THAILAND NIGHTLIFE REVIEW

 

 

Welcome to my website.  Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which might not appear elsewhere.  And to have some fun.

Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that. So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)

There is a contest every two weeks when this column appears and the first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly will receive vouchers worth at least 3,500 baht in food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, Shadow Bar, The Old Dutch, the Big Mango, Electric Blue, The Duke of Wellington pub, and Bourbon Street Restaurant. The prizes will build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get quite interesting.  It will double to 7,000 and, if still no winner, to 10,500, etc.  Second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt.  And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers, waitresses and hostesses).

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JR REPORTS FROM PATTAYA

I was in Pattaya recently for a week so my time for a thorough environmental scan was limited. One thing that was easy to notice is that the town is empty. During high season, baht busses travel with loads of passengers. Now many empty baht busses cruise down Beach Road desperately searching for riders. I heard that the occupancy rate at the Royal Cliff Beach Resort was less than 20%. I went to investigate and found that they were still fixing the huge glass doors at their conference center, which were broken recently in a political demonstration that disrupted a summit of Asian heads of state. Tourists are really wimpy these days, letting a little riot by a couple thousand angry protesters alter their vacation plans. Be assured that the protesters are all back on their farms tending their rice paddies. The red shirt protesters were even complimented by local businesses. As they came storming down Pratamnak Road, there was no collateral damage to stores or hotels as is usually the case with Western protests. Incidentally, I was amazed to learn that the Royal Cliff Beach Resort has 10 restaurants. That could have been a good culinary summit at the least.   

I have some sad news. Kinnaree Place Gentleman’s Club off Pratamnak Road has closed. This was a crushing blow to all the married men in the area who liked to sneak out to Kinnaree for a little afternoon dalliance. The good news is that many of the Kinnaree women have moved to a new place on Pratamnak Road just down from the park on Golden Buddha Hill. The place is called the Stork Club, which in my opinion is not a good name for a gentleman’s club because storks are associated with babies and babies are the last thing a man wants to think about when entering a gentleman’s club.  

A new, large, upscale shopping complex has opened between Beach Road and Second Road. It’s full of many modern, brightly-lit stores selling the usual stuff: clothes, electronics, etc. The complex is called Central Festival, and in front of it on Beach Road is a new Brazilian churrascaria restaurant where many types of meat are brought to your table and carved off a spit. Churrascaria restaurants are a meat lover’s paradise. I stopped by not to OD on meat but to OD on caipirinhas, a potent Brazilian drink, only they were not as potent in this restaurant as in Brazil. Soon the caipirinhas became irrelevant as two beautiful, dark-skinned Brazilian women came by me and introduced themselves as they were heading out of the bar. They were performers who put on a Brazilian dance show every night, except Wednesday, from 7:30 to 10:00 p.m. Now what could be better than sitting in an open air Brazilian restaurant located in Thailand, gorging on meat, getting shit-faced on caipirinhas and watching two scantily-dressed Brazilian women defying the laws physics with their hips as they danced to the pulsating sounds of a Brazilian samba? I could OD on that.   

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I have a question

I have a master's degree in Asian Studies and am well-read and well-travelled.  In the military I was a Chinese linguist and cleared top secret - cryptographic. I like to think I am reasonably intelligent.  But the thing is I don't know what "Digg this space" is; I don't know what "add to delicious" means; I don't know what "Mixx this article" means; I don't have a clue what "add to StumbledUpon" means; I don't know what "add to Reddit" means; I don't know what "Seed this article" means; I don't know what "propeller this page means" (if I push the logo does the page spin around?); I don't know what "add to Furl" means.  And a lot more...  My question is: Am I stupid?

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NEW YORK DAILY NEWS (beware of angry ex-wives):

"King fu" star David Carradine, found dead in a Bangkok hotel room with a rope around his genitals, was a fan of "potentially deadly" kinky sex acts, his ex-wife claimed in court papers.  Her 2003 filing - which also claimed Carradine and a close relative shared an incestuous relationship - was uncovered Friday by TheSmokingGun.com as authorities investigated his mysterious death...

Carradine's sexual peccadilloes were the focus of a divorce filing by his ex-wife, Marina Anderson. In Los Angeles Superior Court documents, Anderson described his erotic antics.  Carradine groped her in public and encouraged her to flash strangers by pulling her top off, the filing said. He also enjoyed the company of "people of questionable character," the court papers continued.

"It was the continuation of abhorant [sic] and deviant sexual behavior which was potentially deadly," Anderson's filing said. In addition, Carradine's "deviate behavior includes an incestuous relationship with a very close family member, which permeated our marriage," she wrote.

Anderson said their four-year marriage left her suffering posttraumatic stress disorder, like a soldier returning from a combat zone. Her filing was supposed to be sealed, but was mistakenly placed with public court documents, TheSmokingGun.com reported."

NEW YORK POST: "The last time Carradine visited the shop was a week before he died. He placed an order for bondage DVDs and lingerie and told Arazy he'd pick them up when he got back from Thailand, she said.

Carradine said Annie wasn't into bondage, according to Arazy. Men who enjoy the kinky sex play, but are in a relationship with someone who doesn't, often bring in a "specialist" to help tie them up, she added.

"There must have been someone else in the room," Arazy said, referring to Carradine's final night in Bangkok."

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Carradine was staying at the Swisshotel Nai Lert Park where my books are available in the lobby kiosk.  Considering the nature of some of them at first I worried that one of them might be found next to his bed and I might get called in by the boys in brown.  So it is reassuring to know that he was into fun and games and needed no prodding from writers.  I'm not so sure what he was up to was part of his mystical Eastern Philosophical Wisdom which he spewed on the TV series and I don't wish to indulge in that kind of dangerous sexual game.  On the other hand, considering that readers of this column have to click on a Thai dominatrix just to get in, criticizing another for "aberrant behavior" would certainly make me the world's biggest hypocrite (except for more than a few Thai politicians). But, in the Land of Beautiful, Available Women, why go into a closet and muck about with a shoelace?  In any case, I have speculated in a short piece about where I might one day end up in Bangkok.  If you haven't read it, it is on the Articles and Stories page of this website and the title is We Regret to Inform You.  Anyway, David, RIP.
 

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Harlan Ellison  - When I used to live in Hong Kong as a writer/photographer (among other things) I remember once getting a call from a Cantonese chick working in a very large PR firm.  Her clients included Dow Chemical and lots of huge companies.  She said something about needing photographs for something and ended up by saying they really had no budget left and "could I help them out?"  So I asked her if she was working for a salary or just helping out her company?  And did she expect to pay for food and clothes when shopping or were they helping her out?  If she expected to pay for everything else, what made her think she could ask a photographer to give her work for free?  Duh.  Anyway, the bad boy of science fiction writing, Harlan Ellison, has a fantastic 3 1/2 minute rant on YouTube about assholes who expected him to help them out.  I love it and I think you will too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj5IV23g-fE

 

 

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Very often when I make a phone call on my cell, I get a brief message that says "You have active diverts".  I asked two computer-savvy people what that means and they admitted they haven't a clue either and always wondered about that.  Anybody out there know?

 

 

 

Mojo's Lovely Cheers has a birthday!

 

 

 

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Thoreau: “A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.”

 

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THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE

I saw the original of this movie over 30 years ago and it has been redone and is out now or just coming out.  The first one was good but I suspect this may be better.  I hope the ending has changed.  I remember Walter Matthau pointing a gun at the bad guy at the end.  The bad guy was a ways away from him along the subway tracks, with a gun in his hand, facing away.  He was also an expert with a gun.  Matthau had him covered and therefore had the upper hand.  Well, if you've had even Weapons Training 101 you know that the bad guy with the skill is in a much better position than Matthau who was not an expert with a weapon.  So the ending was unrealistic, at least to me.  Anyway, see the new one on the disk; remember, films are often cut in Thai cinemas, so unless you're simply hoping to pick up some chick at the movies, you're better off buying the disk. 

 

Click on Pictures above and below

 

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After Dark magazine

 

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As it is a pretty safe bet that most readers of this column have yet to buy my book The Go Go Dancer who Stole My Viagra & other Poetical Tragedies of Thailand I have decided to post one of the poems from the book from time to time.  Some of the poems are serious and some are for fun. 

 

The Letter Writer

 

He lives in Northeast Thailand with a wife as dark as his moods.

Outside, night has fallen, the rains have stopped,

Beneath a starry sky and nearly full moon, endless rows of rice glisten like green jade.

From his wife’s vegetable gardens and

flooded rice fields

crickets and frogs serenade.

 

His third wife (this time a Thai) urges him to

go outside and sit with her beneath the

canopy of the rain trees

and enjoy the clear, clean air

and beautiful breeze

and the fragrant smell.

But the old Englishman can’t be bothered to now

Bloody Hell!

 

He’s on his fourth beer after dinner and he’s

where he often is after dinner

hunched over his computer, beady eyes focused on the screen

his double chins wet with perspiration

his beer-clouded brain set with inspiration

His beefy fingers yellow with nicotine.

 

His tight-fitting shirt with the sweat-stained armpits sticks to his beer belly like fervent kisses

and threatens to tear apart as he angrily swipes

at a daring mosquito but misses

because of the dim light;

dim because Thais don’t know how to do anything right

Bloody Hell!

 

His pension check is late

because probably the Thais stole it or lost it at the

local post office

and that fills him with hate

or the incompetents in London’s post office might have done so

because now they let lots of foreigners work there as well

Bloody Hell!

  

And his wife

not so young anymore

nor afraid to complain

is getting to be a bore

and a real pain

and he has to suffer the smell of her favorite dish

papaya salad

and the stench of fermented fish

Bloody Hell!

 

She never asks

but she could use a new blouse and

a bit of help around the house.

She has had what seems like a lifetime of his moods

but he sits in the semi-darkness and broods

and writes his latest letter to the editor

of an English language paper in Bangkok

another one about arrogant Yanks and how they’re getting what they deserve

full of snide remarks and clever as well

he’ll show the bastards!

Although they didn’t publish his last one

Bloody Hell!

 

As he types

his anger rises

and floods his veins like rains flood the ricefields

and he thinks of all that he despises

but suddenly his face changes, his eyes have a strange stare

as if there’s someone there or

as if he sees something very unusual which he never saw before

and he slowly rises from his desk

his beefy hand clutching at the pain in his chest

but he doesn’t make it to the door.

 

The temple chimney issues its dark smoke

as black as was his moods

and his widow grasps the ash-filled urn

as if it is the key

which will turn the lock

and set her free.

 

His old mates from the local pub

assure their friend’s widow

that he’s gone to a better place

a place where angels dwell.

  

She nods solemnly

but cannot not hide the trace

of a smile on her face

as she murmurs

Bloody Hell!

 

                                                                                                                 

                                    

 

 

Why I didn't get a tattoo.

by

PS


A while ago I was considering a tattoo.  A psychologist might attribute this to a mid-life crisis.   But I’m not sure I believe in the concept of a mid-life crisis. It strikes me that it’s a term used by middle-aged women to try and explain why their husbands don’t want to be trapped in a boring home, with a boring job, with a boring and no-longer-sexy middle-aged woman, instead of running away to Thailand to live out their years in drunken, sexed-up contentment.

Maybe a better term than ‘mid-life crisis’ would be ‘common sense’. 

But we farang are in truth far too hard on Western women. The fact is that most eighteen year-old men find eighteen-year-old women attractive. And as men get older and reach their twenties, most men still find eighteen-year-old women attractive. And as men get older still and reach their forties, do the objects of their desire age correspondingly? No. Most forty-year-old men still find eighteen-year-old women attractive.   And some of them control these attractions, subvert them, and build model railways, collect stamps, or grow vegetables.

 Others freak out one day in Tesco and run from their trolleys packed with high-fiber cereals and low-fat milk, screaming for a life that (to quote American Beauty) “doesn’t so closely resemble hell”.  And some of these have a short-lived affair with the lollipop lady. (British readers will understand this reference).   Others come to Thailand.  But maybe the woman too would like to surf away on her ironing board to a place where someone will tell her that she is beautiful, that her saggy tits are attractive in their culture, that wrinkles are a sign of experience and wisdom, that grey hair is a turn-on, and that cellulite is something that people pay to have implanted.  Africa maybe? I don’t know.  

 Back to the concept of a tattoo.  The desire was there. I wanted a tattoo.  But what should the tattoo be of?  I thought it might be cool to register a Universal Product Code (or UPC) as myself, and then be tattooed with the appropriate barcode. Thus I could be scanned, and my identity would pop up at cash tills. However, I found out that apparently barcode tattoos are far from unique and in fact rather passé – also that whilst tattooists can create impressive dragons and eagles with extraordinary detail, they couldn’t guarantee the accurate scannability of a barcode, and that it’s entirely possible I could end up as a pack of six toilet rolls or a can of Spam.  I then thought that maybe I would get a tattoo with a big heart and the name Noy. The name Noy is common enough in Thailand that one could pretty much always find a girlfriend called Noy, and therefore never have to go through the embarrassment of having to have it laser removed. But what if you then fall in love with a girl called Lek?

 I then thought about having the eyes and ears of an elephant tattooed around my penis – thus creating a sort of trunk effect. But to undergo all that pain for a visual joke that one could share with so few people, and given that such humor would be evoked at a time when in fact one might prefer passion instead of hilarity, this idea too was rejected.  But then I started to think about the sort of tattoos that are created in monasteries by the Thai monks. These not only look sort of timeless and cool, but also demonstrate one’s commitment to Thailand and its customs, brings one closer to the true spirit of Thainess, and allows one to explore ones own inner spirituality.  And apparently they ward off bullets and bad curses and all sorts of other shit.

 But then something changed my mind.  Working with a Thai crew, we needed to carry a heavy crate about ten yards across a courtyard. Halfway suspended across the courtyard was a clothesline. My two Thai colleagues seemed very uneasy and ultimately unwilling to pick up the crate. Finally they explained that they both had temple tattoos.   I still didn’t understand.

They explained that they couldn’t pass underneath the clothesline, because this would not only dissipate all the power that their tattoos gave them, but even possibly create some sort of negative energy that would weaken them.  But it seemed a slightly obscure belief.

They explained that a woman’s undergarments are often hung on a clothesline, and that nothing in Thai society is considered more taboo and disgusting than a woman’s knickers. No woman will ever allow another to wash her knickers, and for a man to wash them would be somewhat akin to jumping in front of Thai bus.  They further explained that the man’s head must never be below a woman’s waist.   I think you can probably guess already what concerns were growing in my head.

 If a man’s head couldn’t be lower than a woman’s waist, did that not preclude the possibility of cunnilingus. I’m not sure what the official Thai is for ‘cunnilingus’, but the phrase meaning to ‘lick an oyster’, is the common slang.  Please understand that these two Thai men were not effete artists, or Californian girly-men. These were big guys – Thai working men with roving eyes and limbs, guys who would think nothing of a five-hundred baht quickie behind the train station.  And yet the thought of orally pleasuring a woman turned their faces into masks of shock and disgust.

 Please understand that what I’m telling you is crucial information for the understanding of Thai-western relations.  Thai men do not go down on women!  Or at least, I’ve never yet found one who will admit it.  And believe me, I was so shocked by this information, I have asked many Thai men – taxi drivers, barbers, customs officers…

 So I have developed a theory.  When you ask a woman if she likes Thai men or western men, and the woman answers:  “I like farang. No like Thai men. Thai men too many ladies. Playboy too much.”  They are not telling the whole truth.  What they really mean is:  “I like farang. No like Thai men. Thai men no go down on me. Think pussy bad. Who the fuck wants that?”

 Thai men do not stand a chance. And until they realize this, we have an enormous advantage.  Because it is many farang’s dream to kiss a woman from head to toe, and most particularly half-way.  My research in the field has also confirmed that many Thai women have no experience of being pleasured orally.  As my head has gradually moved south, and reached a girl’s belly button, too many girls have slapped their hands over their pubic mound with a shocked reaction as they begin to figure out what I have in mind.  And as my lips kiss their soft thighs, their journey upwards finds only the girl’s fingers tightly covering their pudenda. 

But at the same time, their fear and shock is almost always equally matched by curiosity, and it generally doesn’t take a tremendous amount of persuasion to peel the fingers one by one away from the treasure they conceal.  But, the act of cunnilingus is often misinterpreted. It is sometimes seen as a sort of selfless act by a man – an act entirely devoted to bringing pleasure to the woman, an act of almost charitable proportions.   Well, I don’t blame men for trying to gain some sort of sexual currency through the act of cunnilingus. There is often the implication that if a man goes down on a woman, it is purely for the woman’s pleasure, utterly unselfishly, and thus a woman really should feel somehow indebted, and when the man asks for some small, strange, and slightly disgusting favour in return, the woman should feel obliged to reciprocate.   “For goodness sake! I went down on you for twenty minutes yesterday. Do you have any idea how horrible it is down there? But did I grumble? No. I did it for you darling. I did it to make you happy. And now when I ask for just one little thing to make me happy, you won’t help out. You don’t even love me that much. I’ve told you that it won’t hurt for more than a couple of hours…”

And historically throughout time, men have successfully brainwashed women into thinking that their pussies are dirty, horrible malodorous things that bleed and pee and excrete vile substances.   And it all works in our favour.  But since no woman would ever be seen dead reading this pervy little website, can we, just between us men, acknowledge that this is crap.

There is nothing on the planet as extraordinary and mysterious and unique as the pussy.  And the even more amazing this is that they’re all different – every single one. You will never ever find two the same. I’ve never investigated identical twins, but I’m told that even on identical twins, the vaginas are discernibly different.  That’s why we can’t stop looking at them. That’s why there will never come a time when a man says,  “No, I’ve seen what a pussy looks like. I really don’t need to see any more.”  

Every one is different.   And I want to see them all. I want to get up close and stick my nose in there and see exactly what’s going on. I want to publish a book, just of pictures of pussies. Don’t tell me it wouldn’t be a best seller.  And another thing.  They all taste different.  Some are coppery, like licking on a handful of coins, whereas others are sweeter like a velvety custard.  Why in books do they so often describe the ‘musky’ scent.  What the hell is musky?  The dictionary describes ‘musky’ as ‘or of like musk’.  And musk is “a substance secreted in a glandular sac under the skin of the abdomen of the male musk deer

Excuse me, but I’ve never met a musk deer, and even if I did meet one on a dark night, I probably wouldn’t go sniffing around his glandular sac.  So please, quit with the musky!  Some girls are so brainwashed to think that their private parts are also their most disgusting parts, that they shower obsessively before sex, which is such a pity, as any natural flavours are utterly masked by the artificial odor of Dove soap.  But what a delight when a girl doesn’t ask for a towel for the dreaded shower, but instead can be taken just as she is, with a day’s scent upon her, and all the pent-up excretions can be swallowed up by our willing tongues.  Am I going too far with this? Have I lost some of you?  What I’m trying to question is this:  Is it not true that the act of cunnilingus is pretty much as selfish as just about everything else that we do?   Is it not true that we couldn’t really care whether they’re enjoying it or not, as long as we get a mouthful of hot snatch?  Is it not true that when they twitch and buck, it pleases us, but only because it adds to our pleasure, and we don’t really give too much thought to theirs.

 But anyway…

Keep it to yourselves.

And for God’s sake don’t tell Thai men!

 

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Khun Nana's Corner

Khun Nana is a savvy local expat who keeps in shape by hitting most of the bars of Nana Plaza as often as possible.  From his vast experience, he will enlighten and entertain us with his recollections of the bar scene be they humorous, tragic or somewhere in between.

One complaint I repeatedly hear from guys who hang out in the naughty nightlife bars a lot is that the Thai bargirls are perpetual liars.  I have never found this to be the case, and so this past week I did some soul searching and analysis in an attempt to figure out why so many other guys are experiencing this problem, while it has really been a non-issue for me.  It suddenly came to mind that people in general will do almost anything to keep their flow of income intact and if one is giving a lot of money to a bargirl, or she feels that you are a good prospect to do so, she will feel the need to say or do whatever is necessary to keep (or start) the money flowing.  Heck, I would do exactly the same thing if I were in their position. 

I remember many years ago when I was burdened with a boring accounting job back in antisepticville.  One time I completely forgot about a certain report that I was instructed to complete, and when my boss entered my office and asked why I had yet to finish it, I made up some lie about my printer jamming, or my computer having a virus or some crap like that.  Why you ask?  Because this man had the power to cut off my money flow and I had screwed up big time and needed to say or do whatever was necessary to insure that I still had a stinking job. 

The bargirls know that I am not going to barfine them, and that I am just a local friend to chat with while awaiting a real customer to walk in the door.  Therefore they have absolutely no need to lie to me and we can chat away endlessly about what is going on in our lives and at least they have a cola and a friend to keep them occupied until that great white whale enters the room.  It is absolutely amazing the things they will tell you when they know you will never be giving them any real money. 

Just the other night, a gal was jabbering away to me in nearly perfect Thai (she is obviously not from upcountry) about how she had three farang (foreign) husbands and that all three had built her a house.  Amazingly, she said all this while sitting on another guy’s lap, and when I asked her if he was one of the three she said “no, but I could always use a fourth house!”   The little tart.  I must admit that I admire her work ethic. 

Another bar gal explained to me the notion of exaggerating requests by using a doubling factor.  This little heartbreaker told me in detail how the unofficial bar gal handbook says that anytime you ask a customer for money in regard to a specific debt, double the amount that you actually need, and then if he only gives you half of the amount you are already home free.  She said that asking for more than twice the amount would sound unrealistic, and requesting only the required amount could result in a shortfall. 

Soon after she explained this particular scheme to me, I stumbled into an opportunity to test out her axiom.  While sitting at my favorite perch in Golden beer bar near Nana Hotel I overheard one of the cute little vixens telling a regular customer of hers that she had a mobile phone bill that was overdue, and unless she paid it this week, there was a good chance her service would be cutoff and he would be unable to contact her outside of the bar.  Sounded like a sound scheme to me, as this guy had taken her nearly every time he came to Bangkok and he certainly had the look of victim in his eyes.  She proceeded to tell him that the invoice was for 2500 baht, and within seconds he had reached into his pocket and forked over the money.  Moments later she walked toward the bathroom and I cornered her outside of his field of vision and asked her to tell me the truth about the invoice.  She excitedly removed an invoice from her jeans pocket and low and behold it was 1200 baht.  The doubling rule is alive and well. 

Right now it is the beginning of the real “low season” in Thailand for tourism and also the start of the rainy season.  Don’t be fooled by all the bullshit lies in the foreign press, or even worse by the crap advice given in the politically correct guide books.  There is no better time to come drink beer and chase women in the naughty bars than right now.  There are thousands of willing gals, very few customers, and many great deals to be had as far as food and accommodation.  Plan a trip for anytime between June and September and you will have the time of your life being absolutely spoiled for choice when it comes to the hot women.  Now I wonder why the Tourism folks in Thailand have never asked me to be a spokesperson??

Until next time.  Khun Nana

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http://www.ClubElectricBlue.com

Two friends of mine went to Patpong and visited an upstairs bar.  They've lived here a long time and are aware that some of the bars are ripoffs.  Nevertheless, the bar they were in was OK, no problems, they paid and left.  As they were heading downstairs one of them met a girl he knew and she suggested the three of them go to another upstairs bar.  They did.  The bar was shit, maybe five girls, boring, etc., but they each had a beer and bought the girl a drink.  What the bill came it was for - you guessed it! - 3,400 baht.  One of my friends ranted and raved and the girl calmed him down and said, what do you want to pay.  So my friends left 300 baht and got out.  Why people go to upstairs bars in Patpong is beyond me.

 

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The Thai baht keeps getting stronger, no matter how screwed up Thailand gets; the rain never stops; and the Thai government seems determined to come up with more and more anti-farang laws and regulations.  So maybe I should take a short break and fly off somewhere.  But last time I did that I went to Macau and came back with what was to be at least six weeks of bronchitis.  Who knows what I'll bring back next time?

Another friend of mine met a lady at one of the Coyote Clubs and he bought her a couple of drinks.  So they discussed meeting the next day.  The girl started talking about how she wanted to quit the scene and get married and have children.  She indicated he could be the lucky man.  My friend wondered, "Shouldn't we at least have lunch first?"

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Letters from Readers

 

 

Dean: FYI: the photo is of an Air America Huey on the roof of a hotel in Saigon.  Air America kept flying after the chickenshit state department ordered the US military to stop all flights.  When the state dept heard that Air America was continuing to fly and ferry civilians to the US ships off the coast.  They ordered the captains of the ships to arrest the Air America pilots when they landed and have the seamen on board push the Air America helicopters into the sea.  Cheers from God's waiting room.  Rock

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Hi, Dean, There were two items that I thought you would find of interest:  First, I pulled a 22 year old Isaan girl out of a Nana bar.  She told me that had been working at the go go  bar for 11 months.  Before working in the bar, she worked in an electronics firm and had a Thai boyfriend who worked at the same firm.  Unknown to her, the Thai boyfriend also had a wife.  When she found out, her family was scandalized and she had to quit her job at the electronic firm.  Then she went to work at the go go bar.  I asked if her family had a problem with her working at a go go bar.  No she responded, my family knows many girls that obtained Farang boyfriends working at go go bars.  

 

Second,  In Pattaya, I pulled a 19 year old go go girl who was convinced that her English was horrible (actually it was fine).  I asked her why.  She responded that a Farang woman had purchased a lady drink for her and started asking her some questions.  After a few minutes the Farang woman sneered you cannot speak English at all and walked out in a huff.  A Farang woman in action: Isn’t it beautiful (in twisted surrealistic Femnazi sort of way). Cheers, SY

 

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Links You Might Enjoy

A video of a five-minute walk down Soi Cowboy.  Click here and then click "preview videos."

http://www.pbar.info/videos.html

 

Like to check out some bars in Thailand?  Try

http://www.bangkokbarfun.com.

Like to know what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try http://www.bangkokgigguide.com.

Like to know more in depth about what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try this great site:

http://www.bangkokjungle.com.

 

Tired of shoveling snow?  Check out Bangkok's sunshine.

 

Bangkok's weather report.

 

 

 

A great site for listening to Thai Morlan music and other folk music of Southeast Asia.

 

www.monsoon-country.org

 

 

 

A bit of black leather never hurts.  But she does.

 

Our Lady in Black

 

 

 

Like to learn a bit about retiring in Asia?

 

http://www.retiredexpat.com

 

 

 

Maps of all the provinces of Thailand

 

http://www.thailand-guide.org/maps/index.htm

 

 

 

Listen to RadioBangkok.net

 

mms://wma.radiobangkok.net/bangkok32?MSWMExt=.asf

 

 

 

Helping Kids in Thailand

 

Helping Thai Kids

 

 

 

A fine independent Pattaya Bookstore:

 

www.canterburytalescafe.com

 

 

Links You Might Not Enjoy

Politically incorrect rants and raves from Uncle Fred.

http://www.fredoneverything.net

 

Girlfriends looking for Taliban boyfriends.

Taliban Singles Dating Page

 

Very satirical writing and videos.

http://www.thenoseonyourface.com

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Do you have a product or service you would like to advertise on this website? You can, you know. In fact, you don’t have to have a product or service at all; you can just send me money. Or perhaps you would like me to plug a product or service that you are involved in? Sure, just send me cash. Be sure, however, to mark the outside envelope:

“Birthday money for Dean Barrett –

Absolutely No Bribe Enclosed

Got feedback to this column?  Got information on Thailand you would like to share?  Happy as a dung beetle to be living in Paradise?  Been ripped off?  Just write me.

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CONTEST

Enter and win a prize! This contest's first prize is worth 3,500 baht in food and drink vouchers.  The first to give the correct answer wins the vouchers; second wins the sexy shirt; third wins the sexy calendar.

     First prize:        Vouchers for food and drink from bars, pubs and restaurants in Bangkok

     Second prize:       Nifty shirt with the "I Support Single Moms" slogan

     Third prize:        Sexy calendar with Pattaya go go dancers, from After Dark magazine

     Fourth prize:       Nada Diddly-Squat Special 4 U, U number ten!

 

 

Winners of last column's best caption:

I said, "I want a BLOW JOB--NOT a snow job!!!"

F*** It, I shave my head and STILL suffer from Dandruff

The blocked sink at Lolita's was becoming a problem."
 

 

New Contest: Give me the best humorous caption for this picture.

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That's all for this fortnightly column.  Drop by again.  Explore the rest of the website.  Meanwhile, as the girls used to tell me during the 1960's: "I no lie you, GI, I love you long time; you number one!"  And, remember: nothing says goodbye like a bullet.  And the more people I meet the more bullets I need.

Dean Barrett can be flamed at: deanbarr@loxinfo.co.th

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"At least one thing seems certain: against people who are ready to die in the cause of destroying freedom, people who are not willing to speak up for freedom for fear of being called a racist or an Islamophobe don't stand much chance of victory."

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More News on the "Religion of Peace"

 

The "Religion of Peace" continues to visit Southern Thailand

 

 

Click on Pictures to Enlarge

 

June 4, 2009, Narathiwat, Thailand : Insurgents have brutally shot dead a pregnant woman as "retribution" for authoritarian policies, police say.  The woman, eight months' pregnant, was one of two teachers slain in the attack on Tuesday evening.

June 5, 2009:  Bombs were detonated in the southern border provinces of Yala and Narathiwat on Thursday morning, wounding three policemen and two teachers.  In Yala, a roadside bomb exploded as a group of police escorting teachers went past, injuring three policemen.  Another bomb went off behind the Su-ngai Padi train station in Narathiwat, injuring two women teachers.

BKK Post: "The latest incident has brought to 113 the number of teachers killed in the violence-prone deep South over the past five years. This number includes dozens of Muslims. During the same period, about 300 schools have been torched, many of them completely razed."

Nation:  "Narathiwat - Two sisters who are teachers at a school here were severely injured when insurgents detonated a roadside bomb to attack a group of teachers on their way to school."

BKK Post:  7 June, 2009:  "Three people have been killed and 26 injured in suspected insurgent shooting and bomb attacks in Yala and Narathiwat provinces."

 

BKK Post:  8 June, 2009:  "Seven soldiers were wounded in a bomb detonated by suspected insurgents in the southern province of Narathiwat on Tuesday morning."

 

BBC News:  9 June, 2009:  "Suspected militants carrying assault rifles have killed at least 10 people and wounded 12 more in a mosque in southern Thailand."

 

Nation:  12 June 2009,  "Narathiwat - A Buddhist couple were killed in a drive-by shooting in this southern border province when they were selling fresh foods Thursday."

 

Nation:  12 June 2009,  "Yala - A Buddhist monk was shot dead and another severely injured while they were collecting alms here Friday morning.  Police said a pillion rider armed with AK-47 assault rifle fired at the two monks while they were collecting alms in Ban Klong Sai Nai in Tambon Talupoh in Muang district at 6:15 am.  Phra Sombat Srisuwan, 60, died at the scene. Phra Thawatchai Chaiman, 24, was injured."

 

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Over 3,650 Thais including monks and teachers and children have been murdered by Muslims in Southern Thailand and

over 45 Thais have been beheaded including Buddhist monks

 

 

Atrocities committed by Muslims used to be mainly in submissive Europe; more and more it is happening in America.

 

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USA:  Muslim Kills an American Soldier in Arkansas

http://www.fox16.com/news/local/story/UPDATE-Suspect-pleads-not-guilty-in-soldiers-death/t9nphLyF6E-IgzORO8kHow.cspx

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USA: Ohio Muslim Stabs Female College Student and Flees into Mosque

 

 

 

http://islaminaction08.blogspot.com/2009/06/ohiofemale-stabbed-by-muslim-who-fled.html

 

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USA: San Diego Muslim Shoots Christian in Argument over Religion

 

 

http://islaminaction08.blogspot.com/2009/06/san-diegochristian-shot-by-muslim-over.html

 

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USA:  Fear in America:  Cowardly Tennessean Cancels Anti-Jihad Conference

 

 

 

http://www.tennessean.com/article/20090530/NEWS01/905300331/1006/NEWS01/Nashville+hotel+drops+jihad+conference+over+safety+concerns

 

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USA: Georgia: "Not Guilty in the Eyes of Allah"

Moments after his son was convicted Wednesday of a terrorism conspiracy, Syed Riaz Ahmed said the young man never harmed anyone and committed nothing more than thought crimes.  “You think something and you’re guilty of something,” said Ahmed, somber and weary as he stood outside a federal courtroom. “He’s not guilty of any crimes in the eyes of Allah. He’s guilty of U.S. laws.”  During a brief hearing, U.S. District Judge Bill Duffey pronounced Syed Haris Ahmed, a former Georgia Tech student, guilty of conspiring to provide material support to terrorists here and overseas. He will be sentenced later this year.

Stop Honorcide!

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Muslim Barbarians Kill a British Hostage

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/04/world/africa/04hostage.html?_r=1&hp

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Muslim Hypocrisy & Discrimination

In Egypt "the capital of the Islamic World, where Mr. Obama has chosen to deliver his speech," CCC states, "Muslims seeking to convert to Christianity or to any other faith are not permitted to do so. Christians need presidential decrees to build new churches and governor's approval to repair existing ones. There have been instances where Christians were arrested for praying in their homes without a permit." Furthermore, the Coptic organization claims that there are quotas limiting the hiring of Christians in some professions in Egypt.

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Mohammad Playing with his Six-year-old Bride to Be

The so-called Prophet Muhammad Married a six-year-old named Aisha and had Sex with the girl by the time she was nine (if not before).  Mohammad ordered the death of two poets who mocked him as well as killed many others.  The Koran is full of hate for non-believers which it equates with "evil-doers."  Islam is not a religion: it is a fanatical brotherhood and hate-filled ideology.  The West continues to ignore the fact that Islam is a clear and present danger to anyone who believes in free speech, an independent judiciary, free press, etc., etc.  Self-censorship is now being practiced in Europe and America to appease Muslims.  The more Muslims a country lets in, the more problems it will have.  Period.

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"All it takes for evil to triumph is for enough good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

Ibn Warraq:

The cartoons in the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten raise the most important question of our times: freedom of expression. Are we in the west going to cave into pressure from societies with a medieval mindset, or are we going to defend our most precious freedom -- freedom of expression, a freedom for which thousands of people sacrificed their lives? A democracy cannot survive long without freedom of expression, the freedom to argue, to dissent, even to insult and offend...Unless, we show some solidarity, unashamed, noisy, public solidarity with the Danish cartoonists, then the forces that are trying to impose on the Free West a totalitarian ideology will have won; the Islamization of Europe will have begun in earnest.


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  • "The sword of Muhammad and the Quran are the most fatal enemies of civilization, liberty, and the truth which the world has yet known." - The eminent orientalist Sir William Muir (1819-1905)

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    "All religions take care to silence or to execute those who question them...It has, however, been some time since Judaism and Christianity resorted openly to torture and censorship. Not only did Islam begin by condemning all doubters to eternal fire, but it still claims the right to do so in almost all of its dominions, and still preaches that these same dominions can and must be extended by war." - Christopher Hitchens, God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything

     

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    'If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence. If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel.' - Benjamin Netanyahu

     

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    “Religion is an insult to human dignity.  With or without it, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things.  But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.”        --        by Nobel Laureate physicist Steven Weinberg. 

     

     

    FROM THE KORAN:
    —The unbelievers are your inveterate enemy. (4:101)
    —Mohammed is God’s apostle. Those who follow him are ruthless to the unbelievers but merciful to one another. (48:29).
    —It is unlawful for a believer to kill another believer, accidents excepted. (4:92)
    —Believers, take neither the Jews nor the Christians for your friends. (5:51)
    —Make war on them until idolatry shall cease and God’s religion shall reign supreme. (8:40)
    —Fight against them until idolatry is no more and God’s religion reigns supreme. (2:193)
    —The true believers fight for the cause of God, but the infidels fight for the devil.  (4:76)
    —We will put terror into the hearts of the unbelievers. (3:151)
    —I shall cast terror into the hearts of the infidels. Strike off their heads, strike off the very tips of their fingers. (8:12)


    FROM THE SAYINGS OF MUHAMMAD:
    —Muhammad said to the Jews: “If you embrace Islam, you will be safe. You should know that the earth belongs to Allah and His Apostle, and I want to expel you from this land. “
    — Allah’s Apostle said, “You (i.e. Muslims) will fight with the Jews till some of them will hide behind stones. The stones will (betray them) saying, ‘O ‘Abdullah (i.e. slave of Allah)! There is a Jew hiding behind me; so kill him.‘ “
    —Mohammed said, “I have been ordered to fight with the people till they say, “None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, and whoever says, “ None has the right to be worshipped but Allah , his life and property will be saved by me.“ (otherwise it will not). Vol. 4:196
    —Mohammed said, “Whoever changes his Islamic religion, kill him.“ Vol. 9:57
    —Mohammed said, “ No Muslim should be killed for killing a Kafir” (infidel). Vol. 9:50
    —Muhammad said: “Fight in the name of Allah and in the way of Allah. Fight against those who disbelieve in Allah. Make a holy war, … “. (Sahih Muslim 4294)

     

     

     

    Some books that tell it like it is!

     

     

     

    The Islamization of Europe

    Muslims are rapidly destroying freedom in Europe and have even brought about self-censorship and real censorship in the United States.  But there is one city in Holland where a new reality can be seen with the naked eye, more than anywhere else. Here, entire neighborhoods look as if they have been lifted from the Middle East, here stand the largest mosques in Europe, here parts of sharia law are applied in the courts and theaters, here many of the women go around veiled, here the mayor is a Muslim, the son of an imam.  This city is Rotterdam, Holland's second largest city by population, and the largest port in Europe by cargo volume.  Europeans, especially politicians, will not lift a finger to fight against Islamofascism.  And future generations will pay the price. 

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    Please note, I do not and never would advocate violence against individual Muslims in any community.  For one thing, the guy you beat up with a baseball bat may turn out to have just escaped from some horrible Islamic regime.  Individual violence against Muslims or doing damage to mosques, etc., is just stupid and is also counterproductive as Muslim fanatics will show pictures of that all over the Muslim world to incite people against the West. 

    A good case can be made that Islam is a fanatical brotherhood masquerading as a religion, and, indeed, the adherents of Islam often act that way.   But, as individuals, a Muslim neighbor might possibly be more honest than a Christian neighbor.  It is only that the Muslim will have been brought up in a religion/brotherhood with a medieval mindset that is centuries behind the times and has a penchant for violence, especially against those who criticize the Koran and other aspects of Islam.   Winning the war against Muslim fanatics will take a long time and be hard-fought but it can and must be won.  But we must demand that more and more moderate Muslims join the fight against fanatical Muslims.   We must demand that our leaders absolutely reject any "compromise" on our right to free expression.  Compromising with the fanatics pulls the rug out from the Muslim moderates desperately trying to reform and secularize Islam.  And we must never bow to Muslim demands to curb our hard-won freedom of expression.   And freedom of expression always includes satire and even insulting satire including satire of glorified tribal myths called religion. 

    Back to the Welcome Page

    "Barrett has a gift for taking us into cultures worlds apart from our own, displaying a reverence for their exotic and grotesque as well as their beauty and history....”

    - The Poisoned Pen Book Review

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