Welcome to my website.  Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which might not appear elsewhere.  And to have some fun.

Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that. So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)

There is a contest every month when this column appears and the first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly will receive vouchers worth at least 3,500 baht in food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, Shadow Bar, The Old Dutch, the Big Mango, The Duke of Wellington pub, Doll House and Bourbon Street Restaurant. The prizes will build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get quite interesting.  It will double to 7,000 etc.  Second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt.  Third prize is an "Explore Your Hidden Self" voucher from the S&M club BarBar.  And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers, coyote dancers, waitresses and hostesses).







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  “With ruby lips apart, she looks as pretty as a flower that understands speech.”

17th century erotic Chinese classic, The Carnal Prayer Mat






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An Essarn Wedding












Weddings in Essarn are always a lot of fun (as long as they aren't mine).  I flew up to Sakon Nakorn on Nok Air, stayed at a rather basic resort, and the same evening went to the bride's home where preparation was moving forward at a frantic pace.  I was joined by friends from Bangkok who had driven up.  So after the wedding the next day, and after consuming prodigious amounts of local brew, I abandoned my return air ticket and rode back with them.  We stopped for one night in Roi Et, and the next in Korat.  A fun trip.  If you ever get invited to an Essarn wedding, go.  Just prepare yourself for the Lao Khao, the local brew.  (Which wasn't bad, actually.)  May Khun Golf and Khun Satit have a great and long life together.





And on the Way Back to Bangkok:



Roi Et: Largest freestanding Buddha in Thailand


"Where in tarnation is the toilet?" asked the tourist.


Pretty Korat lady (the one on the right)








Early morning walkabout in Korat (well, not too early)




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Wednesday Night, Londoner Pub, 2 for 1 drinks, smoking outside only




Moulin Rouge, soi 33: A gentleman from Hawaii now owns this place and has obviously spent some money trying to make it work.  The windmill does indeed turn and there is a glass ceiling above the bar to see go go dancers dance.  Unfortunately, the place is small and looking straight up at two dancers in tops and shorts is not all that appealing.  When I was there, there was one other customer who left after ten minutes.  I give this guy an A for trying but I still say anybody who wants to open a small bar on Soi 33 must have lots of money to throw away or else is not playing with all his mahjong tiles on the table.  The difference in traffic between a few years ago and now is amazing.  There are very few customers and far too many bars.  As they used to say of Melbourne after 7 p.m., and perhaps still do, you can shoot a cannon ball down the street without fear of hitting anybody.






There are more rumors in Washington Square than there are ladies drinks.  Every year the rumors say the Square is doomed and this has been going on for several years.  This time, however, the rumors are much stronger.  And of course Bourbon Street will soon open another branch at Ekamai.  And then there is the case of the Texas Lone Star Saloon.  George's widow seems not to be interested in keeping it going and for sure the special forces folks above the bar have been told to move out by 1 May. But now the latest is that it will be open until the end of the year on a month by month basis (whatever that means). Whatever does or doesn't happen, I thought it might be the right time to do some photography in the Square.  So here are some interior shots of the Lone Star as well as the cool drawings on the wall opposite Bourbon Street restaurant.













Great paintings on the wall outside Bourbon Street.






Soi Cowboy continues to be the liveliest venue for farangs in Thailand and most bar owners say they are doing OK.  (Sometimes even the girls working in the bars agree with that.)



Construction everywhere in Bangkok.  Here is the one at Prom Phong.  All along lower Sukhumvit and in the sois, such as soi 49, the landscape is changing.  Somebody has lots and lots of money.  And confidence in the future.



The Elite used bookstore (Sukhumvit near Villa Market, soi 33/1) not long ago had a sign suggesting it was going out of business.  But, no, it was just redecorating or renovating or whatever.  It is open again but remember Dasa Books up the street above the emporium gives you more money for your used books than Elite.  And Dasa often has various sales and deals.


For example, this just in: "We (Dasa) have added more titles to the selection of 9 baht books we currently have on our Blowout Sale Table. We will keep those books on sale until April 4. On that date we will re-stock the table with additional titles, but the prices for those books will range from 19-79 baht."  



Music Station on Sukhumvit, soi 33, has a good band and also some coyote dancers.  Maybe they are trying to give Mojos a run for their money.  The setup is very different though as each dancer dances on a small raised platform.  The girls are very friendly but be careful: their drinks cost 250 baht.  Hey, Big Spender...



I have a pigeon problem.  They are nesting on a ledge near my air-conditioner.  They are filthy and spread disease and I think some of the filth is getting into my air conditioner.  I threw some water which hit part of their nest but because of the angle of my window I cannot get a direct shot at them.  And, worse yet: Is that an egg I see before me?  They seem to be nesting just behind the air conditioner belonging to the next apartment.  The guys in the next apartment are Mormons and I am not sure Mormons would help me destroy a pigeon nest.  They might put me on trial in Salt Lake City.  Besides, now that they have had a kid, I am sure there is some do-gooder Protect the Pigeons Society which would come after me if I do anything now.  And once these pigeons start their cooing they are loud as hell.  Of course, sometimes their cooing is drowned out by the continuing construction on the House Being Built to Keep the Farang Awake across the street or the muezzin in mosque by the klong, or other and sundry noises Thailand can come up with to keep farangs awake.  Peace and Quiet.  Not in Bangkok.








I have to make a trip to Hong Kong and figured on paying the usual 14,000 + baht round trip on Thai or Cathay Pacific.  But a travel agent informed me there is a new airline HKAir (Hong Kong Airlines) and their roundtrip costs 8,678 baht.  Coming back is in the afternoon and that is fine but going there is something like 8:20 a.m.  That means getting up early.  I only like to fly at civilized times but I figure saving 6 or 7,000 baht is worth getting up early for.  I will write next column on how the service is.  I do know they use Airbus aircraft so how bad can it be?  They also fly to various places in China so this might prove to be a cheap way to fly.


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A Few Signs in China's Yunnan Province that could use Better Translations


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Khun Nana's Corner

Khun Nana is a savvy local expat who keeps in shape by hitting most of the bars of Nana Plaza as often as possible.  From his vast experience, he will enlighten and entertain us with his recollections of the bar scene be they humorous, tragic or somewhere in between.

I don’t know about how other guys feel, but I have always thought that sex should be fun and reduce stress instead of increasing your stress level.  Heck, it is the one activity I normally enjoy that takes me away from all the mundane problems in day-to-day life.   Well, I ran into a very sexy gal at a party the other night and I must say we were getting pretty hot and heavy on the host’s sofa, and I was very enthusiastic when she asked me if I wanted to go back to her condo just a few kilometers away. 

We made some hasty excuses and practically ran outside to her car.  A few minutes later we were in her condo panting and sweating and exchanging saliva when she asked if I had any condoms.  Geez this precocious little number doesn’t have any condoms in her condo?  I asked if there was a 7-11 or mini-mart close by and she answered that there was one just around the corner.  So I hastily pulled my pants over my protruding…..enthusiasm and slinked out the door hoping that perhaps I would become a bit less….enthusiastic on my walk to the store.   

Just as I am making my way out the door she blurts out “don’t just get a 3-pack, I expect you to really fuck my brains out.”  Now, guys I know that many would consider that to be a positive thing, but I gotta tell you that it gave me more than a bit of performance anxiety.  To make matters even worse, when I barked back at her that I know she must just be teasing me, she got a very serious look on her face and said “if you don’t really do me good I am going to be very angry with you.” 

I slinked out the door and I noticed that I had become somewhat less enthusiastic already, both literally and boner-wise.  Sex is supposed to be fun damnit to hell!  That little bitch just took that away from me and we hadn’t even consummated the arrangement yet.  I did manage to make it to the 7-11, and on the way back to her place I was giving myself and my libido a little pep talk in hopes that I could rekindle the animal lust that had brought me to her little corner of Bangkok.  Do I need to say at this point that my performance was less than stellar?  I ended up ashamedly cowering from her condo with my manhood and pride dragging on the floor behind me. I really should take a reader’s poll to find out how many of our horny fans out there would be more or less turned on upon hearing the words “don’t just get a 3-pack of condoms, I expect you to fuck my brains out.”  

I really need to stop calling babes when I am drunk.  I know that guys have been making arses out of themselves for centuries while in the inebriated state and who am I to mess with a fine tradition, but lately I think I should hide my mobile phone from myself before going out on the town to get plastered.  I have done the stupidest things while drunk at 3 AM such as telling gals I barely know that I love them, making promises that any sober man would know could never be kept, or worst of all, committing the unforgivable crime of being completely honest about my feelings for a girl.  Oh the shame. 

Hey, I have a terrific idea!  Breathalyzer locks on mobile phones.  I have a mate who got arrested for drunk driving back in Antisepticville and the authorities put a lock on his car ignition.  The guy had to drive to work, but they wanted to make sure the engine couldn’t start if the driver was over a certain blood alcohol level. We need one of our well capitalized horny readers to invest in coming up with the first “Khun Nana’s Mobile Phone Breathalyzer Lock.”  You don’t need to split the profits with me, just buy me enough 3-packs of condoms to keep me humiliated for the rest of my life.

Guys are always complaining about how dishonest the bargirls are in Bangkok, but last week I happened to meet the gal who wins the prize for most honest in this fair land of ours.  I was sitting in a friend’s steakhouse restaurant when a punter walked in with what was an obvious “working” girl.  He was late forties or so and dressed like he just came up from Pattaya.  Oh, for those of you who admire our columns from afar, Pattaya is a sleazy seaside version of Sodom and Gomorrah that would easily win the prize for most poorly dressed foreign men.  A good mate likes to say that spending even a single day in Pattaya could bring back any man’s self-confidence, because if he has ever laundered the t-shirt he is wearing he will easily be the handsomest and best dressed man in the city.   

I digress.  The gal with the punter in my friend’s restaurant had the usual bored look on her face and was trying her best to tolerate the agreed upon arrangement for as long as needed to receive payment.  The guy was ranting on and on about subjects that would bore any sane person to death and the gal continued to play with her mobile and look like she wanted to die.  Then he suddenly changed tactics and began hinting to her that he had a lot of money and would consider putting her on salary to keep her from needing to return to the bar and work.  

Well, I don’t need to tell any of you savvy party guys that a salary is the Holy Grail for bar gals.  Large sums of money for literally no work whatsoever if the guy doesn’t live in Thailand.  If a slick gal can get 2 or 3 guys sending money from abroad she may make more in a month than a doctor or lawyer.  Much to my astonishment these golden words flowing from his mouth brought absolutely no response or change in demeanor from her at all.  If anything she looked even more comatose than before if that’s even possible.  The guy looked a bit offended and excused himself to go to the toilet.  When he was safely out of earshot I began chatting with her in Thai and let her know in very clear terms that she was missing an opportunity of a lifetime, and all she had to do was BS this guy for a few more hours and she would be rolling in money for months if not years.  Heck, I live here and I root for the home team.  If the gal can score some easy money from a guy who has way more money than brains, good for her.   

Her response to me was so frank and honest that I was a bit in shock.  She said “I am just too bored to lie.”  What a breath of fresh air! This is easily the most honest service provider in all of Thailand.  To even further cement her award winning style, the punter returned momentarily and asked her straight out what she would do all day if she didn’t need to work at all. This is where the gals normally excel and lay some story on the guy about how they want to return to study or go help their family work the farm blah blah blah.  Not this girl.  Her answer to what she would do with her free time was simply “sleep.”  The guy at this point looks a bit confused and apparently feels she is dodging the issue.  He says “no, really, what would you do all day long if you didn’t need to work.”  She looks at him disdainfully and shouts out “SLEEP!”

And that is exactly what she would do.

Until next time.  Khun Nana

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A 22-year-old Nataree beauty from Chiang Rai surrounded by the beauties of Soi Cowboy.  (Yet another proof that 22-year-old Thai women can look about half their age.)



And yet another Nataree beauty, lovely disposition and "biguns".  And she was so sweet even when Mr. Happy wasn't doing all that he should have been doing she kept blaming herself.  I kept telling her to relax, all will be well.  A friend of mine said I should have said mai keyi gert kuen ma gorn.  "This never happened to me before."  Actually, I did.  Yeah, I know, I lie like a rug.


Latest progress: The house being built to keep the farang across the soi awake.


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Foreign Correspondents Club Panel on Bangkok Noir



Sitting at the long panel table, from left to right, Dean Barrett, Colin Cotterill (who was present in the shape of a life-size cardboard cartoon), John Burdett, Tew Bunnag, Gen. Vasit Dejkunjorn, Christopher G. Moore, and Collin Piprell.


The night went well and the FCCT was really crowded.  I still believe, however, that "noir" is an attitude more than anything else; and as such I think it is far removed from the Thai mindset.  Westerners like myself see noir in Thailand because that attitude and experience is what we bring to Thailand.  But Thais are imbued with Buddhism, it is part of them, and that outlook is very different from noir. 


Noir is often considered to be a sub-genre of hardboiled detective fiction and is often written in a very gritty, realistic style.  It usually involves several of these: a fatalistic attitude, betrayal, a femme fatale, self-destructive, unsentimental, violence, failure of main character to achieve goal, possible death of main character, bleak setting, and the protagonist is often not an outsider but rather someone closely connected to the crime or plotting of a crime or is a victim or suspect. 


The book is priced at 450 baht and is already available at some English-language bookstores in Bangkok. It can also be ordered online, from the publisher’s website. Half of the authors’ earnings from this book will be donated to selected charity organizations which provide education for needy children in Thailand. Check out the book’s website too.


Saturday, Tuesday, 2 April, 3 - 6 p.m., is the official book signing.  Place: Siam Paragon, Kinokuniya Bookstore.





Color of Night







Friday 7 p.m. 1 April


Chris Coles who paints Bangkok Noir will have an opening of his paintings at the Koi Art Gallery, Sukhumvit soi 31 (opposite Home Run Restaurant and not far from Prime Minister Abisit's house).


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Random Thoughts from a Strange Studio




Love this cool weather; my brain is actually working again.


I am happy to say that (the real) Kylie Winters, one of the main characters in my latest detective novel, Permanent Damage, has paid about US$1,000 to Mercy Centre, Father Joe's charity, in return for appearing in the novel.  At various writers' conventions in the West, there is often a silent auction whereby people write down an amount to bid on getting their name into a novel.  And the money goes to charity.  I am not certain if other writers in Thailand are selling off the names of main characters for charity but it is a good idea and I hope they will.  I would have thought people would pay precisely to keep their name out of a Dean Barrett novel, but it looks like for charity they'll do anything.


A reader alerted me to the fact that on some forum someone had referred to me as "curmudgeonly."  Can you believe that?  Me? A sweetheart of a guy with a Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm personality and a Somewhere Over the Rainbow smile for everyone?  I have been called many names in forums but this is a first.  Ah, too cruel...


It is great to be in Thailand where there is an abundance of cultural activities not to mention lovely Thai women.  When I lived in New York City, and was deprived of such pleasure, it was tough going until I finally figured out a technique.  Late at night, I would call the Chinese Consulate.  They were closed of course but they had a woman give a recorded message about hours open, visa application hours, etc., etc.  But she spoke beautiful northern Mandarin and was it ever a turn-on.  I should write to the Chinese Consulate and thank them for the free phone sex.


Of course as everyone knows I would be the last to judge a woman based on appearance.  But this is the woman John Edwards cheated on his cancer-ridden wife with.  And then he got an aide to pretend the child he had with her was his.  And now his career is kaput.  All for this "beauty".  Yes, it must be true: Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.


While I was up in Essarn I asked myself if I could live in the Thai countryside.  Hundreds of foreigners do and they seem to like it.  I would think it would be pretty depressing during the rainy season when everything turns to mud.  But, yes, I am a country boy at heart and I think I could live a purely countryside existence in Essarn.  Just as long as there was a large and really good English language bookstore near me; and live off-off Broadway type Western theater; and a cafe where I can get cappuccino when I want it and a really good pizza place.  And Nataree-type massage parlors.  And lots of taxis.  And air conditioning and broadband.  Yep, as long as I had access to those items I am proud to say I am a country boy.


The film, The Adjustment Bureau, was over the top and ridiculous (IMHO) but Liam Neeson in Unknown was a fine actor in a cleverly written film.


The Face of a Moron

Glenn Beck says Japan's earthquake might be a "message" from God.

"We can't see the connections here," he said on his show Monday. "I'm not saying God is causing earthquakes - well I'm not not saying that either!"

"What God does is God's business," Beck continued. "But I'll tell you this...there's a message being sent. And that is, 'Hey you know that stuff we're doing? Not really working out real well. Maybe we should stop doing some of it.' I'm just saying."

Beck continued trying to make a connection between human behavior and the natural disasters that have wreaked havoc in Japan, even casually mentioning "radical Islam" before revealing what he called "the answer."


You may recall that during the Tsunami several years ago that claimed hundreds of thousands of lives, Muslim imams said it was because mankind had failed God, etc., etc., etc.  and they could even see the word "Allah" in the wave.  Of course it made no sense, especially because the Muslims of Sumatra's Aceh area were the most wiped out yet they are the most fanatical and conservative of Indonesia's Muslims. 


Not to be outdone, this time around Glenn Beck tells us the tsunami that hit Japan might be a message from God.  Well, what kind of message was it to the children who were drowned or those made homeless and those who lost their parents to the tsunami?  Instead of sending some faggoty messages, while he hides his ass in the shadows, if God has a message why doesn't he just anchor his ass to a chair somewhere on Earth and give it to us?  It is bad enough when Muslim morons try to find a cause and effect in natural disasters; now Christian morons can be just as...moronic.  I have never seen a person with less character in his face than Beck and I often wonder about people who watch his show.  And people wonder why I grow crotchety...




Speaking of nut cases, here is the New York Times reporting on the core beliefs of Scientology: 


“A major cause of mankind’s problems began 75 million years ago,”...when the planet Earth, then called Teegeeack, was part of a confederation of ninety planets under the leadership of a despotic ruler named Xenu. “Then, as now, the materials state, the chief problem was overpopulation.” Xenu decided “to take radical measures.” The documents explained that surplus beings were transported to volcanoes on Earth. “The documents state that H-bombs far more powerful than any in existence today were dropped on these volcanoes, destroying the people but freeing their spirits—called thetans—which attached themselves to one another in clusters.” Those spirits were “trapped in a compound of frozen alcohol and glycol,” then “implanted” with “the seed of aberrant behavior.” The Times account concluded, “When people die, these clusters attach to other humans and keep perpetuating themselves.”


And people wonder why I live alone...


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Special Bonus for A Really Sharp Reader:


Be the FIRST to answer the following question and win a copy of Memoirs of a Bangkok Warrior or Murder in China Red (your choice):


The sign above most likely hangs on the wall of:


1.  Lord Jim's


2. Le Normandie


3. Sirocco


4.  Texas Lone Star Saloon






(If you live in Pattaya you can skip this section)

The Great Exhibition of 1851, London, was one of the most important events in 19th century English history.  Countries from around the world sent their latest inventions and best quality products and Great Britain did its best to outshine them all.  The Queen and her retinue were there as was the ambassador from China, looking splendid in his Manchu cap and robe.  But he spoke no English.  He had not been invited as no one realized an ambassador of the Ch'ing Dynasty would be present but they placed him in a position of great honor: Near the Duke of Wellington and the Archbishop.  And he is immortalized in this famous painting.  There was only one problem: He wasn't an ambassador at all; he was a showman and swordsman giving performances on his boat in the Thames and charged one shilling per person entrance. 

We will never know what his motives were but it seems he simply wanted to attend and wandered in and was taken as an ambassador.  Why do I mention this?  Because it is most likely the greatest case in history of and absolute proof of those who say DRESS FOR SUCCESS.

(Incidentally, speaking of pigeons, there were some inside the Cristal Palace and the Queen asked the Duke of Wellington if he knew how to get rid of them.  He replied, "Try pigeon hawks, ma'am."

Um, good idea, but then how did they get rid of the pigeon hawks?



Little known facts Dept: One of the things that inspired me to write a book of poetry and ballads, especially on Thailand, despite the fact that nobody reads poetry these days: During the Sung Dynasty (960-1279) the famous poet, Su Dung-po AKA Su Shih, is said to have, when having finished a poem, walked to the market place and read each poem to the charcoal sellers.  If they liked his poem he would then keep it and eventually publish it in one of his collections.  If they did not like it he would throw it out.

I thought that was a cool way to have poems vetted and decided to follow in the great poet's footsteps.  Unfortunately, I didn't know any charcoal sellers.  But, luckily, I did know lots of Entertainment Providers such as coyote dancers, go go dancers and bargirls.  And so it was that I set out to have my poems vetted by the ladies of the Texas Lone Star Saloon.  I figured as most are in their 30's and 40's they have lots of life experience and their English is better than a lot of the Entertainment Providers in other nightlife areas.

And so it came to pass that I began reading my poetry there.  Unfortunately, it didn't work out as planned.  It seems that judging poetry makes Thai bargirls very thirsty and soon I found myself with a bin full of ladies drinks, an unfortunate development that could not be sustained.  And so, alas, the vast majority of my poems were not judged by the good ladies of the Lone Star.  I wonder, though, if Su Dung-po had to buy lots of charcoal...

If you haven't seen my attempt to read a poem at the Lone Star you can go to the video page on this site or just click here:


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Jesus endorsement

Click on Jesus to see his latest message





When crime reporter Jimm Juree is forced to follow her family from Chiang Mai to a fishing village on the Gulf of Siam, she's convinced her career is over. Her journalism will surely dwindle to reports on the annual monsoon-induced floods, for what crimes could possibly happen in such an out-of-the-way place? Answer: plenty. A local palm oil plantation owner and his worker are excavating a well. They dig down six feet and hit metal. It turns out to be the roof of an old Volkswagen combi, which, once unearthed, is found to contain two skeletons - one of them wearing a hat. A monk is murdered in Lang Suan, the nearest town. There is apparently no motive for the killing and no suspects are found. But there are odd connections between this killing and several others. Suddenly Jimm's new life becomes somewhat more promising - and a great deal more dangerous.

Colin Cotterill has had a lot of well deserved success with his series of novels set in Laos and a lot of rave reviews.  His latest, just out, is set in Thailand.  And if you have read his other work you know it will be well worth reading.


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Letter published in the Nation



Dear Sir,
Bruce Bolton in Seattle criticizes the Nation for referring to university students as "girls" instead of "women."
As an expatriate who has lived in Asia for decades, I have come to appreciate the strengths and weaknesses of my own country and have found one of the weaknesses is for Americans to smugly give advice to others whose ways may differ and therefore in American eyes seem wrong.  I am sure there are problems in America regarding men and women that Mr. Bolton could find to write letters about rather than to officiously give advice to newspapers in other countries on how females should be addressed.  Perhaps a Thai should write to an American newspaper criticizing the superficial babble about "relationships" found in so many clichéd American movies and TV series; or the idiocy of spending 65 million dollars on a comic book musical about Spiderman and turning the once great and meaningful American theater of Eugene O'Neill, Tennessee Williams, Arthur Miller and Edward Albee into puerile garbage.
Dean Barrett


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Snake bites model's breast during photo shoot, reportedly dies of silicone poisoning

(Nope, you can't make this stuff up)




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Intruder Calls 911, Afraid Homeowner May Have Gun

(Darwin Award possibility),0,4441627.story



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Letters from Readers



On the nataree masseuse pictured in your latest blog, I must have repeated and sustained sex with that woman asap. Not to do so in, say, the next 20 minutes will cause me to spill my seed upon the ground (a detestable thing, according to Genesis 38, 8-10)  You didn't catch her name, did you? (No, of course not. Silly me) Yours, David

David, ask and ye shall receive.  Her name is Ying.  Her phone number is (supplied here).  Here is another picture of her.  Let's see Stickman beat this service.  Cheers!

You're a fine man, Dean, and thank sweet jesus for it. Poor Ying; she has no idea what's coming...
(I'll be sure to report back and tell you what she really thinks) David



You talk shit.

Steve Long

Steve, if there is one thing I admire in a man it is his ability to be concise!  Well Done!




I notice you use a lot of pictures on your site and you keep them local to the website. 

My suggestion sir, keep them on a free service for pictures like photobucket or somesuch. 

This will take the traffic OFF your web site and put it on photobucket! 

Hope this helps.... Greg


Greg, many thanks.  For a few dollars more, I went up to a kind of business account.  So I am OK for now.  But that is useful advice, especially as I have Picasa 3 if I want it which I guess keeps pix off the local website.


Dear Dean:
I have just "discovered" you recently when I was looking for some interesting books for my Canadian friends to learn about China and found and BOUGHT your book on Don Quixote in China from internet.
First, as Chinese tradition which you know so well. I am 62, semi-retired, born and raised in Taiwan but have lived in Canada for the pass 30 years. No children and single now. Love Chinese literature and poetry but sure not as knowledgeable as you are since you have a master's degree on Chinese and I was not a good student when I was in schools.
Second, I was laughing from page one when I started to read your book. You sure know how to "translate" Chinese in your funny way; specially when it comes to describe the "beauty" of Chinese women-apricot eyes, moth eyebrows, cheeks as red as the almond flower.... However, I have a tiny suspicion ( maybe your way of "getting back" to your ex-Chinese wife?!) that you are actually writing for Chinese to read. Because I don't think anyone without some knowledge of Chinese language can actually understand what you talking about... 
WEI, Ya-Shiung (ms)
Montreal. Quebec. Canada

Thanks for yours, Ya-Shiung.  No, I am happy to say foreign-devils who read the book do get it and also report they have a lot of laughs.  But it is probably true most people don't know what I am talking about even when I write about other subjects.  I suspect they just buy my books as doorstops which is OK with me.  And, no, I have nothing against my ex-wife (you said "ex-Chinese wife" but I suspect she is still Chinese despite the trauma of losing me) ;-)


It really is sad what's going on here in the USA.  The political correctness with respect to Islam is repulsive, and it's going to cost us a lot of lives. If we only had more people telling the truth about Islam....
Here's the question:  Are you familiar with the website Angie's List?  It's a website that allows users of a particular service (contractor, plumber, dentist, etc.) to publicly rate that provider. Good, bad, or otherwise, it's all posted for registered users to read. What do you think of an Angie's List for Bangkok nightlife providers? Bars, clubs, girls, FLs, etc. Good idea? Stupid?  What the heck am I taking about? Let me know what you think.

Sent from myTouch 4G

UV, I think there are already a number of websites which discuss the subjects you mention.



Hi Dean, I was in Bangkok last week and L and Wee at the Texas Lone Star told me you had left an autographed copy of Permanent Damage there if anyone who wanted it.  This saved me a trip to the bookshop at Emporium as I had intended to get a copy anyway.  I am now about two thirds through it and enjoying it very much particularly as I just spent the week in Soi 22,  went to the Square most afternoons and am up to date in relating to many of the sites in your book.  Thanks very much for leaving the signed copy.  I look forward to the next one  The girls had a good laugh when I showed them your You Tube videos on my iPhone.
Best regards, Joe Lynch 


Joe, thanks, and I am happy to say Asia Books has now distributed Permanent Damage and some of my back titles so they are now once again available at Asia Books and Bookazine as well as at Kinokinuya.


Hi Dean,
I've just been reading your latest column, in particular the article on the guy suing after being hit by The Go Go Dancer's shoe. We should spare a thought for the "poor guy" in the attached article... he got hit with a flying dildo at a buck's party in Australia. I don't think he's going to sue anyone; it's made him a national hero. Apart from that, he can't stop laughing about it!  Keep up the good work. I look forward to the 1st of each month.
Regards, Mick (an Aussie living in Thailand) 


Thanks, Mick, sorry to say I can't save the article due to our two systems being incompatible or whatever.  In Thailand, we only worry about flying darts during bar shows.


This is in response to someone asking on behalf of his friend:


Bob, re: your friend.  No guy in his sixties should be looking for a woman

in the 18-25 bracket for marriage as she hasn't formed yet and may turn out

very different than when he meets her.  And to expect a young girl to be
comfortable meeting government and corporate big shots and to give him true
love at his age, well, good luck with that.

First of all, I always advise guys to come to Thailand and learn something
of the culture and language; come several times before making any moves.

He might well find a woman in her 30's with a child by a previous Thai
marriage.  She might have a sense of responsibility and not want to go to
Karaoke and disco every night but does your friend understand that a Thai
woman puts her mother first, any children second, Thai food third, and
husband fourth?  Does he know he will be involved with (and possibly paying
for) a family?

He can start learning Thai where he is as there are free lessons on the
Internet, Youtube, etc.

I can tell you a guy in his 60's who thinks he should have a Thai girl 18-25
(other than for a "casual stay") is setting himself up for a very large

disappointment down the road. Sorry to be so blunt but that is the way it is.



Links You Might Enjoy

A video of a five-minute walk down Soi Cowboy.  Click here and then click "preview videos."


Like to check out some bars in Thailand?  Try

Like to know what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try

Like to know more in depth about what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try this great site:


Tired of shoveling snow?  Check out Bangkok's sunshine.


Bangkok's weather report.




A great site for listening to Thai Morlan music and other folk music of Southeast Asia.




A bit of black leather never hurts.  But she does.


Our Lady in Black




Like to learn a bit about retiring in Asia?




Maps of all the provinces of Thailand




Listen to






Helping Kids in Thailand


Helping Thai Kids




A fine independent Pattaya Bookstore:



Links You Might Not Enjoy

Politically incorrect rants and raves from Uncle Fred.


Girlfriends looking for Taliban boyfriends.

Taliban Singles Dating Page


Very satirical writing and videos.


Do you have a product or service you would like to advertise on this website? You can, you know. In fact, you don’t have to have a product or service at all; you can just send me money. Or perhaps you would like me to plug a product or service that you are involved in? Sure, just send me cash. Be sure, however, to mark the outside envelope:

“Birthday money for Dean Barrett –

Absolutely No Bribe Enclosed

Got feedback to this column?  Got information on Thailand you would like to share?  Happy as a dung beetle to be living in Paradise?  Been ripped off?  Just write me.

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Enter and win a prize! This contest's first prize is worth 3,500 baht in food and drink vouchers.  The first to give the correct answer wins the vouchers; second wins the sexy shirt; third wins Nada Diddly-Squat Special.

     First prize:        Vouchers for food and drink from bars, pubs and restaurants in Bangkok

     Second prize:       Nifty shirt with the "I Support Single Moms" slogan

     Third prize:        An "Explore your Hidden Self" voucher from BarBar

     Fourth prize:       Nada Diddly-Squat Special 4 U, U number ten!







Just tell me where these pictures were taken.  The first two are the same place.





Answers to last column's contest:


Millennium Hilton & Siam Paragon


(I am getting smart in my old age.  I purposely mislabeled the picture of the Hilton as Peninsula when I saved it in the computer.  And sure enough lots of readers said it was the Peninsula.  Som nan na!)



This Column's New Contest:  Be first to win!


Give your best humorous caption for this picture



That's all for this monthly column.  Drop by again.  Explore the rest of the website.  Meanwhile, as the girls used to tell me during the 1960's: "I no lie you, GI, I love you long time; you number one!" 

And, remember: nothing says goodbye like a bullet.  And the more people I meet the more bullets I need.



Dean Barrett can be flamed at:




"At least one thing seems certain: against people who are ready to die in the cause of destroying freedom, people who are not willing to speak up for freedom for fear of being called a racist or an Islamophobe don't stand much chance of victory."



More News on the "Religion of Peace"


The "Religion of Peace" continues to visit Southern Thailand


Just some of the recent atrocities committed by Muslims in Thailand



2011.03.27 Thailand Yala  Religious extremists shoot two villagers at a market, killing one.


2011.03.24 Thailand Yala  A 25-year-old plantation worker is shot in the head by Muslim militants.


2011.03.23 Thailand Narathiwat  A married couple and a female friend are brutally machine-gunned in their own home by Muslim 'insurgents'.


2011.03.19 Thailand Pattani  A street vendor is cut down by Muslim gunmen.


2011.03.18 Thailand Pattani  Three Thais are shot to death by Islamic militants.


2011.03.16 Thailand Marib  Muslim terrorists shoot a civilian off the back of a motorbike.


2011.03.15 Thailand Yala  Islamists gun down a 69-year-old man.


2011.03.15 Thailand Songkhla  Muslim radicals shoot a Buddhist plantation worker to death an injure his wife.


2011.03.15 Thailand Songkhla  A Buddhist teacher is murdered by Mujahideen.


2011.03.15 Thailand Narathiwat  Religion of Peace gunmen open fire on a tea shop, killing two Buddhist patrons.


 2011.03.15 Thailand Pattani  Three men sitting outside an auto repair shop are riddled with bullets by Muslim 'insurgents'.


2011.03.08 Thailand Yala  Muslim 'separatists' knock a man off his motorcycle and then shoot him twice in the head.


2011.03.07 Thailand Pattani  Islamists murder a 61-year-old man in an attack the leaves his young granddaughter seriously injured.


2011.03.07 Thailand Pattani  A Buddhist man is killed and his mother seriously wounded in an Islamic drive-by.


2011.03.07 Thailand Narathiwat  Islamic 'separatists' shoot a man to death as he is returning home from work.


2011.03.06 Thailand Pattani  Islamists shoot a 23-year-old man to death in front of his mother.


2011.03.06 Thailand Pattani  Muslim militants open fire on a market, killing a guard and seriously injuring four patrons.


2011.03.06 Thailand Pattani  A 64-year-old man is murdered when Muslim militants fire on a group of teachers.


2011.03.05 Thailand Pattani  A Buddhist monk is shot through the head in a Muslim drive-by. Two others are injured.




And Many More badly Wounded



(Isn't it interesting how silent the Bangkok Post is about all this.  Yet they have lots of space to run stories and photos on pandas, lots of anti-American articles from leftist newspapers, and a boring, predictable column written by a Muslim fanatic every other Sunday.)






Over 4,400 Thais including monks and teachers and children have been murdered by Muslims in Southern Thailand and

over 45 Thais have been beheaded including Buddhist monks



Beheaded Thai soldiers






"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." (Blaise Pascal, mathematician, 1670)





What is interesting about articles on the mosque to be in Manhattan near the 9/11 site is that they never once mention the original name given to the mosque by Muslims who wanted to build it.  It was called the Cordoba Project.  So called because when Muslims began the invasion and conquest of Spain they built their first mosque at Cordoba.  Mosques are and always have been a sign of triumph over infidels.  Since the 7th century they have been used to plan battles and store weapons.  They are definitely not the same as a church or Buddhist temple.  When they realized some of us infidels knew what it meant they changed the name.  I do not want this mosque built there as many Muslims also have said the same thing as basically "why fan the flames?"  But I see no legal way to stop it.
Far more worrying to me is what Muslims in America are doing to take away our rights such as freedom of expression, etc., and the wimp response of Americans.  New York publishers cancelled books on Islam because as they admitted they fear for their staff.  A play in Cincinnati was not put on because of Muslim objections so it was moved and put on in Manhattan.  Muslim groups are suing anyone who speaks out against Islam including radio hosts.  It is the stealth Jihad going on in America which is the frightening thing.  They now have the numbers so that Muslim Associations on university campuses heckle and threaten speakers who are pro-Israel and many times campus guards have to protect the speakers and at times police have been needed as well.  People are afraid to invite anti-Muslim speakers now.  They can burn our flag and the Bible but we cannot burn their hate-filled Koran (in which we are called monkeys and apes).  And they are doing their best to change the curriculum of our school systems to whitewash Islam. 
The Muslim who did the right thing and testified against the cowardly bastard who killed 13 Americans at Ft. Hood says now that his entire Muslim community (in America) has cut him dead.  He did the horrible thing of helping infidels against a Muslim.  Never mind that he was a murderer.   There is not one Muslim country in the world which gives equal rights to its minorities; but when they are in a minority, they demand not just equal but extra rights above everyone else.  Ironically, it is the illegal immigrants from Mexico who are standing up to these arrogant bastards in factories saying no they will not let Muslims tell them when to close for Muslim holidays, etc. 
I fought against Muslim fanatics on the streets of New York in 1989 when they wanted to kill Salmon Rushdie for something he wrote.  I woke up to the very real danger of what happens when these screaming, hate-filled assholes have the numbers to cause problems.  When Muslims want to kill writers I take that very personally - as should everyone.
Whether or not they build the mosque is not such an emotional issue with me.  Bleeding heart liberal denials of the fact that Islam is a clear and present danger to a democracy is what puzzles and astonishes me.  Believe me, the more you learn about Islam the more you will come to realize it is not a "religion of peace."  And as real moderate Muslims point out, the more Western liberals deny that their are problems within Islam itself, the more those liberals pull the rug out from the truly moderate Muslims.  And, yes, it is a cliché, but I am a firm believer in the adage that all it takes for evil to triumph is for enough good men to do nothing.


Fighting back against Islamization of the West


THE RELIGION OF PEACE (in the real world)






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SAUDI ARABIA: One Kiss Costs Man 4 months and 120 lashes


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Killed by Muslim fathers, brothers, etc., for trying to live as a human being


Chicago campaign on taxis to stop the Islamization of America & the killing of Muslim women by their family members.  The campaign is now in danger of being discontinued.


This woman had a nose once; until Muslim men decided she wasn't Muslim enough.  Women want go to school?  Talk to a non-relative?  Muslim men have ways to stop that.  Acid, for one.  Click on the photographs.

91 percent of honor killings worldwide are done by Muslims

84 percent of honor killings in US done by Muslims



                                                                                 Happening Now in America:

Islamic foot-washing basins in airports; Shariah finance being introduced by American banks; college campuses designating Islamic prayer rooms for Muslims only; Islamic compounds practicing Shariah law springing up across America; public schools using tax dollars to indoctrinate American students into Islam; demands by Muslim parents that their children be provided private prayer rooms in their public schools; Muslim workers demanding special workplace accommodations no other religious person would ask for; creative people being threatened as with South Park; publishers self-censoring out of fear of Muslim anger and hate; plays self-censored out of fear of Muslim backlash; Muslim Associations on college campuses interrupting speakers they don't like; Muslim taxi drivers refusing to allow guide dogs for the blind in their taxis; high school texts whitewashing Islam; and the list goes on.  And on.  And on.


"How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog...No stronger retrograde force exists in the world (than Islam)." Winston Churchill


Mohammad Playing with his Six-year-old Bride to Be

The so-called Prophet Muhammad Married a six-year-old named Aisha and had Sex with the girl by the time she was nine (if not before).  Mohammad ordered the death of two poets who mocked him as well as killed many others.  The Koran is full of hate for non-believers which it equates with "evil-doers."  Islam is not a religion: it is a fanatical brotherhood and hate-filled ideology.  The West continues to ignore the fact that Islam is a clear and present danger to anyone who believes in free speech, an independent judiciary, free press, etc., etc.  Self-censorship is now being practiced in Europe and America to appease Muslims.  The more Muslims a country lets in, the more problems it will have.


Raping boys is called "MAN-LOVING DAY"

Is She or isn't he?

"Sexual abuse of boys in the Islamic religious schools known as madrasas is not uncommon, and neither is the rape of boys in Afghanistan, especially on Thursday, known as “man-loving day,” because Friday prayers are thought to absolve a sinner of all his guilt."


"All it takes for evil to triumph is for enough good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

Ibn Warraq:

The cartoons in the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten raise the most important question of our times: freedom of expression. Are we in the west going to cave into pressure from societies with a medieval mindset, or are we going to defend our most precious freedom -- freedom of expression, a freedom for which thousands of people sacrificed their lives? A democracy cannot survive long without freedom of expression, the freedom to argue, to dissent, even to insult and offend...Unless, we show some solidarity, unashamed, noisy, public solidarity with the Danish cartoonists, then the forces that are trying to impose on the Free West a totalitarian ideology will have won; the Islamization of Europe will have begun in earnest.


"I studied the Quran a great deal. I came away from that study with the conviction that there have been few religions in the world as deadly to men as that of is the principal cause of the decadence so visible today in the Muslim world and, though less absurd than the polytheism of old, its social and political tendencies are more to be feared, and I regard it as a form of decadence rather than a form of progress in relation to paganism itself." Alexis de Tocqueville


Muslim extremists brandishing banners calling British soldiers 'Butchers'


  • "The sword of Muhammad and the Quran are the most fatal enemies of civilization, liberty, and the truth which the world has yet known." - The eminent orientalist Sir William Muir (1819-1905)




    Iran 23

    "All religions take care to silence or to execute those who question them...It has, however, been some time since Judaism and Christianity resorted openly to torture and censorship. Not only did Islam begin by condemning all doubters to eternal fire, but it still claims the right to do so in almost all of its dominions, and still preaches that these same dominions can and must be extended by war." - Christopher Hitchens, God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything





    'If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence. If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel.' - Benjamin Netanyahu




    The Bodies of Two Dead Gays in Iran


    (killed by adherents of "the religion of peace")



    There is not one Muslim country in the world which gives equal rights to non-Muslims but when Muslims enter other countries they demand more than equal rights!  Write your congressman and tell him to stop kowtowing to Muslims.

    “No other religion in Europe is so demanding, and no other migration group depends so much on the social welfare state and is so much connected to criminality.”



    “Religion is an insult to human dignity.  With or without it, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things.  But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.”        --        by Nobel Laureate physicist Steven Weinberg. 



    "Mohammad poisoned the sources of human felicity at the fountain, by degrading the condition of the female sex...and he declared undistinguishing and exterminating war, as a part of his religion, against all the rest of mankind. The essence of his doctrine was violence and lust: to exalt the brutal over the spiritual part of human nature" - John Quincy Adams




    —The unbelievers are your inveterate enemy. (4:101)
    —Mohammed is God’s apostle. Those who follow him are ruthless to the unbelievers but merciful to one another. (48:29).
    —It is unlawful for a believer to kill another believer, accidents excepted. (4:92)
    —Believers, take neither the Jews nor the Christians for your friends. (5:51)
    —Make war on them until idolatry shall cease and God’s religion shall reign supreme. (8:40)
    —Fight against them until idolatry is no more and God’s religion reigns supreme. (2:193)
    —The true believers fight for the cause of God, but the infidels fight for the devil.  (4:76)
    —We will put terror into the hearts of the unbelievers. (3:151)
    —I shall cast terror into the hearts of the infidels. Strike off their heads, strike off the very tips of their fingers. (8:12)

    —Muhammad said to the Jews: “If you embrace Islam, you will be safe. You should know that the earth belongs to Allah and His Apostle, and I want to expel you from this land. “
    — Allah’s Apostle said, “You (i.e. Muslims) will fight with the Jews till some of them will hide behind stones. The stones will (betray them) saying, ‘O ‘Abdullah (i.e. slave of Allah)! There is a Jew hiding behind me; so kill him.‘ “
    —Mohammed said, “I have been ordered to fight with the people till they say, “None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, and whoever says, “ None has the right to be worshipped but Allah , his life and property will be saved by me.“ (otherwise it will not). Vol. 4:196
    —Mohammed said, “Whoever changes his Islamic religion, kill him.“ Vol. 9:57
    —Mohammed said, “ No Muslim should be killed for killing a Kafir” (infidel). Vol. 9:50
    —Muhammad said: “Fight in the name of Allah and in the way of Allah. Fight against those who disbelieve in Allah. Make a holy war, … “. (Sahih Muslim 4294)






    Some books that tell it like it is!


    Now on trial in Holland for "insulting Islam"



    The Islamization of Europe

    Muslims are rapidly destroying freedom in Europe and have even brought about self-censorship and real censorship in the United States.  But there is one city in Holland where a new reality can be seen with the naked eye, more than anywhere else. Here, entire neighborhoods look as if they have been lifted from the Middle East, here stand the largest mosques in Europe, here parts of sharia law are applied in the courts and theaters, here many of the women go around veiled, here the mayor is a Muslim, the son of an imam.  This city is Rotterdam, Holland's second largest city by population, and the largest port in Europe by cargo volume.  Europeans, especially politicians, will not lift a finger to fight against Islamofascism.  And future generations will pay the price. 

    The hate-filled Quran (Koran) consistently uses offending remarks whenever it mentions non-Muslims. It describes non-Muslims as animals (Q.7: 179, Q.25: 44, Q.47: 12). Then it describes the Jews as donkeys Q. 62:5 then as apes and pigs (Q.2: 65, Q. 5:60, Q. 7:166). To be described as an animal is a bad insult in Arabic culture, but pigs, apes and donkeys are particularly bad.  "Religion of Peace," my ass. 


    More people are killed by Islamists each year than in all 350 years of the Spanish Inquisition combined. (source)


    For the latest roundup of Muslim atrocities around the world click here:



    Please note, I do not and never would advocate violence against individual Muslims in any community.  For one thing, the guy you beat up with a baseball bat may turn out to have just escaped from some horrible Islamic regime.  Individual violence against Muslims or doing damage to mosques, etc., is just stupid and is also counterproductive as Muslim fanatics will show pictures of that all over the Muslim world to incite people against the West. 

    A good case can be made that Islam is a fanatical brotherhood masquerading as a religion, and, indeed, the adherents of Islam often act that way.   But, as individuals, a Muslim neighbor might possibly be more honest than a Christian neighbor.  It is only that the Muslim will have been brought up in a religion/brotherhood with a medieval mindset that is centuries behind the times and has a penchant for violence, especially against those who criticize the Koran and other aspects of Islam.   Winning the war against Muslim fanatics will take a long time and be hard-fought but, assuming people wake up to the clear and present danger of Islam, it can and will be won.  But we must demand that more and more moderate Muslims join the fight against fanatical Muslims.   We must demand that our leaders absolutely reject any "compromise" on our right to free expression.  Compromising with the fanatics pulls the rug out from the Muslim moderates desperately trying to reform and secularize Islam.  And we must never bow to Muslim demands to curb our hard-won freedom of expression.   And freedom of expression always includes satire and even insulting satire including satire of glorified tribal myths called religion.

    " U.S. Air Force - Travel Agents To Allah"


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    "Barrett has a gift for taking us into cultures worlds apart from our own, displaying a reverence for their exotic and grotesque as well as their beauty and history....”

    - The Poisoned Pen Book Review


    “The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion.  It should transcend a personal god and avoid dogmas and theology.  Covering both the natural and the spiritual, it should be based on a religious sense arising from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual and a meaningful unity.  Buddhism answers this description.  If there is any religion that would cope with modern scientific needs, it would be Buddhism.” - Albert Einstein