Western Hypocrites: The Dump & Run

Psssst! Would you like to get really angry? I mean really? Well, if you can still find it around, just take a look at one of the past issues of The Big Chilli magazine. No, you won’t get angry at The Big Chilli; you’ll get angry about the idiot who lived on soi 4 with his “fierce Scot” wife. 

You know the type of journalists referred to as “parachute journalists”? These are the guys who want to make a quick buck and an undeserved name for themselves so they fly out of London or wherever and pop over to Thailand, then after a week or so, fly back to their shabby lives and the shabby newspaper they work for and write screaming headlines about how they purchased a child or a slave in Thailand or actually saw girls dancing topless in Pattaya while being exploited by… blah, blah, blah. These assholes don’t give a damn about the issues; they give a damn about making a name for themselves. Real journalists hate their guts.

Well, there is something even worse than a parachute journalist. It is somebody living here in Bangkok, going to bars, and then, for big bucks, selling some sensational story to the foreign press, in this case the tabloid Daily Mail of London. Alex Renton is his name and he and his “fierce Scot” wife and six-year-old rugrat lived on – wait for it – Sukhumvit, soi 4. The title of his sensationalized piece is “My Life on Shame Street.”

It seems this fellow is a charity worker although he sounds more like a basket case. Apparently, to this couples dismay, thousands of foreign men flock to Thailand for sex and some of the men are quite a few years older than some of the Thai women they are with. Wowsee! Shagadilic! He must have had a Deep Throat source informing him of all this.  And we all know how some unattractive Western females feel about Western men enjoying themselves with Thai women of any age.  Here is this loser’s wife speaking: “Sometimes we sit in one of the less seedy bars and watch the extraordinary Beauty and the Beast scenes before us.” (Perhaps she’s looking in the mirror?)

Anyway, she continues to spew forth her hatred: “Elderly men fondle the girls, picking them over while the women try desperately to keep that famous Thai smile fixed on their faces.” (What’s the matter, sweetie, nobody interested in fondling you?)

“I’ve found myself shouting at a man with a Thai girl who looks half his weight and a quarter his age: ‘How old is that one, mate? That’s illegal, you know.’”

Well, Fierce Scot Lady, I won’t ask your weight or your age but here’s the thing.  I hate pedophiles as much as you do but the girls in the bars may look 17 to you but are often 25 or 30 with a child of their own.  The 30-year-old I took to the States a few years back was mistaken for a student or even a child by everyone who saw her.  No, sweetie, what you are seeing isn’t “illegal.”  It’s infuriating. To you. That man with that pretty Thai girl doesn’t need to take your BS.  And he sure isn’t interested in you.  And whereas where you come from, men have to crawl on broken glass for a date, well, here they don’t. But don’t try to pretend you’re upset because of the ages of the girls. You’re upset because foreign men in Thailand are not losers in the Gender Wars as they are in the West.  In other words, in the vast majority of cases of foreign men with Thai women, they are consenting adults which means it is – and please pay attention here because I am exercising great restraint in order to retain my reputation as a gentleman – none of your fucking business.

This woman also proudly forces men walking down the street with these girls to make way for her so he has to walk in the gutter.  That of course is one of many giveaways as to the real (shudder) personality of these two people.  It's also a perfect example of the old feminazi trick: I win you lose whatever you do.  Because if the guy does allow her to block the narrow sidewalk and go into the street, she feels she's won.  If he doesn't and instead brushes by her or even pushes her aside, she's won because that must mean he is an uncouth, ill-mannered thug.  And they claim to have problems getting by because the street is just so crowded with guys and their girlfriends when in truth the street is crowded with vendors.

Also, one thing I learned as a playwright is to write against type.  In other words, if a Scotswoman is described as quiet, soft-spoken but persistent and effective, that is interesting.  But this guy has a "Fierce Scot" wife and that is a horrible cliche.  And having worked with Amnesty International for many years doing volunteer work I know a phony when I see one.  People interested in human rights do not sit in bars or accost a handful of older men with younger girls on the street, trying to force them to walk in the gutter.  They put their ass on the line like the Frenchman in Cambodia who tried to rescue children from Svay Pak and those who go undercover wherever children are available for sex to take hidden photographs. 

According to the Dateline magazine of the Foreign Correspondents Club of Thailand, the couple are moving back to England, to Edinburgh, and may indulge in "literary" pursuits.  Aiiiyaaah!  Does this mean two years from now we will be reading their novel set in Thailand in which bad, baaad foreign men accompany virginal young Thai women through the streets of Bangkok to unspeakable destinations?  But it does sound like a case of Let's Dump on Thailand before We Leave and Move on.  The Dump & Run.  It also sounds like one more case of one more Western female fanatic desperate to mold Thailand to her own values, and when that doesn't happen, she gets upset.

So, Fierce Scot Lady, here’s what you do: You take Mr. Wimpy and the ankle-biter back to the Land of Ferris-wheel-by-the-Thames and be real, real happy.  See if you can change things for the better there, where you so obviously belong.  As for Mr. Wimpy himself, what can one say?  He was paid his 30 ounces of silver and now can proudly look forward to a career as an outstanding journalist – the man who One Night in Bangkok discovered that some older men have sex with Thai women much younger than themselves!  Not worthy of a Pulitzer, perhaps, but how about the Wimpy Husband/Wanna-Be Journalist Award?    Best 'a me backside to you and yours.                  

One can only sympathize with the Tourism of Thailand’s London Office: “Every city in the world has its dark side – Just look at Amsterdam, Hamburg and even here in London. And yet they don’t have to face the kind of publicity that Bangkok seems to get so regularly.”  Well said.