Welcome to my website.  Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which might not appear elsewhere.  And to have some fun.

Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that. So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)

There is a contest every two weeks when this column appears and the first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly will receive vouchers worth at least 3,500 baht in food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, Shadow Bar, The Old Dutch, the Big Mango, Electric Blue, The Duke of Wellington pub, and Bourbon Street Restaurant. The prizes will build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get quite interesting.  It will double to 7,000 and, if still no winner, to 9,500, etc.  Second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt.  And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers, waitresses and hostesses).

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What a smile!  No, no, I mean the girl, not me.  Paul was supposed to take my picture with her but when I checked, he had of course somehow only managed to take her.  So under threat of physical damage, he was obliged to try again and take me with her.  She sells Federbrau.  I haven't tried it and suspect it may be a "German" Thai beer, kind of like Haagen Daz ice cream is made in New Jersey.  Whatever the case, she is adorable.  Yummy!  Her name is-  Ha, like I should be so dumb.  Screw you!  And, yes, this being Thailand, we are in the same age bracket, so there!

No one knows yet what will happen to Washington Square early next year.  If the leases will be extended or all will be pulled down for redevelopment.  Whatever the case, I took these pictures of the wall outside Bourbon Street so that there will be a record of them.  I forgot to ask Doug who painted them.  Whatever happens, with the death of George Pipas, owner of the Lone Star, the Square will never be quite the same.

Warning: Do Not click on the picture below if you are living in a Western country.  Because then you will know what you are missing and feel bad.  And I wouldn't want to make readers feel bad.

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What I'm hearing from Pattaya is that business is not good.  In fact, very bad.  Club Boesch on a Friday night at ten, very few customers.  Peppermint Lounge is resorting to a lesbian show.  Happy a go go is doing OK.  Angelwitch is doing OK and I'm happy to report the ladyboy element of the show seems to have gone with the wind; at least that is what I am told.  But an awful lot of long faces among bar owners down that way.  So if you want to be an especially "hansum man" this is your chance.  Go for it! 

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By popular request: Here again: More shots of the Mojos dancer.  And below, a few shots of Sukhumvit Soi 33.

Coyote Dancers at Mojos, Sukhumvit soi 33, rockin and rollin.

And here are a few shots of Sukhumvit, soi 33.

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The Pattaya Polecat’s Back in Town!

The winds of change blow hard in an uncertain world – so the Pattaya Polecat grabbed the chance of a GBP520 Thai Airways London-Bangkok return ticket before oil tops USD200 a barrel and puts regular return visits to the Land of Post-Orgasmic Smiles beyond his reach.

In fact, next time he comes he may be unable to afford to return to England! Which would break his ailing mother’s heart, but make all those girls in Soi 6 who called him a sexy man yesterday very happy little bunnies.

He’s delighted to find Pattaya thriving; indeed, there seem to be more girls in bars and gogos than ever before, which this low season should mean big discounts on pay-for-play, but watch out for the Thai logic expressed by one young lovely in Jade afternoon short-time bar (off Thappraya Road, free barbecue lunch on Wednesdays), “no have farang, have to charge more for boom-boom.” Despite the girls’ expectations rising with the increasing cost of living in Thailand, a purple note should still take care of most non-agogo short-time encounters, and a brown one adequately compensate for an overnight stay. Plus optional generous tip, of course, if she makes you very happy.

What’s Up (aka Playgirls, off Walking Street, Soi 15) continues to hold number one position in Polecat’s Hall of Gogo Fame, with its 2 unique selling points: steel rings suspended by chains from the ceiling, which the main-stage dancers hold on to instead of poles; and the mostly goodlooking playgirls on the side-stages and in the shower professionally contracted to keep up a constant erotic dance-motion. The latter are now kitted out with white leather bondage straps and collars (but no knickers, of course), and, when not wrapping themselves round each others’ bodies, or flailing mercilessly at customers with lengths of rubber hose, like to pull themselves up on the rings and somersault, scissoring their legs gracefully or remaining suspended, hanging like bats. Take care if you sit in front of the shower, though – a sleek naked body is likely to descend on you and squeeze your head between its soapy brown thighs. Draught beer is now up to 85 baht – but even at that price, for this much fun, it’s a steal. The barfines for the playgirls are 800 baht short-time, 1,200 baht long time, with an expected 2,000 baht short-time fee – which of course helps keep them in the bar.

A close second is Baby Dolls across the street, always busy, with 2 shifts of pretty dancers barefoot or naked on the main stage and hot nude lesbian action (customer hands-on participation requiring tips) on the mattress-stage near the front-door, while 2 more girls soap each other in the jacuzzi near the back. Shift-changes are rapid, and the girls proactive, heading for customers as soon as they come off the stage and clocking up a good drinks total over the evening, I imagine, especially the more shameless ones (don’t we just love them!)

A few doors away is the new Club Mistys, relocated from Pattayaland 2, a gleaming colourful 2-storey interior and a generous complement of above-average girls, the nude overhead-gantry and side-stage dancers said to be earning 15,000 baht monthly. The night I went in, early evening, I was one of only 3 customers, and all of the young, attractive staff desperately wanted to spend time with me – a tonic after the long English winter! Clearly a lot of money has been put into this centrally located project and it deserves to succeed.

To complete a tour of Soi 15, which in scarcely over a year has become the gogo heart of Pattaya, also hosting Angelwitch, Beach Club and 69 Sakura (USP: all nude main-stage dancers), the Polecat enjoys a dessert at Smile Girls (formerly Rock Girls,) a narrow little bar with a dozen dancers, a handful of whom are as pretty and playful as any you’ll meet in Pattaya. One ladydrink gets you a lot of attention – a 100-baht note gets you some very intimate attention, I noticed last night – and it doesn’t take long to become a spoiled regular. Soapy/lesbian show around midnight.

Walking Street bars maintaining high standards continue to be Peppermint, Happy, New Living Dolls 1 (USP: free glass of draught beer or Thai whisky) and, just off the main drag in Marina Plaza, Coyotees, with its beautiful sexily dressed showgirls. In Soi Diamond Heaven Above and lesbian-playshow favourite The Windmill Club stand out, while nearby in Naughty Girls no-longer-young but still sexy women are disposed to give a very warm welcome; and upstairs Shark Club currently has an attractive spread of game young dancers now in white ankle socks and little skirts with nothing underneath who also will stop at nothing to encourage you to spend further time with them in the adjacent short-time rooms.

Nui’s No.2 is a great afternoon venue, lots of eager players and in-house nookie for 1600 baht.

Away from Walking Street Club Oasis in Soi Buakhao, now open from 3pm, has energetic and friendly dancers and does a lively trade. In Soi 8 the last-year renovated Sexy Girls has an eye-pleasing selection of dancers, some crass, some coy, especially fetching on Friday nights in their skimpy starched nurses’ uniforms. However, at 150 baht you may want to avoid buying your favourite cutie a Tequila. The two Silver Star gogos (Sois 7 and 8) are popular, with friendly dancing and service staff, but the bathrooms get crowded when young Thai men pursue you to the urinal offering neck-massage and then a damp towel to dry your hands – accept the towel, and ignore the men. On Soi Post Office Hot & Cold, Far East Rock and Club Nevada continue to offer classic rock soundtracks, some clothes-free dancers, and afternoon/early evening delight ranging from 1,000 to 1,500 baht all-in – though the Polecat was astonished last week, in Club Nevada seduced out of his usual contemplative torpor by a ravishing “just arrived from the country” 19 year-old, and having paid the 1,300 baht fee up front, to find that the mae baan was knocking ‘time up’ on the door after just half an hour. He quickly finished and raised it with the mamasan, who said it should have been 45 minutes.

Talking of short times, in Soi 6 the Polecat still rates Betty Boup the No.1 bar, with its full gogo complement after 5pm and its pretty outfits (also nurses on Friday night. Recently pressed to go upstairs, he complained of a genuine headache and sore throat, whereupon the tender dancer replied, Never mind, I’m a doctor.) The mamasan now requires the 1,000 baht room-plus-girl fee up front – a sign of the times.

For those who occasionally like to take a walk on the wild side, the Pattaya ladyboy scene is still very fragmented, compared with the concentration of bars in Bangkok’s Nana Plaza. Stringfellows (Soi Yamato), Pattaya’s first ladyboy agogo, comes and goes in quality, while La Bamba, a bar at the other end of the street, has a couple of cute larger-than-life ‘girls’. The dancers in Obsessions, a splinter-off from Kitten Club agogo in Pattayaland 2, harass you for drinks and tips the minute you enter. The best newcomers to the scene are the two Pooks bars, in Soi 6 and Soi Buakhao, where ladyboys dance on stages open to the street from mid-afternoon, and are friendly but not over-demanding (but watch out for 150B spirits ladydrinks here as well). Otherwise they can be found in girlie-bars all over Pattaya, especially on Second Road near Big C; and Walking Street after midnight is a fashion-parade of hopeful hookers of the third gender.  (Picture at left is Pattaya Beach 1972).

And three to avoid:

The Polecat doesn’t like to single out any one bar for criticism; however, some agogos are clearly superfluous and could be closed down tomorrow without any loss.

1) Tiger Club (Walking Street). Pretty ‘nurse’ shouters giving out ‘2 drinks for the price of 1’ tickets at the foot of the steps – but the bar upstairs is a chilly air-conditioned pool bar, with a small stage of plain women in unappealing getup who can’t dance for toffee. And the charge for 2-for-1 glasses of cheap Thai whisky or other spirit is a whacking 130 baht.

2) Honey Girls. A sad new little agogo in the redeveloped Soi Honey Inn. One half-decent dancer, the others hopeless and follow the English boss’s example by standing around smoking and chatting. There are several gogos like this scattered around town, clearly rich men’s playthings since they can’t possibly make enough to pay the bills.

3) Insomnia (Soi Diamond). This agogo should be renamed ‘the cure for insomnia’. Some attractive dancers who try out sexy coyote moves on platform-stages but show no interest whatsoever in the customers. Maybe they come alive to Tom Cruise lookalikes under 35. I needed emergency resuscitation after 20 minutes.

The tipping point

In the low season it’s more glaring than ever how many bars are stuffed with freeloaders and hangers-on. At one Beach Road agogo the Polecat counted 10 service girls to only 6 customers, while bars like Classroom have a constant traffic of waitresses, shouters, managers and mamasans who’ve been there for years but actually do very little. The Polecat sees no reason to add a voluntary surcharge to his bill to keep these scroungers in idleness. But he’s happy to give generously of green or even red notes to any staff-member who makes a positive effort to make him feel welcome and give him a good time.

Three final Polecat observations on his lightning pass through Pattaya:

1) A big welcome to the new Pattaya Beer Garden, in a stunning location overlooking the bay at the back of the Pier Complex (where Beach Road joins Walking Street). Same idea as the Bangkok Sukhumvit Soi 7 Beer Garden, but as yet very empty. How long will it take for the freelancers to decide to relocate from sitting along Beach Road or trawling the late-night discos? When the punters start drinking there in large numbers, and that’ll only happen when there’s plenty of girls. So a chicken-and-egg stalemate at the moment.

2) The Hell Club (Soi L K Metro, off Soi Buakhao). The Eden Club in Pattaya: the standard three-some, with that famous line on the wall. Cost: at 3,600 baht a fraction more than going with two gogo girls short-time (or cheaper, if you’re comparing with the pricier Walking Street dancers). A 90-minute session, as long as a footie match. Uniforms, videos, toys, more wild games than you ever imagined. The gorgeous operatives never let up, yet instantly adapt to your needs and desires. Go there.

3) Pattaya is suffering a rash of pickpocket gangs on baht-buses. Typically 3 or 4 women of different ages, or less well-kempt ladyboys, will get on and spread themselves around, one sitting close to you (if they don’t already fill up the bus, which makes their job easier). They may carry large, empty bags. One of the women may be carrying a small child. They may talk loudly to each other, to cover them scanning the passengers, one might seem a little crazy or drunk or on drugs. One may stage a distraction – drop a mobile phone and scurry after it, say – or the driver himself might do a suspicious amount of braking and lurching forward. A motorcycle may be riding alongside the baht-bus, waiting to catch the stolen goods. You may not discover your loss until after you’ve paid the driver. These teams travel at any time of the day or night.

Bag-snatching from motorcycles is also reaching epidemic proportions, hitting Thais and tourists alike.

It’s sad that in a city till now virtually danger-free to any tourist who takes reasonable precautions (i.e. not walking around with lots of jewellery on show, or drunk at night with a wallet stuffed with cash), we have to compromise our sense of safety and be on guard on public transport. But commonsense habits are simple to acquire, and cost nothing: don’t carry more cash than you need, leave cash and credit cards along with valuables in the hotel, and on a crowded bus keep your hand on your wallet.

Finally, if forced up against a wall with his arm in a half-nelson, the Polecat will confess that his happiest moments this short stay have been in two gogo bars: We Are No.1 (Thappraya Road, Jomtien) and Tim Bar Beer (Second Road). Why? Because gogo girls come and go, but rock and roll, on luscious big screens, lives for ever.  Choke Dee!!

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Did you catch the article about how watermelon yields Viagra-like effects?  It contains citrulline which can trigger production of a compound that helps relax the body's blood vessels, not unlike what occurs when you take your Viagra.  Problem is you have to take a hell of a lot of it for it to treat erectile dysfunction and maybe prevent it.  Scientists say it is a great way to relax blood vessels without any drug side effects.  This gives new meaning to those photographs or drawings of black folk eating watermelon in the old days in the American south.  No wonder those guys were better in bed than honkeys!

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Is you girlfriend hinting that she is a bit tired of the same old wham bam thank you ma'am?  Does she seem a bit bored with vanilla sex?  Worry no more.  Pattaya now has a shop with the clothes for madam that you've been looking for.  So hurry on down to Boutique Sexy.  Buy a few kinky outfits for m'lady and watch you sex life pick up again!  Tell 'em Groucho sent you.  (You're probably not old enough to get the Groucho sent you reference, right?)

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A friend of mine in the film business wanted to date a Thai chick working on the film but she said they were on the same project so she couldn't.  So after the film was finished he called her and then she said she couldn't because they were still in the same circles.  So my friend said he had quit the film business and was working as a garbage collector in Klong Toey.  So she said, OK, she would go out with him but wondered if he would like to tamboon, i.e., make merit, at a temple instead of going to some fancy restaurant.  My friend said of course he would like that.  She said, good, we can go to the temple where they have funerals for impoverished people with no family and then we can give blood.  Hmmm.  Do you suppose this chick is weird or just trying to put my friend off?  By the way, he later flew to Haad Yai to meet her for a date (weird fellow, I know) got a car at the airport and drove to meet her but ended up meeting a different chick.  Thailand: Land of Surprises.  To each his own, of course, but this being Thailand: Land of Beautiful Women, would you fly to Haad Yai and rent a car and drive somewhere into the boonies to meet a chick?

An interview with the talented writer, Colin Cotterill, another Thailand-based writer.  But unlike other Thailand-based writers, Colin specializes in novels set in Laos starring an elderly coroner who has to watch his ass when dealing with the dead and with Communist officials.  Extremely well written and highly praised by reviewers and readers alike.  I have read some and they are both very funny and very knowledgeable on Laos.  Colin recently moved from Chiang Mai to southern Thailand and is married to a lovely Thai lady.  He is younger than me but yet far more mature, which must count for something.  He is also a cartoonist and has a cool website.  Anyway, track down his books in the stores and try them.  You will enjoy them. 

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Have you bookmarked this website?  Can you remember that this column changes on the 1st and 15th of every month?  Are you aware that I'm not going to send out anymore reminders?  Did you- Oh, hell, enough already.

Another provocative After Dark cover.  Some photographer is having a ball.  speaking of balls:

Bangkok Post: "Health authorities will take legal action against clinics providing commercial castration services after the Council of State ruled the surgery was unlawful and could cause health risks. Deputy director-general of the Health Service Support Department Wisist Tangnapakorn said yesterday the agency was investigating whether it could prosecute Thep Vejvisit, owner of Pratunam Kanpaet clinic, which offered castration surgery."

Damn, I didn't even know clinic's offered castration surgery.  I miss out on all the good stuff!

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There were three days of prayers at the Church of the Holy Redeemer on soi Ruam Rudee for the late owner of the Texas Lone Star Saloon, George Pipas.  And then on Monday morning there was a mass and a VFW ceremony at Wat Dithongsaran (Mahakkam).  After which we all went to the Lone Star and tied one on and bought drinks for the ladies of the Lone Star.  George will be greatly missed and is irreplaceable but the Lone Star goes on.  Yet no one knows for sure what the fate of Washington Square will be early next year. Let's hope it isn't all destroyed and a new shopping center built on the spot.  I photographed the klong just on the opposite side of Petchburi Road from the temple showing yet again how beautiful Bangkok was in the old days.  Yet the picture next to it shows how it also looks today on Petchburi road just before turning into the Wat.

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No More Japanese Panties??  Sniff or Sob, which is appropriate?

A friend of mine from Japan told me that the Japanese are no longer selling female panties in vending machines; that somehow the Antiquities Dept. or the police decided to call them "antiquities" and you cannot sell antiquities in Japan.  So, much to the disappointment of kinky Japanese men, if my friend is correct, they no longer can buy used panties from the machines.  The good news?  He says the latest trend is now "school girl spittle."  Spittle from schoolgirls is put into vials and the vials are dated.  Not sure if the vial is labeled as to which school, etc. 

I have a very soft spot in my heart for "kinky" but sometimes I have to wonder if the Japanese are a bit beyond kinky?  Like, waaaaaay beyond!

By the way, here is a very short but very funny banned advertisement in Japan.  You'll love it!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hEBBwz584M

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By the way, Rumor-Control Headquarters has it that beginning August 1, Thai mini-marts have to turn liquor bottles around, including beer.  I think they mean facing the wall.  That way nobody will want a drink anymore.  Surely, even Thai politicians cannot be serious in this.  Or are they?  Please tell me this is not true.  And now George Bush and his wife are about to visit Thailand.  I wonder if he'll be sneaking out to Cowboy like most married men do.  And, oh yeah, the remaining Khmer Rouge in Cambodia say they are willing to fight the Thais over the border temple.  Just what we need: Khmer Rouge with walkers and oxygen bottles massed at the border.

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Another letter to the Bangkok Post (which they wouldn't publish)

Unfortunately, it seems to me the Nation newspaper is imploding.  Roger Beaumont and Jim Eckhardt and others have been given notice and I am not certain exactly what the Nation is doing.  As it is or was the only challenge to the establishment Bangkok Post this is sad news.  I don't say it is folding, only becoming a very strange paper indeed.

New special bathrooms and their signs for transsexuals in a few Thai schools.  What about special bathrooms for oversexed guys like me and Khun Nana?

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Had a strange thing happen this week that reminded me just how stupid we can be when we drink too much and end up thinking with our little heads.  I was invited to a very expensive and trendy Thai disco in the Ekamai section of Bangkok by a girlfriend who is a nurse at a local hospital.  I arrived a bit late and she was partying with a group of hospital employees that included 4 or 5 nurses and a couple of doctors. 

After spending WAY too much time chatting up the extremely simple minded lasses at Nana Plaza this week it was really nice to have some intelligent and thoughtful conversations with educated and accomplished people.  The doctors in the group, being higher in status than the nurses, insisted on paying for everyone in our little party.  Again, it was so refreshing to actually be treated to an evening’s entertainment for a change.  It is not often here that I am not the one having to pay. 

All was going well and then seven Thai fashion models came strolling into the place.  All heads turned as these tall, slim, perfect looking beauties confidently entered our group and without hesitation began helping themselves to our whiskey.  It turns out one of the gals was dating one of our doctors.   I was feeling a bit drunk by this time and must admit I flirted a bit too much with one of the models.  I really was happy to be sharing the company of my nursing friend and in retrospect I definitely stepped over the line by flirting so brazenly while out on a date with another lady.  Yeah, maybe it’s the booze and not my little head that makes me so stupid?  Maybe it’s both?  Or maybe I am just a hopeless womanizer who only cares about satisfying his own animal lust?  Naah, that can’t be it. 

Anyway I am digressing.  I really was laying it on thick in my very best Thai with this model (even though she spoke perfect English) and then excused myself to go to the toilet.  I know I was really drunk because I didn’t even notice that she was following me down the steps to the rest room.  Suddenly, she grabbed my wrist and dragged me (I wasn’t really kicking and screaming) into the men’s room.  Then she locked the two of us in a stall and proceeded to literally ravage me.  It got so rough that we knocked the stall door off of the hinges.  When we finished (I finished anyway) I slinked out of the bathroom and was really embarrassed to see the Thai male attendant grinning from ear to ear.  I slipped him a 500 baht note and told him it was to repair the door.  Surprisingly he refused to accept the tip and told me for sure he wouldn’t be the person who would be making the repairs!  I guess the free entertainment was payment enough for him.  Honestly she acted like a complete animal. 

I slithered my way back up to the disco area and was really hoping that nobody would be any the wiser.  Imagine my shock and horror when this whacko broad proceeds to tell the whole story to our entire group!  I was totally humiliated and really didn’t know what to do, so I returned to the toilet and joked around with the attendant for 10 or 15 minutes hoping some sanity would return my consciousness.   No magical answers or alibis came to me so I begrudgingly joined my friends again and prepared myself for the worst. 

The doctors were laughing their asses of over this mess, but my date was quietly crying in the corner.  I tried to console her and explained how I was drunk and really the whole thing happened so fast I was just taken by surprise.  Then the big shock came.   She wasn’t angry at me, she was angry at the other girl!  She explained that being a man, I was really powerless to fight off the advances of a world class beauty such as that model, and that since the model had pursued me and not the other way around I was blameless!  Is this a great country or what?  When I spoke to the oldest doctor again, he and his friends were all in total agreement.  I was the victim in this scenario!  I suddenly began recalling all those horrible Thai soap operas where one really ugly Thai guy has two gorgeous babes fighting over him while he just sits around innocently as if totally blameless and clueless.  That evening my nurse friend made love to me better than she ever has before.  Man do I love Thailand!

Quote of the week comes from yours truly.  I was partying in Angel Witch bar in Nana Plaza recently and bumped into an old friend.  He proceeded to tell me that he had met the love of his life and was getting married this autumn.  I know that social protocol in these situations is to congratulate the other person.  Problem is that when I have had a lot to drink I am just completely unable to bullshit.  So I told him exactly what I thought; that he was an idiot and should reconsider this moronic decision.  I know that you all are thinking Khun Nana sure is a sensitive bastard!  Anyway, I asked him why the hell he would want to do such a thing and his answer was that he wanted sex and companionship.  My response was “getting married in Thailand because you need sex and companionship is like buying an office supply store because you need a paper clip.”

(Khun Nana, another great column, but I am disappointed that you went for an empty-headed Thai (luk krung?) bimbo model.  I thought you had more character than that.  Um, do you have her number by any chance?  DB)

BELLEVUE -- Police say a man was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.

This was in Ohio, I believe.  As a "leg" man I can only hope that the table had great legs.  Be happy you live in Thailand, my friends.

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A Hit Man will Kill you unless...

The Office of Consumer Protection says an SMS scam which has targeted dozens of people across the state is the first of its kind in Western Australia.  Police have told people to ignore the messages which say a hit man will kill them unless they send $5,000 by wire transfer to Thailand.

Consumer Protection says it has no evidence anyone has sent money as a result of the messages. Stephen Meagher from Consumer Protection says SMS messages are an unusual way of trying to extort money.  "This is the first time that we have heard of this extortion type scam through SMS," he said.

"We have previously heard of other extortion type scams in February this year via email but this is defiantly the first SMS.  "It is just a mass circulation, with just random numbers and we are confident that they don't have the personal details of the people."

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Afghanistan: US soldier's Patch says: "Doing the Work of."  Flags below the line are France, Germany and Russia.

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When I was a much younger man, way back in 1973, in fact, I had the privilege of interviewing one of the last Mandarin officials of China.  The Ch'ing Dynasty fell in 1911, but it was when the Imperial Examination System ended in 1905 that the Mandarin class was fated for extinction.  I interview one here in Hong Kong in the old Asia Magazine.  Just click on the title:

The Last Mandarin

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Revisiting Taiwan after Many years

My friend on Taiwan was kind enough to take me around to a few pubs and show me how things work.  He is in no way enjoying himself in these pictures; just putting up a brave front for my benefit.  The girl at left is a Filipina.  There are some Thais and Filipinas working in the clubs, but not nearly so many as in Hong Kong.  The pubs were fun but not nearly as much fun as most nightlife establishments in Bangkok.  There is no coyote dancing on Taiwan or go go dancing and the nightlife is far more sedate and subdued.  Still, nice to know it is there.

By the way, did you know that during martial law on Taiwan, there were some American military personnel who referred to Chiang Kai-shek as "Shanker Jack" and to "Sun Yat-sen" as Sunset Sam?  Aiiiyaaaah! 

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Letters from Readers

Dean,
    was reading your article on Cambodia and CWCC with interest. When I was in Siam Reap last time, I got a quite a lesson on NGO operations in Cambodia. Upon my return I did a little reading and research (including digging up some info on ECPAT), seem that many of the NGOs are there for the common good but there are a number of them that have used dubious methods. I was also told by my source that NGO kingpins (mostly Westerners) live in nice villas in good areas of town, also of note that some of the principles are of dubious character indeed, many would not be able to get jobs selling hot dogs at 7-11, rather, are in Cambodia running NGOs. No problem though, they are riding the back of a crocodile for now and it's only a matter of time before they get eaten!

Later... Andrew
 

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Comments on your last column

1) "Best Of Luck" to George ("Papa Bear"?) Pipas.  Do you think that it would help him to recover quicker if he had attractive women occasionally visit him?
2) I believe that it's best to continue fantasizing about the mysteries of true love in Thailand.  Usually, reality doesn't match up.
3) Wow, 'Renoir Club' has 70 (not 17?) women working there during the low season?  I wonder how many are there during the high season!  And I wish that I could get an enlarged image of that long black hair.  (Hint! Hint!)
4) Regarding getting onto YouTube, I have a trick that I use to get onto hard-to-get-onto Web sites.  If I know that I'm going to have a problem, I do the following -- (1) Open up an Internet browser program and type in http://youtube.com in the URL box BUT don't actually go to it.  (You'll understand why in a minute.)  (2) Open up a MS-DOS window (Start, Run, cmd).  (3) Then I type ping <Web-site address> (for YouTube -- http://youtube.com).  (4) When it responds with something like "Reply from 208.65.153.238: <blah-blah-blah>".  (5) Last, I immediately switch back to my Internet browser program, click on the URL box, and press the <Enter> key.  (I hope that this strategy works for you, too.)  BTW, if you don't get the "Reply from 208.65.153.238: <blah-blah-blah>" response, continue trying it a few times.  If it still doesn't work, then I'm fresh out of ideas.
5) Regarding Firefox, I've had the same problem with Netscape Navigator.  That's why I put my bookmarks on my Web site.  It's not as convenient, but it's dependable.
6) Was King Narai the king of Siam when the Burmese destroyed Ayudhya?
7) It's too bad that the coyote dancer put on so much makeup.
8) That video just about made me call my travel agent!
9) Great "Two Stories Of Bangkok"!
10) That graffiti IS cool!

Chok Dee!
Craig

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Thanks, Craig, Nope, King Narai was not the king when Ayudhya fell.  He died in or about 1688; Ayudhya fell in 1767.  Thanks for the tip on YouTube but it almost sounds as easy to get out of the computer and go back in again.  Firefox sucks.  Yes, it is too bad the coyote dancer uses so much make-up and just as fast as I lick it off she puts it on again.  Baaaad girl.  Cheers.

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The prizes will build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get quite interesting.  It will double to 7,000 and, if still no winner, to 9,500, etc.  Last time I checked, 3 times 3500 was 10,500. Cheers Bob

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Come on, now, Bob, did I ever say I majored in math?  If you want to know about Hong Kong in the late Ch'ing period, I'm your man.  If you want to know how many bargirls fit in a changing room at any given moment based on certain mathematical or sexual factors, count me out.  Cheers.

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Links You Might Enjoy

A video of a five-minute walk down Soi Cowboy.  Click here and then click "preview videos."

http://www.pbar.info/videos.html

Like to check out some bars in Thailand?  Try

http://www.bangkokbarfun.com.

Like to know what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try http://www.bangkokgigguide.com.

Like to know more in depth about what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try this great site:

http://www.bangkokjungle.com.

Tired of shoveling snow?  Check out Bangkok's sunshine.

Bangkok's weather report.

A great site for listening to Thai Morlan music and other folk music of Southeast Asia.

www.monsoon-country.org

A bit of black leather never hurts.  But she does.

Our Lady in Black

Like to learn a bit about retiring in Asia?

http://www.retiredexpat.com

Maps of all the provinces of Thailand

http://www.thailand-guide.org/maps/index.htm

Listen to RadioBangkok.net

mms://wma.radiobangkok.net/bangkok32?MSWMExt=.asf

A fine independent Pattaya Bookstore:

www.canterburytalescafe.com

T-Shirt Hell: for lovers of very black humor only. 

http://www.tshirthell.com.

Politically incorrect rants and raves from Uncle Fred.

http://www.fredoneverything.net

Girlfriends looking for Taliban boyfriends.

Taliban Singles Dating Page

Do you have a product or service you would like to advertise on this website? You can, you know. In fact, you don’t have to have a product or service at all; you can just send me money. Or perhaps you would like me to plug a product or service that you are involved in? Sure, just send me cash. Be sure, however, to mark the outside envelope:

“Birthday money for Dean Barrett –

Absolutely No Bribe Enclosed”

Got feedback to this column?  Got information on Thailand you would like to share?  Happy as a dung beetle to be living in Paradise?  Been ripped off?  Just write me.

So enter and win 3,500 baht in food and drink vouchers, second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt, courtesy of Peter, PJ and Jason, third prize the usual Nada diddly-squat. As for last column's contest the lady with the sword was of course on the cover of my book, Dragon Slayer.  Lots of correct entries.  Best caption winner: "I warned them not to throw the babe out with the bath water!"  Second best: "Don't put Descartes before the whores." This column's prize is worth 3,500 baht in food and drink vouchers.  Just send me the most humorous caption to the photo of the three Thai ladies at right. 

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That's all for this fortnightly column.  Drop by again.  Explore the rest of the website.  Meanwhile, as the girls used to tell me during the 1960's: "I no lie you, GI, I love you long time; you number one!"  And, remember: nothing says goodbye like a bullet.  And the more people I meet the more bullets I need.

Dean Barrett can be flamed at: deanbarr@loxinfo.co.th

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More News on the "Religion of Peace"

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The "Religion of Peace" continues to visit Southern Thailand

7/14/2008 (Songkhla, Thailand) - A local security patrol is ambushed by Islamic militants, leaving one member dead.

7/20/2008 (Pattani, Thailand) - Islamic terrorists shoot three villagers to death.

7/22/2008 (Narathiwat, Thailand) - A local soldier is killed in an Islamist bomb blast.

7/23/2008 (Pattani, Thailand) - Islamists gun down a school bus driver in a drive-by shooting.

7/31/2008 (Pattani, Thailand) - A 57-year-old schoolteacher is shot to death by Muslim militants at close-range.

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Click on this - a great picture!

The "religion of peace" visits India, kills dozens, wounds hundreds

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How Muslims treat Minorities.  In this case, Coptic Christians in Egypt

Whenever they are in a minority, as in southern Thailand, Muslims demand people respect their religion and cultures and customs, blah, blah, blah.  Here is a very typical example of how they treat minorities when Islam is in a majority.  Muslims are doing this to their minorities around the world every day.  And getting away with it.  In Egypt:

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Even Egypt is Disgusted by Iranian fanaticism

"We did not expect this from an Islamic country that ought to have respect for the dead," Sadat's nephew, Mohamed Anwar Sadat, told Deutsche Presse-Agentur dpa. The documentary film called "Assassination of the Pharaoh" glorified Sadat's assassin, portraying him as a martyr who killed a traitor. In 1981, Sadat was assassinated by a Muslim extremist, Khaled al-Islamboli, during the annual military parade on the anniversary of the October war against Israel.

(Sadat made peace with Israel so of course the Iranian government hates Sadat)

And here is an account of what Iranian jailers do to their prisoners.  Yet, those who criticize United States policy on handling prisoners haven't said boo about Iran.  Strange, isn't it?

"His jailers thrashed him with a metal cable, beat his testicles and kicked in his teeth, he said. They held his face down in a pool of excrement. They tied his arms behind his back and hung him from the ceiling. At other times, strapping him to a chair, they kept him awake night after night, cutting him and rubbing salt into the wounds."

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Another Christian killed by Muslims for not facing Mecca during prayer

http://www.persecution.org/suffering/ICCnews/newsdetail.php?newscode=8208&title=islamic-extremists-kill-somali-christian

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"Islam at its core is anti-women. According to Mohammed hell is predominantly full of women, a women's testimony is only worth 1/2 that of a man (and not even that in matters of sex). Remember, in Saudi Arabia, women can't drive cars or even go out by themselves...The Muslim Brotherhood was formed in 1928 by a Muslim who studied and lived in the US. He didn't like the fact that we spent so much time tending our lawns and not getting closer to God. Jefferson fought a war against Islamic pirates. Seems that Islamic hatred of the west goes back a long ways."

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Pakistan Court OKs Abduction of Christian Girls Forced to Convert to Islam

A Christian father in Pakistan is trying without success to gain custody through the courts of his two pre-teen daughters who were kidnapped and made to convert to Islam - writes Anto Akkara.

On 12 July 2008, a judge in Pakistan's Punjab province ignored pleas that Saba Younis, aged 12, and her 10 year old sister, Anila Younis, who went missing on 26 June from the small town of Chowk Munda, had been kidnapped while on their way to their uncle's residence and ruled that their conversion to Islam was legal.

The kidnappers, who had married the girls, had also filed for custody of the girls at a local police station on 28 June, asserting that the sisters had converted to Islam and their father no longer had jurisdiction over them.

"We are shocked by this court order," Anita Maria, a lawyer and a spokesperson for a Pakistani Christian group told Ecumenical News International recently. "Poor Christians in remote areas have to live with that." Maria said that in some cases young women who have been abducted are charged with adultery if they refuse to convert and marry their abductors.

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“Religion is an insult to human dignity.  With or without it, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things.  But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.”-- by Nobel Laureate physicist Steven Weinberg. 

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Please note, I do not and never would advocate violence against individual Muslims in any community.  For one thing, the guy you beat up with a baseball bat may turn out to have just escaped from some horrible Islamic regime.  Individual violence against Muslims or doing damage to mosques, etc., is just stupid and is also counterproductive as Muslim fanatics will show pictures of that all over the Muslim world to incite people against the West. 

A good case can be made that Islam is a fanatical brotherhood masquerading as a religion, and, indeed, the adherents of Islam often act that way.   But, as individuals, a Muslim neighbor might possibly be more honest than a Christian neighbor.  It is only that the Muslim will have been brought up in a religion/brotherhood with a medieval mindset that is centuries behind the times and has a penchant for violence, especially against those who criticize the Koran and other aspects of Islam.   Winning the war against Muslim fanatics will take a long time and be hard-fought but it can and will be won.  But we must demand that more and more moderate Muslims join the fight against fanatical Muslims.   We must demand that our leaders absolutely reject any "compromise" on our right to free expression.  Compromising with the fanatics pulls the rug out from the Muslim moderates desperately trying to reform and secularize Islam.  And we must never bow to Muslim demands to curb our hard-won freedom of expression.   And freedom of expression always includes satire and even insulting satire including satire of glorified tribal myths called religion. 

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