Thailand Nightlife Roundup


Welcome to my website.  Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which might not appear elsewhere.  And to have some fun.

Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that. So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)

There is a contest every two weeks when this column appears and the first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly will receive vouchers worth at least 3,000 baht in food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, Shadow Bar, The Old Dutch, Electric Blue, The Duke of Wellington pub, and Bourbon Street Restaurant. The prizes will build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get quite interesting.  It will double to 6,000 and, if still no winner, to 9,000, etc.  Second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt.  And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers, waitresses and hostesses).


Please Note: A recent scientific survey concluded that more women with size D-cups read this column than read Stickman's or Dave the Rave's.

One of the fun things to do in this town is to wait until the bar is about to close or even just after.  That is when the girls in the bar may decide to let loose and dance for themselves; just for a spirit of sanuk.  And, sure enough, even in the small CK Sports Bar on Sukhumvit soi 33 (formerly the Shamrock and various other names) the other night the girls felt like dancing and got up on the bar and let it all hang out. 

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I hate to say negative things about places I like but here goes: I like the new Coyote restaurant/bar on Sukhumvit near soi 33.  The decor is imaginative and chic, the girls are attractive and nice, and there are more kinds of frozen margaritas than you can shake a stick at.  Yet all three times I ate there the food sucked.  The Chimichangas shell was so hard it was difficult to cut.  I've had Mexican food the world over and, believe me, these folks don't have it down yet.  Furthermore, there was very little guacamole (avocado relish) on the Chimichangas and the meal was too dry as well as too hard so I asked for a bit more guacamole.  I was given a small container of it and when I went to pay the bill I saw that I had been charged 75 baht!  More than two US dollars!  In New York and elsewhere if you want a bit more salsa or guacamole on your too dry Mexican meal there is no charge; in fact, as in Senor Pico at the Rembrandt Hotel condiment containers are out there for you.  But ask for a bit more salsa at Coyote and you will also be charged 75 baht!  I mentioned this to someone in a nearby pub and he said two guys had told him they also don't like the food there. 

So, until they get their food up to par and stop charging for extras for which there should be no charge, I would suggest going to Coyotes only for a drink and heading off somewhere else for a meal.  (I do love women in cowgirl hats, though.  Nice touch, that.  Why do women in cowgirl hats turn me on?  Maybe because I lived in Blackfoot, Idaho for a year or so when I was about 8 years old and used to go to rodeos a lot?  Or am I sick?  Do I need help?  Should I turn myself in to the proper authorities?  Who the hell are the proper authorities in Thailand?)

Here is a really nice shot of an elephant and mahout on Sukhumvit soi 33 near Christie's bar.  I took it because I know Dana really loves shots of elephants.  It's one of my best elephant shots but, alas, this particular elephant looks a bit worse for wear. (Reminded me of me)

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My friend, San, the always smiling and friendly waitress at Bourbon Street Cafe left Bourbon Street to help a friend with a new spa.  I had a great rubdown, sauna, bath, etc., two hours for 1,200 baht.  So should you be interested in seeing Khun San again and/or having a good spa experience without the usual overpriced gobbledygook you can see San at Himalaya Spa, 94 Ratchaprarop Road, Phayathai, right around the corner from the Indra Hotel.


Soi Cowboy sure is pretty these days - pretty lights, pretty women, and pretty nice.  Although now that Nana Plaza has got its closing times back up to two in the morning, that should help Nana Plaza.  Soi Cowboy is lively but, as always, the smaller bars seem not to be doing that well and some of the ones with the most glaring neon, such as Spice Girls, don't seem to be doing a roaring business.  I hadn't been to Dundee's for a long time and found it pleasant enough as a small soi Cowboy bar and even one or two pretty dancers but they sure do try hard to get you to select a girl to sit with you.  I like bars like Dollhouse because nobody hustles me.  But whoever says this is the so-called low season should try to get a room in a massage parlor on a Saturday night.  At Nataree (Rachadapiset Road) customers and their chosen masseuses had to sit in a small room and wait for rooms to empty.  Massage parlors such as Nataree have customers from all over - Singaporean Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, farangs, Hong Kong Chinese, Thais - you name it.  Kind of like the United Nations except a lot more bang for the buck.

I never thought I could abhor a Thai leader more than I dislike Taksin.  But Samak (he with the porcine features) may yet supplant him.  Taksin at least made some effort to squirm his way out of untruths.  Samak says anything he likes - no matter how untrue or hurtful to others, and without an iota of shame.  Very sad for Thailand.   I hope telling us that the Burmese leaders were good men because they meditate is now coming back to haunt him.

Sometimes God does point the way.  Click on the picture.



A place with dozens of lovely, friendly coyote dancers?  Succulent, curvaceous, bounteous, beautiful Thai women?  Almost no customers on a Friday night at 11 p.m.?  Could there be such a place in existence on this side of Heaven's Gate?  Well, yes, actually, there is.  And am I such a sweetheart of a guy that I would tell you where it is?  Well, no, not if I were living in the West and came upon such a utopian phenomenon.  I would die before I would divulge its location.  But this being Bangkok and there being more beautiful women floating around than lies being told by the present Thai government, what the hell.  Share and share alike, right?  To see the video click here.



Missionaries Beaten Up by Tourist

Two Jehovah’s Witness missionaries got beaten up on the 12th March whilst trying to preach their message and convert the locals over to their faith.  

Where is this you might ask?  Afghanistan?  Iran? Hollywood?   No, of all places it was here in sunny Pattaya.  A group of mainly American missionaries began spreading their message outside a famous shopping mall on Beach Road, when one of them a Mr. Tony Webb was confronted by a disbeliever who told him that they should respect the law of the land and the fact that Thailand was mainly Buddhist.  This did not deter the saintly sextet and they carried on with their preaching.  Well, our disbeliever now got a bit angry and so punched the preacher man in the face and as Mr. Webb did not respond, he set upon another in the group, and started beating up 23 year old Henry Thompson, who also turned the other cheek.   Bored, the disbeliever went on his merry way and the crowd just gathered around puzzled and amused as the preachers carried on regardless.

The above article and photograph are from the Pattaya People newspaper.  They say a tourist did this, I assume they mean a farang.  I don't like missionaries but I wouldn't go so far as to punch anybody.  Just move on.  But there they are: continuing their message while blood streaks down their shirts.  (Click on the picture.)  And these guys are built like body builders, same ones we see in Bangkok.  They must have a rule to turn the other cheek.  I feel sorry for them because I fear that someday when they are old and grey they will look back and say, oh, my God, I had a chance to bed some of the most beautiful women in the world - I was right there! - and I stood around babbling glorified tribal myths surrounding a non-existent Santa Claus in the sky.  Sad.


Oh, what the hell, if I'm going to pinch one article from the Pattaya People newspaper I may as well pinch two.  In for a dime, in for a dollar.  In for an HJ in for a BJ.



Tit for Tat at Police Station

Pattaya Police received a very novel case on the morning of the 27th April when a Norwegian tourist and two Thai women entered the station after an incident involving the three at an apartment block in Soi Buakhao. 

Mr. Kim Klanstav claimed that he asked an acquaintance, Ms. Lakkhana aged 18, to find him a girl to play games with that evening.  This she did by providing a young lady named Som.  However, after a game of tiddly winks, the Norwegian called Ms. Lakkhana to complain that his mobile phone was missing and he refused to pay any service charges.  Not only that but he called the police to investigate the theft.  When searched, they found nothing on Ms. Som.  But they were all taken back to the station for further questioning because it turned out that not only would Ms. Som file a complaint against him but also that he had sex with a minor; it turns out that Ms. Som is nearly 16 years old.  Ooops!

Right.  Well, if you click on the picture you'll wonder how anybody with an IQ above a dying geranium would not be a bit suspicious of this chick, Ms. Som, being a bit less than the legal age.  When I first saw the photo I thought it was a farang father with his Thai wife behind him and their daughter sitting next to him.  And this guy called the police!  Duh!  One would like to think this guy is not representative of Norwegian men. 


Have you ever wondered what your kid does when you're not around and the baby sitter falls asleep?  Not to worry - Same thing you do.


This from BBC in Burma on the deportation of a producer and cameraman: "Just before they dumped them on the plane one of the intelligence officers began complaining to Arito about his workload. It is hard to feel sorry for a man who works for one of the most repressive regimes on the planet when he tells you he has to do long hours." 


Isn't it interesting how universities and the government are dead-set against anything sexy but never worry about corruption, which of course is what really tarnishes Thailand's image abroad.  This from the Nation about Thammasat University campuses: "Tight blouses and short skirts were unconditionally banned in both campuses, he said. Other clothes to be forbidden include revealing or too tight or sleeveless blouses or T-shirts. Shorts or skirts too high above knee level will be banned, while males must not wear shorts above the knee, pajamas, sleeveless shirts to lecture rooms or entering the premises."

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Khun Nana's Corner

Khun Nana is a savvy local expat who keeps in shape by hitting most of the bars of Nana Plaza as often as possible.  From his vast experience, he will enlighten and entertain us with his recollections of the bar scene be they humorous, tragic or somewhere in between. 

Living in Paradise it is very easy to start developing an inflated opinion of yourself.  After all, having tens of thousands of gorgeous young gals to choose from, a love life that makes James Bond seem puritanical, and being treated like royalty everywhere you go does begin to get to a guys head.  Most importantly, Thai gals have a unique way of making every guy feel like he is the most special person on the planet.  Time seems to stand still when one is in the company of a gentle, demure, angelic Thai lady.  Life does have a way of bringing you down to earth from time to time though.

Recently I spent some time with a stunning little 35kg. (77 pounds) stunner who was so small I was (almost) afraid to do the horizontal mambo with her.  I am not saying I am the most well endowed guy in the world, but this girl was TINY.  When she removed her clothes and placed them gently on my sofa, her tiny little blue jeans looked like they would fit a Barbie Doll.  She was 20 years old, but easily could have passed for 15.  Her incredibly petite hand totally disappeared inside of mine.  No doubt if I brought her back to Antisepticville (USA) I would be arrested at the airport immediately upon landing. 

Well, during what began as an ordinary love making session I suddenly couldn’t resist the urge to become much more energetic.  I really thought I went way too hard on the poor little thing.  I just couldn’t resist, she was sooo tiny it brought out the beast in me.  When we were finished I went to the bathroom panting and perspiring, and while cleaning up I started to feel a little guilty.  This gal would easily fit in the overhead storage compartment on an airplane and I had to pound her that hard?  What’s wrong with me?  The little darling is probably going to be sore for a week.  I am a pathetic animal and should be ashamed of myself.  I hope she is OK.  Maybe I should give her an extra 500 baht for the punishment she accepted so graciously? 

Imagine my shock when I returned to the bedroom and she was gleefully jumping up and down on the bed like it was a trampoline all excited because her favorite cartoon was on the television.  I asked her if she was alright, and she responded “of course, why wouldn’t I be?”  Err; I guess I am not the animal I thought I was.  She hardly felt a thing!  The humiliation didn’t stop there.  I begrudgingly told the story to my mates and the next time we were all sitting on our favorite perch at the entrance to Nana Plaza she came bounding in as free as a bird.  Well, no one can wind one up like an Englishman and my best mate is English so the barbs started.  “Look, it’s the Bouncy girl!  She lives!  What powers of recovery she must possess.  Geez, you must have given her the best three minutes of her life.”  Humble pie is best eaten cold.

Political correctness in the West has taken on a whole new meaning.  I received an email the other day from a lovely woman who used to work with me back in the U.S.  She related a story that would have absolutely convinced me to never live there again, if I hadn’t already reached that conclusion on my own.  The office Christmas party was approaching and the management sent a memo to all of the staff concerning proper behavior at the upcoming gathering.  It gave examples of what kind of language could be construed as sexual harassment.  One such example stated that it was appropriate to say “that is a lovely dress you are wearing” but totally inappropriate to say “you look lovely in that dress.”  Are they completely insane back there?  I give my friend Veronica credit, she marched right into the manager’s office with the memo in her hand, placed it on his desk and said “you can have your party without me.  I am going to stay home with my husband and son and teach my boy what it used to be like to be a man in this country.”  I think the men are taking this crap more seriously than the women.

I have a mate who loves Thailand every bit as much as I do.  We had a really interesting conversation the other day concerning his employment situation.  He works for a large international company and is quite high up in the organization already.  He found out recently that a man in a higher position in Los Angeles had recently resigned and the inside word was that my friend was being considered for a promotion into the vacated position.  Instead of being happy about what would inevitably be a huge increase in salary, he began plotting how he could be removed from the short list of candidates for the new job.  When I asked him why he was doing this (as if I really needed to) he said that his entire career his aim had been to work hard enough to keep his current dream job in Bangkok, but not hard enough to be promoted and sent to a boring western country.   He knows that even on an enormous salary, he could never have this playboy lifestyle in any other country.  He is currently asking friends on the inside to circulate rumors to the powers-to-be that he is competent but not worthy of promotion.  This guy has his priorities!

Until next time.  Khun Nana

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“If sex was knowledge, and I believed it was, I was on the verge of knowing everything.” – My Other Life, Paul Theroux


Andrew Hicks, the author of Thai Girl, has come out with a new book on Thailand describing living with his Thai wife in the countryside.  I like books like this because the closest I get to the countryside in Thailand is walking from the Long Gun to Suzie Wong bar on soi Cowboy.  Well, that's not quite true but I do admire guys who make a go of it "upcountry".  I used to live in Manhattan and I love plays and bookstores and I guess the truth is I am a City Boy but like many of us I have the fantasy of living with a cute angelic Thai woman younger than myself (as the years pass, almost all of them are younger than me, I notice to my horror) and making a go of it with her family and buffalo and ducks and pigs and fish and the heat and countryside Thai food and the vagaries of the weather and the greed of the middlemen when I try to sell my rice and, well, like I say, I'm pretty sure I'm a city boy.  Anyway, here is a blurb about the book.  I haven't read the book yet but it should be a fun read.  (Click on the cover and, like magic, the cover gets bigger!  I call it the 'Viagra Effect.')

There are many ‘culture shock’ handbooks written for foreigners settling in Thailand but another way to get an authentic flavor of living in the Kingdom is to read a new book just released called, “My Thai Girl and I”. Written by Andrew Hicks, author of the successful novel, “Thai Girl”, it describes how he met his Thai wife Cat and how they set up home together in her village in the North East of Thailand.

The many lessons to be learned are amusingly told, that smiles can mean a thousand things, that yes can sometimes means no and nothing is ever what it seems. Building a new house involves a thousand crises and compromises and running a thirty year old jeep can turn into a nightmare.  Lavishly illustrated, this is the story of
five years in the lives of two people who are as different as can be but offer each other the same thing, namely a totally new start in life. For the author, an older man used to the comforts of city living, there are many lessons to be learned and moving to live in the real rural Thailand presents many challenges.

How Andrew coped with these challenges, struggled with his own cultural assumptions and learned ‘to go with the flow’ will amuse and enlighten those who long for a slower way of life and contemplate retirement in Thailand.




I recently returned from the States on a 17 and 1/2 hour non-stop flight aboard Thai Airways.  It was a good flight because I managed to save up enough for the Economy Premium which is much better than economy.  Still, whatever I do, and no matter how many sleeping pills I take, I still get horrible jetlag which lasts for ten days if not more, only sloooowly getting better.  It starts by waking up at three in the morning and only gradually do I start waking up a bit later, etc.  This time I am happy to say my jetlag wasn't so bad as previous trips thanks to the "shock and awe" techniques of the doms at Chateau Jade.  So, thanks, ladies, for your unorthodox method of curing my jetlag while curing (for a while) my bad behavior at the same time.  (A kind of two for one deal.)  (I'll bet Andrew Hicks can't do that where he lives.)


Did you know Hillary's Sniper proof shirt is available on the Internet?  When bullets fly, you'll wish you had one.  Get yours today.




Just when I thought the incredibly self-absorbed, self-pitying, self-centered Four Bimbos were thankfully gone from the horizon, now a movie about their pathetic lives comes out, Sex and the City.  I lived in New York City for 14 years and the idea that this bimbo chick could afford a decent apartment in Manhattan while writing a stupid, banal, clichéd, hackneyed column about - you guessed it - relationships, makes me want to vomit. 


A recent article in the Times mentioned that some young women were moving to New York thinking that they could do the same thing as vapid-faced "Carrie" but then reality sets in.  No, Virginia, I have no fear of "liberated women," it's just that watching four spoiled bimbos gossiping about men and shoes and sex is not my idea of a great TV program.  But it certainly did titillate the American masses who apparently found it daring.  God, what a boring society it must be if this silly crap is considered daring.  ("Daring" is when you tell Mistress Tahn while she's holding her black, hand-died, single-tailed, kangaroo-hide whip that she couldn't hit the broadside of a barn on her best day - now that's daring.  Well, yeah, also suicidal, that too.) 


And if you've seen the plight of women around the world, the horrible way they are treated under Islam, the fetid slums and toxic garbage dumps some women have to paw through each day to find something of value to sell, and if you've seen Cambodian women's bodies being piled up over a fence; women who starved to death or died of disease as I saw at the Cambodian border at Ban Tap Prik refugee camp during the Vietnamese invasion, then watching self-absorbed Western bimbos with indoor plumbing and flush toilets and air-conditioners and full refrigerators and support groups complain about anything simply makes my blood boil.  I suppose (if I knew any) a learned Latin phrase could sum it up but for now this cobbled-together word will have to do: FacehExitaBimbainaeternum.  "Bimbo get out of my face forever."


Watch out you Muzzies - here she comes!




Speaking about her writing, she said: "It has stopped, I don't have any energy any more. This is why I keep telling anyone younger than me, don't imagine you'll have it forever. Use it while you've got it because it'll go, it's sliding away like water down a plughole."               

            - Doris Lessing, 88, Nobel Prize winner for Literature.

The lady is right, of course, but I could make a few suggestions for uppers if she's interested.



I went to two birthday parties recently.  The first, on Soi Cowboy, was for Khun Om, a very sexy go go dancer indeed.  The second, at Chateau Jade, was for Mistress Oh.  Of course, Mistress Than, performing the neat trick of holding the cake and phoning at the same time, is the one you click on to get into this column.  (I didn't have to go to the party; it was just that I could either go or get the shit beat out of me.)




From the New York Times


"Obama, on the other hand, may seem esoteric, and sometimes looks haughty or put-upon when he should merely offer that ensorcelling smile."  Ensorcelling?  As faithful readers of this column know, I like to read the NY Times and find words like "ensorcelling" so that I can use them in my own writing and sound learned myself.  And kind of adapt the word into a Thailand-mode.  My on-line dictionary says:
Middle French ensorceler, alteration of Old French ensorcerer, from en- + -sorcerer, from sorcier, sorcer sorcerer — more at sorcery
Date: circa 1541.  Bewitch Enchant.

So here's my best shot with "ensorcelling":  "When I walked into the bar with the 1,000-baht note glued to my forehead, Good Pork Betty's granddaughter gave me an ensorcelling smile."  or "As the tourist at Nana Plaza walked into Obsessions Bar, unaware of the true nature of the place, the tom at the door dressed to the nines gave him an ensorcelling smile."  Samak said the Burmese generals are good men who meditate.  Someone standing nearby bent over, dropped his trousers, and gave him an ensorcelling smile."  Can you do better?  


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Bangkok Post: Caught Red-handed!

I have often spoken of the dishonesty of the Bangkok Post and of their fanatic Muslim columnist.  Just in case you thought I was exaggerating, read these two letters to the Post.  It says it all:

Re: "Pata defends 'quality over quantity' event," Bangkok Post, May 5. I am not addressing you in my capacity as President and CEO of Pata - the Pacific Asia Travel Association - but in my capacity as a subscriber to the Bangkok Post. In recent weeks, your readership has been treated to five lengthy articles by your columnist Imtiaz Muqbil, predicting with great fervour (and often claiming 'insider information') that our new event, the "Pata CEO Challenge" was going to be a failure.

On the eve of the event, his titillating headline read: "Pata conference poised to flop" (BP, April 28). I chose not to respond until after the event, which took place April 29-30. Today, I am pleased to set the record straight: strengthened by the evidence from a detailed survey that was completed by most of the 230 participants - senior leaders in the global travel and tourism industry - nearly 97% of the delegates rated the event as "good, very good or excellent", with the "excellent" category getting the most votes.

More than 8 in 10 delegates said the event provided a solid overview of ways to tackle "climate change" issues, and nearly two-thirds felt they had obtained practical ideas to apply in their own organisations. Three-quarters of the delegates described the event as "good value for money" and a solid 81% said they would attend a future "Challenge".

Furthermore, partner organisations Capa (Centre for Asia Pacific Aviation) and BHN (Burba Hotel Network) and our local hosts, the Tourism Authority of Thailand, agree that the event far surpassed their ambitious expectations.

Now, my issue is not with Mr Muqbil: he cannot help himself. My issue is with the Bangkok Post: it failed to disclose that Mr Muqbil is a former paid writer for Pata, whom Pata had to dismiss after a conflict about his performance.  When a reputable newspaper repeatedly provides a public platform for a columnist to criticise the internal affairs or events of a company or organisation, it needs to "come clean" and state that the columnist previously enjoyed a remunerated relationship with the organisation he writes about.

That is journalism's "Ethics 101" and the Bangkok Post failed the test. Not providing such disclosure is disrespectful to your readers, to whom you did a disservice: you knowingly omitted useful context to the biased opinions of a disgruntled, former paid writer, who is in persistent denial about a highly successful organisation and event. Had Mr Muqbil's inspiring headline read, "Bangkok columnist poised to flop," he would have been spot on. For once.



Re: Peter de Jong's letter, "Pata CEO Challenge a resounding success" (Postbag, May 8). If what he says is true, I am shocked at the paper and the columnist for not revealing the inherent conflict of interest of formerly having been a paid writer for the Pacific Asia Travel Association. If Imtiaz Muqbil was a paid writer while on staff at the Bangkok Post, he should be summarily fired. If he is a guest columnist then his columns should no longer be welcome in the Post if it wants to retain any semblance of integrity.  As a former newspaper reporter and editor myself, your columnist has breached one of the most important ethics and rules of journalism. I, for one, won't be reading any more of his columns.

I applaud Mr de Jong for letting the truth be known, because I had read those pieces myself and was wondering what this writer's biased fascination with Pata was about. Now I know, thanks to the Post's open letters policy. That, too, I applaud.



Great letters and very revealing of "The Newspaper You Can Trust."  However, the Post letters are not "open".  As I wrote in a previous column, when a group of Pro-Palestinian white guys rudely attempted to hijack a talk from an Israeli professor at the FCCT the Post allowed Imtiaz to give a very distorted version (Imtiaz wasn't even there; I was there, I know). 

I wrote to correct it using my real name.  My letter was not published but they did publish one with a pseudonym which agreed with Imtiaz.  Their policy they say is to give preference to those who use their real name.  It is not.  In addition to going down on their knees to Taksin after he came to power and even firing their own editor because he wasn't pro-Taksin enough, their policy regarding Imtiaz has been extremely dishonest.  I suspect they published Peter de Jong's letter because of who he is and they felt they had no choice. 

Although most reputable newspapers do not allow columnists to respond outside of their column, I notice the Post always allows Imtiaz to respond in the letters to the editor column as well.  Neither he nor the Post addressed the main issue: the fact that a so-called journalist dumped on PATA five columns in a row but readers were not told that the columnist had been fired by PATA and he bore a grudge.  I don't expect professionalism at the Post but I do note that seldom if ever did they print my response to a feminazi or to anyone else.  I guess you have to be a Muslim fanatic and pro-Palestinian to be sure of getting your letter into the Post.  Newspapers like the Post are the first to demand fair play and press freedom from the government but don't ask them to give fair play in their own newspaper.

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99 Words for Boobs

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I finally got my act together and gathered a lot of my Cambodia material onto one page of this website.  So if you have any interest in Cambodia just click here.














Fabled Angkor:  Of course the temple ruins at Angkor are magnificent and worth a trip any time of the year.  Even the way the tree roots are destroying the temples is dramatic.  Angkor Wat itself is fantastic but I also loved the many-faced Bayon.  I've been here twice and once during the hot season.  Believe me, when some of these pictures were taken, the sweat was pouring down my face.  Give yourself plenty of time to see things.  Once you've gone all that way, you don't want to find out later that you missed something interesting.  And take plenty of water and a hat with you!


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Letters from Readers



Hi Dean,   My son was telling me that this year there was a lot of extreme violence during the Songgran celebrations, and that he personally twice helped rescue people who had been knocked to the ground and were being viciously stomped by other revelers -- in the second case a group of girls beating up another girl.  He's never seen anything so extreme in previous holidays.   Peter




Peter, Makes me even happier that I plan my trips out of the Land of Smiles during Songgran.  Change the "n" to "m" and you have Songgram, the Thai word for war.  It has been similar to a war for several years.  Some people love it and report only good experiences; others come upon scenes such as your son did.  I'll take Loy Krathong any day.



Hello Mr. Always Late and You Know Who You Are:   Ok, I did not want to go down this road but I am only human and I have cracked.  Once again the column is late.  It is almost the fifteenth of the month in Boston which means in Bangkok it must be around the sixteenth or the seventeenth or the eighteenth of the same month (celestial navigation was my hobby so you ain't foolin' me Somchai Barrett).  So the column is late again and not by incompetence but by design.  Incompetence could not so unerringly  make the column late every month for nigh on eleven years.  It is by design.  I know the work of the Devil when I see it and I see it here. 

I have consulted the United Nations and the International House of Pancakes and the League of Nations and the IMS (International Monger Society) and the Black Russians and the Pink Ladies and Boss Hogg and Trink and the front desk clerk at the Mothership with the silver bracelets up to her elbows and this is what has been decided: 

From now on you must bring the column out one day early and then one day earlier than that every month until you have made up your lateness deficit.  Fair is fair and this way you will be making up for your indifference and your devil ways to your loyal leadership; and you will be working on your karma account, and you will be . . . look you little jolly scribbler; just bring the column out early and even earlier every month until we notify you to stop. 

 And we want more pictures of Fon.  Boy when it comes to pictures of Fon you are a dribbler instead of a shooter.  Must be your age.  We know you have boxes full of them.  Let us see them.   

Sincerely yours,  A Fan Whose Name You Will Never Guess




Ah, yes, I think I do understand your problem, Khun Dana.  You see, my column comes out on the 15th here in LOS, usually in the afternoon.  Which would mean that your Eastern Standard Time would have it at one day early or on time.  It could not possibly be late where you are.  But, as I said, I think now, in light of your recent letters, I understand your problem.  You see, you obviously exist outside the normal space-time continuum which the rest of us inhabit and therefore, being inside your own personal space-time continuum, your sense of time and space does not always coincide with that of others.  You have, undoubtedly, heard suggestions to this effect by those in the medical profession, perhaps. 


Is it possible you were at some time a member of Scientology?  Because I discern a certain similar mindset when I look at the smile on the face of Tom Cruise and when I read one of your letters.  A kind of eerie transcendence manifests itself and One Step Beyond music begins to play as when one's network of neural fibers misfires.  But I shall certainly endeavor to pick up the pace, as it were, and get the column out a bit earlier.  And, indeed, I shall see if we cannot round up more pictures of the lovely Fon.  But give me time.  And space.




Links You Might Enjoy

A video of a five-minute walk down Soi Cowboy.  Click here and then click "preview videos."


Like to check out some bars in Thailand?  Try

Like to know what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try

Like to know more in depth about what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try this great site:


Tired of shoveling snow?  Check out Bangkok's sunshine.


Bangkok's weather report.




A great site for listening to Thai Morlan music and other folk music of Southeast Asia.




A bit of black leather never hurts.  But she does.


Our Lady in Black




Like to learn a bit about retiring in Asia?




Maps of all the provinces of Thailand




Listen to







Contact Direct Line for Travel Insurance in the UK




A fine independent Pattaya Bookstore:



Links You Might Not Enjoy

T-Shirt Hell: for lovers of very black humor only.


Politically incorrect rants and raves from Uncle Fred.


Girlfriends looking for Taliban boyfriends.

Taliban Singles Dating Page


Do you have a product or service you would like to advertise on this website? You can, you know. In fact, you don’t have to have a product or service at all; you can just send me money. Or perhaps you would like me to plug a product or service that you are involved in? Sure, just send me cash. Be sure, however, to mark the outside envelope:

“Birthday money for Dean Barrett –

Absolutely No Bribe Enclosed

Got feedback to this column?  Got information on Thailand you would like to share?  Happy as a dung beetle to be living in Paradise?  Been ripped off?  Just write me.


So enter and win 3,000 baht in food and drink vouchers, second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt, courtesy of Peter, PJ and Jason, third prize the usual Nada diddly-squat. As for last column's contest to caption the picture below, the winner is (drum roll) "British archaeologists celebrate the discovery of the Viking Vibrator."  Second is "The cloning machine works!". 

This column's prize is worth 3,000 baht in food and drink vouchers.  Just be the first to tell me where you saw the sexy woman at right before. 



That's all for this fortnightly column.  Drop by again.  Explore the rest of the website.  Meanwhile, as the girls used to tell me during the 1960's: "I no lie you, GI, I love you long time; you number one!"  And, remember: nothing says goodbye like a bullet.  And the more people I meet the more bullets I need.

Dean Barrett can be flamed at:



More News on the "Religion of Peace"




The "Religion of Peace" continues to visit Southern Thailand


4/27/2008 (Narathiwat, Thailand) - Two men in their 30's are shot to death in separate Mujahideen attacks.

4/30/2008 (Pattani, Thailand) - Islamic bombers kill three policemen after luring them to their deaths.

4/30/2008 Thailand Pattani - A middle-aged man is shot, then burned to death by the Religion of Peace.

5/2/2008 Thailand Pattani - Islamists open fire on a group of Buddhists, killing at least one.

5/3/2008 (Yala, Thailand) - Islamists shoot a 47-year-old man to death as he is buying milk.

5/5/2008 (Narathiwat, Thailand) - Three young girls are among a dozen injured when Islamists plant a bomb in front of a house.

5/7/2008 (Yala, Thailand) - A wood factory worker is brutally murdered by Muslim gunmen.

A short 16 minute movie.  Recently released.  Banned on many websites.  The man who made the film is under police protection:




Here is a very short video showing Muslim fanatics pushing back British police and surrounding them.  In London!  This is now happening throughout Europe thanks to political correctness and the cowardice of their leaders when it comes to immigration policies and kowtowing to Islam.  It may be too late for Europe which is why the Canadian Mark Steyn wrote the book America Alone:






"More violence and crime by followers of the Religion of Peace who continue their ruthless "pack" attacks against lone, and often young, victims.

Though the police would like us to believe this is an "unusual" incident - this blog and many others daily cite murders, beatings, rapes, thefts, fraud and other crimes committed by Muslims - both in the UK and around the world. Can anyone remember the last week or day that newspapers did NOT carry stories of Muslim or "Asian" killings and/or other crimes?

Clearly this attack was premeditated and just required a lone victim - it was 16 year old lad, David Proctor's misfortune that he was the "chosen one".  Young David, walking home alone after treatment for his asthma, likely had 10 years of multicultural propaganda swirling around in his brain when he when he felt comfortable enough, at 1 AM, to stop and ask directions from an "Asian" man. This "good samaritan" Asian man immediately beckoned to his fellow Muslim thugs and the beating and theft began. Though Muslim cabbies refuse to pick up disabled people's service dogs - saying dogs are "unclean" - these thugs had no problem using a dog (likely mistreated and pulled from a Muslim run dogfighting kennel) to terrorize a 16 year old boy.

Clearly the attack went even further as the stripping of the boy was intended to cause humiliation - beating and robbery were not enough for these belly crawling Muslim hoodlums. This act of humiliation falls into the Muslim mindset towards the kaffir - or "infidel".

The truth is that these types of attacks are happening with stepped-up frequency yet the police and politicians still want us to believe that this is "unusual". Until the police can be more honest and directly address the Muslim crime wave in the UK - without being stymied by political correctness - we can anticipate more and more of the same. The safety of the British people must return to the priority it once held prior to the Muslim colonization." - The Opinionator


Muslim terrorism in southern Thailand continues to get worse.


Letter to the Bangkok Post

(which, of course, they wouldn't print)

Dear Sir, In his letter to the editor to the Bangkok Post, Nick Ferriman of the "Palestine Solidarity Campaign Thailand" makes a number of one-sided claims in favor of the Palestinians.  It is strange that no one in this group ever mentions the fact that the present leaders of Gaza fire rockets at civilian targets in Israel, state openly that their goal is not peace with Israel but to destroy it, and treat fleeing Christian Palestinians the way Muslims always treat minorities, i.e., very badly.  They also seem to forget that many Palestinians fled because their leaders told them they would soon drive Israel into the sea and then they could return.  They also seem to forget that Arab states regard Palestinians as the dogs of the Middle East but use them as leverage against Israel.  Inside Israel, Arab Israelis have the right to citizenship and the right to vote and the right to run for office, whereas Palestinians in such countries as Lebanon and Syria have often been harassed and discriminated against. I wonder if members of this "Palestine Solidarity Campaign" were the same people who very rudely attempted to hijack the talk given by an Israeli at the Foreign Correspondents Club of Thailand not long ago?  If so, I wonder if they expect better treatment when they have their panel discussions.  Dean Barrett


    "If you can't sell the country on the need for new energy sources when your present ones are funding your enemies, when can you?  Yet, five years on from September 11 and after a torrent of information on Saudi funding of the jihad, America had changed its policy to Riyadh only to this degree: we're lavishing even more dough on them than we did before.  The oil revenue collected by the House of Saud not only buys off their subjects but buys up other countries' subjects around the world.  Americans are paying for the rope that will hang them."  Mark Steyn, America Alone


Excellent books written by those who speak the truth about Islam


Never forget the many women killed in Muslim male"honor" killings, as the two girls above were.  By a Muslim male.  Their father!  In Texas!  Why?  They wanted to date American men and live like Americans.  Fuck Islam!



Unbelievable but true: Some British schools no longer allow mention of the Holocaust because it might offend Muslims:




In "moderate" Indonesia Christians are so harassed by Muslims that they have abandoned their churches and are holding services inside shopping malls where they feel safer:  "Shopping malls in West Java are home to a growing number of Christian congregations. There are 10 in this mall alone. Few of them want to talk publicly about why they are here, but off the record they admit it comes down to intimidation by Muslim groups. According to Church groups more than 100 churches have faced attack or intimidation in the past two years. "  BBC News




Muslims never criticize other Muslims no matter how horrendous their crimes.




Girl, 17, killed in Iraq for loving a British Soldier

"A 17-year-old Iraqi girl was murdered by her father in an honour killing after falling in love with a British soldier she met while working on an aid programme in Basra, it has been claimed.   Rand Abdel-Qader was stamped upon, suffocated and stabbed by her father, then given an unceremonious burial to emphasise her disgrace. Police released her father without charge two hours after his arrest.

"Not much can be done when we have an honour killing case," said Sergeant Ali Jabbar of Basra police. "You are in a Muslim society and women should live under religious laws. The father has very good contacts inside the Basra government and it wasn't hard for him to be released and what he did to be forgotten."

A total of 47 young women died in honour killings in the city last year, Basra Security Committee told an investigation into Ms Abdel-Qader's case by The Observer. This is believed to be the only case of an honour killing involving a British soldier.  The MoD had no official advice for troops on how to behave with Iraqi women. The serviceman involved would not have been told that any relationship with her could put her life at risk, the paper said.

Ms Abdel-Qader, a student of English at Basra University, had struck up a friendship with a 22-year-old British infantryman known only as Paul five months before her murder in March.   She was believed to have last seen him in January, and the pair, whose relationship was innocent, only ever met while working at the aid station.  The soldier was helping deliver relief to displaced families as part of his regimental duties. Ms Abdel-Qader was a volunteer worker.

On the day her father, Abdel-Qader Ali, was told of their friendship by a friend, he accused her of having an affair with a British soldier and killed her in front of his wife, Leila Hussain, and their sons.   "I screamed and called out for her two brothers so they could get their father away from her. But when he told them the reason, instead of saving her they helped him end her life," Ms Hussain said.  She then left her husband and has since divorced him.  She has received threats from her husband's family and is in hiding She now works for an organisation campaigning against honour killings."   The Independent



Theo van Gogh, the descendant of Theo van Gogh, brother of the famous artist Vincent van Gogh, was murdered by - you guessed it - a Muslim who didn't like Submission, his film about how Muslims mistreat women: "(The Muslim named Bouyeri) shot him eight times with an HS 2000 handgun, and Van Gogh died on the spot. Bouyeri then cut Van Gogh's throat, nearly decapitating him, and stabbed him in the chest. Two knives were left implanted in his torso, one attaching a five-page note to his body. The note (Text) threatened Western governments, Jews and Ayaan Hirsi Ali (who went into hiding)." Wikipedia



For the second time in two months (57 yr old Canon Michael Ainsworth was attacked by "Asians" this past March) an East End London clergy has been attacked and beaten by Muslim thugs.The Reverend Kevin Scully was attacked in his churchyard as a hate-filled revenge attack for the priest stopping Muslim youths from the disrespectful if not blasphemous act of using the church's Christian cross as a basketball hoop some three days prior to the attack. The three Muslim scum returned to exact their revenge and inflict their violent hate on the Reverend who was attacked then punched and kicked leaving the lone priest cowering on the ground before he could run for help. A man, passing by, tried to help Reverend Scully, the good Samaritan was also beaten. The priest fled into his church where he feared the thugs would follow and continue the beating. A clear case of a Muslim hate crime?

Immediately the police and even the battered Reverend went into apology mode making excuses for the Muslim teens.

Even though the Ainsworth/first beating was classified as a "hate crime", the police quickly decided that this latest incident was just an assault and not a hate crime - surely one would have to think that just the act of disrespecting the crucifix showed contempt for the Christian religion nevermind the savage beating of the priest or the fact that the priest stated he had been taunted about his religion. Even Reverend Scully spoke a tirade of implausible excuses and tried to take the blame off of the culprits. With two black eyes and a multitude of cuts and bruises, Mr Scully blamed the the "anti-social" nature of the area, the Muslim's consumption of alcohol and felt it is a "community" problem not a policing issue - everything but those that committed the crime.  Uncited was the fact that the area does have high level of Muslim residents but clearly the priest doesn't want to admit the blatant hate crime or the problems of being a Christian church in a predominately Muslim neighborhood.

As long as the police and the clergy choose to ignore the obvious - that such crimes are indeed hate crimes committed by Muslims toward the Christian religion and the representatives of that religion - we can expect more such unrepentant assaults.  The Opinionator




Please note, I do not and never would advocate violence again individual Muslims in any community.  For one thing, the guy you beat up with a baseball bat may turn out to have just escaped from some horrible Islamic regime.  Individual violence against Muslims or doing damage to mosques, etc., is just stupid and is also counterproductive as Muslim fanatics will show pictures of that all over the Muslim world to incite people against the West. 

A good case can be made that Islam is a fanatical brotherhood masquerading as a religion, and, indeed, the adherents of Islam often act that way.   But, as individuals, a Muslim neighbor might possibly be more honest than a Christian neighbor.  It is only that the Muslim will have been brought up in a religion/brotherhood with a medieval mindset that is centuries behind the times and has a penchant for violence, especially against those who criticize the Koran and other aspects of Islam.   Winning the war against Muslim fanatics will take a long time and be hard-fought but it can and will be won.  But we must demand that more and more moderate Muslims join the fight against fanatical Muslims.   We must demand that our leaders absolutely reject any "compromise" on our right to free expression.  And we must never bow to Muslim demands to curb our hard-won freedom of expression.   And freedom of expression always includes satire and even insulting satire including satire of religion. 

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