Thailand Nightlife Roundup


Welcome to my website.  Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which might not appear elsewhere.  And to have some fun.

Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that. So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)

There is a contest every two weeks when this column appears and the first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly will receive vouchers worth at least 3,000 baht in food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, Shadow Bar, The Old Dutch, Electric Blue, The Duke of Wellington pub, and Bourbon Street Cafe. The prizes will build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get quite interesting.  It will double to 6,000 and, if still no winner, to 9,000, etc.  Second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt.  And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers, waitresses and hostesses).


How bout that morning rainstorm we had on the 30th?  It seems Thailand's weather is as unpredictable as its women.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez, he who wrote One Hundred Years of Solitude, etc., has just written his first book in ten years.  The intriguing title Memories of My Melancholy Whores.  How could anyone resist buying a book with a title like that?  And this opening sentence:  "The year I turned ninety, I wanted to give myself the gift of a night of wild love with an adolescent virgin."  Whoop dee do!  I'll no doubt be quoting from it in the future.

Ah, yes, there is something special about Soi Cowboy!



A real exchange between Canadian Mike and Pat, a lovely Thai lady:  
M:    How's your boyfriend?
P:    I don't have a boyfriend.
M:    Yes you do.
P:    No I don't.
M:    Yes you do.
P:    No I don't.
M:    Yes you do.
P:    No I don't.
M:    Yes you do.
P:    Okay. But he's not here.
M:    So... Does that mean I have a chance?
P:    But, I thought you liked my boss.
M:    Dear, haven't you realized yet that I'll go for anyone?


Did you know that as a child in Indonesia, Barack Obama was registered as a Muslim?  No big deal and he seldom went to a mosque, but I believe he is a Christian now.  The problem is that in several Muslim countries if someone was a Muslim and then converted to another faith, such apostasy is punished by death.  So if he becomes president of the USA, he might actually be a target for Muslim nutcases a la the Salmon Rushdie affair.  We live in interesting times.

Hmmm, I wonder if there are a few more moles below those two.  The middle picture shows two Londoner Pub employees in a sexy mood.  At right is a real cutie - such a smile!

So Asia Books and Bookazine, two of the biggest bookstore chains in Thailand finally figured out that they were cutting each other's throat by opening competing stores in the same area, in some cases, the same building.  So they up and merged.  A non-cash merger in which one seems to own the other onshore and the other owns the other offshore and Booksmiles stores become Bookazine's now.  Or something like that.  What does it mean to us?  Well, less competition is not usually a good thing but let's wait until the dust settles and see if book distribution is more efficient, etc.  They have a new office on Rama IX.  I haven't been there but it probably isn't too far from the Colonze Massage Parlor and Entertainment Center on Rama IX (where I haven't been either).

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work.  I want to achieve immortality through not dying." - Woody Allen

Just a few final New Year's Eve photos.  What a great New Year's Eve it was!  The bar was filled with styrofoam and people lost money, combs, etc., and had to dive down for them.  The fellows above were said to be looking for their lost hairpieces.  Although that was not confirmed.


Click on this truly great bumper sticker.


Overheard bar talk: "I haven't come out so bad from my marriages and divorces.  I only gave away three houses."


For you sports guys out there: The Shadow Bar, soi Cowboy, will be having a Super Bowl XLII party on Monday morning, February 4th....opening at 6AM....the game starts at 8AM....and they will be serving a full bar, plus 150 baht buffet breakfast and lots of bloody marys, etc., and of course the game in live telecast on 7 screens.  Is there a 6 in the morning?  Why wasn't I informed?  And Larry's Dive opens up at 5, yes, five!, in the morning on this auspicious day.  Amazingly enough, it seems there is also a 5 in the morning as well.  Meanwhile, down at the infamous Nana Plaza, which according to the following special "news" report has "dozens of brothels", the Mandarin Bar had closed its upstairs the other night because, according to the manager, there were not enough girls for both upstairs and down as too many had been barfined.  Even so, those left were quite attractive.  Upstairs in another corner of the notorious Plaza, the Erotica Bar is according to the very best sources changing the top floor into a - wait for it - discotheque!  Will they leave the glass floor?  The other night the bar was closed completely as the owner had taken all the girls for a trip to Khao Yai.  Isn't that a thoughtful manager?  And did you know that those tiny tables and bars on the corner of Soi Asoke and Sukhumvit actually charge barfines?  One guy I know paid 500 baht to barfine a chick out of one of the miniscule open-air bars there.  I hope she was worth it.


Peter, who recently bought the Shadow Bar, is at it again; this time remodeling the Joy Bar, also on Soi Cowboy.  And did you know Peter was hit by a bus a few years back when crossing Sukhumvit at soi Nana and was badly hurt?  Did you also know guys keep getting killed at that crossing?  At least the lanes all go in one way now on the other side of Sukhumvit but it is very dangerous - be careful, in Thailand pedestrians do not have the right of way.


Andy and Micky have sent a reminder that Electric Blue on Patpong II (yes, near BarBar, your very favorite S&M club) now opens at 4 pm every day of the week.  Happy hours are from 4 to 9 pm and features buy one, get one free.  Closing times are 2 am daily, except Friday and Saturday when the club is open until 3 am.





This may be the most dishonest video I've ever seen.  A Canadian "Global BC" special "news" report about sex slavery in Thailand and the underage children and "dozens of brothels in Nana Plaza."  It is stupid, incorrect, misleading, dishonest and amateurish but this is the type of shit that gets reported on Thai nightlife back in the West.  This video pisses me off.  It will piss you off.  So be prepared to be pissed off.



"Penis growth patch?"  One of the many weird things offered in junk mail these days along with female viagra, etc., etc.  No point in asking anybody what penis growth patch is because if they knew they wouldn't admit to knowing.


My friend Paul tells me that it's not just Thais who commit electoral fraud.  On Thursday night, there was a dance contest at Rawhide. Voting sheets were issued to everyone in the bar, to pick their favorite dancers.  A rather large, bald-headed, tattooed Englishman took a fancy to young Aom, who was dancing in the contest.  He asked for six voting sheets for all his mates.  But he then filled them all out with Aom's name and handed them in.

The owner, however, thought that it was unlikely that these were proper, carefully considered votes, since none of the dancers had actually taken to the stage yet.  She tore them up.  Upon seeing that his attempt to stuff the ballot box had failed, the admiring punter resorted to direct means.  He gave the owner 1000 Baht, with a side-of-the-mouth mutter of "Oi, make sure Aom wins.   Know what I mean?"  Well, the owner of Rawhide probably was not desperately in need of a thousand Baht, and she certainly wasn't going to have the integrity of a Rawhide dance contest spoiled by one lustful customer.  The 1000 Baht was returned to him, with the message that unfortunately the contest must be judged fairly.  However, if he wanted to offer the 1000 Baht as his own special prize, he was welcome to take the microphone and have his own award ceremony.  He declined, saying, "No, forget it. And keep it quiet okay?  Hush!" Aom won second prize, and the 1000 Baht was put to far better use, by paying her bar fine.

Who says all Thai elections are corrupt?


This book was a very interesting read.  Set in Bangkok during WWII apparently based on a true story.  Of course the cover is of the old school which makes it look like some kind of ad for a godawful Thai TV soap opera but in fact it really is fascinating.  The cover blurb says "An unusual true story of a beautiful Eurasian girl's World War II adventures in Japanese occupied Siam."  And on the back cover:  The Siamese refer to the young women who earn their living by love outside marriage as 'Golden Orchids'.  Set in occupied Siam this is the true story of Nicole, the Eurasian dancing girl who became the mistress of a Japanese General.  It is the story, too, of her American lover and of the desperate adventures of Serai Thai, the Siamese Resistance Movement in which both were involved."  I think I found something on the internet about the author later returning to England and writing more books.  Anyway, I love coming across interesting fiction on Thailand I didn't know existed.

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Khun Nana's Corner

Click to enlarge

Khun Nana is a savvy local expat who keeps in shape by hitting most of the bars of Nana Plaza as often as possible.  From his vast experience, he will enlighten and entertain us with his recollections of the bar scene be they humorous, tragic or somewhere in between.

Greetings to our loyal readers and I hope you are enjoying this blessing we call life as much as I am.  Last week I compared 1995 Bangkok to present day and detailed the changes in the nightlife industry.  This issue I want to compare changes in cost, livability, transportation and relationships with “good gals.”  Then I will throw in an entertaining story or two of everyday life here in Paradise.

Much like everywhere else in the world, costs are rising in Bangkok.  Even more so for those who insist on only living, eating and partying in places set up to serve foreigners.  It is really quite simple.  The average Thai makes about 7000 baht a month and the average foreigner around ten times that.  Many foreigners make (and somehow find a way to spend) twenty or thirty times that amount.  We are therefore willing and able to pay much more for basic services.  Apartments in lower Sukumvit (a popular area for foreigners to reside) average about 30,000 baht for a modest place, while a Thai would pay 2500 to 4000 for his place.  Thai food on the street costs 30 baht, but 150 baht in a restaurant catering to foreigners.  It probably won’t taste as good!  The lesson is simple.  Try to branch out a little and enjoy the “real” Bangkok and you will spend far less and probably enjoy life a lot more.  See some of my earlier archived columns for suggestions.  In addition, the US dollar is very weak at the moment which has hurt purchasing power for many.  It seems weak at 33 baht to the dollar, but when I came here in 1995 it was 25 baht to the dollar! Let’s hope it doesn’t get back to those “good old days!”

Livability has improved ten fold.  I manage my entire financial life on the internet now.  Impossible in 1995.  The entire range of services from ATM machines, laundry mats, maid service, great restaurants, bookstores, shopping malls etc. has improved so much that I feel like I am living in a different city.  Bangkok 1995 was a little like the Wild West!  Every little thing that needed to be done was a minor (or major) challenge.  I feel a little nostalgic when recalling those first few years as even the most simple errand often turned into a debacle!  I guess I don’t miss it that much!

Transportation is excellent and VERY inexpensive.   The most significant change is the rail system.  The BTS and MRT are cheap, clean, air-conditioned, and go to many of the most important points in Bangkok.  The trains are also full of some of the best eye candy on the planet!  To demonstrate how the rail system has completely transformed the city I would like to offer the following example: In 1995 I stayed in Siam Square and met a friend who worked nearby.  She offered to meet me on her day off and gave me directions to her home in Ekamai, which is about 10 kilometers distance.  I boarded a taxi at NON-RUSH HOUR and it was a horrific 1 hour and 40 minute ride!  I thought I would fry in that taxi for sure.  Today, I reach Ekamai from Siam Square in 14 minutes on the BTS! 

One absolutely HUGE change from 1995 to present is the situation involving foreign men and the “good gals.”  In 1995 I was obviously 13 years younger, quite a bit more handsome (or less homely depending on your view) and a lot more reckless in my spending habits to say the least.  However it was quite difficult to get dates with the local lasses as the perception at the time was that only “bad girls” would be seen with a lowly foreigner and the normal gals were very shy about being seen with us.  I must admit it was not just my own situation.  I very rarely saw Thai gals and foreigners together outside of the nightlife areas in those days.  Today the situation has improved dramatically.  Thai ladies from virtually every segment of society are open to meeting foreign men and some (a somewhat smaller percentage) actually prefer foreigners.  Ooooohhhhh baby it’s so good to be a single guy in Bangkok today!

Somewhere out there is a German gentleman who owes his life to the fact that I am one of the horniest cats on the planet!  Last week I was walking up Sukumvit soi 4 at 3AM and there was the usual mob scene of night crawlers out and about.  By chance I happened to glance quickly to my right and this guy was drunk and falling from the sidewalk onto the street, right in the path of a speeding taxi!  I swung around 270 degrees and just managed to grasp his wrist and pull him up from a certain death.  He was literally 1/10th of a second from being run over by this taxi.  It was so close that he was in shock and couldn’t speak for thirty seconds or so.  Then the horrified taxi driver pulled over and walked back to make sure all was OK and they both just stood there in shock staring at each other.  The driver then went about his business and this lucky gentleman with a very thick German accent hugged me five times and kept repeating “thank you, thank you, thank you, Oh, my God, thank you.”  The next day I returned to the scene and realized that if I tried that rescue 100 times I probably would have been successful in grasping his arm maybe five percent of the time.  It was truly luck.  Or was it?  At 3am I am nearly always in bed and if I am still out I would not have been SOBER enough to have pulled off that maneuver.  Why was I sober that night?  Oh yeah…..I ran into a HOT Thai gal I have had a crush on for years and spent three hours chatting her up instead of my usual beer drinking antics with my mates.  Make no mistake about it my fortunate German friend; you are alive today because I am one hopelessly horny individual!

Until next time.  Khun Nana

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Adventures in Essarn - Khon Kaen, Udorn, Nong Khai


After Nick and Touk's wedding and reception in her village outside Korat I decided to head up to the Mekong.  These are pictures taken around Khon Kaen at night.  I am not quite sure what was happening but it was graduation day and students in caps and gowns were about and the tree and envelopes had something to do with it and no doubt many were giving thanks for having graduated.  Actually, I don't find the towns of the Northeast very interesting.  Most don't have English language bookstores, massage parlors or go go bars; so why spend time there?  It is in the countryside and in the villages where Thailand really comes to life.  Even the Rough Guide writer wondered why anyone would spend much time in Udorn.  But the countryside is a different matter, altogether.  The ricefields, the villages, the atmosphere of what we like to call the real Thailand.  I have never believed in romanticizing the rustics of any country and people in cities might be just as nice underneath as those in villages, but certainly a farang traveler will receive a warm welcome in most villages.  If you don't speak Thai, visit a farang friend living in the area who does.  We are now heading into the end of the cool season so I am heading into Cambodia for a bit and you should also be on the road traveling.  Because this is the season to travel without too much perspiration.  So get out the map and go!  The bars will miss you, fo shore, hansum man, but you'll be back.  And, as you know, in Thailand, you don't lose your girl, you only lose your turn.


Friendly insect sellers on the streets of Korat.  A scorpion will only cost you 5 baht, as will a mangda beetle.  (They pay 3 baht for the scorpions and sometimes go catch "food" themselves and it seems to me because catching the scorpion is a lot more dangerous than catching the mangda beetle scorpions should cost more than beetles, no?)  The nice lady gave me a free grasshopper to eat which I did after removing a lot more from it than she removed from the one she ate.  Grasshoppers are not that difficult to eat.  The texture is kind of crunchy, easy to chew, not unlike Good Pork Betty's nipples after she emerged from a swim in the canal by soi Jailai in the mid-60's.


Second from left is in a park in Udorn.  Third from the right is of course Nong Khai looking across the Mekong into Laos.  Extreme right picture is in Nong Khai at the river bank with Laos across the Mekong in the background.  If my Thai is correct the sign reads: "The people of Laos and Thailand greatly appreciate the writing of Dean Barrett."  Then again, I don't read Thai so I could be off on that one.  The picture second from right reminds me of a certain Thai politician with the PPP.



It is also that time of year again for me that I have to show 800,000 baht in my savings book to the good folks at the Immigration Department to prove I am financially solvent so that I can stay in the country for another year.  Whether or not I actually can come up with that kind of money depends on you getting out there and buying my books!  So here is the new campaign:  Help Keep Dean Barrett in Thailand by buying his books so he has some money in the bank to show the people at Immigration that he will not be a burden on the good people of Thailand  (a pain in the ass is OK, but not a burden).  Time is running out.  Please hurry.  Otherwise, ah is a goner...  (Of course, a spouse visa requires only 400,000 baht in the bank so if I marry a Thai national I would be OK but whenever I ask a Thai woman to marry me I always tell them that it is a good deal for them.  When they ask how marrying me would be a good deal for them I always have to say "I'll get back to you on that.")


If interested in books, Shakespeare & Co. famous Paris bookstore, IHT video:


"Give a man a hammer and everything looks like a nail." - Mark Twain

"Give a man an erection and everything looks like a pussy."  - Whore House Charlie


Did you see where some company left packages in bus stations around Bangkok as an advertising gimmick and folks thought they were bombs and it turns out there is a law that you can be fined or jailed for instilling fear in people?  Taksin and Samak instill lots of fear in me.  In fact, they scare the hell out of me.  So shouldn't they be charged as well?


Looking for a good used bookstore in Pattaya?  Try


( (Short video of a very sexy airline.  Their slogan is "Get on, get off!"  Very short video ad of Lynx Airline.  You won't believe this.)




Leg Men: Why you should take a measuring tape when patronizing go go bars

"Polish researchers have discovered that the perfect set of legs is five per cent longer than the average, meaning that your run-of-the-mill Polish woman at 5ft 4in tall with an inside leg measurement of 29in would require 30.5in legs to compete with the celebrated pins of Oz popstress Kylie Minogue.

Minogue has, of course, topped a few "best celebrity legs" polls, and while she's just five feet tall, she "has legs that are proportionally long compared with her small frame", as the Telegraph puts it.  This astounding leg revelation is the work of the splendidly-named Dr Boguslaw Pawlowski at Wroclaw University, whose team asked 218 male and female volunteers to rate seven silhouettes of a man and woman in order of attractiveness.

All of the images were the same height but had varying leg lengths, and the test participants expressed a preference for those boasting an extra five per cent in leg length.  However, excessively long legs - ten per cent longer than average - were considered less attractive than average legs.

Pawlowski rather confusingly explained the whole thing by noting that "that long legs signal health", so we're not quite sure why really long legs don't measure up to moderately extended limbs in the eye-pleasing department.

Still, he was pretty unequivocal about why people don't much like short legs, viz: said legs are linked with "a higher risk of cardiovascular disease and type II diabetes and with higher levels of a body fat called triglyceride, which is linked to the clogging of the arteries, heart disease, strokes and insulin resistance in men".  from The Register


Another imaginative, incredible painting by Richard Diran.  This one is titled, Seven Minutes Till the End of a Very Small World.  Oil painting 28.5 x 36 inches.  Just click on it.  Amazing.


I love the Ballad of the Green Berets.  Hope you do too but if you don't, that's OK.  To each his own but if you don't like either the song or the Green Berets fuck you and the water buffalo you rode in on.  The late SSgt. Barry Sadler sings it on youtube here.


A quote from an 1889 address by Charles J. Bonaparte (later US Attorney General):  “I hope…that I have not wholly lost my character as a man of business if I admit that I once, when a young man, told the truth to a tax-gatherer.”


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Letters from Readers

Dean, Logged into your website today, found it very interesting and well produced with a number of fine articles.  Enjoyed the one about meeting Thai ladies.  I am married to a Thai lady, and now live here.  I met her initially on the internet, followed by a 2 week visit, followed by a 6 week visit, followed by moving here, that was 4 years ago.

Yes there are so many beautiful Thai ladies, many who desire a Farang husband to take care of them, and in return they take care of you in a way seldom experienced elsewhere in the world.  When I talk to the bar ladies, I have a feeling of sympathy for many for them, they are working the bar in most cases to support the family or baby at home, thankfully many finish up married to good men, but there are also the rebels who will do anything for cash and more for more cash, and those that constantly have to lie, for their satisfaction, but they are the minority, and they supply a need for some men.

I am also a leg man, and there is no shortage of beautiful legs in Thailand, associated with the hot weather of course.  I read an article recently on Asian Sweethearts site, owned by a lady who spent sometime in USA, she seems a bit conservative, but as I have never met her so I reserve judgment.  The article was about legs, in particular those shown by University Students, who she says buy their shirts 2 sizes to small and their skirts as short as possible, I am sure she was not referring to all University Students.  It was accompanied by a picture of 2 students,

who looked very sexy and absolutely lovely.  We have a University near to where I live, and I am sure they have a contest to see who can wear the shortest skirt, mornings are like a fashion parade. Long may it last.

The bottom line is that they are typical of all the lovely Thai ladies, they love to look good.  A friend of mine put it in a nutshell the other day, he said “Apart from that lovely Thai smile, they are feminine, know they are feminine, and show they are feminine and long may they be so.”  It is also so lovely when you tell them in your Farang Thai,  Suiy Mak Mak, they reply Thank you very much, but do not slap your face as would be the case elsewhere.  So how about an article with pictures on University Students, the way they look, and why.

Finally, I recently read a book written by a chap from USA called “Even Thai Girls Cry” very good read, and story, a bit different from most.  Another I read was yours, “Kingdom of Make Believe,” also very good story with twists and turns.  Mike, Hua Hin

Mike, thanks for yours.  Jesse Gump wrote Even Thai Girls Cry; he is a fine writer, lives in the States mostly, I think.  As for the students, if you want to meet university students, just go (I am told) to some of the massage parlors out at Rachadapisek.  It seems lovely young things need the latest cellphones, clothes, makeup, etc., and are "working hard" to get them. Yes, it is true that they buy blouses sizes too small and wear short skirts despite admin. attempts to put an end to it.  Tsk, tsk, young people today!


Hi Dean,

Quick update after 2+ weeks in Indonesia (Jakarta and Bali). Girls are very pretty; percentage-wise, probably more Thai girls are pretty, but Indonesians seem more exotic and actually have... assets. However they are not nearly as much fun-loving and entertaining as Thais. A lot of them seem seriously marriage minded, I met several here who latched onto me like crazy after one lunch only. Bali was a bit incongruous to me, the Hindu-culture-meets-throngs-of-tourists just did not do it for me. Jakarta is chaotic and much more difficult to get around than BKK but the nightlife is surprisingly vibrant (read: loose women).

I'm not particularly crazy about Islam (grew up in Romania which was for 400 years a Turkish vassal state and I know from first hand experience the effects of dhimmitude), but Indonesians (in Jakarta at least) seem quite relaxed about it. I did not get into politics but I did feel distinctly more an object of attraction than in BKK (perhaps because there are so few foreigners here). Also they seem quite a bit poorer than Thais and less secure in their 'patriotism', perhaps a legacy of having been a colony.

The quest continues....

Best, Julian


Julian, I was in Bali last year but haven't been to Jakarta for many years.  But I still remember an Indonesian friend taking me around Jakarta and it was exactly as you describe it with lots of nightlife and lovely women with assets.  Let's hope the place stays relatively liberal and fundamentalists don't take over the country. 


Dear Dean,

Thanks for the consistently entertaining info on your website (much more important for my bimonthly happiness now that I no longer live in the Land of Slimes Smiles).

I'm writing now with a small favor to ask. I have entered an Asia-based novel in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel contest. The book, titled, Pachinko, follows an American rock band as they get hopelessly screwed on a tour through Japan, then Cambodia and Thailand.

The book has now made it to the semi-finals, but winning the Amazon contest hinges on an online excerpt of the book receiving positive reviews from Amazon users. So, it would sure help my cause if you were to mention the link to your readers. (I remember at one of your meet-the-author talks in Nana Starbuck's your mentioning how difficult it is for males to publish Asia-based materials in the female-dominated New York arena, so I need all the help I can get!) Here's the link:

or Pachinko

Thanks, and I hope all is well for you these days in the Mango (lucky stiff).  Cheers, Jeff Studebaker


Good luck, Jeff, I hope some readers help you out.


Links You Might Enjoy

A video of a five-minute walk down Soi Cowboy.  Click here and then click "preview videos."


Like to check out some bars in Thailand?  Try

Like to know what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try

Like to know more in depth about what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try this great site:


Tired of shoveling snow?  Check out Bangkok's sunshine.


Bangkok's weather report.




A great site for listening to Thai Morlan music and other folk music of Southeast Asia.




A bit of black leather never hurts.  But she does.


Our Lady in Black




Like to learn a bit about retiring in Asia?




Maps of all the provinces of Thailand



Listen to







Contact Direct Line for Travel Insurance in the UK




Links You Might Not Enjoy

T-Shirt Hell: for lovers of very black humor only.


Politically incorrect rants and raves from Uncle Fred.


Girlfriends looking for Taliban boyfriends.

Taliban Singles Dating Page


Do you have a product or service you would like to advertise on this website? You can, you know. In fact, you don’t have to have a product or service at all; you can just send me money. Or perhaps you would like me to plug a product or service that you are involved in? Sure, just send me cash. Be sure, however, to mark the outside envelope:

“Birthday money for Dean Barrett –

Absolutely No Bribe Enclosed

Got feedback to this column?  Got information on Thailand you would like to share?  Happy as a dung beetle to be living in Paradise?  Been ripped off?  Just write me.


So enter and win 3,000 baht in food and drink vouchers, second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt, courtesy of Peter, PJ and Jason, third prize the usual Nada diddly-squat. As for last column's contest thanks for all the cool quotes.  The winner is (drumroll): 

"In her rush to get out of the nunnery, Sister Muriel suddenly realized that she had forgotten to put on her habit. Luckily, Steve, the Hawaiian fireman, was quite understanding and picked her up anyway."


Runner up and T-shirt winner is:

"If At First You Don't Succeed, Thai Again"


Diddly-Squat Nada Third prize (all the way from Nigeria) is:

"The hardest part of my new job as Dean Barrett's butler is carrying all of the worn-out women down from his bedroom"

This column's prize is worth 3,000 baht in food and drink vouchers and second prize is the famed "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt.  Just answer this question:  About 60 years before the Greek adventurer Constantine Phaulkon (M. Constance) was beheaded in the woods outside Lopburi, Thailand (1688), there was another amazing adventurer, this one in Burma (Pegu).  You are familiar with his family name.  What was his name, what was his nationality and what is the product named after his family?


That's all for this fortnightly column.  Drop by again.  Explore the rest of the website.  Meanwhile, as the girls used to tell me during the 1960's: "I no lie you, GI, I love you long time; you number one!"  And, remember: nothing says goodbye like a bullet.  And the more people I meet the more bullets I need.

Dean Barrett can be flamed at:



More News on the "Religion of Peace"




The "Religion of Peace" continues to visit Southern Thailand



1/9/2008 (Yala, Thailand) - A 34-year-old man riding his motorcycle is murdered by Islamist gunmen.


1/10/2008 (Yala, Thailand) - Three men are shot to death by Muslim terrorists in three separate attacks. 


1/15/2008 Thailand Yala ) - Islamic bombers injure forty-four people in an attack on market stalls.


1/18/2008 (Pattani, Thailand) - Muslim radicals kill a local soldier outside a mosque.

1/19/2008 (Yala, Thailand) - A 44-year-old butcher is shot to death by Muslim terrorists while riding home.

1/19/2008 (Pattani, Thailand) - A 20-year-old woman is murdered in a vicious ambush by Islamic extremists.

1/19/2008 (Yala, Thailand) - Muslim radicals shoot the head of a local health clinic in the back of the head while he is on a lunch break.

1/20/2008 (Narathiwat, Thailand) - Islamic radicals gun down a 23-year-old villager.

1/21/2008 (Narathiwat, Thailand) - A 53-year-old janitor is shot to death in front of a coffee shop.

1/21/2008 (Pattani, Thailand) - Two laborers are murdered in a drive-by attack by Muslim extremists.

1/30/2008 (Yala, Thailand) - Two men, ages 32 and 52, are shot to death by Muslim militants in separate attacks.


Iran's moral police didn't appreciate this woman not wearing a veil and so "honored" her in the usual Muslim tradition of honoring women.


Fifty people died in a Kenyan Church when a pro-Sharia Law Muslim tossed a bomb inside and started a fire.



The Religion of Peace shows its true colors in India.



The Religion of Peace always respects the views of others. 




"Campaigners against the death penalty say execution by stoning is particularly harsh - Iran's penal code stipulates the stones used must be large enough to cause the condemned pain, but not sufficient to kill immediately."  Ain't Iran's Muslim government just full of sweethearts?  Maybe when they get the atomic bomb they will just use it on infidels so it causes us condemned pain but won't kill us immediately.




While members of the Thai government are acting with full humility and busy explaining to Muslim countries how the trouble in southern Thailand is "not about religion" (yeah, right) it is worth remembering that in no Muslim country in the world do non-Muslims have equal rights.  In the above picture, Hindus riot in Malaysia because, among other things, their Hindu temples are being demolished and they are met with tear gas and water guns.  Wouldn't it be nice if the Thai government had some guts and told Muslim nations to stay the fuck out of Thailand's internal affairs and worry about how they treat their minorities?



This is a playground in Vienna, Austria.  Vienna was besieged by Muslim armies (Ottoman Turks) in 1683.  Fortunately for the future of Europe, the city did not fall and the Turks were routed.  As elsewhere in Europe and England, Muslims are on the march again - through immigration.



A Muslim suicide bomber now among the 72 virgins as promised by Islam.  Or should I say "Ichabod Bin Crane-Ali, The Headless Whoresman"?  Get it?  Oh, never mind.  By the way, although the Koran mentions young boys like pearls and all that sensual good stuff for the Muslim martyrs, the virgins are promised in the Hadith, not in the Koran.




Don't criticize Islam, says UN

The United Nations General Assembly in session

"It didn’t attract much notice, but the General Assembly of the United Nations ended the year by passing a disgusting resolution protecting Islam from criticism of its human rights violations.  Lots of non-Muslims voted for it – a sign that more and more corrupt Third World governments are identifying with the ideology of Islam, even if they don't accept its doctrines. The resolution goes under the innocuous title "Combating defamation of religions" – but the text singles out "Islam and Muslims in particular". It expresses "deep concern that Islam is frequently and wrongly associated with human rights violations and terrorism".

Wrongly associated? As of today, terrorists have carried out 10,277 separate attacks since September 11, 2001. They all belong to the same religion, and it ain’t Methodism.

The resolution (which of course makes no mention of the vicious persecution of Christians) was pushed through by the 57-nation Organisation of the Islamic Conference (OIC), which has been agitating for it for years. Naturally every Muslim country was among the 108 supporters, but it’s interesting to note how other countries lined up.  Cuba, China, North Korea and Zimbabwe all voted the same way. I’ll give you one guess."  Daily Telegraph


UK: Bishop Says Muslim Veils Should Be Outlawed

Rochester"The Bishop of Rochester, the Right Reverend Michael Nazir-Ali, aged 57, was the youngest person in the world to become a bishop. He was only 35 when ordained. Brought up in Pakistan as a Catholic, Nazir-Ali became a convert to Protestantism aged 20.

Last month, he made forthright statements about the Muslim face-veil or niqab. He said: "I can see nothing in Islam that prescribes the wearing of a full-face veil. In the supermarket those at the cash tills need to be recognised. Teaching is another context in which society requires recognition and identification."

He also highlighted the way that Muslims have a dual perspective on life, alternating between their often fictitious claims of victimhood (which are as nothing compared to the treatment of non-Muslims in Muslim countries) and their attempts to have dominion over others.

He said then: "Their complaint often boils down to the position that it is always right to intervene when Muslims are victims, as in Bosnia or Kosovo, and always wrong when the Muslims are the oppressors or terrorists, as with the Taliban or in Iraq. Given the world view that has given rise to such grievances, there can never be sufficient appeasement and new demands will continue to be made."

A new, cutting-edge, political TV show challenged Islam with biting humor, placing the face of the prophet Muhammad onto a cookie and then having it eaten on camera.   At least some people are getting fed up with Muslim fanaticism and childish intolerance. 



Islamic terrorists murder more people every day than the Ku Klux Klan has in the last 50 years. (source)



Video (sound): The truth about the African slave trade and how Arabs and Muslims started it and continue it



Try this video (give it time to load):

Very graphic images of what Muslims do to one another in the name of Allah




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