ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
 COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
 about buying a computer.
 ABBOTT: Mac?
 COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
 ABBOTT: Your computer?
 COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
 ABBOTT: Mac?
 COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
 ABBOTT: What about Windows?
 COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
 ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
 COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
 ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
 COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
 ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
 COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
 proposals,
 track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
 ABBOTT: Office.
 COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
 ABBOTT: I just did.
 COSTELLO: You just did what?
 ABBOTT: Recommend something.
 COSTELLO: You recommended something?
 ABBOTT: Yes.
 COSTELLO: For my office?
 ABBOTT: Yes.
 COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
 ABBOTT: Office.
 COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
 ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
 COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm
 sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
 ABBOTT: Word.
 COSTELLO: What word?
 ABBOTT: Word in Office.
 COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
 ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
 COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
 ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
 COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some
 straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
 ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
 COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
 your business. Just tell me what I need!
 ABBOTT: Real One.
 COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I
 watch them?
 ABBOTT: Of course.
 COSTELLO: Great! With what?
 ABBOTT: Real One.
 COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I
do?
 ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
 COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
 ABBOTT: The blue "1".
 COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
 ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
 COSTELLO: What word?
 ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
 COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
 ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
 COSTELLO: It is?
 ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
 pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
 COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
 ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part
 of Office.
 COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial
 bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
 ABBOTT: Money.
 COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
 ABBOTT: Money.
 COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
 ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer
 COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
 ABBOTT: Money.
 COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
 ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
 COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
 ABBOTT: One copy.
 COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
 ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
 COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
 ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

 A FEW DAYS LATER . .

 ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
 COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
 ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........