Thailand Nightlife Roundup

Welcome to my website.  Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which might not appear elsewhere.  And to have some fun.

Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that. So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)

There is a contest every two weeks when this column appears and the first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly will receive vouchers worth at least 3,500 baht in food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, Shadow Bar, The Old Dutch, the Big Mango, Electric Blue, The Duke of Wellington pub, and Bourbon Street Restaurant. The prizes will build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get quite interesting.  It will double to 7,000 and, if still no winner, to 10,500, etc.  Second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt.  And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers, waitresses and hostesses).

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Sorry this column is a bit late; I had a lot to do in Florida pertaining to the death of my stepfather.

Coyote Dancers of Thailand.  Incredibly erotic.  Absolutely amazing.

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Massage Parlors in Bangkok

There was a breakdown of the subway system in Bangkok the other day and wouldn't you know it was the day I planned on checking out Colonze 2 Massage down a lane off of Rachadapiset.  So I got stuck in the train but decided to get off early which was a good thing because then I finally checked out the massage in the "Amsterdam" building near Fortune Hotel.  The building is beautiful and I figured it must be some kind of fabulous Gentleman's Club for highrollers.  And so I went in.  Well, it turns out that it was once a finance company's building and now the massage area has a relatively small space downstairs.  There were about 20 plus girls there, a few good looking ones and the rest so so.  I passed people eating and a band playing and huge palm trees with lights along their fronds.  If there had been a tea dance it would no doubt have been like Shanghai in the decadent 1930's.  The whose narrow hallway I was in curved around and there were neon pink signs about "Girls, Girls, Girls."  One of the ladies informed me that the girls massaged for one and a half hours and the prices began at about 3,600 baht and up to 4,000 something.  At other massage parlors the prices are usually lower and there is greater selection so I passed on that but am glad I walked into the place.  It was rather bizarre to say the least so I paid 110 baht for my beer and left.

Then I decided to go check out the Colonze 2 massage parlor farther up Rachadapiset Road about which a friend had raved.  I got there around 9:30.  A friendly place with models of some kind available on the 2nd floor but I chose a masseuse from among about 25 girls downstairs.  The price was 1,600 baht, quite cheap plus it was for a full two hours.  However, as far as quality and number I have yet to see a massage parlor better than Nataree.  One of these days I must get out to the original Colonze on Rama 9th which we pass on the way to the new airport.

I was recently in the massage parlor near Patpong, across the street, on the way to the Montien Hotel.  I forget the name, "J's", I think.  You can find the outside escalator and head on up and in.  I had an enjoyable two hours with a very attractive 27-year-old from Surin.  The price was only 1900 baht but according to the girl it would have been 2500 baht had I not been speaking Thai with one of the managers who I was chatting with while looking at the girls.  Which makes me glad I tipped him 100 baht.  The second fishbowl has supposedly more attractive girls at a higher price but inasmuch as Thai taste differs from ours in feminine pulchritude I found plenty of attractive girls in the first area.  So should you be in the Patpong area, don't be afraid to try this one.

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And here we have Soi Cowboy at 6:45 pm.  Left: Enjoy your beetles and bamboo worms, etc. Center: It is 6:45.  Do you know where your go go dancer is? Right: Work going on outside the Black and White Bar.  From the looks of it, I figured the bar would be closed for some time.  Incredibly, an hour later, the work was done and the bar was back to normal, open for business.

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A FRIEND SENDS THIS FROM PATTAYA

Hot Ice

Yesterday Thong spoiled my plans for a wonderful night by raping me before I could get out the door. Not too many guys would complain about their girlfriend giving them warm, passionate sex. However, in Thailand it can happen. My plan was to slow down on sex with Thong in case an opportunity for sneak mating developed.

Yesterday I took Thong on a very long walk from Pattaya to the end of Jomtien. I even bought her a comfortable pair of running shoes a couple days earlier. I knew that Thong is out of shape, and this long walk would certainly exhaust her. When we got back to the room after dinner, I expected her to nod off while I excused myself to go out for a drink. But no, she de-horned me first. It would have been hard to say, "No, don't touch me." So I left for a night out with greatly diminished prospects. What good is freedom without white gold?

I headed straight for Babydolls, which has become my favorite place in Pattaya, maybe even my favorite place in all of Thailand. It is certainly the most interactive place in all of Pattaya, and stops just short of public copulation. There is a tiny little cushioned side stage
where sets of two naked girls go at it with each other. But the guys huddled around the stage are encouraged to participate. No area of their bodies is off limits. The girls eat each other out and hit each other with foam truncheons, which make a loud whacking sound but do no harm. For a generous tip of 100 Baht ($3.00) the guys can also eat them out and whack them, and last night a couple did. I was a little more reserved (less drunk) and limited my participation to rubbing five pussies and 10 boobs. Actually that is not completely true because two of the girls encouraged me to shove a large ice cube up their pussies. How could I say no? So I would shove the ice cube in and they would pop it out into my hand. We repeated this procedure several times. It's a good way to cool a hotty. But that's all I did.

No, actually that's not true either because two of those girls wanted me to shove my thumb up their pussies as far as it would go and simulate sex, in out, in out, very fast. While I was doing this, a farang lady sat at the stage but I zoned out any potential scorn because I could only concentrate on the serious work I was doing. I must have been going pretty fast because my girl called for more ice to cool off. Only this time I was a little over exuberant and shoved the ice up too far, and it wouldn't come out. That led to some emergency digging procedures. But that's all I really did, just a typical night out.

Well, actually, there was one other thing. This amazing girl with the cutest face, large natural boobs, one pierced, and a sumptuously thin and tattoo-adorned body put an ice cube in her mouth and rubbed her companion's pussy with it. After doing this, she couldn't resist coming up to me and inserting the ice cube in my mouth.  We were sort of locked in a kiss during which the ice cube moved back and forth between our mouths. She did this a couple more times with new ice because it is surprising how fast ice melts when it goes from a hot pussy to two hot mouths.

For baring their bodies and souls these girls expected to be compensated handsomely. Yes, each girl expected a 20 Baht ($0.60) tip. Total for the night's entertainment: 100 Baht ($3.00). Compare this to a U.S. lap dance: 2 minutes, no nudity, no touching, $20. The evening could have been so much more fun if I was horny.  After 1:30 a.m. the bar fine for these uninhibited luscious performers dropped to 300 Baht.  So for a mere $9.00 I could have taken one of these girls to a short time hotel. I must ponder deeply how to placate Thong while securing a bit of freedom with my white gold intact.

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After Dark magazine continues its excellent cultural coverage of the fairer sex in Thailand.

 

Be a bit careful with your cellphones.  A friend of mine had not one but two snatched recently.  Once in a Japanese store in MBK by a pair of clever female thieves (one threw it to the other so even though he caught one there was no evidence and the security staff seemed very uninterested in his problem).  The second time was a real hard grab just as my friend was changing trains at Siam station at the Skytrain.  During a real rush hour, some Thai guy grabbed the phone and case off his belt and jumped on the skytrain and timed it perfectly as the doors closed.  So my friend could do nothing.  My phone is eight years old so I don't worry about it but if you have one of the more expensive varieties, take care!

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Only in Thailand

A friend of mine who speaks fluent Thai was in a go go bar the other night and the owner's wife came up to him and pointed to a dancer on stage.  She asked, "Who's that girl?"  My friend who has barfined just about all the girls and knows them better than the owner told her.  Then she wanted to know where she was from and how long she worked there.  Then she said she looked very young.  So the owner told her to come down and they had a long chat.  Although the girl had said she was 18 it turned out she was considerably younger than that.  So the owner told her she could not dance anymore but would let her work behind the bar.  Fine.  But several hours later the owner realized many of the dancers had been barfined and she needed more dancers.  So she went to the girl and said, "OK, you're a dancer again; get on stage."  Only in Thailand, folks, only in Thailand.

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MOJOS

Of course, the lovely Coyote Dancers of Mojos, Sukhumvit, soi 33

The one above is the one driving me crazy; like I said, I think of her as "the Taser," because like the Taser Gun she renders her victims helpless.  She oooozes sexuality.  And of course the others aren't bad either.  Not one Mojos dancer would I kick out of bed.  Nope, mah mama didn't raise no fool.

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The beautiful black waterfall of a Monet girl, Sukhumvit, soi 33

http://www.ClubElectricBlue.com

Ghaddafi might well be a nutjob but he has all female bodyguards.  Click on the picture and look at the one second from the right.  She is FANTASTIC!  What a woman!  She can be bodyguard by day and dominatrix by night and not even have to change out of her uniform.  Mama mia!  Wish I had her e-mail.  Maybe I should make a trip to Libya.  Sorry if this column is wet but she makes me drool.  Aiiiyaaaaah!

 

I love to buy the Pattaya papers now and then; the headlines about murder, suicide, etc., are all there even though Bangkok English language papers never report them.  Here are a few from a recent issue of the Pattaya Mail:

 

THREE QUESTIONED OVER MURDER OF DUTCHMAN

GRIM FIND FOR WIFE OF GERMAN MAN AS SHE RETURNS HOME DRUNK

FEISTY WIFE PREVENTS THIEVES ROBBING HER HUSBAND

MYSTERY GUNMAN SHOOTS AT FEMALE REPORTER

 

But the best in a recent issue was the book review by Lang Reid in which he mentioned that he saw a Thai chick walking down the street wearing a T-shirt that read: YOU KNOW I CAN'T BE TRUSTED.  How's THAT for honesty!

 

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Coming in one month: Identity Theft, A Novel

 

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Saxaphone

 

 

Yes, you are right, it was traumatic, but I did finally manage to pull myself away from the Sukhumvit area to make it all the way over to Saxophone, the Jazz Club near the Victory Monument.  And, hey, make no mistake, they have talented people playing there.  It was a lot of fun despite the pouring rain.  You'll notice in the second picture above a sweet, innocent Thai girl is attempting to shoot pool while a dirty old man (Thai: tau hua niu) (Cantonese: ham sap lau) is going behind her to do things that dirty old men do.  In the lower pictures we have yet another magnificent Tiger Beer Girl, the same sweet, innocent pool player standing in such a way that makes my, well, never mind all that.  In the last picture we have an obviously inebriated patron holding up one finger while the beer girl is holding up two.  I dare not ask what that was about.

 

 

 

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Khun Nana's Corner

Khun Nana is a savvy local expat who keeps in shape by hitting most of the bars of Nana Plaza as often as possible.  From his vast experience, he will enlighten and entertain us with his recollections of the bar scene be they humorous, tragic or somewhere in between.

One thing I always have loved about living in Thailand is the sense of national pride.  Thais love their country and most would never consider living any place else.  I certainly agree that this is the best place on earth to live.  I chose to retire here and I have enough money to live in any of the 190 countries in the world.  When I narrowed down my choices of retirement destinations it was absolutely no contest.  

I don’t know where I would move to if forced to leave this paradise, as I have found no other country that is even ten percent as enjoyable as here.   Ask any Thai where he would like to holiday if price was no object, and most would name a spot in Thailand.

 
I was chatting with a pleasant fellow who runs an online dating site in Southeast Asia.  His site has ladies from Thailand, Vietnam, Philippines, and several other countries who want to meet foreign men and hopefully get married.  He and his wife interview the ladies via telephone or internet regarding their goals and desires when meeting foreign men.  One very interesting observation he has come away with after 12 years of doing this business is that ladies from every other country but Thailand normally say that they are willing to relocate to their future husbands country, but that Thai ladies invariably say that they would much rather stay in Thailand. 

This fellow’s wife is from the Philippines, and she was less than proud to tell me that ladies from her country are literally dying to move elsewhere.  She said that when asked if they are willing to go to a particular foreign country, the usual comment is “any other place is fine, just get me the  hell out of here.”  Must be a lovely place to live if you are a lady!
 

Last year His Majesty The King celebrated His 80th birthday. Enormous crowds gathered outside of the palace for hopes of catching a glimpse of the esteemed ruler.  The best way I can describe the love that the Thai people feel for His Majesty is to relate the nickname given to Him which is  “Paw” or “Father” as He is everyone’s father.  I was watching television and following the festivities surrounding His birthday and there was an interview with a 23 year old medical student from Chiang Mai province who was amongst the crowd of thousands waiting outside of the palace for hopes of catching a glimpse of His Majesty. This young man was beaming from ear to ear when he said to the reporter “I drove 11 hours straight to get here after taking exams and if I can see Him for even 5 seconds it will be the biggest thrill of my life.”


Last week there was a parade through downtown Bangkok to celebrate the return of the Olympic athletes.  I happened to be in Siam Discovery Center near the middle of the city when huge crowds began to gather lining the main street (Rama 1).  Tens of thousands of Thais came from their offices, schools and homes to wave the Thai flag and show their support for the efforts of the Thai Olympic team.  I entered my favorite restaurant and tried to order my lunch but the place was almost empty.  Suddenly the manger appeared and said “Khun Nana can you watch the cash register for a minute so I can go outside and celebrate?”  I was left alone in the restaurant as every single employee went outside to view the parade.  I guess I have an honest face!


I have been learning Thai language for 6 years now, but I still make mistakes all the time.  It can be extremely frustrating as learning Thai is not like learning another western language.  It has a completely different alphabet, sound structure, and set of tones and method of constructing phrases.  Last week I think I finally made the mistake of mistakes, the epitome of screwing up the language. 

I traveled to Chonburi province to spend the night with one of my favorite University gals who was working as a presenter (“Pretty” the Thais call the hot gals who stand next to products and look hot) at a conference there.  The poor thing was so lonely and had been crying on the phone, never having been outside Bangkok on her own before, so I felt obligated to go and comfort her.  Amazingly, most Thai people have never been alone for any period of time.  Their entire lives they have always lived with either family or friends, and many Thais can’t stand to even stay in their apartments by themselves for more than a few minutes at a time. This is one of the main reasons why Thai gals who travel to another country to stay with a man are almost always miserable.  Well, I must say I received most of the comforting but heck this is Thailand. 

Anyway, we were in her dingy hotel room watching music videos on television and I was very pleased to see that the station had played music for an hour straight with absolutely no commercials.  So I said to her in Thai “chong nii mai mii sopanee” which I thought meant that this channel didn’t have any commercials.  Well, this gal is one of the sweetest and most polite ladies I have ever met in my life so I was a little surprised when she tilted her head, gave me a very strange look and changed the channel.  Geez I thought that an absence of commercial messages was a good thing?  It was at that moment that I realized I hadn’t said “this channel doesn’t have
any commercials” but what I had actually said was “this channel doesn’t have any prostitutes.”  Well, I suppose that also could be a legitimate complaint!

Until next time.  Khun Nana

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Letters from Readers

 

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The episode before this, I think you mentioned the discomfort of one of the upstairs rooms in Cowboy in which there were only benches not beds. This reminded me of Patpong years ago when they still had live shows, and one upstairs bar had a couple practicing their intimacies on top of a motorbike (I think it was a Harley, but I'm not sure of the model). Given the look of concern on the girl's face that they were about to overbalance, the show lacked a certain intensity. Denis P.

 

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1. yes Firefox is bad. That is what happens when something is over hyped (for the current version, they were trying to establish the world record for the largest number of downloads in a given time period. Not sure if they succeeded, but they certainly made a fine mess rushing the product). Here is a nice site where you can keep your bookmarks: (in case you don't know it) http://ma.gnolia.com
You can share bookmarks with anyone there (if you want).
2. thanks for the Paris Review-style interview with Colin Cotterrill. It would be nice to read more with other Asia-based writers. And by the way, I would like to read one with you, about your own writing craft.
3. is there a way to contact Khun Nana? He mentioned once giving some financial advice to someone moving to Thailand, and I would like to bounce some ideas off of him. If possible.
4. also thanks for the Taiwan photos. Ok there are no Taiwanese girls in the pics, but I have found Taiwanese the most alluring of all the Chinese: very pretty, open minded, and so damn nice! I'm still debating the relative merits of Filipinas... would be interesting to hear some more knowledgeable opinions.  Best, Julian

 

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I lost my computer in a lightning storm three weeks ago so today I tried to locate HA (www.deanbarrettthailand.com) on the library computer but you have been filtered out.  So has Davetheravebangkok.com. Dana

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Dana, the librarians in your library obviously have no class or taste! DB

 

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Links You Might Enjoy

A video of a five-minute walk down Soi Cowboy.  Click here and then click "preview videos."

http://www.pbar.info/videos.html

 

Like to check out some bars in Thailand?  Try

http://www.bangkokbarfun.com.

Like to know what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try http://www.bangkokgigguide.com.

Like to know more in depth about what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try this great site:

http://www.bangkokjungle.com.

 

Tired of shoveling snow?  Check out Bangkok's sunshine.

 

Bangkok's weather report.

 

 

 

A great site for listening to Thai Morlan music and other folk music of Southeast Asia.

 

www.monsoon-country.org

 

 

 

A bit of black leather never hurts.  But she does.

 

Our Lady in Black

 

 

 

Like to learn a bit about retiring in Asia?

 

http://www.retiredexpat.com

 

 

 

Maps of all the provinces of Thailand

 

http://www.thailand-guide.org/maps/index.htm

 

 

 

Listen to RadioBangkok.net

 

mms://wma.radiobangkok.net/bangkok32?MSWMExt=.asf

 

 

 

 

Contact Direct Line for Travel Insurance in the UK

 

 

 

A fine independent Pattaya Bookstore:

 

www.canterburytalescafe.com

 

 

Links You Might Not Enjoy

T-Shirt Hell: for lovers of very black humor only. 

http://www.tshirthell.com.

 

Politically incorrect rants and raves from Uncle Fred.

http://www.fredoneverything.net

 

Girlfriends looking for Taliban boyfriends.

Taliban Singles Dating Page

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Do you have a product or service you would like to advertise on this website? You can, you know. In fact, you don’t have to have a product or service at all; you can just send me money. Or perhaps you would like me to plug a product or service that you are involved in? Sure, just send me cash. Be sure, however, to mark the outside envelope:

“Birthday money for Dean Barrett –

Absolutely No Bribe Enclosed

Got feedback to this column?  Got information on Thailand you would like to share?  Happy as a dung beetle to be living in Paradise?  Been ripped off?  Just write me.

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So enter and win 3,500 baht in food and drink vouchers, second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt, courtesy of Peter, PJ and Jason, third prize the usual Nada diddly-squat. As for last column's contest there were of course lots of correct entries regarding five bars near the Silver Dollar bar in Washington Square.  This column's prize is worth 3,500 baht in food and drink vouchers.  Just be the first to tell me where this place in Bangkok is located.  Hint: It is a building along Petchaburi Road.

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That's all for this fortnightly column.  Drop by again.  Explore the rest of the website.  Meanwhile, as the girls used to tell me during the 1960's: "I no lie you, GI, I love you long time; you number one!"  And, remember: nothing says goodbye like a bullet.  And the more people I meet the more bullets I need.

Dean Barrett can be flamed at: deanbarr@loxinfo.co.th

 

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Honor Role of Women Murdered or disfigured by Muslims in

"Honor Killings"

Just one of the many:

 

Zahida Perveen, now with empty eye sockets, is totally dependent on family members since her husband tried to kill her. Zahida at 29, before the malicious attack by her husband. At the time of the attempted honor killing, she was six months pregnant.
Zahida Perveen, now with empty eye sockets, is totally dependent on family members since her husband tried to kill her. Zahida at 29, before the malicious attack by her husband. At the time of the attempted honor killing, she was six months pregnant.
Zahida's husband brutally attacked her alleging she had been unfaithful & brought shame to the family. He cut off her ears, tongue, nose, eyes, & left her for dead. Zahida wore a cloth nose bandage to cover her disfigured face after the attempted honor killing
Zahida's husband brutally attacked her alleging she had been unfaithful & brought shame to the family. He cut off her ears, tongue, nose, eyes, & left her for dead. Zahida wore a cloth nose bandage to cover her disfigured face after the attempted honor killing.
Zahida Parveen had reconstructive surgery in the United States after being badly disfigured by her husband. She received a prosthetic nose and ears and artificial eyes. International Herald Tribune, on 9 May, 2000's publication issued the news. This picture was taken from the same issue
Zahida Parveen had reconstructive surgery in the United States after being badly disfigured by her husband. She received a prosthetic nose and ears and artificial eyes. International Herald Tribune, on 9 May, 2000's publication issued the news. This picture was taken from the same issue.

 

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More News on the "Religion of Peace"

 

The "Religion of Peace" continues to visit Southern Thailand

 

YALA : A school director received serious gunshot wounds in a drive-by shooting in Muang district yesterday afternoon, local police said. Police said Sitthichai Jan-apiban, Ban Krong Pinang school director, 54, was shot by a motorcycle pillion rider while on his way home from the school with his wife. Mr Sitthichai was hit three times while his wife escaped unharmed. Police believed the gun attack might have been the work of a local insurgent group. BKK Post

NARATHIWAT:  A bomb exploded near a security coordination station in Muang district on Monday night. No casualties were reported. Police said the blast took place at a food shop opposite the station. At the time, it was manned by several staff. BKK Post

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Thailand: 2001.  Protesting US in Afghanistan (but never protesting 9/11, etc.)

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The "religion of peace" visits India

 

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While Saudi king promotes interfaith dialogue, Saudi textbooks still teach hatred and intolerance of everything -- and everyone -- non-Islamic:

http://www.jihadwatch.org/archives/021790.php

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Watch Iranians happily bury and stone adulterers to death!

Warning! This is an extremely sick and disgusting punishment, and thus watching this video can make you weak or possibly give you nausea and shock for several days. Please do not watch if you are weak-hearted:

http://www.apostatesofislam.com/media/stoning.htm#video

 

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Muslim terrorist and murderer sues over porn left near his toilet!

 

http://theopinionator.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/08/terrorist-deman.html

 

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“Religion is an insult to human dignity.  With or without it, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things.  But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.”-- by Nobel Laureate physicist Steven Weinberg. 

 

 

19 Muslim hijackers killed more innocents in two hours on September 11th than the number of American criminals executed in the last 65 years. (source)

 

More people are killed by Islamists each year than in all 350 years of the Spanish Inquisition combined. (source)

 

 

 

Some books that tell it like it is!

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Please note, I do not and never would advocate violence against individual Muslims in any community.  For one thing, the guy you beat up with a baseball bat may turn out to have just escaped from some horrible Islamic regime.  Individual violence against Muslims or doing damage to mosques, etc., is just stupid and is also counterproductive as Muslim fanatics will show pictures of that all over the Muslim world to incite people against the West. 

A good case can be made that Islam is a fanatical brotherhood masquerading as a religion, and, indeed, the adherents of Islam often act that way.   But, as individuals, a Muslim neighbor might possibly be more honest than a Christian neighbor.  It is only that the Muslim will have been brought up in a religion/brotherhood with a medieval mindset that is centuries behind the times and has a penchant for violence, especially against those who criticize the Koran and other aspects of Islam.   Winning the war against Muslim fanatics will take a long time and be hard-fought but it can and will be won.  But we must demand that more and more moderate Muslims join the fight against fanatical Muslims.   We must demand that our leaders absolutely reject any "compromise" on our right to free expression.  Compromising with the fanatics pulls the rug out from the Muslim moderates desperately trying to reform and secularize Islam.  And we must never bow to Muslim demands to curb our hard-won freedom of expression.   And freedom of expression always includes satire and even insulting satire including satire of glorified tribal myths called religion. 

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