Welcome to my website.  Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which might not appear elsewhere.  And to have some fun.

Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that. So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)

There is a contest every month when this column appears and the first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly will receive vouchers worth at least 4,000 baht in food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, Shadow Bar, The Old Dutch, the Big Mango, Electric Blue, The Duke of Wellington pub, Doll House and Bourbon Street Restaurant. The prizes will build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get quite interesting.  It will double to 8,000 and, if still no winner, to 12,000, etc.  Second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt.  Third prize is an After Dark calendar.  And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers, waitresses and hostesses).




This is a column of Thai nightlife and books and satire, etc., but there is no way to avoid some discussion of recent events.  But I will try to balance it with photographs of lovely Thai women along the way.  And, before I forget, many thanks to those of you who read this column and were worried for my safety and sent e-mails.  But I live outside the area controlled (or burned) by the redshirts, so I had no problem.  I actually live in a Muslim area and I'm sure the Muslims would have protected me.  Um, well, anyway, the next apartment is rented by two Mormans, and I'm sure they would have protected me.  Maybe.  Anyway, let's get started:

This from Thai Visa Facebook:

"Please come to visit Thailand...we have ancient ruins and fresh modern ruins..."

Helicopter evacuating employees of Channel 3; idiot redshirt placing his baby on the firing line.

(I did not take either picture)



Now in 3-D!  Yes, Playboy magazine is supplying special glasses with their latest issue so you can see the centerfold wench in 3-D.  Playboy readership has dropped dramatically over the years so this is one attempt to reverse that.  The good news is you can see this column in 3-D as well!  First, buy a copy of Hangman's Point.  Then check the inside back page where you will find the outline of a pair of glasses.  Then simply cut the glasses out and you can use them to read this column in 3-D.  Although in order to see the glasses, you will need to consume several beers, at least half a dozen black russians, and at least two frozen margaritas.  Can you imagine the chagrin of Dave the Rave and Stickman and Werewolf and Bangkok Eyes now that I beat them to the 3-D column?!  (It doesn't work unless you buy a new copy of Hangman's Point.)









Khun Cheer and her friends continue to light my fire at Mojos.  By the third curfew night Mojos was open 5-8 p.m.






Cops Called to Soi Cowboy


Soi Cowboy is doing OK, not anything like before the violent red shirt insurrection gripped Bangkok, but bars like Tilac, Dollhouse, Shebas and Baccara are never empty.  And of course the sweet young things at Rawhide light up when they see me (and my ATM card, no doubt) enter the bar.  I confess I regret that Rawhide has brought back the dart/balloon show.  I've seen it a dozen times over the decades and it never did turn me on.  Shark bar has some good-looking women and needless to say there are some lovely hostesses suggesting you pay a visit to their particular bar.  Nana remains the same, slow in most bars but the usual half dozen doing OK.  Some of the girls I know have gone back to Issarn for a while because business in the bars is so bad.  Now those of us in Bangkok are all hansum men!


A couple weeks ago a Japanese tourist went into Sahara and bought a drink and one for a dancer who came over.  He then went to the men's room and when he came back his table had 12 ladies drinks there which of course the management said he had ordered.  Despite the sudden appearance of two heavies the guy held his ground.  He tried to use his phone to call the police and was told no phone calls allowed in there so he said, fine, come outside with me when I make the call.  They did.  The cops showed up and were disgusted by the fact that whenever they are called to Cowboy it is because of this bar so they told the Japanese guy to go, he owed nothing. 


I honestly do not know what this Iranian bar owner is doing but everyone has had or has heard of bad experiences with his bars.  Also, the drinks are expensive and the coyote girls cannot even be barfined.  So do be careful of the Iranian-owned bars on Soi Cowboy despite the pretty things in the lane outside inviting you in.  The following information from a patron who has a girlfriend in one of the "Arab" bars.  The girls' names have been changed:


While waiting for Pla to appear, Lek finally came along and I bought her a drink.  She said Pla would probably be along in about 10 minutes, after she danced one set at Sahara.  A few minutes later, Lek got up to dance and then I got an SMS from Pla saying she was now working at Sahara, and apparently would be all night.  

So I went to Sahara. Bought Pla a drink.  The new mamasan had told her first that she was working at Spice, then changed and told her to stay at Sahara. Then, while I was sitting there having bought her a drink, the mamasan came up and told her to leave...for Spice Girls! change your mind 3 times in one hour as to where the coyote dancer is supposed to work, then remove her from the premises while she has a customer!!! 

If you set out with the goal to drive customers away you'd probably run your places just like this.  I guess that's the Arab's real plan. As a policy, it goes well with his others: no cell phones, no dancing on the floor, padding the bills, and randomly having security rough up customers.  

In any event, I told Pla that's it, if she wants to see me she'll just have to come over, as I'm not going to conduct a bar to bar search for her, then follow her from bar to bar on the whim of a passing mamasan. 

But wait, there's more.... 

Once again, they've just hired a new batch of coyotes...and they're paying the new girls MORE (by 200 baht a day) then the girls with seniority.  How's that for a slap in the face?  

At this point, Pla and Lek are actively seeking employment elsewhere.  The problem they'll face of course, is limited opportunity in the non-barfineable dance realm. 



******************* ******************* *******************



Many foreigners wrote to one another as well in letters to the editor that they had lived here for years but never expected anything like the riots, and didn't think Thais were capable of doing what they did.  Some say they are moving.  I know what they mean, but I am not moving.  It does feel though as if you have an old friend and you thought you knew the friend's strengths and weaknesses.  And then you found out some very not-so-pleasant things about him.  It is as if a friend disappointed you.  A friend was humiliated.  Day after day after day for months.  And friendship does not stand humiliation well.  But I have long known both the bright and dark side of Thailand.  And although, as previously planned, I'll be spending more time in China, I'm here for the count.  But as my detective puts it in Skytrain to Murder: "Thais are the nicest people in the world.  Until they're not."



British anarchist caught urging Red Shirts to burn and loot mall

Andrew Drummond, in Bangkok

(I hope they hang this arrogant, loud-mouthed bastard.  He and the other farang character have both been arrested)

******************* ******************* 


How great is it for men in Thailand?  This e-mail from a friend:


At the end of the evening, remember I'd had a 3-hour nap in the afternoon yesterday, the girls asked me to go to the after hours Thai disco on Ekkamai with them.  So I did.  We danced 'till dawn, our party was just me and 5 girls.  Even though I was with 5 women, this is Thailand, so 2 girls at an adjacent table tried to put the moves on me and Lek (not real name)  nearly got into a fight with them in the ladies room.  The place was about 80% girls, I was the sole farang.   


Overheard while having a Margarita at Coyotes: "I flew Delta; I think it means Don't Expect Luggage To Arrive."


******************* ******************* 


Oh, ho!  So Patty at the Londoner prefers a Marine to an ex-Army specialist!  So be it!


Patty and Jon just can't wait to get home.


******************* ******************* 



Lucky You Are Not to Live in Thailand

Twelve Reasons Why  


It hardly seems fair, does it?  Guys living in Thailand being surrounded by stunning, available women and guys living back in the West hardly able to “score” at the local pub and crawling on broken glass in a pathetic attempt to take home a chick who wouldn’t be allowed to show her face in a third-rate Thai massage parlor.  So, in the hopes of making guys in the West feel better, I have written down some of the many benefits of not having beautiful, available women within thousands of miles of their location.  It is my fondest hope that after perusing the twelve reasons below, guys living in the West will realize how fortunate they really are; and possibly show a bit of empathy and sympathy for those of us stuck in Thailand.


  1. Your cell phone is not overloaded with names of beautiful young women who often call you and try to persuade you to let them come up and stay over for the night.  In this way, you don’t have to scroll through the Leks and Nois and Dangs and desperately try to remember where you know her from and what you did with her and if you promised her anything you forgot about.  You, sir, enjoy peace of mind that those of us living here can only dream about.


  1. You have a lot more money.  Just getting drunk on the weekends and chugging several bottles of Rolling Rock or Corona and watching some boring sports event on the bar’s TV doesn’t cost as much as an all-nighter with a beautiful, available Thai girl.  (Nearly as much, but not quite.)  So, fortunate fellow that you are, you save money every time you go out by not being in Thailand.


  1. Thai girls have the annoying habit of putting even wet towels on bathroom towel racks which were not made for that kind of weight.  And sure enough they fall down.  So by not having a beautiful, available Thai girl staying with you in your apartment, you avoid the bother of having to put up the towel rack again and again and again.


  1. For whatever reason, some Thai girls just don’t get it: they don’t bother to place the shower curtain inside the tub when they take a shower and as a result your bathroom floor gets flooded with water.  By not having a beautiful, gorgeous, available Thai girl staying with you, you don’t have to mop up your bathroom floor. Again and again and again.


  1. As Thai women usually look a lot younger than they are, by not having a gorgeous young Thai woman going around with you, you avoid the glares and stares of Westerners who assume you are a pedophile.  You can relax because no one thinks you are up to anything indecent or prurient.  And they are right.  Truth to tell, when it comes to women, you aren’t up to anything at all.  Lucky you!


  1. Like all women, Thai girls can be very jealous.  By not having a lovely young Thai woman around you, you avoid the unpleasant situations and the accusations that come about when you stray a bit.  No woman is accusing you of doing anything; precisely because you are not doing anything and precisely because there is no woman to accuse you.


  1. You avoid having go-go dancers come to your apartment at all hours of the night.  For example, my friend Paul got a call from a dancer at Rawhide on Soi Cowboy.  She said they needed to practice for a new dance routine but their recorder was broken.  Could they come over and use his?  So at three in the morning when he was trying to work on a film script, three go-go dancers in panties and bras were working on their routine to music behind him which he found very distracting.  You, O Fortunate One, do not have this kind of nonsense to worry about and will undoubtedly get a good sleep or be able to work on your latest project.  Without annoying distractions.


  1. Needless to say, you will have more money.  Your trips to your ATM machine will be few and far between because you have no lovely Thai woman to spend money on.  Not for you those constant pleas about money needed for a sick mama or a younger brother going to school.  You get to use your money for whatever you like without wasting any on a gorgeous Thai bedmate: a new muffler on the car, perhaps, or maybe a new garage door or maybe to join a hot computer porn site which allows you to interact with women on webcams.  Or maybe even a very realistic blow-up sex doll.


  1. Here in Thailand, the day after the gorgeous creature leaves, if not before, you finish taking your bath and pull the plug but the water level practically remains the same.  So once again you realize that the long, glossy, soft, jet-black hair of the lovely young thing you slept with is now blocking the drain as it so often does when they bathe or shower in your tub and you end up having to spend still more money on containers of Drano.  Thank whatever gods may be that by living in the West you can save all that money and know when you pull your plug, the water will go down rapidly and expeditiously.


  1. Many researchers say that we get a much deeper, sounder sleep in a bed when we are alone.  And, sure enough, guys living in Thailand seem to be walking around in some kind of somnambulist daze because of their bed being occupied by a beautiful young thing.  Again, O Fortunate One, this is not the case with you and upon awakening every morning you rise bright and eager to face yet another day without being encumbered by any thoughts of "How do I get her to leave?"


  1.  After we in Thailand describe an adventure we had with one or more beautiful Thai chicks we often hear newly arrived, egotistical and misguided Western idiots say, “Oh, I never pay for it!”  You, O Fortunate One, do not have to listen to any of these idiots who of course are actually paying more than we are but are too stupid to know it.  Precisely because you’re not getting anything whether you pay for it or not.


  1. Here in Thailand, whenever you are with one lovely woman it seems several other women have spotted you and reported the news of your whereabouts to several other women.  This you will hear about from them later.  This is known as the coconut wireless or bamboo telegraph.  But even as you walk arm in arm with your shoulder candy you are receiving SMS messages on your cell phone from other women asking where you are.  You needn’t worry about anything like that happening where you are as in the first place you have no shoulder candy and, second, nobody with a bustline gives a damn as to your whereabouts.   Lucky you are to be living in a Western, politically correct, Ophra-approved society…





******************* ******************* ******************* ******************* ******************* 




What's Doing in Pattaya?


Local newspapers in Bangkok, at least the two in English, have little to say about Pattaya.  Perhaps when you learn what actually happens in Pattaya you can understand why.  Here are some headlines from Pattaya Today newspaper, a recent issue:


Scam Artist rips off Pattaya masseuse's for 5 million baht, Former boxes punches French man once kills him, Pattaya gold shop robbed, Tipoff leads to arrest of Australian on drug dealing, Gang of fine arrested after another robbery, Pattaya navy officer murders wife and turns gun on himself, Repeat offender charged with rape and kidnapping, Jomtien beach robbery results in arrests, 15-year-old girl attempts suicide after argument with her husband, No good deed goes unpunished, Yaba dealer busted in his room at Jomtien, Police raid motel room and arrest recently released prisoners, Pattaya jet ski scams still plaguing Pattaya city hall, Saleswoman arrested on Pattaya klong for selling counterfeit goods, Cambodian lady was a lone crime wave, Brother high on yaba attacks his sibling, Foreigner arrested selling pirated DVD's, Gang shooting teenager arrested after police raid.


And those are only the ones reported!  In one week!  Sure, Pattaya can be fun but be damn careful!



************************************** ******************* *******************  ******************* ******************* 


Controversy over Miss USA lingerie photos!


Miss USAMiss USAMiss USAMiss USAMiss USAMiss USA


Yes, folks, it seems some people don't get excited by the nuclear arms race, Muslim intolerance or red shirt assassins.  For these people, the fact that the bimbos competing in the Miss USA contest have been photographed wearing lingerie is a BIG DEAL.  Not to worry, though, because Donald Trump is involved and he says it is OK.  But the headlines in the papers have been saying that fans of the Miss USA contest are upset.  FANS?!  What do they mean, FANS?  You mean there are people who look forward to this nonsense each year and call themselves fans?  What is the average IQ of one of these fans?  Sometimes I think people like fans of this contest have no real lives.  When I lived in the States I remember people whose conversations if not whole lives revolved around what Johnny (Carson) said that night, or what Dave or Jay said or which overthehill actress Larry King had interviewed.  Don't these people have lives of their own?  I mean, let's be honest here, if you lead an active interesting life do you really give a flying fuck what Dave (unless he gets blackmailed again) or Jay said about anything?  And aren't questions like When will Ann be back at Rawhide or O back at Baccara far more important than what idiotic soccer team kicked some balls into a net?!  Sometimes I wonder if I am on the wrong planet.  Like Superman was when he ended up here.  Maybe I too was sent off from some distant planet to perpetuate something or other.  Not sure what.  But for Christ's sake, in the age of internet porn some Miss USA bimbos wearing lingerie is a big deal to get upset about?? Perspective, men, perspective!!

*******************  *******************

Yet another lovely from Chiang Rai at the Nataree Massage Parlor



Yes, After Dark magazine continues even after the passing of Cigar Bob.  Here is the latest.

****************  ****************


Messages Sent and Received During the Burning and Looting


Some folks are saying Central World could collapse.  It does seem to have been well gutted by fire.  Even against the night sky I can see a huge amount of smoke which has to be from that fire.  I have (had) books in at least two stores in there.  I suppose the smoke is The Go Go Dancer who Stole My Viagra and Murder at the Horny Toad Bar going up in flames.  Another bummer.  :-(  As you know, fiction writers are paranoid, and I am beginning to wonder if much of what has happened was some kind of nefarious plot to get my books off the shelf.  A plot by a jealous writer, perhaps?  DB



But presumably if they can't return your books, then they must be considered 'sold'.  If they took delivery of them already, presumably they are responsible for the safekeeping.  So I suspect that they must pay for your books.

I have information that in fact the Central World Kinokuniya was in fact the largest stockist of Dean Barrett's novels in the world, with an entire section devoted to just the poetic works.  And further, I have information that within the last month, because of the downturn in tourism, the usual sleazy sexpats who would buy Mr. Barrett's books have been staying clear of Thailand's shores, and only last week, Kinokuniya was considering returning a large proportion of the unsold books to Mr. Barrett.  This would have possibly led to Mr. Barrett's bankruptcy, and along with it, the bankruptcy of Mojo's, Tilac, Rawhide, and Nataree.

So, can it be coincidence, we might ask, that now the entire stock has been destroyed only days before the appointed return?  And can it be coincidence that last night Mr. Barrett asked for Cheers' hand in marriage, claiming that she wouldn't have to worry, because very soon now he would be "stinking rich"?

Well, Mr. Barrett, your fiendish plan has been discovered.  He who set Central World on fire is none other than Dean Barrett himself.  You were clever - but not clever enough!  There is a helicopter on its way right now, ready to take you off to a two week holiday in Hua Hin.  That should teach you a lesson!  Paul





I see khun Paul is on Provigil and Viagra again.  I warned him not to take them together as he gets delusional.  My friend in Buriram says there is no curfew there because nobody there cares about this.  I'm going to bed and read a Lawrence Block detective novel and munch on a Health Valley organic peanut crunch chewy granola bar with antioxidants.  Not as good a bedmate as a Thai woman but the curfew took me totally unprepared and my dial-a-boom is out of date.  Sorry if I seem not to be taking this coup too seriously but I have been through a number starting in the 60's and Al has been through 11 of the 18 since 1932, so some of us old farts remain kind of, well, phlegmatic and unruffled and pissed off that the curfew is on the very night that drinks at the Londoner were 2 for 1.  Sour grapes maybe but don't try to tell me THAT was a coincidence.  DB




When I can see billows of smoke even from where I am that means big fires.  It looks like Saladaeng.  Most likely BarBar's whips and leather outfits are going up in flames.  Bummer  DB




Three more days of curfew!!  Just when I thought life as we knew it was was over and was in the middle of reading Kipling's Man who Would be King in the Emporium (last shopping center still standing in Bangkok) I checked my phone and there is was: Proof of God's existence.  An SMS from Daryl at Dollhouse, Soi Cowboy saying, DOLLHOUSE WILL BE OPEN TODAY AND THE NEXT FEW DAYS AT 4 PM TILL CURFEW.  COME DOWN!  Yes, indeed, I did just that and being the only go go open on the street it was booming!  Bless Daryl, bless manager Mark, bless lovely Amara from Surin.  DB






All Dark Except for Happy Manager Mark and the Dollhouse 4 to Curfew!




And this is what Soi Cowboy looked like when I left Rawhide with 30 minutes to go till curfew.  It was pouring and flooding so I ended up paying a private car driver at the bottom of Cowboy 200 baht for a 60 baht ride.  Oh, well, his lucky night.


Suzie Wong and Shadow Bar joined in on the second and following nights.



****************  ****************


Best pictures I've seen yet on the crisis:

****************  ****************






Not Published by the Bangkok Post


Dear Sir,
The Bangkok Post seems to have reached a new low.  Despite its supposed policy of giving preference to letter writers who use their real names, you have now published a very anti-American, anti-Thai government diatribe written by someone using a pseudonym ("Karl Victor").  To anyone who reads the Post we already know that with the writer's love of Noam Chomsky and his hatred of America, the writer is one of the usual puerile farang leftist Israel-bashers who are so much favored by your newspaper.  Do you, as editor, really not understand that by allowing the writer to use a pseudonym for this article you have sunk your paper to a new low and violated your own standards, such as they are?  Dean Barrett




A Great Place for Ribs!


****************  ****************


Only the extremists will be left (Letter to the Editor published by the Nation but not the Post)

Every violent insurrection or would-be revolution goes through stages. If it lasts long enough and muddles on without either achieving victory or admitting defeat, it will eventually attract extreme leftists, nutters, and ego-trippers looking for their 15 minutes of fame. Lenin referred to foreigners aiding the Russian Revolution as "useful idiots". Hence, we now have the ne'er-do-well Aussie, Mr Purcell, delivering nonsense from the stage at the red-shirt rallies. Why is it so difficult for people to understand that the goal of the red-shirt leaders is not justice or democracy but to bring back one of the most evil and corrupt men in modern Thai history? Before joining any group which promises democracy and justice, please remember the Southeast Asian saying: "When elephants fight the ants get trampled."

Dean Barrett  Bangkok


****************  ****************


Geoff Alexander's picture of a lovely Thai lady with one of my tomes.  Thanks, Geoff

 ****************  ****************

Letter published in both Papers

Dear Sir,

I had no love for Seh Daang, but when asked about her father's shooting, rather than cry for vengeance, his daughter replied that she hoped his shooting would be the last.  The lady has class.  I wish other Thais involved in this conflict would emulate her very noble attitude, instead of acting like spoiled children.  Dean Barrett




Jesus endorsement




Filipinas using not-so-subtle advertising

******************* ******************* ******************* ******************* 



Eight-year-old girls engaged in some sexy dance routines have stirred up a hornet's nest in the West.  Bua!  Anyway, why is it that Westerners are so afraid of sex but are quite happy to watch violence?  Myself, I prefer the former.


******************* *******************



I see something called the World Cup is coming.  I assume that means whenever I go into a pub for pleasant conversation and a few drinks the room will be full of patrons screaming about the half men/half children kicking balls into nets.  Bummer.



A CROSSWORD fan aged 89 used an internet search to solve a clue about a donkey - and was bombarded with hard-core porn.

Jack Sedgewick got stuck on 14 across: "Wild asian ass." The great-grandad typed "asian ass" into Yahoo's search engine in the hope of finding the answer to the newspaper poser.

He said he was stunned and didn't know this sort of thing existed.  Stunned?  Um, where yah been, gramps?



**************** *******************  ****************


Same Game: Different Time and Place

A young lady of 18, wealthy, pretty and agreeable, wants a husband. Not finding any one of her acquaintance who suits her, she has concluded to take this method of discovering one. The happy gentleman must be wealthy, stylish, handsome and fascinating. None other need apply. Address within three days, giving name and full particulars, and enclosing carte de visite, Carrie Howard, Station D, New York.

June 5, 1863



**************** *******************  ****************


Coming Soon: The Bangkok Barroom Ghost Story: Noy of the Horny Toad

to a Youtube video near you.  Be afraid.  Be very afraid!



**************** *******************  ****************


Please don't Romanticize the Rustics!



That's what my Chinese wife use to say to me when I lived in Hong Kong and made the mistake of saying really generic nice things about the Chinese farmers or those in what used to be rural areas.  Which may be why I can recognize it clearly when some farangs I know in Thailand talk about the Issarn folks and the red shirts as if they are the purest people in the world.  Don't misunderstand me: I love Issarn, have been many times and will go again.  But I don't place people in rural areas there - farmers or whoever - on a pedestal or see that their main enemy is Big Bad Bangkok.  Strangely enough, I notice no one ever romanticizes the rustics in the South, the millions of farmers who voted against Taksin.  Curious, no?  But, anyway, let's take a look at a few facts.  A farang friend married to a Thai living outside Khon Kaen sent me this:


My wife's Papa just ran in the local election for 'Master of the Village' - and he won.  Gives him a monthly salary of 8,500 baht a month but the key perk is the ability to rip off a % of every village project.  He was paying 1,000 baht per person to get them to vote for him - cost him over 100,000 baht to win the election.  Thai politics - gotta love it.



OK, now I think it is important to note that this guy's father-in-law is a very hard-working farmer.  That's right, he is a farmer in Issarn and paid other farmers in Issarn to vote him in.  Money will be disappearing into his pocket that should have been spent on community projects.  The farmers agreed to this for quick cash and had no problem with dare we say "corruption" (gong gin).  The farmers in that area all love the red shirts and Taksin.  So when these projects cannot be carried out, they will blame Bangkok.  But who is to be blamed?  Obviously themselves.


Another fact: In Thailand, perhaps especially in Essarn, there is what Thais themselves refer to as the NIGHT OF THE HOWLING DOGS.  Kheun Ma Hon.  This is when before elections the folks called canvassers trot upcountry with bags full of money to bribe the heads of villages (or feudal lords, if you prefer) for their votes.  The dogs don't recognize the strange faces so they bark and howl like hell.  Thais - including Essarn Thais - know all about this.  In other words, Essarn Thais like all other Thais take the money to vote for someone, rather than vote their conscience.  All foreigners have heard the expression, "Thais are the nicest people money can buy."  Indeed.  So why then do some foreigners talk about corrupt Big Bad Bangkok ripping off those poor Essarn farmers?


Another fact: Have you ever noticed how whenever some idiot pedophile from the West shows up in Southeast Asia there are big headlines when he is caught.  But not one word in print about the tens of thousands of Thai family members who do bad things with niece, daughter or sister.  I know of girls who were moved to another part of the country to get away from a family member who did or wanted to rape her.  In Nakorn Phanom a Thai-speaking foreigner living with his Thai wife and deeply involved in the community told me that kind of thing seemed to be worse up around his area.  Why do Thai newspapers say nothing about this?


Another fact:  My former girlfriend was from Korat.  She was very happy when she came to Bangkok to live.  I told her it was postcard perfect up there and folks had a laid-back life, so why would she be happy away from there?  She then began to tell me behind-the-scenes horror stories about murders, jealousy, tales of vengeance, and showed me empty houses where the Thai male had caught AIDs and died but not before passing it onto his wife and she died.  Tales that made my blood run cold.  You may have a girlfriend from Essarn with fewer horror stories to tell but, certainly, there were no blinders in her eyes toward Issarn.  They were like everyone else but lawlessness was a bit worse in the countryside, in her opinion.


The bottom line: Thai farmers work their asses off during much of the year and deserve what help they can get from Bangkok and from their community.  But until the system changes, which it won't, and until Thais at all levels stop participating in or at least condoning corruption, please don't mindlessly blame Bangkok's government for all the problems and, as my ex-wife would say, please don't romanticize the rustics.


"Greed will be Thailand's epitaph." - Buddhadasa Bikkhu




**************** *******************  ****************



Oh, dear, still another scandal involving beauty contests.  The first Arab-American to win the Miss USA Beauty Contest was caught (gasp, horror) pole dancing!


**************** *******************  ****************



"His glass was empty.  Drinks disappeared faster, he noticed, the more of them you drank."


(the late) Robert Parker, Night and Day


**************** *******************  ****************



Colonel Sansern, who kept his cool under stress, has become very popular, especially with ladies.  Here is one of the questions and answers:


Why are you so admired for your role as CRES spokesman?

I think it's because it was prime time during my press conferences, so there were many viewers. There could be two main reasons: first, I used simple language and sometimes added some funny comments. Once during my press briefing, to show that the launcher for a tear-gas canister was different from an M79 grenade launcher, people laughed when I joked I should pull the trigger after the tear-gas launcher was loaded. In another press briefing that showed footage of looted convenience stores, I noted all but a few items in the stores were left untouched - books, magazines and newspapers.


Got that?  Nobody cared about stealing books.  Well, the red shirt bastards burned mine in Central World and I am going to send the idiot Arisman an invoice (just as soon as they catch him).



**************** *******************  ****************



Final Thoughts About the, um, Late Misunderstanding in Bangkok


Check out this headline of the BKK Post exactly 18 years ago from the date of the burning:


When I was doing graduate work at San Francisco State College in the late 60's, there was a protest which for some time actually closed the school.  As with the red shirts, there were three elements to the people involved:  First there were the dupes or cannon fodder.  These were thousands of students and assorted weirdos from across the country who either believed in what they were doing or else simply wanted their moment of fame on TV or else simply hoped they might get laid.  (Some who denounced it called it the Children's Crusade and Sandbox Radicalism.)  They talked of democracy, helping the poor, inequality, racism, Vietnam, etc., etc.  Meanwhile, the second element consisted of thugs.  Both black and white but in that case especially black thugs who threatened anyone going to class.  Some Chinese teachers fearlessly locked their doors with their students and continued to teach.  (Armbands in those days were red for the protestors, blue for those opposed.)  I still remember how some of the protests' thugs beat up the editor of The Gator, the school paper, and put him in the hospital because he wrote an editorial they didn't agree with.  The final of the three elements was the leadership.  In this case, SDS (Students for a democratic Society) and some even farther left groups.  These, unlike the cannon fodder, made the decisions behind the scenes and planned to bring everything to a halt until they got their "non-negotiable demands" met.


And this Red Shirt protest was exactly the same in nature.  The same three elements.  The cannon fodder talking of bringing back Taksin so they could have democracy (Say what?!), the thugs threatening people in the area they controlled and actually shooting others, and, third, the leaders who had their own agenda (and income) behind the scenes.  So there was nothing really new under the sun this time around.  And, as at SF State, negotiations failed, and eventually 600 state police, dogs, and a helicopter restored order.  A bit of tear gas, as well, if memory serves.  More than a bit.  (I hate the right wing and left wing and once the thugs beat up the editor I hated the protest movement on campus so eventually left for University of Hawaii.)  Again, the pattern was exactly as George Orwell had described it so well in his fable Animal Farm.


One of the things that bothered me about the Red Shirts was their spokesman.  I forget his name but whenever the press was around, especially the blatantly biased CNN and BBC, he kept babbling about Tian An Men Square.  As if this was a similar situation.  Well, actually, no it wasn't.  The students and workers who were shot and killed in Beijing had no weapons, kidnapped no one, did not attack a hospital forcing babies in incubators and old folks with oxygen bottles to move, they did not threaten foreigners for suggesting they might turn down their loudspeakers, they did not extort money from automobile users in their controlled area (50 to 200 baht depending on the car), they did not burn down buildings, they did not attack the subway system, they put no one out of a job, they threatened no one and needless to say did not have sharpshooters among them.  So whoever says this was like Tian An Men, fuck you.


So, will anything good come out of this red shirt madness?  Possibly three things: First, there were so many complaints against the anti-government biased reporting of the BBC and CNN that those organizations just might at last shape up.  (They were whitewashing the red shirts the way they whitewash Muslims.)  Second, no Thai government in its right mind will ever ignore the wishes of the people of Essarn as what happened here now could happen again.  Third, there is now so much hatred for Taksin for organizing and funding this rent-a-mob and the destruction it caused, that even if a pro-Taksin political party won an election, there is no way he could ever be part of the government.  The hatred toward him in Bangkok and some other parts of the country is now so great that he would be lucky even to come back.  This I would predict would be the case at least for one generation.


Great video song: begins as speech but is actually a song video regarding redshirts.


New Mandala: intelligent discussion of recent events in Thailand.



**************** *******************  ****************




Letters from Readers



hi dean,  i always enjoy reading your website.  For some time you kept the report of THE TIMES OF INDIA which in July 2007 reported a suicide attempt by french national Thierry Darnaudet, President and Founder of Action pour les Enfants or APLE in Cambodia, India and elsewhere in the world. The orig. Report was erased from the the Times of India archive and the rest of the web for that matter. No trace to be found anymore. Its like it never happened. In many other instances i have found Information that was critical or negative on APLE's Inquisition-like actions here disappearing from the web, completely and without a trace. It appears to me that someone in their org. must use Hacker Tools to sanitize the web, not unlike the US based Scientology Church that also has a history of intimidation, legal harassment etc.


APLE is accused that they deliberately entrap and trick western men into sex with underaged so they can have them arrested and prosecuted, brandmarked as pedophile and destroyed for their rest of their lives. They are not interested to prevent any kind of child abuse. Quite the contrary they are now accused to use underaged that where previously involved in pedophile cases as a bait and lure western men into sexual acts, while they and the police watch it to happen. In the latest case they apparently used an underaged girl that was in the custody of another NGO Shelter and used her as bait for a french guy as in the Phnom Penh Post report of May 10.




APLE not beeing short of cash, legal advisers etc. immediately fought back with a defamation complaint to the Authorities.


Since 2004 APLE has created an atmosphere in Cambodia that reminds one of the darkest Inquisition Ages in Europe. No one trusts each other anymore. Every white male is regarded as a potential pedophile and even among the expat community there is a high level of distrust, snitching and false accusation. You don't want to be married to a Cambodian women and have a child here.  What's worse is the fact, that with all the media brainwashing initiated by the child protection industry here, Tourists from western countries have joined in and there is not a moment when you are not photographed being in company or not.


It's all about Donor Funds, Tea money, etc. Nothing is really about child protection. It's sickening. 

Here is a good example of a case from a few years ago that was setting a de facto standard of the NGO's here.

check out:

someone who has analyzed the current situation of Witchhunt against Men is:

he had a section in the past regarding other countries than britain. that incl. cambodia and his findings where unbelievable. get in touch with this guy who won himself several awards.

the NGOs official pages and rantings can be found under:

don't forget to click for English in the upper right hand corner

If you like, you can also contact the  to find out more about Thierry Darnaudet's suicide attempt in July 2007.

As of yesterday the website that published some of the current findings is unavailable. Any questions ?

I guess you want to beef up the firewalls of your website . If you mention anything that they don't like they will try to shoot you off the net.

PS: If the above wouldn't be reality it would give a good story for a novel.


greetings,  Peter Allmann, Takeo province




Many thanks for your information.  You are right, the first article seems to have been removed already.  I found a relevant article here:





We can show the Super 14's Semi-Finals and the Heineken Cup Final tonight at Mojo's.
The street into Mojo's is a private street not public. To get around the curfew and not be on the streets after 9pm you have two options. Royal Guest House next to The Office Bar has 14 rooms available @ 1,000 Baht per night.
2. Bless Residence behind the Mojo's has 40 one bedroom suits available @ 2,500 baht per night.
If you are interested please reply to this email ASAP. Remember you will have to be here before 9pm.
Come and enjoy a great night of rugby.
Cheers, Mojos, Sukhumvit soi 33


I have no interest in the sports but the reason I was interested in this particular e-mail is that it gives the hotel prices for a night.  Interesting...

****************  ****************


Links You Might Enjoy

A video of a five-minute walk down Soi Cowboy.  Click here and then click "preview videos."


Like to check out some bars in Thailand?  Try

Like to know what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try

Like to know more in depth about what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try this great site:


Tired of shoveling snow?  Check out Bangkok's sunshine.


Bangkok's weather report.




A great site for listening to Thai Morlan music and other folk music of Southeast Asia.




A bit of black leather never hurts.  But she does.


Our Lady in Black




Like to learn a bit about retiring in Asia?




Maps of all the provinces of Thailand




Listen to






Helping Kids in Thailand


Helping Thai Kids




A fine independent Pattaya Bookstore:



Links You Might Not Enjoy

Politically incorrect rants and raves from Uncle Fred.


Girlfriends looking for Taliban boyfriends.

Taliban Singles Dating Page


Very satirical writing and videos.


Do you have a product or service you would like to advertise on this website? You can, you know. In fact, you don’t have to have a product or service at all; you can just send me money. Or perhaps you would like me to plug a product or service that you are involved in? Sure, just send me cash. Be sure, however, to mark the outside envelope:

“Birthday money for Dean Barrett –

Absolutely No Bribe Enclosed

Got feedback to this column?  Got information on Thailand you would like to share?  Happy as a dung beetle to be living in Paradise?  Been ripped off?  Just write me.



Enter and win a prize! This contest's first prize is worth 4,000 baht in food and drink vouchers.  The first to give the correct answer wins the vouchers; second wins the sexy shirt; third wins the sexy calendar.

     First prize:        Vouchers for food and drink from bars, pubs and restaurants in Bangkok

     Second prize:       Nifty shirt with the "I Support Single Moms" slogan

     Third prize:        Sexy calendar with Pattaya go go dancers, from After Dark magazine

     Fourth prize:       Nada Diddly-Squat Special 4 U, U number ten!




This column's contest:  Write the best caption for this rather strange picture:


"With the addition of simple improvised antenna, the new Acme2000 Breast implant can also pick up Voice of America"

"Using this anatomically correct model, I can demonstrate how a simple household fork can drive your woman wild!"


"I reckon if I put the fork in there, I will look just about stupid enough to make it as a competition picture on Dean Barrett's site."



New Contest: Give me an outrageously funny caption for this photo:




That's all for this fortnightly column.  Drop by again.  Explore the rest of the website.  Meanwhile, as the girls used to tell me during the 1960's: "I no lie you, GI, I love you long time; you number one!" 

And, remember: nothing says goodbye like a bullet.  And the more people I meet the more bullets I need.



Dean Barrett can be flamed at:




"At least one thing seems certain: against people who are ready to die in the cause of destroying freedom, people who are not willing to speak up for freedom for fear of being called a racist or an Islamophobe don't stand much chance of victory."



More News on the "Religion of Peace"


The "Religion of Peace" continues to visit Southern Thailand


Just some of the recent atrocities committed by Muslims in Thailand



2010.05.26 (Yala, Thailand) - Islamic militants set off a bomb in front of a car dealership, killing two people.


2010.05.22 Thailand Narathiwat - Two civilians are shot to death by Muslim terrorists.


2010.05.22 Thailand Yala - Two women, one of whom was pregnant, are murdered in cold blood by Mujahid gunmen.


2010.05.21 (Pattani, Thailand) - Holy Warriors shoot a nurse in the head as she is riding to work.


2010.05.20 (Yala, Thailand) - A Buddhist woman is gunned down in her grocery story by Muslim terrorists.


2010.05.20 (Narathiwat, Thailand) - Muslim gunmen murder a 56-year-old villager.


2010.05.19 (Yala, Thailand) - A 46-year-old civilian is shot and then set on fire by Religion of Peace separatists.


2010.05.17 Thailand Yala - A Buddhist school administrator is murdered by Muslim assassins on his way to work.


2010.05.17 Thailand Pattani - Three Muslims shoot a Buddhist public works official to death.


2010.05.14 Thailand Narathiwat - Islamists shoot a public health official six times in the chest and head.


2010.05.06 Thailand Yala - A 52-year-old man is shot to death by Mujahideen while sitting in this truck


2010.04.28 Thailand Pattani - A 41-year-old female health volunteer is shot in the head by Muslim rebels.


2010.04.25 Thailand Pattani - Islamists fire on a garbage truck, killing one worker.


2010.04.22 (Narathiwat, Thailand) - A young man is gunned down by Muslim radicals at a nightclub.



And Many More badly Wounded



(Isn't it interesting how silent the Bangkok Post is about all this.  Yet they have lots of space to run stories and photos on pandas and a boring, predictable column written by a Muslim fanatic every other Sunday.)








Over 4,000 Thais including monks and teachers and children have been murdered by Muslims in Southern Thailand and

over 45 Thais have been beheaded including Buddhist monks.





"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." (Blaise Pascal, mathematician, 1670)




Click on a Face (or what was a face) to See How Islam "honors" Women


How Islam "honors" women

Stop Honorcide!


Pat Condell - Free Speech is Sacred

A Great Pat Condell Video on Europe's Appeasement of Islamic Fanaticism


THE RELIGION OF PEACE (in the real world)
















and let's not forget these:

Killed by Muslim fathers, brothers, etc., for trying to live as a human being


This woman had a nose once; until Muslim men decided she wasn't Muslim enough.  Click on the photograph.







Held Hostage by Her Brothers for Surfing the net


















 NEW YORK: Man Eats Wife. . . (Nothing to See Here)  

An "Australian" stabbed his wife 250 times then ate her in front of their children.  Care to guess why the mainstream media passed over this one?



    Happening Now in America:

Islamic foot-washing basins in airports; Shariah finance being introduced by American banks; college campuses designating Islamic prayer rooms for Muslims only; Islamic compounds practicing Shariah law springing up across America; public schools using tax dollars to indoctrinate American students into Islam; demands by Muslim parents that their children be provided private prayer rooms in their public schools; Muslim workers demanding special workplace accommodations no other religious person would ask for; creative people being threatened as with South Park; publishers self-censoring out of fear of Muslim anger and hate; plays self-censored out of fear of Muslim backlash; and the list goes on.


"How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog...No stronger retrograde force exists in the world (than Islam)." Winston Churchill


Mohammad Playing with his Six-year-old Bride to Be

The so-called Prophet Muhammad Married a six-year-old named Aisha and had Sex with the girl by the time she was nine (if not before).  Mohammad ordered the death of two poets who mocked him as well as killed many others.  The Koran is full of hate for non-believers which it equates with "evil-doers."  Islam is not a religion: it is a fanatical brotherhood and hate-filled ideology.  The West continues to ignore the fact that Islam is a clear and present danger to anyone who believes in free speech, an independent judiciary, free press, etc., etc.  Self-censorship is now being practiced in Europe and America to appease Muslims.  The more Muslims a country lets in, the more problems it will have.


"All it takes for evil to triumph is for enough good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

Ibn Warraq:

The cartoons in the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten raise the most important question of our times: freedom of expression. Are we in the west going to cave into pressure from societies with a medieval mindset, or are we going to defend our most precious freedom -- freedom of expression, a freedom for which thousands of people sacrificed their lives? A democracy cannot survive long without freedom of expression, the freedom to argue, to dissent, even to insult and offend...Unless, we show some solidarity, unashamed, noisy, public solidarity with the Danish cartoonists, then the forces that are trying to impose on the Free West a totalitarian ideology will have won; the Islamization of Europe will have begun in earnest.


Muslim extremists brandishing banners calling British soldiers 'Butchers'

  • "The sword of Muhammad and the Quran are the most fatal enemies of civilization, liberty, and the truth which the world has yet known." - The eminent orientalist Sir William Muir (1819-1905)



    Iran 23

    "All religions take care to silence or to execute those who question them...It has, however, been some time since Judaism and Christianity resorted openly to torture and censorship. Not only did Islam begin by condemning all doubters to eternal fire, but it still claims the right to do so in almost all of its dominions, and still preaches that these same dominions can and must be extended by war." - Christopher Hitchens, God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything





    'If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence. If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel.' - Benjamin Netanyahu




    The Bodies of Two Dead Gays in Iran


    (killed by adherents of "the religion of peace")



    There is not one Muslim country in the world which gives equal rights to non-Muslims but when Muslims enter other countries they demand more than equal rights!  Write your congressman and tell him to stop kowtowing to Muslims.


    “Religion is an insult to human dignity.  With or without it, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things.  But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.”        --        by Nobel Laureate physicist Steven Weinberg. 



    "Mohammad poisoned the sources of human felicity at the fountain, by degrading the condition of the female sex...and he declared undistinguishing and exterminating war, as a part of his religion, against all the rest of mankind. The essence of his doctrine was violence and lust: to exalt the brutal over the spiritual part of human nature" - John Quincy Adams




    —The unbelievers are your inveterate enemy. (4:101)
    —Mohammed is God’s apostle. Those who follow him are ruthless to the unbelievers but merciful to one another. (48:29).
    —It is unlawful for a believer to kill another believer, accidents excepted. (4:92)
    —Believers, take neither the Jews nor the Christians for your friends. (5:51)
    —Make war on them until idolatry shall cease and God’s religion shall reign supreme. (8:40)
    —Fight against them until idolatry is no more and God’s religion reigns supreme. (2:193)
    —The true believers fight for the cause of God, but the infidels fight for the devil.  (4:76)
    —We will put terror into the hearts of the unbelievers. (3:151)
    —I shall cast terror into the hearts of the infidels. Strike off their heads, strike off the very tips of their fingers. (8:12)

    —Muhammad said to the Jews: “If you embrace Islam, you will be safe. You should know that the earth belongs to Allah and His Apostle, and I want to expel you from this land. “
    — Allah’s Apostle said, “You (i.e. Muslims) will fight with the Jews till some of them will hide behind stones. The stones will (betray them) saying, ‘O ‘Abdullah (i.e. slave of Allah)! There is a Jew hiding behind me; so kill him.‘ “
    —Mohammed said, “I have been ordered to fight with the people till they say, “None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, and whoever says, “ None has the right to be worshipped but Allah , his life and property will be saved by me.“ (otherwise it will not). Vol. 4:196
    —Mohammed said, “Whoever changes his Islamic religion, kill him.“ Vol. 9:57
    —Mohammed said, “ No Muslim should be killed for killing a Kafir” (infidel). Vol. 9:50
    —Muhammad said: “Fight in the name of Allah and in the way of Allah. Fight against those who disbelieve in Allah. Make a holy war, … “. (Sahih Muslim 4294)






    Some books that tell it like it is!


    Now on trial in Holland for "insulting Islam"



    The Islamization of Europe

    Muslims are rapidly destroying freedom in Europe and have even brought about self-censorship and real censorship in the United States.  But there is one city in Holland where a new reality can be seen with the naked eye, more than anywhere else. Here, entire neighborhoods look as if they have been lifted from the Middle East, here stand the largest mosques in Europe, here parts of sharia law are applied in the courts and theaters, here many of the women go around veiled, here the mayor is a Muslim, the son of an imam.  This city is Rotterdam, Holland's second largest city by population, and the largest port in Europe by cargo volume.  Europeans, especially politicians, will not lift a finger to fight against Islamofascism.  And future generations will pay the price. 

    The hate-filled Quran (Koran) consistently uses offending remarks whenever it mentions non-Muslims. It describes non-Muslims as animals (Q.7: 179, Q.25: 44, Q.47: 12). Then it describes the Jews as donkeys Q. 62:5 then as apes and pigs (Q.2: 65, Q. 5:60, Q. 7:166). To be described as an animal is a bad insult in Arabic culture, but pigs, apes and donkeys are particularly bad.  "Religion of Peace," my ass. 


    More people are killed by Islamists each year than in all 350 years of the Spanish Inquisition combined. (source)




    Please note, I do not and never would advocate violence against individual Muslims in any community.  For one thing, the guy you beat up with a baseball bat may turn out to have just escaped from some horrible Islamic regime.  Individual violence against Muslims or doing damage to mosques, etc., is just stupid and is also counterproductive as Muslim fanatics will show pictures of that all over the Muslim world to incite people against the West. 

    A good case can be made that Islam is a fanatical brotherhood masquerading as a religion, and, indeed, the adherents of Islam often act that way.   But, as individuals, a Muslim neighbor might possibly be more honest than a Christian neighbor.  It is only that the Muslim will have been brought up in a religion/brotherhood with a medieval mindset that is centuries behind the times and has a penchant for violence, especially against those who criticize the Koran and other aspects of Islam.   Winning the war against Muslim fanatics will take a long time and be hard-fought but, assuming people wake up to the clear and present danger of Islam, it can and will be won.  But we must demand that more and more moderate Muslims join the fight against fanatical Muslims.   We must demand that our leaders absolutely reject any "compromise" on our right to free expression.  Compromising with the fanatics pulls the rug out from the Muslim moderates desperately trying to reform and secularize Islam.  And we must never bow to Muslim demands to curb our hard-won freedom of expression.   And freedom of expression always includes satire and even insulting satire including satire of glorified tribal myths called religion. 

    Back to the Welcome Page

    "Barrett has a gift for taking us into cultures worlds apart from our own, displaying a reverence for their exotic and grotesque as well as their beauty and history....”

    - The Poisoned Pen Book Review


    “The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion.  It should transcend a personal god and avoid dogmas and theology.  Covering both the natural and the spiritual, it should be based on a religious sense arising from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual and a meaningful unity.  Buddhism answers this description.  If there is any religion that would cope with modern scientific needs, it would be Buddhism.” - Albert Einstein