche Presse-Agentur
dpa. The documentary film called "Assassination of the Pharaoh" glorified
Sadat's assassin, portraying him as a martyr who killed a traitor. In 1981,
Sadat was assassinated by a Muslim extremist, Khaled al-Islamboli, during the
annual military parade on the anniversary of the October war against Israel.
(Sadat made peace with Israel so of course the Iranian
government hates Sadat)
And here is an account of what Iranian jailers do to their prisoners. Yet,
those who criticize United States policy on handling prisoners haven't said boo
about Iran. Strange, isn't it?
"His jailers thrashed him with a metal cable, beat his testicles and kicked in
his teeth, he said. They held his face down in a pool of excrement. They tied
his arms behind his back and hung him from the ceiling. At other times,
strapping him to a chair, they kept him awake night after night, cutting him and
rubbing salt into the wounds."
Another Christian killed by Muslims for not facing Mecca during prayer
"Islam at its core is anti-women. According to Mohammed hell is predominantly
full of women, a women's testimony is only worth 1/2 that of a man (and not even
that in matters of sex). Remember, in Saudi Arabia, women can't drive cars or
even go out by themselves...The Muslim Brotherhood was formed in 1928 by a
Muslim who studied and lived in the US. He didn't like the fact that we spent so
much time tending our lawns and not getting closer to God. Jefferson fought a
war against Islamic pirates. Seems that Islamic hatred of the west goes back a
Pakistan Court OKs Abduction of Christian Girls Forced to
Convert to Islam
A Christian father in Pakistan is trying without success to gain custody
through the courts of his two pre-teen daughters who were kidnapped and made to
convert to Islam - writes Anto Akkara.
On 12 July 2008, a judge in Pakistan's Punjab province ignored pleas that
Saba Younis, aged 12, and her 10 year old sister, Anila Younis, who went missing
on 26 June from the small town of Chowk Munda, had been kidnapped while on their
way to their uncle's residence and ruled that their conversion to Islam was
The kidnappers, who had married the girls, had also filed for custody of
the girls at a local police station on 28 June, asserting that the sisters had
converted to Islam and their father no longer had jurisdiction over them.
"We are shocked by this court order," Anita Maria, a lawyer and a
spokesperson for a Pakistani Christian group told Ecumenical News International
recently. "Poor Christians in remote areas have to live with that." Maria said
that in some cases young women who have been abducted are charged with adultery
if they refuse to convert and marry their abductors.
Web jihadist in
America employed by federal contractor
worker says dead GIs 'bring great happiness to me'
A young American Muslim has been employed by a federal contractor
while running a radical website promoting al-Qaida.
last week, 22-year-old Samir Khan worked at the Charlotte, N.C., branch
of Convergys Corp., which in March was awarded part of a $2.5 billion
federal contract to set up emergency communications centers in the event
of terrorist attacks and other national disasters.
The company and Khan parted ways after a local news crew showed up
at his office to interview him about his
which features graphic photos of dead U.S. soldiers and praise for al-Qaida
leaders and terrorists, who he calls "martyrdom bombers."
In one photo posted on his site, American soldiers are shown in a
plane heading to Iraq above the caption, "Here they come." A second
photo posted below it shows flag-draped coffins aboard a U.S. military
plane with the words, "And here they go."
Khan, a Saudi immigrant, says the U.S. is losing the war on
terror, while "the Muslims are winning." He says video he posted
recently of "the mujahideen" blowing up a U.S. outpost in Iraq "brought
great happiness to me."
He shows no remorse even for relatives of dead American troops
grieving back home.
"I have no concern," he told the New York Times in a
video-streamed interview. "If they moan and groan and cry, it's not
going to change a thing."
"They are the people of the Hellfire," he added. "Every
disbeliever will go to Hellfire."
Khan claims the 9/11 attacks, which he replays on his website,
were justified under Islamic jihad.
"Osama bin Laden did September 11th because it was an act of
retaliation," he says on his site, emphasizing the word
"retaliation." © 2008 WorldNetDaily
“Religion is an insult to human
dignity. With or without it, you would have good people doing good things and
evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that
takes religion.”-- by Nobel Laureate physicist Steven Weinberg.
note, I do not and never would advocate violence against individual Muslims
in any community. For one thing, the guy you beat up with a baseball bat may
turn out to have just escaped from some horrible Islamic regime. Individual
violence against Muslims or doing damage to mosques, etc., is just stupid and is
also counterproductive as Muslim fanatics will show pictures of that all over
the Muslim world to incite people against the West.
A good case can be made that
Islam is a fanatical brotherhood masquerading as a religion, and, indeed, the
adherents of Islam often act that way. But, as individuals, a Muslim neighbor
might possibly be more honest than a Christian neighbor. It is only that the
Muslim will have been brought up in a religion/brotherhood with a medieval
mindset that is centuries behind the times and has a penchant for violence,
especially against those who criticize the Koran and other aspects of Islam.
Winning the war against Muslim fanatics will take a long time and be hard-fought
but it can and will be won. But we must demand that more and more moderate
Muslims join the fight against fanatical Muslims. We must demand that our
leaders absolutely reject any "compromise" on our right to free expression.
Compromising with the fanatics pulls the rug out from the Muslim moderates
desperately trying to reform and secularize Islam. And
we must never bow to Muslim demands to curb our hard-won freedom of
expression. And freedom of expression always includes satire and even
insulting satire including satire of glorified tribal myths called religion.
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